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Chapter 30: Mariana
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2022-10-20 14:05:46Related chapters
Goalie Chapter 31: Santos
After ten years of playing professional soccer and fifteen years of my life before that, I thought cleaning out my locker would be hard. I thought it would be full of nostalgia and memories. Of course, I also thought it would be complete with pomp and circumstance from younger players congratulating me on my retirement and a career well done.Instead, it was just me, myself, and I tossing out old deodorant, notebooks of plays that have long since been revised, and team-owned gear to be disinfected and passed on to the next guy.It's an extremely underwhelming send-off, but it's right this way. Soccer had been my obsession for the majority of my life, but somewhere along the way, it had become my downfall. For that reason alone, I don't need it to be celebrated.Just like an alcoholic doesn't have a big drinking party to celebrate sobriety, I don't want a big party celebrating my attempts at rearranging my routines and patterns.To say my coach had been shocked by my immediate resignati
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 32: Mariana, Part 1
"I'm actually surprised to see you," Justin announces, as he closes his office door and we make ourselves comfortable on the couches.His office is pretty much how I pictured it: homey couch, a couple of chairs, bookshelf full of reference material. The only thing that kind of surprises me is that the chairs are recliners, but I can see how that would put some people at ease. It is a therapist's office after all."I know Santos said you were going to come in, but it's not that often that I see both the ex-husband and the ex-wife."I smile at him. I only met him a few minutes ago, but so far, I like him. He's handsome in a guy-next-door way. He's got a kind face and is dressed in jeans. It's more like I'm talking to a friend than to a therapist. No wonder Santos likes him."I figured Santos and I have to co-parent for the next seventeen years, so we might as well use the same person and stay on the same page for the kids. I mean, that's okay, right?" The thought crosses my mind that may
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 33: Mariana, Part 2
"Wait." I rub my temples as I try to make sense of it all. "You're saying Santos cheated on me for all those years because he might have a medical condition that exacerbates his stupid superstitions?""In a very basic nutshell, yes."I stare at him, mouth open. I want to hear what Justin is saying and having it all make sense… make it all this easy. Instead, it makes me mad. "I call bullshit.""Why?""Why?" I laugh, humorlessly. "Because we were married for ten years. He could have easily come home and gotten his 'medical condition,"' I sarcastically use air quotes, "… under control with me. But he didn't. He chose to go out and bang any groupie who was willing to spread her legs for him. No way. He made a choice. Every time.""I agree with you.""Good. Because there is no way I'm accepting that as an excuse." "I'm not asking you to. And I'm not making excuses for him. Regardless of how difficult the situation was, he had choices and he knew what he was doing."I nod and feel my anger
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 34: Santos, Part 1
Applications. Essays. Transcripts. I am up to my eyeballs in paperwork.I lean back in the chair and stretch my arms over my head, pretending not to notice Mari watching my shirt ride up showing a bit of my abs. I cover my smile by leaning my head back and stretching some more. It's a good feeling, knowing she's still attracted to me.As the front legs of the chair land back on the ground, I start watching what the kids are doing. Really watching. I know they've been playing together, but I was so lost in the spider web of online applications that I wasn't really paying attention to their game."What are they actually doing?" I ask Mari. She's sitting next to me at the table on her own laptop, some of her pictures on the screen.Without even looking up at them, she knows exactly what they're doing. "Playing the world's worst game of hide and seek."I focus my attention on the kids again and she's right. It is, in fact, the world's worst version of this game. I watch as Lina hides her e
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 35: Santos, Part 2
I'm immediately on guard, wondering what has her so upset. Mari, however, stays calm. "Theo pooped mom! He pooped! And it stinks! You need to change him," she demands."Why don't you change him?" she teases back.Myra crinkles up her little nose in disgust. "Ew, Mom. I don't know how to change a diaper.""Hmm. Maybe it's time you learned how," Mari suggests."Mooom. Come on," Myra pleads, the previous topic no longer up for discussion."I'll go," I say, rising to my feet. "If I don't get away from this computer for a little bit, I just may launch it across the room.""Thank you. He poops so much, my nose can no longer tell the difference between the smell of poop and baby wipes.""He got his constitution from his daddy!" I pat my belly and give her a big ornery grin."Yes, he does. Also, I can't believe you just said that, weirdo. His diapers should be in the diaper holder next to the bed. If it's empty, check under his crib."I walk by the girls' room and see Theo standing with his ha
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 36: Santos, Part 3
"Babe, I don't know which brand we decided to get. Was it Pampers or…" As soon as she sees us, Tiffany stops in her tracks next to Rowen. He reaches for her and tucks her under his arm as she looks at us, wide-eyed.None of speak. We all just stand there, looking at each other. I put my arm around Mari's waist. I don't know if I do it in a show of possession or to show her my support. What I do know is that this is one of the reasons I quit the team. Scenarios like this. My mistakes are putting Mari in an extremely uncomfortable position and I'm not sure what to do. So I wait.Eventually, Mari takes a big breath and speaks. "Pampers Swaddlers are really good when they're first born. Do you guys have a Sam's Club membership?""Um… no," Tiffany sputters quietly."I would recommend getting one. Diapers are a lot cheaper there, and if it's a boy, the only diapers that hold Theo overnight is the Sam's Club brand.""Oh. Okay.""So how far along are you?" Mari asks, surprising all of us whe
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 37: Mariana, Part 1
"Uncle Marcus, Uncle Marcus!"I smile when I hear the girls racing to greet him and Theo finally catching up yelling what sounds like "Unca-Muck". I gave Marcus the apartment key for emergencies. Apparently babysitting so I can go out is an emergency.But it keeps me from having to go to the door in my robe, so I have no reason to complain.Slowly, so I don't accidentally poke myself in the eye, I swipe mascara over my top lashes. It takes a few minutes to make sure I get all the lashes. Those little ones on the side like to play hard to get.Finally, I stand back and look at myself in the mirror. Not bad. I'm not used to wearing so much make-up so the smoky-eye effect needs a little work, but overall I think I did a pretty good job. The lady at Ulta who did my makeover would be pleased.A low whistle comes from the doorway where Marcus is leaning, arms crossed. "Look at you all gussied up. Your make-up looks amazing.""So I did it right?""Yep. You're getting a lot better at putting i
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Goalie Chapter 38: Mariana, Part 2
"So how was China? Did you do a lot of sight-seeing?"Tom and I sit opposite each other at Akashi, a local sushi restaurant. It's been a long time since I've had sushi and I don't really remember if I like it. But with my new life comes trying new things. So here I am, drinking sake and ordering a couple of different rolls just to see what I think."I didn't have as much time as I wanted. I was in charge of hiring and training all the new employees and getting it done as quickly as possible. Most days I worked twelve hours or more.""Seven days a week?" "Yep." He takes a sip of his sake and wipes his mouth with his napkin. "I wanted to get back home as soon as possible. Being away from my kids for nine weeks was rough. I didn't want to extend my stay.""I'm sure. Did you get to talk to them at all while you were gone? What with the time difference?""We Skyped a few times, but the reception isn't that great. The screen would freeze up often. That part was irritating, but it turns out
Last Updated : 2022-10-20
Latest chapter
Goalie Chapter 61: Santos, Part 2
Her eyebrows crinkle in question. "Why are you thanking me?"Releasing her hand, I brush her hair out of her face and stroke her cheek. "I was so sure I had everything. I was cocky and arrogant and took it all for granted." I stop to clear my throat as the emotions sets in. "You jarred me out of my comfort zone and forced me to see myself for what I really was.""Santos…" she pleads."No," I interrupt. "Let me finish. I thought I was the strong one in our relationship, the backbone. But I wasn't. You were the strong one. You were always the strong one. And I took it for granted."I draw her closer to me and we press our foreheads together. "You forced me to see the reality of what I was doing and who I was. I didn't like what I saw, but I needed to see it. So thank you. Thank you for forcing me to be honest. With you. And with myself. I never want to go back to that place again. I never want to be that guy."Pulling away, I wipe the tears from Mari's cheeks while she wipes away mine.
Goalie Chapter 60: Santos, Part 1
I've been staring at the ceiling for I don't know how long. All I know is that I haven't been this comfortable in, probably ever.I'm in bed on my back, one arm behind my head, and a very naked Mari snuggled up on me, head nuzzled into that place between my shoulder and neck, her arm over my chest, our legs intertwined. It's the post-coital position I never thought I'd experience again. Yet here I am, drawing circles on her lower back as she drifts in and out of consciousness.Me, though, I'm wide awake. Sated, but awake. And I can't stop thinking about what Mari said earlier about being content.People always talk about chasing their happiness, but what if that's the root of most relationship problems? What if that's been part of my problem? What if there is so much pressure to be happy, when happiness isn't something you can be every minute of every day anyway? What if being content, with lots of sprinkles of happiness, as Mari describes it, is actually a healthier, more realistic go
Goalie Chapter 59: Mariana, Part 2
Santos chuckles and puts his arm around me while I bury my face in his neck. "Babe. Don't be embarrassed. You were right to force the issue. It was great.""I'm gonna stop you right here for a minute," Justin interjects. I look up at him. "Mari, a long time ago you and I had a conversation about how frustrated you were because Santos refused to get adventurous at all and you were tired of being treated like a fragile object. Do you remember that?""Yeah. I remember you saying it was an argument you and your wife have sometimes."He smiles. "It's true. As men, we aren't always that great at being in tune with our partners' wants and needs. Sometimes you have to spell it out for us.""She definitely spelled it out for me," Santos interjects. "Is that true?" Justin asks me.I nod. "Good for you. You spent a lot of years passively doing what Santos wanted, so to hear that you took charge of what you wanted, of what you felt was right for your relationship, really shows your own personal
Goalie Chapter 58: Mariana, Part 1
"You guys look happy," Justin says as he closes the door behind us. He's been our therapist for a couple of years, so he can read our moods pretty well.Santos sniggers. "We are very, very happy."My face heats up as I take my normal seat on the couch. "Really?" Justin plops down on his overstuffed chair. He's not a normal, stuffy therapist. He's relaxed, which normally makes me relaxed. Not today, however. Today, the topic of sex is going to come up and that makes me nervous. "Sounds like something good happened."Santos takes my hand in his and looks at me, a loving smile on his face. "Yeah. Something good happened."And there it is. My face is flaming since we're having this conversation in front of Justin. He's our therapist and I shouldn't be embarrassed for him to know that we've rekindled our sex life. But somehow it feels more intimate than when we were married. Maybe because the act itself is what caused the demise of our marriage in the first place. So to get back to this pl
Goalie Chapter 57: Santos
I blink at her once.Twice.Three times.I'm not sure I heard her correctly."I… what?"She smiles at me. "Santos, I love you. But I want our sex life to be different this time. I want to be adventurous and playful and fun. Yes, there are times I want you to make love to me. But there are times I want you to fuck me, too. I want to count how many orgasms you can give me and see if I can ever make you come twice in a row."My eyes quirk up. I didn't even know that was possible.She shrugs playfully. "I've been reading up on a few things." She turns around and saunters over to the couch, turning to look over her shoulder. "So I'm just gonna come over here while you decide. The adventure either starts right here, right now. Or we wait. Until you're ready to give me what I want."My eyes drink her in as she bends over the couch, still in her heels and garters, ass facing me. Her perfect pink pussy is swollen and wet. She's ready. For me. It suddenly hits me that her naked ass is waiting f
Goalie Chapter 56: Mariana, Part 2
I take a bite of my own food as I contemplate my answer. "I'm not asking because I'm in an emotional, girly, please-let-him-give-me-the-right-answer kind of mood. Since we're having this weird conversation anyway, I'm just genuinely curious."He takes his time, swallowing, putting down his utensils, wiping his mouth with his napkin. Finally, he leans forward, elbows on the table. "The last time I had sex was the last night we were together. At the conference."My eyebrows shoot up. "Redesigning Your Marriage conference?"He nods. "But that's before we were even divorced.""I know.""That was almost two years ago.""I know that, too."That's not the answer I expected. I thought he would have at least had a fling or two after the divorced was finalized."That doesn't mean I've been a saint, Mari." I see guilt in his eyes. It makes me sad for him, to see him disappointed in himself. I say nothing, just take small bites of my food as I wait for him to continue."It was only one time. But…
Goalie Chapter 55: Mariana, Part 1
The conversation in the laundry room is never far from my thoughts. All day long, no matter what we're doing, I keep coming back to it.He's having wet dreams.He's having wet dreams about me. I try really hard to stifle the smile that keeps trying to come out. But he would know how giddy I am if I smile that big, because no one smiles while cleaning a kitchen. Especially when you have a three-year-old who likes to paint with peanut butter on the cabinets. Yeah, Theo is proving to be a more ornery child than we first thought.But not even peanut butter paintings can spoil this mood. Santos has always made it clear that his infidelities were not because of me. It had nothing to do with my body. It had nothing to do with my personality. It was all him and his own insecurities, combined with a bunch of other things he had to learn to manage. But in the back of my mind, I've never been able to shake the question - am I enough?Finding out he's not only having sex dreams, but wet dreams a
Goalie Chapter 54: Santos, Part 2
"Mari?" I race into the room and drop down beside her. "Mari, are you okay? Are you hurt?" I look over her frantically, trying to see if she's injured."I can't believe this is happening again," she whispers."What? What's happening again?" She refuses to make eye contact with me, which causes me to panic even more."After everything we went through," she cries. "After everything we've tried to rebuild, it's happening again. I'm so stupid!" she yells and throw my shirt at me.I'm so confused. "What are you talking about? What happened?""This happened!" She grabs the shirt back out of my hands and shows me the bottom of it. It's crusty and stiff. I feel my face heat up."Um, yeah." I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed that this conversation is about to take place. "That's not what it looks like."Her eyes narrow as she glares. "I was married to you for a long time, Santos. I know what your fucking semen looks like." She shoots up off the floor and begins pacing. "Did you go to anoth
Goalie Chapter 53: Santos, Part 1
I hear her before I see her. Okay, that's not right. I hear the kids get excited as she walks through the room. She always greats them with a smile and kiss, even if her eyes are barely open. I love that about her.Stirring the scoop of hot chocolate I just dumped into her coffee, I turn around. The sight at the island makes me smile.Mari and Lina are both sitting on stools, head resting on their arms, still not quite awake. My two girls are not morning people."Coffee?" I slide it her direction, and she immediately grabs it and takes a sip."Mmm. Thank you." She sips again and shifts on her seat. "I love a man that knows how to doctor my coffee in the morning."I lean over and give her a quick kiss before pulling out the fancy waffle maker we got for Christmas."Mickey Mouse waffles?" she asks with a smile."Lina has been talking about them for days. Right, Lina?""Hrmph." I chuckle. It's the only answer we're going to get from her for at least ten more minutes. "You know tonight's
