Venedict might not be the smartest person alive. However, he couldn’t understand why this young adventurer thought food was the key to victory in a war against barbaric monsters.
Goblins could not be reasoned with. If anything, they were usually low-levelled monsters that adventurers slayed for some pocket money. There had been no history of a friendly goblin. They robbed merchant caravans like petty thieves and plundered villages, killing whatever they saw.More importantly, he didn’t know adventurers were skilled in potion-making, first aid and basic blacksmithing. Where did such a person hail from? This kid was a jack-of-all-trades. His knowledge of little knick-knacks comprised almost every occupation. With Zen’s helping hand, the severely injured troops recovered. They had almost eighty percent of their forces ready for battle again after Zen distributed diluted healing salves and applied first aid.However, Zen refused to take command ofIt didn’t matter if it was the Baron or the commander holed up in the tower. Everyone within sight could smell the delicious meat grilling on the open fires. The goblins were as undisciplined as Zen expected them to be. They pelted rocks at the gates until they ran out of rocks. Then, they started camping outside the side gate to see if they could rush into the stronghold for a taste.The birds worked hard and collected the spoils of war with the cover of night. Zen found the daggers he needed and other items such as arrows, belts, and slingshots. He rewarded the birds for their effort while distributing the roasted pork among the soldiers inside.“What’s the situation at the side gate?” Zen asked the approaching scout.Nervously, the scout reported that the goblins had stopped concealing their presence. The guards were nervous as the number of goblins lurking increased.Nodding, the gamer handed a pork sandwich to the scout and than
Thankfully, Zen was a fast learner. No, it wasn’t simply thanks to the reincarnation perk that Celine — God, gifted him. Goblins weren’t the smartest monsters. Everyone knew that across every universe. There were no instances when a goblin was depicted as an intelligent or fearsome final boss. Hence, their language reflected this simplicity.Gobo.That was the basis of all words in the goblin tongue. The gamer could understand why the royal scholars rejected the Baron’s research. Even Oritha would be able to figure this out in a matter of two days. It wasn’t very difficult to understand goblin words.“Gobo, gogo bogo, gobobo bo,” Zen rehearsed in front of the shady merchant, who stared at him incredulously. He knew that it was his job to drop hints for players. Zen was a special player from the moment he set foot in the dungeon. However, he didn’t think the kid would be serious about learning a fictional language f
After parading around the courtyard with his new outfit, Zen and Venedict disappeared to fund Gunter. The hardworking commander was still keeping an eye on the goblins camping outside their side entrance.Once away from prying eyes, Zen humbly asked Venedict for a lift to the top floor. The warrior said nothing. He wasn’t even the slightest disgusted by the filthy appearance Zen had. The strong man lifted Zen over one shoulder and carried him like a sack of potatoes. The blood rushed toward Zen’s head, and his face burst into flames when his arse was held in a very visible position. Somehow, this way of getting carried gave him déjà vu.Gunter didn’t bat an eye when Venedict entered the strategy meeting room with Zen on his shoulder, wearing goblin armour and covered in filth. The commander only asked how the investigation with Stoneberry Keep was progressing. It made Zen feel bad he wasn’t prioritising the special quest, but he had a
If Zen thought the Shady Merchant was creepy when he was happy, he changed his mind after turning in those shields.“It’s a miracle you managed to rob them of their shields! These things are so fragile that it was impossible to collect any without scratches. You’re a rare gem!”Seeing the Shady Merchant grinning from ear to ear, Zen tried not to think about the nerdy Baron’s reaction to the shields. More importantly, he needed to collect the new quest, visit the kitchen and report the goblin numbers to Gunter. The only thing stopping Zen was that lengthy flight of stairs. Thankfully, he caught sight of Venedict and hitched a hike to the top floor.Although Gunter wasn’t grinning from ear to ear, he also had an extreme reaction, in Zen’s opinion. From behind, Venedict swore his commander had never been this shocked in all his time working together. The soldiers had to work hard on the battlefield, but even they couldn’t d
“Quickly! Over here!” the goblin leader hissed when he saw a figure hobbling clumsily, looking lost on the forest trail.Thanks to the alcohol, the humans on gate-watching duty were drunk. However, the goblins knew better than to climb over that and infiltrate with their numbers. They were adept at ambushing with their upper hand in terrain knowledge and stealing resources for the camp. However, a head-on confrontation was an entirely different thing.Zen hobbled over, pretending to look beaten up as he carried the heavy sack with a broken smile, handing it to the impatient goblins.“I managed to get some leftover food from the kitchen!” Zen announced enthusiastically as the goblin leader opened the sack.Instead of delicious meat, they saw a sack of stale bread as hard as rocks. Seeing red, the goblin leader grabbed a loaf and threw it at Zen’s head. The bread hit the helmet with a loud bonk and bounced off. Zen fell backwards and u
After turning in the slingshots, Zen expected to receive a quest requesting goblin helmets or chain mail. However, the Shady Merchant presented him with the most puzzling request.“Are you sure?” he asked in disbelief. “I’d never seen them carrying staffs.”Honestly, it wasn’t all that surprising. Unlike the other players, Zen had a different method of collecting his war spoils. He only encountered the lower levelled goblins in the forest. Naturally, the sight of a staff was unfathomable to him.“Yes, they do. You can ask your goblin friends about them. Due to the difficulty of the request, we only need 5.”Zen completed the first three missions and received new skills. However, he had questions about the staff.“Won’t it be useless in the hands of a non-magic user?” Zen asked the quest-giving NPC.He understood the appeal for daggers, shields and flimsy slingshots. Those were
Wasn’t there a rule about priests abstaining from worldly sinful pleasures such as sex and alcohol? This priest that the young Baron brought back to his territory resembled a hooligan more than a holy man. Father Clarence would be shocked to see this heathen.“Oi! Are you the lad with impressive medical skills?” the drunken priest greeted and threw another sack of coins on the table, gambling his hand of cards with ladies in his lap.The underaged chef grimaced at how this NPC was sucking tongues with the local barmaid. He didn’t want to think about their complicated sleazy relationship as he wasn’t here to play cupid.“Gunter told me I could find you here. Can you tell me more about your encounter with the goblin shamans?”Sensing that his party for tonight would be cut short, the drunken priest quickly sobered and lost his interest in poker. The barmaid on his lap was rudely shoved aside, and the holy man stood up, towe
Although not much time had passed in reality, Zen spent the next few days in the dungeon hatching his plan by gathering information, pee and poo.“Hello!” Zen greeted as he ‘snuck out’ with a sack of fruit bread he made by borrowing the kitchen. It wasn’t difficult to gather wild berries and some flour to bribe these monsters.Judging from the unusually clean goblins, Zen blinked twice. Were these green monsters usually so hygienic? Then again, his plan must have been working.“Halfling, you have no idea what happened to us. Everyone in the camp, including the shamans and the leader, has been taking baths every day, even if we haven’t taken one in years!”Zen clapped his hands in an enlightened manner, praising their neat and handsome appearance. Almost immediately, a goblin closest to Zen slapped him over the helmet.“Fool! We don’t want to look handsome! We’re goblins, the scary monsters who
Collecting the rewards for successfully defeating John’s cousin, the party members of Godly Food jumped into the portal leading to the next floor. Zen knew that the dungeon had different themes on every ten floors. The tenth floor of each themed stage would be different from the other stages in difficulty. It was why the vanguard team struggled with the twentieth floor’s boss. In addition to the stage mechanic’s difference, the final boss was also tougher to deal with. If not for the monstrous capabilities of the combatants, Zen doubted they could breeze through the first ten floors as quickly as they did.Anticipating a village or town vibe similar to the other floors from before, Zen was stunned to find himself in a rocky cave full of darkness. It had ominous vibes, and only Liu Feng moved confidently in the darkness. Everyone else minimised exploring further without a light source.“We’ll log out here,” Akiko informed Damian. “Y
After entering the boss dungeon den, Zen shivered. It wasn’t similar to a wolf’s den. If anything, it appeared closer to an actual dungeon, as if someone had deliberately attempted to imprison the boss here. The stale smell of dogs and many broken chains of different sizes on the ground spoke volumes about John’s cousin.Unlike the short werewolf, who remained in his werewolf form constantly, the boss was a monster who could transform. Depending on the moon cycle, it could be a violent and bloodthirsty monster or a broken man who lived in constant fear and misery of his curse.“He changes according to the moon cycle once the rampage begins,” Akiko explained. “I took a while to figure out how to kill him, even on the first run. He’s immune to damage on a blood moon. We need to finish it as soon as possible.”With a full party participating in a boss battle, Zen had faith they could conclude it before even the blood moon p
Finally approaching the final boss’s cave, Zen wondered if the storyline would change because they had let Han murder John brutally. His body had been hacked into pieces and scattered around the rotting forest. The maggots would get to it soon and reduce it to bones. Yet, the cruel butchering session remained fresh in Zen’s mind.Everyone in the party knew that feeling all too well. Having lived in the underworld, they sympathised with Zen, who had lived like a civilian his whole life. Although not everyone participated directly in the act of murder, they knew what it meant to take a life. Even Damian had seen it happen. He knew how to interrogate for information and was quite adept at the craft when required.“Don’t think too much about it,” Liu Feng was the first to break the silence. “He wasn’t even real. This is a game designed by the Godfather to find the next successor. It’s just another test.”Even if it wer
Even after many years of not being on talking terms with the rest of the family, Hans fitted right in when delving blows at the cowardly werewolf. Mai ripped out chunks of flesh with her teeth, snarling at it the whole time while Laura expertly force-fed the werewolf with different herbs with particularly nasty effects.Even with regeneration abilities, John could not recover from herbs that tasted nasty, gave him muscle cramps or made him itch all over. Laura truly knew how to make someone suffer, and Zen watched with morbid fascination at their different uses. Her apothecary skills were no less effective than those of Herbologist Hernie.“Can you heal him again?” Damian asked. “Han needs another round. Mai roughed him up a little too good.”With a priest in the party who did not worship any known religion, the torture session became smoother and more effective. No apology from John would appease the family’s anger. Although Zen did not
After listening to the story about John, Laura’s expression hardened. “That son of a bitch!” she spat. “How dare he prey on my granddaughter! Where is he now?!” Slightly terrified by the murderous aura, Zen reported that Sasha and Damian had the werewolf at Gabrielle’s hut. Mai had been ripping him a new one each time he regenerated. The girls had been doing a great job of making him miserable. Han was already there. “I can’t believe I’m last at the party. That wolf deserves to die. Even death is too cheap a price to pay after what he did to my husband and son.” For once, Zen agreed. Even if John was merely a character in the game, he deserved death. The fact that the game administrators did not grant John invulnerable stats meant that it was possible to kill the cousin of the floor boss. While waiting for Laura to pack her ‘tools’ and herbal surprises, Zen approached Liu Feng and thanked him for accompanying them. In real time, it was already past regular l
Studying advanced herbalism from Laura took more time than Zen expected. Thankfully, the game had a way of providing cheats for him. Instead of cramming all the knowledge into his head that would give him a splitting migraine, it provided a useful guidebook that would prompt him on what a particular herb does upon location and what combinations he could use it for with other known herbs. The problem was, to truly master this skill, he had to pass the final test. Laura’s pop quiz only had ten questions. However, there was a timer. While Zen could attempt it infinitely, there were thousands of herb combinations to remember. Not having any formal education in either of his past lives, the young chef faltered. “You may use anything in this cottage as a reference for your test,” Laura smirked. “All the best. I hope you won’t disappoint me.” Stressing over the best method to find what he needed, Zen tested a few things. Firstly, when Laura said that the new skill would inst
While the other party members gathered the family members for a reunion, Zen and Liu Feng finally found Laura’s cottage after taking a wrong turn. Funnily enough, it was the Seer who pointed out how they had been going in a circle before Zen realised he had misinterpreted the map. Knocking on the cottage door, Zen waited with his sworn brother. From inside, he could hear someone coughing badly. “Who is it?” the cranky old lady hacked as she cracked open the door. Instead of seeing her sloppy son or nosy granddaughter, Laura saw a cute priest and a handsome, long-haired warrior. The new adventurers surprised her. Were they lost in the forest? “What do you want?” she asked briefly before launching into a new coughing fit. It was a particularly nasty cold that had persisted for a week now without any signs of recovery. Despite all the herbal medicine she made, Laura did not see any signs of improvement. Perhaps she was getting on in age. Smiling, Zen show
It was a shame Zen was not with them. Sasha would have gone for a few more rounds, using the cowardly werewolf as a punching bag after Zen healed him. The more they dug information out from the pervert, the worse Sasha’s temper was. Damian did not stop her. The draconian needed somewhere to vent her anger, and it was best for it not to come his way. In truth, the cyborg felt a little sorry for Gabrielle, even if she were just a fictional character created for this virtual dungeon game. The cowardly cousin of the floor boss was no different from lowly thugs borrowing the influence of their powerful relatives to cause mayhem. Whimpering in fear and pain with his tail tucked in between his legs, the werewolf defect who could not transform into a human no matter the moon cycle kept a close eye on Sasha. Under the watch of the merciless draconian female, there was nowhere for him to run. He told them what they wanted to know and was alive for now. Given how tightly they w
Using hand gestures, Sasha signalled the countdown and Damian prepared his stunning spells silently. They only had one chance to catch the secret admirer off guard. Whatever he was doing was disgusting enough. Han wasn’t lying about the obsession. The stalker werewolf was plucking flower petals and chanting Gabrielle’s name to see if she would love him back. Each time the flower petals ended on a no, he would crush the flower, stomp on it and pick a new one, confessing his disturbing love to her before plucking off the petals of a new flower.“Oh, Gabrielle! What sweet rosy cheeks you have, all the better for me to bite into them when they are ripe! They were pink when you were a babe. They were red when you had a fever. I wonder if they’d bleed if I bit them… would you cry in pain and fear? It makes me so excited to think about it! Just wait a little more, my angel. You’d soon be an adult, and we could finally be together!”Disgu