Chapter Three

Yihai couldn't believe himself thinking this but he missed school. At least there he could meet more people his age and try and see if he could find a friend. Tho he didn't think he would find anyone like Jian. He missed his best friend.

Jian was really the best he could ever ask for, and Yihai wasn't even sure he deserved a friend like him.

He'd met him when they just moved to Hong Kong and he was enrolled in a new school. Yihai was an angry little child then (still is) that was always invited to the teacher's desk after every class to settle whatever trouble he'd caused.

He didn't know how it happened, but his memory of being close to Jian started when he pushed Jian out of his way because he was being to slow to pack his books into his power rangers themed bag and Yihai was extremely hungry and needed to go eat. The other male had fallen and scraped his knee on the edge of a chair.

He didn't cry but he looked pained, apologizing to Yihai for blocking his way. An apology that made the hungry boy feel extremely guilty that he stuttered out his own apology.

Somehow from there, they started hanging out and Jian had always tolerated Yihai's violent temper when it occurred whereas others ran from him.

Yihai however did promise to try and tone down his temper like a million notches down when one day when he was fifteen after a fight with his father about his career path. His old man had wanted, like every other business father, him to handle the family business right after college but Yihai wanted to do music.

They'd fought over it, his father telling him how very useless and trivial his dreams were, that he was just following the thrill of the current youth. That he would soon pass through that phase.

Yihai had been trying to convince him that it wasn't a phase. Tell that to the hundreds of sheets where he poured out his heart. Tell that to the feeling of accomplishment he got when he composed a new rap beat.

He'd gone straight to his second home; Jian's house, which was starting to feel like his real home anyway. They were alone and he was furious, his temper taking over him.

There was this ceramic figurine of a cat that was very heavy and Jian had gotten it from his mother. He treasured it so much. But violent Yihai didn't as he, out of anger, frustration and pain launched it randomly across the room. Tho it wasn't random as it got Jian's shoulder, dislocating it immediately.

The ceramic cat had shattered once it hit the floor, along with Jian who was holding his shoulder in pain, eyes squeezed shut. It was so severe they had to go to the hospital where Jian lied that he fell.

Yihai knows he doesn't deserve a friend like Jian who keeps up with all his shits no matter how much he'd hurt him. And he hurt him a lot because that day he took away important things from him.

That day Yihai took away two things;

The last gift of a mother to a son. And the dreams of someone who wanted to make it to the Olympics.

Jian had wanted to be a professional swimmer. He was in the school swim team and was undoubtedly the best they had.

But because of the severe dislocation, he had to drop out of the team and forgo his dreams because the doctor said it would be far more worse if he continued the sport.

Yihai still hasn't forgiven himself till this day. He promised himself that he wouldn't ever lose control again, even tho that was difficult to keep.

Maybe he didn't even deserve his own dreams, cos he took away another's.

No. Not maybe.

He did not deserve chasing his dreams.