The clock on my nightstand shows that it’s already 4:43 PM and I need to leave soon if I don’t want to be late. Brent will be meeting me at Grand Teton National Park which is about a 40-minute drive from my house.
We wanted to meet somewhere beautiful so that when we see each other, and the mate bond snaps into place we have a beautiful setting to add to the memory and the stories we’ll tell our children and grandchildren.
After one more quick glance in the mirror to confirm that I look okay. I slip on my brown ballet flats grab my purse and keys and head out the door. I opted for the flats instead of heels because I need to be able to easily walk the trails in the park to get to the spot where we agreed to meet.
It’s getting warm out and the mountain breeze feels so good, but today I’m driving with the windows up and the A/C running on a low setting. I don’t want to risk messing up my hair. Everything about this moment needs to be perfect.
Admittedly, I tend to speed when I drive, so I ended up getting there about 10 minutes early. At least I can take my time on the trail and make sure I’m not too tired, or worse – sweaty, when I arrive.
I’ve always loved these mountains. The jutting peaks surrounded by acres of gorgeous aspen forest and gleaming lakes next to wildflower meadows just speaks to my soul. Of course, as wolves we love being in nature, but this park holds special memories for me.
Before my mom was killed in a rogue attack we used to come here together as a family every weekend in the summer. Hiking, camping, and having picnics were just a few of the activities we enjoyed.
After my mom died, my dad shut down. Whenever I asked him if he wanted to come here, he declined. It had been years since I'd been able to visit, but as soon as I got my driver’s license, I started making my own trips up here alone. Eventuallly, I started bringing Brent along as well. I told Brent that I wanted to have our moment here because it would help me to feel like my mom was here celebrating with us.
We made several trips here together over the last couple of months to scout out the perfect location for this moment. There are a lot of tourists in the area and so it can be challenging to find privacy, but we lucked out and stumbled upon a mountain stream that flows into a small clearing sprinkled with Monkshood, Fireweed, and Skyrocket Gilia flowers.
Rounding a large boulder, the meadow came into view, and I could already smell the flowers as my ears tuned in to listen to the magical sound of the babbling brook. This moment already felt perfect, and my mate wasn’t even here yet.
There was a large tree on the far side of the clearing and under it sat two large flat stones, smooth and perfect to sit and rest. I made my way across the meadow and picked a Skyrocket as I passed. Tipping the flower at my lips, the sweet nectar inside slipped into my mouth and danced over my tongue as I swallowed it. Natures perfect sweet treat.
Settling down on the rock to wait for Brent, the weight of this moment finally hits me. I’m about to find out if Brent is my fated mate, and either way we are going to declare our love for one another and commit to be mates for life. I’m so sure of this, so sure of us, that all I feel is peace and joy.
The front edge of the rock is currently bathed in sunlight, and I decide to scoot forward and soak it in. I close my eyes and tilt my head back to welcome the warmth of the sun when I hear Brent’s voice across the field. “Hey there beautiful! Mind if I join you?”
Butterflies erupt in my stomach at the sound of his voice. Momentarily, I panic because I didn’t smell anything, but I remind myself that since we’re outside we may have to be closer to smell each other’s mate scent. Neither of us have experienced the mate bond before, so we don’t know what to expect. Yeah, we’ve heard from others what it’s like, but knowing something and experiencing it for yourself are two very different things.
I quickly stand and begin making my way back across the meadow. As we move closer to each other, everything feels like it’s in slow motion. I begin intentionally sniffing the air and I almost close my eyes to focus on his scent.
In a matter of seconds, we’re standing in front of each other, both wearing expressions of shock and confusion. Brent takes me in his arms and buries his face in my neck inhaling deeply. Wait, maybe he can smell it… but I don’t smell anything. What’s wrong with me?
Almost in answer to my question, Brent pulls back, and his eyes look sad. “You smell the same.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, but I can’t speak, so I just nod my head to confirm. We’re not fated mates.
Brent grabs my hand with one of his, and his other hand moves up to cup my cheek. “It’s ok, Gina. We can still choose each other... I choose you.”
I smile at him, but it doesn’t reach my eyes. I was so sure that we were mates. We both were. Even though we agreed to choose each other, knowing that we aren’t fated, this moment feels.. anticlimactic.
Every wolf hopes to find their fated mate. The mate bond is always described as the most intense feelings you will ever have towards another person. Brent and I wanted to be together no matter what, and we hoped we would get to experience the mate bond together, but we’re already in love. Mate bond be damned, I’m not giving him up.
Pushing my disappointment aside, I swallow again and force a smile that is more convincing. “Yeah,” I croak, “I choose you too.”
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We tried to hang out and talk in the meadow, but things just felt awkward despite our best efforts, so we headed out early to get to dinner. Dinner was not the joyous moment we both anticipated, and we agreed that we were probably both tired because we didn’t sleep much the night before due to our excitement.
Instead of setting up our tent to camp under the stars, we agreed to both go home and rest, and then we could give ourselves time to adjust to the idea that we would only be chosen mates, not fated.
Before we parted ways, Brent held me tight and kissed me passionately. It was reassuring, but there was still a heaviness in my heart. How could he not be fated to me?
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Now I’m sitting at home alone in the dark living room. A few silent tears streak down my face, but I refuse to act like this is terrible thing. Brent is still mine. We still chose each other.
I’m thankful my dad isn’t home. Not that he would ask or say anything. He never pays attention to me. I just appreciate having the house to myself. The dark and the quiet helps me to clear my head and process everything that happened today.
The sound of Dad’s truck pulling up makes me realize that I spoke too soon. It’s only 11:20 PM. He’s usually not home until 12:30 AM at the earliest. I hear his voice murmuring something and the voice of a woman giggling. They’re both obviously drunk and, thanks to my heightened were wolf senses, I can smell the alcohol from inside the house. Quickly rising to my feet, I rush upstairs and into my room, closing the door behind me.
I sit on my bed in the dark as I listen to my dad and his date for the night, stumbling through the house toward his bedroom. At least they closed the door. That will help suppress the sounds of their late-night tryst. Dad seems to like the loud ones, and before I can give it much thought, I can hear her moaning loudly from the room down the hall.
Looks like I’ll need my noise canceling headphones tonight. I put them on and lay in bed listening to “Wish You Were Here” by Incubus as a few more silent tears fall down my cheeks. Another reminder that I’m not with my mate tonight.
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Another week passes in the blink of an eye, and it’s finally Friday again. This means it’s been almost a week since Brent and I discovered that we aren’t fated mates. Word gets around fast, so everyone at school has heard the news and keeps asking us if we’re going to break up now. We have made it abundantly clear to everyone that we still plan to choose and mark each other after graduation. Everyone, that is, except our parents. Well, HIS parents.
My dad doesn’t really know anything about what’s going on and he doesn’t care anyway. He’s not at all involved in my life. He’s met Brent a handful of times, but never really seemed to care to get to know him. Brent’s parents are our biggest obstacle. They have always liked me and been very kind, but they have also never shied away from the fact that they believe a fated mate is the most important gift the moon goddess can bestow upon us. We both know that they will not be happy about our choice to stay together and reject our fated mates if we meet them.
Honestly, things were a little awkward between Brent and I for a few days after realizing that we weren’t fated, but now things are back to normal, and we couldn’t be happier. I was a bit worried thinking that he might actually choose to break up with me because of how he was raised, to honor the mate bond, but he has been so affectionate and attentive for the last 3 days, after he got over the shock of it all. Maybe even more affectionate than he was before. I think we both just needed some time to adjust our mindset.
The thing with being in school still is that everyone else in our grade is around the same age as us, which means there are a lot of wolves having birthdays, turning 18, and looking for their mates. Many of the kids in our class choose to throw big parties and invite everyone hoping that their mate shows up. Several girls have attempted to flirt with Brent, inviting him to their upcoming birthday parties, but of course, he turns them down.
Jill’s party is in about a week and a half, but today everyone is buzzing about Amanda’s party which is tonight. When I say they invite everyone, I mean everyone! Amanda invited Jill, and she even had the nerve to invite me and Brent! Of course, none of us are going to attend. Jill isn’t old enough to find her mate yet, so there’s really no point in her going, and since Brent and I have already chosen each other, we have no intention of going, but I think Amanda has always had a crush on Brent and she was hoping they were fated so she could steal him from me.
I guess we could go and if we find our mates there it would give us the opportunity to reject them so that we could move forward with our relationship, but we don’t really want to humiliate them at a party in front of everyone. No, we’ll just wait and deal with them if and when we come across them.
For years, I had been trying to convince Jill to go out on a double date with Brent and I, but she has always insisted that she was saving herself for her mate. She never dated anyone, and honestly, I don’t even think she has ever kissed a guy, which is surprising with all the partying she’s done, I guess her mind is set. Even though she is saving herself for her mate, she also doesn’t judge me for being with Brent and choosing him over my mate. She’s a good friend and she supports me and my choices even if she disagrees.
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Over the next several weeks, many of our classmates found their fated mates. Every time I’d be walking through the hall, and I heard someone say “mate,” my head snapped around to see who it was and who they were talking to. There was a part of me that was always worried that one time it would be my mate or Brent’s, but it never was.
Jill’s birthday came and went, and she didn’t find her mate either. She was pretty heartbroken at first, but I reminded her that she’s never really left the territory and her mate was probably not from our pack.
Now that she is 18, she can attend the Blue Moon Ball where wolves from many different packs gather in search of their mates. She loves getting all dressed up for a night out, and the next ball is taking place right after graduation. She immediately started searching for the perfect dress and dreaming about that magical moment when she meets her mate at the ball. I pray that it works out and she isn’t left heartbroken again.
The rest of the year flew by so fast. Before we knew it, it was the end of school and the begining of summer. Brent and I never found our mates, which was kind of a relief. Jill managed to pass her calculus course with a B+ and I was so proud of her and all her hard work. I can’t believe our graduation ceremony is tonight! Although Brent and I had a small rough patch when we initially discovered that we weren’t fated mates, it didn’t take long for us to fall back into a comfortable rhythm with each other. We never did get around to marking each other, and it was a little awkward how it never came up as a conversation topic when it had so often been the focal point when we spoke about the future, but I tried not to stress myself out about it too much. I’m sure we’ll mark each other after graduation. Maybe Brent is just planning some sort of a surprise and he’s avoided talking about it, so he doesn’t slip and give anything away. He was always so sweet with the surprises he would
Poor Jill was heart-broken again. She spent so much time and effort getting herself ready for the Blue Moon Ball and she still didn’t find her mate. I did my best to comfort her, but I think she really just needed some time to grieve and cry. Being her shoulder to cry on was my main priority after the ball, but she kept insisting that I go and enjoy myself with Brent, that she would be fine. I wasn’t convinced, but Brent kept pushing for me to give her some space, so he and I went away for a long weekend trip to Portland Oregon. When we returned Jill seemed to be in a better place emotionally, so I didn’t press her for information or ask for details. She also agreed to go with Brent and I on a trip to Vegas. We spent a week lounging around a pool, going to shows, and gambling a bit as well. It was so fun, and Brent was very understanding about not being too affectionate in front of Jill. I didn’t want her to feel like the third wheel on our trip. The summer was filled with tr
“Mate!” When I heard that all too familiar female voice behind us, my heart stopped beating and my breath hitched. This has got to be some sort of joke, but when I turned and looked at Brent’s face, I knew it wasn’t a joke. He had gone pale, but I could hear his heart racing. His nostrils flared, telling me he was taking in the scent of his fated mate. His fists were still clenched with white knuckles, and there were now a few drops of his blood on the table from his nails elongating and piercing his palms. His whole body was ridged, as if a single movement would lead to his death. I could sense her standing behind us, but I dare not turn around to confirm my worst nightmare. All he needs to do is resist the mate bond and reject her, but as the seconds ticked by and he remained frozen I began to worry. The girl behind us stood there silently waiting for something, anything, to happen. The room had gone silent as everyone in the cafeteria waited to see how this would play out.
“It’s more…” That was the moment the pressure became too much and the cracks in my heart couldn’t take it anymore. I shattered into a thousand pieces. I wanted to run, I wanted to scream, I wanted to bury myself in my bed and never get up again. Brent reached for me with sad eyes, but I stepped back again. This time I turned and ran back to the dorms. Hopefully everyone will be out since it’s the middle of the day on Sunday. I didn’t really want to be seen like this. Everything I thought I knew about Brent and our relationship; I was now viewing through a different lens. He had slept around before we dated. How did I not know that? He cheated on me with Amanda. I should have been more suspicious of her from the start. I should have paid closer attention to how Brent responded to her. I’m sure there were signs and hints that I missed. I wonder how many people knew these things about him that I didn’t. Did they all assume that I just didn’t care, or were you they laughing
The next day I woke up early and was feeling pretty good about getting back to training. I didn’t know what Brent was going to decide, but I was ready to face the day. Until I walked into the gym and saw Brent. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotions again, and my feet carried me straight to Brent without my permission. He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. For the umpteenth time I felt my heart drop. Had he already decided what he was going to do?“Hi,” I say softly while looking down at our feet. Brent curls his index finger under my chin and lifts my face, so our eyes meet. I’m looking into the same soft turquoise eyes that hold all the love and affection I’ve gotten used to seeing, but there was something else there. He looked indecisive and tormented, but I wasn’t ready to give up. Brent opened his mouth to respond, but then he paused and looked over my shoulder. He quickly pulled his hand away from me and took a step back, putting distance between us. I tur
The drive back to the training complex took longer than I would have liked. While Trevor was resting his hand on my thigh and rubbing his thumb up and down, I had a few minutes for my shifter healing to start working through the alcohol I had consumed. By the time we arrived, my buzz was significantly less, and the fog from my lust was wearing down slightly. My confidence wavered and I started thinking of a way to back out of this without completely embarrassing myself or offending Trevor. It’s not his fault that I said yes and then had doubts. We pulled in close to the building where the guys bunk and my heart started racing. I hadn’t come up with a good enough excuse yet and I’m running out of time. While I sat there in a panic, Trevor came around and opened the door for me. He was being such a gentleman. Taking his hand as I climbed out of the car, our eyes suddenly locked. As soon as I was standing, he wrapped both arms around my waist and pulled me in close. “Don’t be n
Since Trevor and I hadn’t really talked much before and never ran in the same crowds, I didn’t have his phone number. I saw him plenty during the week at trainings and around the complex, but I wasn’t sure where to find him over the weekends. I knew I could have used the mind-link to reach out but dropping in on him like that just felt wrong considering the circumstances and the nature of the conversation I wanted to have. I thought it was important to have this conversation in person, and I didn’t want to come across as desperate either. I did my best to remain patient in hopes of running into him casually, but it was Sunday night now, and I hadn’t seen him since I left his room on Saturday morning. Maybe he went home to see his family for a day or two. If that’s the case, he should be back already, or headed back soon. Everywhere I went, I felt like people were staring at me and whispering about the rumors that were circulating. I’d heard a few of them. One said that Brent w
*Back to Present Day*(A week after the prologue) After more than a year of carefully cultivating my reputation, I was happy with where I landed. The men in the pack respected me and treated me well. They knew that if they wanted to use my services, they needed to follow my rules and expectations. As much as I wanted to help men who were struggling or in a bad place, I did not tolerate disrespect. There were a few men I had to put on my blacklist, but the others quickly learned from their mistakes and helped to spread the word on how to stay on my good side. The women in the pack were a different story. They didn’t like me or trust me. I often caught them whispering to each other when I was around, but it was easy enough for me to ignore them. People can be ignorant and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s not worth my time and effort to try and change their minds. They knew that I didn’t sleep with mated wolves, but they still looked at me like I was trying to take their
JERICHO The older wolf speaks up for the first time, and his voice is much rougher than I expected. “You’re her mate and I trust that you know what’s best, but where should I wait?” “There’s a dinner down the road, you can go eat lunch there, and one of us will come for you when we think she’s ready.” Mr. Akir nodded and turned to leave, but I saw the disappointment in his eyes and dejection was evident in his posture. I felt for him, but Gia is my priority right now, and I don’t want to overwhelm her with too much all at once. Once he’d rounded the corner, I quietly opened the door and stepped inside. Jill followed me and I asked her to wait in the living room while I go up to check on my mate. Before I even reached the bedroom door, Gia was exiting the room sniffing the air with her eyes wide in shock. She paused and looked at me, a million questions swimming in her golden gaze, but she didn’t say a word. Gia took a couple hesitant steps closer to me and began sniffing my c
GINA“…You’re settled with your mate, and soon you’ll have a pup.”As soon as the words left his lips, my mouth dropped open, and my hands instinctively went to my stomach. Could I really be pregnant?! I look down while simultaneously lifting my shirt to reveal my well-defined abs. I don’t look pregnant, but of course you wouldn’t be able to see anything this early.Suddenly, I could feel and hear the little fluttering heartbeat of the pup inside my womb and time stands still. I wanted to laugh and cry and panic all at once.“How did you know?” I whisper in awe as my fingertips lightly graze the taut, tan skin of my mid-section.Jericho just laughs, “You’ve seemed a bit distracted lately, always looking around like you’re on high alert, so I’ve been listening for the last couple of days, attempting to hear an extra heartbeat.”Everything makes sense now. My heightened senses are an obvious sign that my protective instincts have been turned up a few notches.“And you’re just NOW telling
GINAProving myself to the alpha and luan was my top priority. They agreed to let me recruit help, and Karli and Matthias were at the top of my list. I’d never gotten to know them as well as I should have, but now that we’re working together, I’m taking advantage of the opportunity.We have spent so much time together over the last several weeks that, now that I’m not holding back like I used to, we’ve gotten to learn a lot more about one another while we work. We’ve been using a meeting room in the pack house so we can keep all the information is a safe and confidential location.We started out by discussing the Blood Eclipse pack members who we knew without a doubt would love to be a member of a pack that would actually value them and look out for their best interests. Even when I was keeping my distance from everyone, I could tell that some of the pack members were honestly just looking for a home. They didn’t deserve to be caught up in Silas’ power struggle.Next, we had to compare
JERICHOI had no intentions of mating with Giovanna tonight. My only goal was to earn her trust and further break down her walls that were keeping me at arm’s length. I’d been fighting against my wolf all night, trying to remind myself that we needed this to be different.Everything changed when she said she wanted me to mark her. My wolf surged forward, and I gave up on fighting to hold back my instincts. I took her up to our bedroom, and slowly explored every inch or her beautiful body. I took my time memorizing every curve, and finding the perfect spots that drive her wild.Based on what she told me, I doubt she’d ever experienced what mating could be like when your partner gives of themselves without selfish ambitions. I wanted this night to be something she would never forget, for all the right reasons.It was just after the fourth time mating that my canines extended, and I sank them into her flesh, forever marking her as my mate. She immediately returned the favor, and the pain
GINAJericho kissed me, and my heart stopped. I sat there frozen as his perfect lips caressed mine and the tingles from the mate bond spread across my face, down my neck, and kept moving until my whole body was alive and thrumming.He didn’t seem deterred by the fact that I wasn’t kissing him back. I could feel his passion, his desire, and his determination. He slides his tongue along the seam of my lips, and I automatically opened up and allowed him to explore my mouth.It was amazing how he could kiss me with so much passion, yet it still felt tender and romantic at the same time. I slowly began to move my mouth returning the kiss when I heard him growl, “Mine” in satisfaction.The kiss felt amazing, but just as he was moving to pull me closer, for reasons I couldn’t understand or explain, I pulled back. I looked down at his lips, which had already begun to swell up slightly, and I was tempted to dive back in.When my eyes moved up to lock with his, I could tell the mate bond w
GINA I wasn’t expecting my ability to join the pack being dependent on my mating and marking Jericho. What happens if he rejects me? Will the pack reject me too? That’s it! I can’t handle the stress of not knowing anymore, I have to tell him tonight. I can’t put it off any longer. It’s time to rip off the band-aid and stop procrastinating. If it goes horribly wrong, I can leave tonight. I’m not sure where exactly I would go, but I’ll find somewhere. When Jericho pulled back to look at me, I could feel the emotion welling up inside, but I did my best to not let it show.“I’m sorry, I should have asked you…” he stumbled over his words, “You do want to stay and join the Silver Eclipse Pack, right?” Although he was asking my opinion, he didn’t phrase it like a question. It felt more like a statement of expectation and him looking for confirmation. The shock of it all was too much, and I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. What do I even say to that? When I didn’t an
GINA Jericho must have noticed my lack of appetite, and he seemed concerned, but he didn’t say anything. As we left the diner and headed to the pack house, he continued to hold my hand and comfort me with his touch. The walk back to the pack house only took a few minutes, but by the time we arrived, I was so stressed out that when the beta greeted us at the door, I immediately asked to use the powder room. There was one just around the corner from the entry, so Jericho let me know he would wait by the door for me to return before heading for the alpha’s office, though he was reluctant to release my hand. While I didn’t feel as if I would vomit, my body continued to heat up, and the knots in my stomach refused to release their tension. After splashing cold water on my face, I stared at the reflection of the woman in the mirror. This is the first time I’ve really stopped to examine myself in, I don’t know how long. So much has changed over the last seven years. I haven’t changed
GINA I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was until Jericho left me alone in the cottage. After he took off for the training grounds I contemplated getting up and cleaning a bit, but I just couldn’t seem to force my legs to cooperate. I resigned myself to taking a short nap and then I’ll get up and do some cleaning while exploring the rest of this house. When my eyes opened it was barely light out, and I thought I’d done a great job of taking a short nap, but the moment I felt Jericho’s heavy arm draped over my waist, and smelled his sandalwood and Irish whiskey scent, I realized that my short nap must have actually been hours. Now that I’m paying attention, I feel significantly more rested. It must be dusk. My eyes scan the room for a clock of some sort so I don’t have to get up and disturb my mate. He must be even more exhausted than I was. He had to take off and work on something while I got to lay here and sleep. My eyes stop when I notice a beautiful bouquet of flowers sit
JERICHO Since I’m unsure what the gamma wanted me for, I decided to quickly change before heading to the training grounds. I quickly grabbed a pair of athletic shorts and a t-shirt from the laundry room and trade out my jeans and dress shirt for the more casual outfit. Arriving at the training grounds five minutes earlier than I promised, I have a few moments alone to think about what I might have been called here for. I know the Alpha and Luna are still busy at the pack house receiving condolences from all the pack members who are grieving the loss of our previous alpha. Gamma Emmitt is in charge of the training and warriors, so my best guess is that this has something to do with either training or the prisoners who are currently overflowing from the various holding cells that are scattered around the territory. It only takes a couple minutes for the gamma to appear, and I’m thankful that he’s so punctual. “Hello, Gamma.” I greet him with a smile and a nod. “Hey, Jericho. So