CHAPTER 003

I couldn't believe what I had just heard, Laura's words echoed in my ears like a thunderclap. I could feel my chest growing so tight that it became difficult for me to breathe.

“You left me and married him, claiming he was the love of your life, so right now I don't care if you got divorced because of me or not.” Jason retorted, his voice laced with bitterness.

Every word felt like a needle piercing my heart.

“I was young and confused Jason. I'm sorry for the hurt I caused you back then. I thought I loved him but I never did, it was after I married him that I realized I left gold for bronze. Jason, it's you my heart beats for.” 

Laura sobbed, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I was breathless, eager to know how Jason would react to the pitiful Laura in front of him, but I was also afraid that his answer would make me a complete loser in our marriage.

“It's too late Laura, I'm married.” Jason declared.

I watched in a daze, hoping for something. I wanted to see Jason break free from Laura’s grip and tell her that he had nothing to do with her anymore.

If that happened then our marriage could still have a chance of survival.

Laura's voice trembled as she asked the question that haunted me.

“Do you love her?” Her eyes searched Jason's for a definitive answer.

My heart ceased to beat.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer. From dating to marriage, Jason has been considerate to me in every way, but I have never heard him say he loves me. 

I thought those three words "I love you" were not that important, and our marriage was still happy without them. 

But now, I have never been so eager to hear a positive answer from him.

“Whether I love her or not has nothing to do with you.”

He evaded a direct answer.

It was hard for me to judge whether this answer was good or bad for me. I felt a bitterness in my heart and had to open my mouth to keep breathing.

Laura pressed on, her voice tinged with desperation. “Do you still love me? Please tell me the truth.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Jason's reluctance to answer spoke volumes, leaving me stunned and unable to comprehend what was happening.

My cold palms were sweating and black spots began to appear in my vision. I couldn't stand steadily. It felt like I was stepping into a quagmire and was about to lose my balance.

In that moment of tense silence, I stumbled back, losing my footing for a brief moment and making a small sound unintentionally drawing their attention. 

“Who's there?” Jason stood and rushed over to the door.

I turned and fled, tears blurring my vision.

My steps stumbled, but I tried my best to keep my balance and kept running forward.

“Ava please wait.” He pleaded, his voice filled with urgency.

I ran as fast as I could trying to escape but my legs failed me. His long legs caught up to me and he grabbed my hand, pinning me to a wall.

My eyes were drenched with tears as I struggled. “Get your filthy hands off me, Jason.”

“Ava please it's not what you think. Let's go home first, I'll explain everything.” Jason pleaded.

I used the back of my hands to wipe the tears off my face glaring at him intensely.

“What do you want to explain Jason? The fact that you can't answer a simple question of whether you love me or not or the fact that I saw another woman in your arms, the same woman you gave my position to and went on a date with on our anniversary?”

“If you didn't love me, why then did you marry me?” I blurted out, my eyes all red and puffy.

“We've been married for three years.” he continued trying to reassure me.

“Please believe me.”

I wanted to believe him, to trust that our marriage could withstand this storm, even though I didn't hear him say that affirmative word. So I nodded reluctantly, giving him a chance to explain.

But just as a flicker of hope ignited within me, Jason's phone buzzed. 

I kept praying in my heart that this message was not sent by Laura.

But when Jason's phone lit up, I felt my throat close up.

Laura had sent him a picture message showing her injured wrist. Panic flashed across Jason's face and he turned to leave without hesitation.

I stopped him, my voice sharp with hurt and frustration.

“Where are you going? Aren't you coming home with me to explain?” I demanded, and my heart sank with each passing second.

“It's an emergency. Laura hurt herself, she is bleeding profusely.”

I snatched his phone and glanced at the photo. The wound on Laura's wrist was very shallow, avoiding the artery. It posed no real danger at all, it was clearly a ploy for attention and sympathy.

“Babe why don't you head home first, once I check on her I will come home and explain everything to you.”His words were full of urgency.

He loved her so much that he couldn't bear to let her get hurt in any way. Once again, he was going to leave me for her.

Somehow, I wanted to take a gamble.

I wanted to take a gamble on whether this marriage was still worth my nostalgia, and whether this man was still worth my deep love.

“If you go to her, I won't listen to a word you say ever again.” I threatened.

“Ava, when did you become cold-hearted?” 

He stared at me like I was the villain. His questioning look hurt me like an icy blade.

“Can't you see that the wound is shallow, she is trying to gain your attention and you are falling for her petty tricks. I didn't know you to be this easily deceived Jason.” I yelled, clenching my fist tightly.

“Don't be heartless.” After giving me a reproachful look, he rushed away, leaving me standing alone with my shattered heart.

A sudden jolt of electricity coursed through my veins leaving me momentarily stunned as I watched him walk away. My mind is swirling with doubts about our marriage.

My head ached as different questions popped into it. Why does Laura have this much effect on him? Could it be that he's in love with her?

As I stood there the weight of uncertainty crushed me. I realized that with Laura around, my happiness with Jason was at stake.

With a baby on the way, I faced an impossible choice whether to fight for our fractured love or prepare myself for a future alone. I realized my choice would affect not just my future but the future of my unborn child which Jason is yet to know of.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I wondered if our love could survive the storm that is threatening to tear us apart.

If our marriage is unhappy, should I still give birth to this baby?