"If Santiago is out of the picture, who is the..." he doesn't finish his sentence, just waiting for me to fill it up.
"I picked a donor last week."
He suddenly removes his black suit jacket and places it on his lap, then rids his cuff links that's engraved with OH, putting them in the pocket of his slacks. The neck tie was loosened, then the top two buttons of his dress shirt were made undone.
Sensing the rising temperature of the man sitting next to me, I quickly add, "I never thought it'd be so much fun shopping for a sperm donor. Green eyes, blonde hair, six feet four. Do you know that green eyes are dominant compared to my blue eyes? My baby's gonna have green eyes!"
He does't say
Cleo rushed home the second I replied her text asking for my whereabout. I wanted to blow up at him so bad, giving a piece of my mind but I'm fully aware that I'm trying my best to limit negative energy during times like this that's why I left, and took deep breaths until my bestie's home for me to pour everything out.For the next few hours, despite her presence as my personal clown, I'm still bothered by what happened with Owen so right after my shots, I decided to call it a night and head to bed.Yep, those two shots still hurt like a bitch. And my visit to the doctor today wasn't fruitful because she had to postpone it last minute due to personal issues so I have to come back tomorrow for the ultrasound.But from the result I received at the last check up, my ovaries are releasing five eggs each, making it a tot
"Cleo texted me to be here before 10."We spent an hour on the couch last night, which I remember word by word how he confessed he's still feeling uncomfortable to be with me because of this IVF but at the same time he promised he would never abandon me again so he'll try his best to be with me the most he can.I didn't think it'd be this soon. Like in less than 12 hours since the talk soon.Last night when I was already asleep, Cleo woke me up around 2 a.m., breaking down because her husband met with an accident at London. It wasn't major according to Mr Montgomery's assistant but she was in a mess that I had to pack all her stuffs while she so
It was awkward, to go from yelling at the top of your lung in the restroom of the fertility clinic to walking next to each other with a cheerful four year old in between.It didn't get any better as the day progressed when we barely said a word to each other, but still remained together throughout the day. As planned, we picked up Pao after the appointment, had lunch, then did the grocery shopping.We came home to drop the groceries while waiting for Pao to finish her ballet class. I hid in my bedroom as he entertained himself out there doing God knows what, until it's almost 4 when he knocked softly on the slightly opened door."Are you asleep?" He asks in a low tone, trying to keep his voice down in case I'm napping.I don't answer him, shutting my eyes tight to preten
"I need something to distract me." I announce once I stand in front of my bedroom door, staring at him who seems to be taking the word mi casa es tu casa very seriously.He's sitting lazily on my couch with a beer bottle on the coffee table, a hand is dipped in the popcorn bowl while another is hidden in the throw blanket -don't ask me what's it doing in there-, definitely enjoying himself while watching a movie. An action movie by the looks of it, not some hand-in-the-blanket kinda movie."I need something to distract me," I repeat, "I keep on thinking about what happened at the clinic. Thinking all of the if's. Bad if's. I can't sleep, Owen. Distract me." I sigh loudly but he smiles then
Have I mentioned how stubborn I am? Or the abundant milestones I've achieved in my life from that stubbornness?Done with all ten stimulation injections, also with the ultrasound, the blood work, and just a few hours ago my doctor shared how both my follicles are in eggcellent condition that she agreed, or rather surrendered to my stubbornness to proceed with the trigger shot."Yay! I did it! I did it guys!" I shout in joy in front of the laptop, videocalling my besties.The girl besties, since the gay guy bestie is currently sending his daughter home; Pao thr
"Did you just-"He doesn't have to answer me nor for me to complete that question because I've known this man for more than ten years now, and I've seen this look a million times before so yes, yes he just finished in me after what felt like ten pumps. Or less.The kiss. That's how everything started; the kiss. We were kissing. A lot.And my hands. Oh my God my hands.My hands definitely had their own mind when they crept to the hem of his shirt, rolling it up that when it reached his chest, we involuntarily pulled our lips apart so he could remove that piece of clothing.I should've used that two seconds to reflect what I just did, enc
I can hear clearly the cheerful voice along with a laughing sound from the other side of this door. Sighing, I open the main door of my apartment as the owner of the cheerful voice jumps off the chair and runs to me, "Tiaaaaaaa!"He's standing on the other side of the kitchen island, right where he was when he came in me last night. Not laughing anymore, just looking at me the way I am at him.Urgh, the thought of having his sperm swimming in my body is making me mad right now. Why did we go to that road. Have we learned nothing from all the IVFs we did before?"Where did you go?" She asks, pulling my hand towards the kitchen, "We cooked breakfast for you!"I really don't have the energy to entertain Pao so I keep looking at her papa that's still in the same outfit as la
"Tia...""Hmm?""Are you my sister?""Ha?" I stop munching my omelette as I turn to the little girl sitting next to me.We're very much aware of Pao's jealousy towards her friends about having a sister since she's been the only girl in the house since she was born but to consider me who's old enough to be her mom as an elder sister is a bit much."Why would you ask that?"Owen who is sitting to her left is also looking at her, obviously as curious as me."I heard you call papa Daddy last night," I cough the content in my mouth as Owen tries to hide his laugh, "Amy calls her papa Daddy. Levi calls her papa Daddy. Micah too. Are you my s
👱🏻 "We shouldn't do this, Owen." At this rate I'm just gonna agree to anything she says because tomorrow night she'll be here again, asking for another dose of release. We're in a toxic cycle alright, but we're definitely communicating healthily. I listen to her rant about the guilt she has for coming over to my room almost every night, but she can't help it because according to her, her judgement is currently being clouded with hormones. And I do talk to her as well, opening up about my hope that we unite as a couple, for ourselves and also for our daughters. But she asks for time, since she's still in therapy so she could be heavily influenced by the drugs she's taking daily. We function as best friends from day to day, co-parenting our kids in this apartment, though I do plan sometime in the future to convince her about all of us moving back to my place, to where it all began. "Do you want me to stop?" I ask her after she whines a couple more times. She bites her lips as sh
👱🏻's POV"Papa, can I eat this banana?" Pao asks when I was still supervising Iva gobbling the steamed broccoli, since we're going with baby-led weaning."Are you sure you wanna eat it? Can you take a smaller banana? You just ate dinner, it's too big I think. You wouldn't be able to finish the whole thing. Why don't you grab a smaller one on the counter, hm Princesa?"She turns to Estelle that is still eating her food, "Mama, is this banana too big?""Nahh, it's average." She answers nonchalantly to which I put my hand on my chest, "Ouch. That hurts." Because that banana is the size of my ding dong.She laughs once she realises what she just said, "It is what it is, Papa."
🧑🏼's POVHugo has moved to Barcelona three months ago so we're officially living in one place since then.Yes, we. Including me, the father of these girls.Iva is seven months old now so she has started eating solid food last month. That means she's sleeping better and longer, also drinking milk lesser making both of us much more relaxed since she's only up during the day and sound asleep the entire night.Which only means..."Where are you going?" I ask her when she comes out of her room dressed in an off-shoulder red dress that hugs her curves perfectly. Her boobs look hella amazing with a deep cleavage showed through the
👱🏻's POVShe gives birth to our daughter at the mark of her 39th week of pregnancy after spending nearly two weeks at the hospital, arrested for bedrest all thanks to me and my stupidity.Me, of all people, know how high risk is her pregnancy but of course I have to screw it up by being immature myself for her immature actions. I should've shut up instead of screaming at her when she was obviously scared, her whole body trembled with blood drained from her face. I fucking owe it to her if anything happens to our daughter.Thankfully we're blessed with a healthy dark-haired, clear blue eyes baby girl, or should I say, she gave birth to a mini her. I'm officially a father to three girls.I make it possible to fly her best friends as soon as possible and pla
"How far along are you?"The fact that this would be the first time he has ever said anything to me since the fight makes me stop drinking my water as I put down the glass on the hard surface in front of me, finally taking the whole view of the man I didn't share the bed with last night. Instead, I cried like a pathetic human being on the couch while talking to my best friends.Well, just two more nights then he can relieve his duty to Kimmie since she's wrapping up her work to be here with me until delivery.As of last night's video call, I'm instructed to engage with my psychologist first thing in the morning because according to her, "This is a cry for help, exactly like five years ago. Call her, set an appointment, talk to her before you become suicidal again
I really don't wanna leave work when the clock hits 6, wanting to delay as long as I can by pretending I need to finish up everything though in reality, all those can wait. Time goes so slow until I've had it with my back pain so I packup and leave the office. If he stays, he stays. If he doesn't, so what. Life goes on. Afterall, I never wanted to be with him after the baby's out. It's just me and my girls. As expected, he's not home when I unlock my place at 10. I don't have the appetite to eat because all I want to do once I realise he really isn't home is to lie on the bed and hide under the blanket. It's pathetic of me to look for him at every corner after what I did. I literally sent him away in a silver platter. I drop my bag on the floor then go under the duvet without minding my work clothes, covering my
"Pao, can you tell Papa again what you just told me?"The man who just returned from his morning jog stops drinking his water immediately, eyeing his daughter who's busy making a bead necklace with Mia at the kitchen island."Hmmm? Which part?" She asks, still focusing on her art."The boy part.""Boy?" I knew he'd react this way, "What boy? Why? What happened? And which boy is this? Do I know him? What happened, Pao?""Relax, he didn't do anything." I jump in before he over-reacts further making all of us uncomfortable."Yeah, he just kissed me." The little girl answers nonchalantly to which his Papa raises his voice in shock, "What?!"
"Be honest, do I look pretty?"I have this important meeting today at the office so I'm hoping my pregnancy won't be the spotlight. My work should be, as always. I sometimes hate how I get special treatment just because I'm pregnant, or the fact this is my first baby after ten years. I'm not fragile, I'm just pregnant.I mean, yeah, thank you for being sensitive. But I can work just fine. Stop asking me to go home when it's only 4. I'm capable to stay until late evening, just as I've been doing every Monday and Tuesday for the past seven months."You want me to be honest or to tell you pretty?"I can't believe he had the audacity to joke like that when I'm all serious this morning.He grins perhaps finally catching the invisi
Have you ever done something stupid which afterwards when you've recovered from the high, you now feel the cringe every time you remember the bits of it?I wish I didn't sleep with him last night.I wish I thought about it, and said no instead of diving into it. Though I did say no, I was just weak; incapable to decline his charm. I mean, who'd say no to a fine specimen like that, someone who you've been fantasising for a while now.I wore his shirt for a reason, and why would I settle for the shirt if I can have the man himself. Why would I smell the shirt to feel him when I can have him right inside me, filling me to the brim.I've spent the entire day at the office thinking