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Do It Himself
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2023-09-12 08:36:25“Gobo?”
“Gobo! Gobo-bo!”Gathered around a fire in the middle of the goblin’s main camp under the stars, the hobgoblin and his shaman advisers listened to the new scout leader report his information. Whoever this halfling was, he was rather capable. Unfortunately, the hobgoblin hated tainted blood. There was no way they would accept a half-bred loser into their camp of elites.“Gobobo gork!”Raising their weapons, the goblins who heard their leader’s decision cheered. After the frustrating appearance of an elusive hero who always fought in circles, they were finally one step ahead of him!Thrilled that Zen’s plan worked in their favour, the scout leader couldn’t stop grinning. That halfling worked hard to find critical information for them after receiving meagre hunts from the forest. While that starving child was eating scraps, he would be promoted to lead the way for the future.With the new
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Flabbergasted, the Shady Merchant could not believe the story Zen told him. It was the first time in his career that he met an adventurer who refused to engage in battles if there was another route. The system administrators made exceptions for this lad, and he could finally understand why. Zen was an utter nutcase but a brilliant one!“I guess this completes Baron Leron’s museum collection.”Apart from the [Pound] Skill from the quest completion reward, Zen finally learned the name of the goblin-obsessed noble. It was weird for the game to keep such an important lore NPC’s name hidden until now. Even the guards on duty had their names on display! He almost thought the Baron’s last name was Stoneberry or something.“Glad to be of assistance,” Zen laughed falsely.Now that the main war was over, he no longer had to pretend to be a filthy half-goblin. Dumping the spare goblin chain armour with the Shady Merchant as a
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The sentry guard on duty eyed Zen doubtfully. The letter was indeed written by Commander Gunter with the official stamp from their Baron. However, believing this was the backup the main camp sent was still difficult. Venedict was the only reason the sentry guard gave this kid the benefit of the doubt.“Please wait here. I’ll bring your letter of recommendation to Sir Rowan.”Sir Rowan? Zen looked at Venedict for an explanation. There was nothing mentioned in his special quest notes.Answering the questioning looks, the mercenary bodyguard explained that Sir Rowan was an old retired knight who served three generations of the Baron’s family.“He taught our current Baron swordsmanship during childhood, but it didn’t work out. Ever since the war against the goblins, he volunteered to return to arms and guard our flank with minimal manpower. He might be retired and frail now with slight difficulty seeing and hearing, but Sir Rowan i
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After two draws and one loss, Zen wanted to dig a hole in the soil and bury himself. Despite his best efforts, Sir Rowan casually defeated him with minimal movement. It was difficult to launch an attack against an excellent defence. Sir Rowan’s King piece never moved a single step from the baseline, and Zen had to exhaust every piece he had to clear an open path. Yet, with mere pawns, the experienced knight managed to push him back to base.“I’m sorry that I’m lacking,” Zen bowed meekly in his chair.Instead of laughing at the young, foolish thing, Sir Rowan hummed thoughtfully. He had played many strategy games with all kinds of people. Usually, it was easy to understand a person’s character from their actions. There were ambitious people, cautious people, timid people, uncertain people, brainless people, rash people and even murderers. The old knight was usually able to identify those traits straight off the bat. However, the child Gun
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Thanks to the fast-forward option in the virtual dungeon, Zen watched the war between Stoneberry Keep and the hobgoblins in the first wave of the goblin invasion within two minutes. Who knew his side quest would turn into a simple game of simulated chess, reflecting an actual battle?Ping![You are victorious and have successfully defended against the Goblin Invasion Wave 1. You have been awarded 20 leadership Points.]Now, that was fast! Compared to the main quest, Zen might be able to complete the side quest quicker. The cut scene showed Sir Rowan using Zen’s tactic to bait ten hobgoblins from their spot to the boundaries of the Keep, where they were ambushed and killed. It was a battle without mercy, as all ten hobgoblin warriors were eliminated. Yet, Zen couldn’t help but wonder how these warriors could take down ten hobgoblins. Venedict fought with one, and they seemed rather tough. It was the reason why Gunter was unable to win the war head-on.
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Ping![You are victorious and have successfully defended against the Goblin Invasion Wave 2. You have been awarded 20 leadership Points.]Claiming his reward, Zen wondered how he would survive the third wave. Even Venedict looked grim when the scout reported the latest findings. It didn’t matter if they had the information ahead of time. The enemy’s firepower was nothing to sneeze at. Apart from the brutes who wounded many fine swordsmen, the goblins introduced catapults. It was a horrifying prospect with so many wounded while those monstrous machines lurked in the distance.There were simply too many chess pieces on the enemy’s side that it seemed ridiculous to continue the war game. Zen stared at the ten pawns, five bishops and three castles on the enemy’s side of the board. Compared to his measly pawn, horse and rook, anyone could tell at first glance that this was an impossible game. Yet, the game developers created this side quest for a re
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For five virtual days, Zen toiled like no tomorrow. There were simply too many things to do, even with his squad of assistants. Thankfully, if there was one thing the gamer was proficient at, it was exploiting in-game ‘features’. Thanks to that, he managed to get everything done ‘on time’ for the third wave.Game developers should know better than to provide free labourers for Zen. Due to his special chain quest, the non-combatant could somehow take Venedict and the soldiers down to the first floor, where he made them hunt countless slimes for the quest and his personal benefit. He loved how inventory limit wasn’t a thing and spent most of his time making salves, crafting monocular goggles, and creating pepper bombs.The monocular goggles were tricky to create, so Zen had Ben’s help to smelt some glass from sunglasses wearing mushroom variants that he coated with green slime goo to prevent fogging. Then, he borrowed Paul’s wo
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Despite listening to the scout’s intel, nobody knew what to prepare. The previous strategy worked very well against the catapults and brutes. Even if they tripled the number from the previous wave, Stoneberry Keep would not fall. Yet, one undetermined factor threw a wrench in their works.What was a goblin mage? How was it different from a goblin shaman?“I bet it’s just an upgrade,” Venedict scoffed. “A more powerful shaman.”Unimpressed, Sir Rowan gave the mercenary the stink eye for stating the obvious. Zen simply ignored him. They couldn’t test the mage’s ability to know what it could do. The paranoid strategist wondered if Baron Leron knew anything about a goblin mage and sent a letter to the goblin-obsessed scholar. Yet, nobody knew anything useful about the potential threat. The only hint Zen received about magicians was from the drunken priest Lorren.“According to him, magicians specialise in one of t
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As the cut scene started, Zen could no longer give out commands. He relayed the plan once to Sir Rowan and his subordinates. However, the gamer had no idea if they would be able to pull off such a complicated plan. There was no direct fighting involved in this battle. Instead, he would manipulate the terrain to their advantage, assuming he could lock the magician in place.The first stage included a little theatrics to set the atmosphere. As war drums and horns sounded from both armies, the sharpshooters and soldiers started travelling to their assigned spots. Nobody moved from their spot as catapults launched false attacks.The goblin army laughed at the human army’s failure to understand the range limits of their catapults when the rock-covered snowballs crashed in front of them, creating a large cloud of snow. They laughed for a long time until they realised how the cloud of snow wasn’t clearing up.From afar, Zen could not tell what the goblins were do
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Collecting the rewards for successfully defeating John’s cousin, the party members of Godly Food jumped into the portal leading to the next floor. Zen knew that the dungeon had different themes on every ten floors. The tenth floor of each themed stage would be different from the other stages in difficulty. It was why the vanguard team struggled with the twentieth floor’s boss. In addition to the stage mechanic’s difference, the final boss was also tougher to deal with. If not for the monstrous capabilities of the combatants, Zen doubted they could breeze through the first ten floors as quickly as they did.Anticipating a village or town vibe similar to the other floors from before, Zen was stunned to find himself in a rocky cave full of darkness. It had ominous vibes, and only Liu Feng moved confidently in the darkness. Everyone else minimised exploring further without a light source.“We’ll log out here,” Akiko informed Damian. “Y
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After entering the boss dungeon den, Zen shivered. It wasn’t similar to a wolf’s den. If anything, it appeared closer to an actual dungeon, as if someone had deliberately attempted to imprison the boss here. The stale smell of dogs and many broken chains of different sizes on the ground spoke volumes about John’s cousin.Unlike the short werewolf, who remained in his werewolf form constantly, the boss was a monster who could transform. Depending on the moon cycle, it could be a violent and bloodthirsty monster or a broken man who lived in constant fear and misery of his curse.“He changes according to the moon cycle once the rampage begins,” Akiko explained. “I took a while to figure out how to kill him, even on the first run. He’s immune to damage on a blood moon. We need to finish it as soon as possible.”With a full party participating in a boss battle, Zen had faith they could conclude it before even the blood moon p
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Finally approaching the final boss’s cave, Zen wondered if the storyline would change because they had let Han murder John brutally. His body had been hacked into pieces and scattered around the rotting forest. The maggots would get to it soon and reduce it to bones. Yet, the cruel butchering session remained fresh in Zen’s mind.Everyone in the party knew that feeling all too well. Having lived in the underworld, they sympathised with Zen, who had lived like a civilian his whole life. Although not everyone participated directly in the act of murder, they knew what it meant to take a life. Even Damian had seen it happen. He knew how to interrogate for information and was quite adept at the craft when required.“Don’t think too much about it,” Liu Feng was the first to break the silence. “He wasn’t even real. This is a game designed by the Godfather to find the next successor. It’s just another test.”Even if it wer
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After listening to the story about John, Laura’s expression hardened. “That son of a bitch!” she spat. “How dare he prey on my granddaughter! Where is he now?!” Slightly terrified by the murderous aura, Zen reported that Sasha and Damian had the werewolf at Gabrielle’s hut. Mai had been ripping him a new one each time he regenerated. The girls had been doing a great job of making him miserable. Han was already there. “I can’t believe I’m last at the party. That wolf deserves to die. Even death is too cheap a price to pay after what he did to my husband and son.” For once, Zen agreed. Even if John was merely a character in the game, he deserved death. The fact that the game administrators did not grant John invulnerable stats meant that it was possible to kill the cousin of the floor boss. While waiting for Laura to pack her ‘tools’ and herbal surprises, Zen approached Liu Feng and thanked him for accompanying them. In real time, it was already past regular l
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Studying advanced herbalism from Laura took more time than Zen expected. Thankfully, the game had a way of providing cheats for him. Instead of cramming all the knowledge into his head that would give him a splitting migraine, it provided a useful guidebook that would prompt him on what a particular herb does upon location and what combinations he could use it for with other known herbs. The problem was, to truly master this skill, he had to pass the final test. Laura’s pop quiz only had ten questions. However, there was a timer. While Zen could attempt it infinitely, there were thousands of herb combinations to remember. Not having any formal education in either of his past lives, the young chef faltered. “You may use anything in this cottage as a reference for your test,” Laura smirked. “All the best. I hope you won’t disappoint me.” Stressing over the best method to find what he needed, Zen tested a few things. Firstly, when Laura said that the new skill would inst
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While the other party members gathered the family members for a reunion, Zen and Liu Feng finally found Laura’s cottage after taking a wrong turn. Funnily enough, it was the Seer who pointed out how they had been going in a circle before Zen realised he had misinterpreted the map. Knocking on the cottage door, Zen waited with his sworn brother. From inside, he could hear someone coughing badly. “Who is it?” the cranky old lady hacked as she cracked open the door. Instead of seeing her sloppy son or nosy granddaughter, Laura saw a cute priest and a handsome, long-haired warrior. The new adventurers surprised her. Were they lost in the forest? “What do you want?” she asked briefly before launching into a new coughing fit. It was a particularly nasty cold that had persisted for a week now without any signs of recovery. Despite all the herbal medicine she made, Laura did not see any signs of improvement. Perhaps she was getting on in age. Smiling, Zen show
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It was a shame Zen was not with them. Sasha would have gone for a few more rounds, using the cowardly werewolf as a punching bag after Zen healed him. The more they dug information out from the pervert, the worse Sasha’s temper was. Damian did not stop her. The draconian needed somewhere to vent her anger, and it was best for it not to come his way. In truth, the cyborg felt a little sorry for Gabrielle, even if she were just a fictional character created for this virtual dungeon game. The cowardly cousin of the floor boss was no different from lowly thugs borrowing the influence of their powerful relatives to cause mayhem. Whimpering in fear and pain with his tail tucked in between his legs, the werewolf defect who could not transform into a human no matter the moon cycle kept a close eye on Sasha. Under the watch of the merciless draconian female, there was nowhere for him to run. He told them what they wanted to know and was alive for now. Given how tightly they w
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Using hand gestures, Sasha signalled the countdown and Damian prepared his stunning spells silently. They only had one chance to catch the secret admirer off guard. Whatever he was doing was disgusting enough. Han wasn’t lying about the obsession. The stalker werewolf was plucking flower petals and chanting Gabrielle’s name to see if she would love him back. Each time the flower petals ended on a no, he would crush the flower, stomp on it and pick a new one, confessing his disturbing love to her before plucking off the petals of a new flower.“Oh, Gabrielle! What sweet rosy cheeks you have, all the better for me to bite into them when they are ripe! They were pink when you were a babe. They were red when you had a fever. I wonder if they’d bleed if I bit them… would you cry in pain and fear? It makes me so excited to think about it! Just wait a little more, my angel. You’d soon be an adult, and we could finally be together!”Disgu
