GRIPPED UPON SECRET.

The full moon had been out.

It shined brighter than normal as if bringing light to what was meant to be kept in the dark.

The Midnight hour, it couldn't be more perfect.

To him, the time felt both right and wrong.

For the first time in his life, he felt conflicted about what he was about to do. Any other day and there wouldn't be an ounce of hesitation, that would have been the last thing on his mind.

It didn't take twice to think before ending a life.

A life, what was that nowadays?

It had been too long since he'd considered saving a life, not because he couldn't but none seemed worthy to be saved. No amount of begging for mercy moved him, especially on days when he was in the worst of moods.

He fed off the fear that many experienced at the sight of him. It was a fear birthed from the stories about him. He never started no rumours or the stories but whoever did, happened to do him a favour. He didn't have to announce himself but his shadow alone brought nightmares to many, along with the mark he left on a victim, all that was his handy work.

A treasure in sight.

Moving from one place to another was his thing, something close to a norm. It was his style. However all that seemed to change slightly, his feet found themselves returning to one specific place and the reason laid peacefully in his arms.

Time had not permitted for him to do that often, hold the little one in his arms.

He was too dark, a nightmare and the one whom instilled fear unimaginable.

He knew they had every right to keep the existence of the little one hidden from him, knowing who he was and what he possessed. It was too dangerous and that was part of the problem.

A small part of him understood but did he listen? No.

His curiosity got the best of him and now there they were.

Regret was one of the worst things, among many, according to him. It didn't strike him often like others but when it did, in a rare occasion, it was painful. It struck him again and this time it was personal. He didn't want it to be but fate, which he didn't believe in so much, played a dirty game with him. Here he was, being forced to face things that he didn't want to face.

At some point it was like he was a prisoner in his own body and mind. He didn't like it so much, he felt compelled to face things such as forbidden thoughts and buried memories, not to mention the role of being just a little bit gentle when he knew not an ounce of it anymore.

The first time they met, he felt unsure, uneasy even.

They were complete opposites yet he was told that parts of him were present in her.

This made him even more curious for an answer to his question of 'which parts', and then he'd be gone once he got what he wanted, but that was a trap. He found himself linger a little longer around her, no more in search of an answer but to simply be in her presence.

It took a whole lot of negotiation for his first visit, to be a success. To not need permission anymore. It was strange to even seek for such a thing, knowing that he could get anything he wanted at anytime.

Power, authority, he had it and every thing else that linked to all that. It troubled him somewhat, when all that seemed to be thrown out the window when it came to her. The understanding part of him which was slim daily, knew what it meant if he showed up around her.

His very existence was one of the reasons many fought to keep them from meeting. It was a poor attempt, something that amused him ofcourse but still, he could acknowledge that they tried.

Staying away the first few times at the call of countless rejections, made it seem as if their efforts had resulted to something, but no. His unplanned appearance made them see how weak they were.

The fear had been present in the room when he'd showed up unexpectedly, with clear intention of seeing her. Instead of enjoyment, he felt irritated. They tried by all means to force him to his word of 'no harm' even when he meant no harm, unless something or someone crossed a line.

Distance was also demanded of him, which was laughable because no one had the right to even make such a demand apart from one person. The one who brought the little one into this world. It was unfortunate that she fell ill not too long after giving life, the same life he held in his arms.

'Lil moon.'

His hold tightened just a little as the name rang in mind.

It was a name gifted to her by him yet no one knew.

A name only he had the right to give and keep.

He had kept his distance as promised until curiosity got the best of him. He was meant to leave for good but he later returned, too soon. Everyone knew the sort of danger that surrounded him, especially him, but it almost didn't matter when he was around the little one. Nothing else mattered and for once, he indulged in the calmness that came from her presence.

His curiosity turned into obsession, one he could not fight off, not that he desired to do so.

He was told that showing up would cause problems for everyone but did he listen? No. For once he meant to solve what ever problem he caused, even if it cost him everything.

To do something right for once.

To do something right by her.

The little one bared no fault, despite the blood that ran through her veins. Still, she bared no fault.

It was like staring in the mirror, the similarity in their eyes was fascinating to say the least.

The innocent staring into the not so innocent.

Had it been any other day, they would have trembled in fear at the sight of him, pleading and praying even, that he spare them. Things however were different with her. She didn't have to experience fear while staring into his own. It was something he didn't want her to feel around him, that was part of the reason why he had to do this.

He had to let her go.

He let out a heavy sigh as he watched her, she was too tiny in his arms. There were many times when he'd been wary that he'd break her, he was just too strong. She was too vulnerable and fragile, something that would make the little one a target for many. He had to intervene, he was.

Her protector. He felt like one.

Ever since he learnt of her existence, he felt like one.

Those eyes, her heartbeat and warmth, they brought him to his knees and he didn't mind. She was worth being weak for.

She had the power to crack a part of that hard wall and make him feel, all the things he hated to feel. They were things he closed himself off from and it was almost unnatural, to let himself indulge in anything different than what he was used to.

Being around her made all that emptiness feel like a distant memory, when it was just the two of them. Anything else disappeared and it felt like a short lived memory.

Yes, that's what it was.

His lips pulled into a small smile as he watched her curiously. He let her have her way as this would be the last.

'My moon.' He claimed her as his in barely a whisper.

The sound of those words released from his own lips, didn't sound real in his ears.

' This doesn't have to be a goodbye you know.' The intrusion had not been welcome especially at a time like This, but it was needed.

He almost lost himself in the moment.

Time was not on his side, not that it ever was.

' No, I'm not. I was here this whole time. I decided to let you have your moment.' Jon said.

He was a friend or so he liked to claim.

'You mean I let you have your moment.' He retorted, disagreement already being voiced.

Jon chuckled, letting his comment go and not wanting to further annoy the man.

'So, let me ask you this and be aware that I'm asking for the last time. Are you --------'

' Why ask when you already know the answer?'

' Your actions say otherwise, that's why.'

'You're imagining things again.'

' Are you sure about this?' Jon asked again.

' This is the most I've been sure of anything.' His answer was different this time, matching his thoughts.

' Okay.'

There was a moment of silence before the man spoke up again, his eyes shining under the moonlight.

' I walk away first.'

Jon frowned a little. There was something to say about that but he bit down on his tongue, preventing his words from spilling.

Instead, he nodded.

Nicholas glanced down at the little one, letting his gaze linger a minute more before he handed the little one to his partner.

Letting her go felt like something was being torn from him but he fought hard to not show anything. The decision had been his, one made out of the little good that some claimed he possessed towards her.

'Anything you want to say?'

'Later on, when the time is right, let her know that she was in someone's thoughts. She was never abandoned.'

Those were the last words he said before he turned his back on them and left.

He walked away first, just like he'd said he would, taking with him what he truly wanted to say.

' You are a beautiful life.'