CHAPTER 2

I stood up again.

I thought I was hearing things or my mind was playing tricks on me. But the faint sounds persisted, drawing me deeper into the garden. I stopped. What was I doing? Gosh. I needed a bath. My heart was still heavy. I began to walk back only to bump into someone. I looked up, and there he was – Tyler. 

What was he doing here? What the hell did he want? 

I couldn't bear to look at him, not after what I saw. I would either tear his face apart or break down crying rivers.

"I didn't expect to find you here," he said with an unserious voice.

That's what he wanted to say to me? After what he did? Fine. Cool. We'll play that game.

I gulped then shrugged, keeping my gaze away from him. "Guess you never really know where someone might end up when they're hurting." My voice shook but I tried to mask my nervousness.

He rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand, "I've been looking for you everywhere."

I chuckled sarcastically and then pressed my tongue against my cheek. "Of course you have, or you've been busy…busy making out with people other than me."

He sighed with a heavy breath. And then he surprised me. He reached out and gently turned my face to meet his gaze. "Lily, why did you go there? Without even asking for my permission?"

A bitter laugh escaped my lips as I pushed his hand away from my face. "Permission? When did I start asking for permission to visit you, Tyler?"

He wanted to talk but I didn't allow him.

"Is it wrong for your friend, or should I say girlfriend, to wish you a happy birthday on your special day?"

His grip tightened on my arm. "Lily, you know it's not what you think."

I shook my head, a dejected smile on my lips. "Tyler, I saw you with my own eyes. There's nothing left to say."

He released me, frustration flashing in his eyes. "You're not even going to let me explain?"

He wanted to explain. I laughed drearily in my mind. After I had caught him red-handed, it was hard to believe there was any plausible explanation. The pain I felt hung over me like a dark cloud, making it hard to even try to understand anything he would say.

When I looked at him, he seemed frustrated and sorry at the same time. It made me a bit sad. We had been close, and now things felt like they were falling apart, all at once. But his actions spoke louder than words, and in that moment, and right then, I needed to think about how I felt. All those years I had lived for him and thought only about what he wanted me to do, what he wanted us to be and how he wanted things to be done. I had never prioritised my own feelings and mental health, all in the sake of having a first true love. I doubted at that moment if it was ever even true love. But I knew I had sacrificed a lot for him. Enough of that. At that moment, I had to think about what was best for me.

"Explain…" I scoffed and crossed my arms, meeting his gaze with sadness and anger all over my face. "What's there to explain, Tyler? You've obviously made your choice."

He raked his fingers through his hair, something he normally did when he is frustrated. "It's not like that, Lily. Audrey… she's just a friend."

I scoffed again, disbelief evident in my tone. I was almost annoyed at that point. "Some kind of friend, huh? The way you were romancing her, it didn't look like you were 'just friends'."

His shoulders slumped, and he let out a defeated sigh. "Fine. I know I messed up," he admitted with a low and remorseful voice. "I never meant for things to turn out like this."

For a moment, I wanted to feel sympathetic for him and empathy tugged at my heart. But the hurt was still too fresh and the wound was too raw. "It's too late for explanations now," I said softly, looking down from his gaze.

Tyler let out a frustrated breath. "Lily, please, just listen."

I turned away, my heart aching. "I've heard enough, Tyler."

His voice softened, almost pleading. "Lily, please. Don't walk away like this."

I faced him again, my eyes heavy with unshed tears. "Tyler, I freaking trusted you. You know how much I did for you. You know how much I gave to be with you. Can you even remember?!"

I remembered how he and I used to run in the field when it rained, even though my parents would get upset with me for bringing him along. The memories flooded back, each one like a hammer and nail hitting through my heart.

I remembered how we would laugh until our sides hurt, how the sound of his laughter was the best melody I knew. I remembered the way he looked at me, like I was the only one in the world who mattered. The happy times we had felt so warm, but now the cold truth in front of me was very different.

I remembered the fights we had, too. The way we'd argue about the silliest things, only to make up with a heartfelt apology or a shared smile. I remembered the late-night conversations and all the secrets we shared under the moonlight after we'd go through so much hassle to sneak out of our rooms anytime he stayed at the grove.

But then, there was that one memory. The recent one I had tried to push away. The memory of catching him with her, the way they looked at and held each other. It broke the idyllic picture I had imagined in my head. All those beautiful memories were tainted by that one painful scene.

I wished I could forget. I wished I could erase that memory and all the others that now seemed bittersweet. To have a clean slate, a mind without the weight of what once was. But memories don't fade that easily, and I knew I had to find a way to carry them.

I blinked, tears hanging on my eyelids and then stepped back. "I gave you my heart, Tyler, and you broke it." I said with a broken voice.

He took a step closer, his eyes searching mine. "Lily, I'm so sorry."

Tears blurred my vision as I shook my head. "Sorry doesn't fix this, Tyler. I never want to fucking see you again."

I turned to leave, but his voice stopped me. "Wait."

I sighed and balled my fists, my patience wearing thin. "What now?"

Tyler took a deep breath as he stared at me. "Audrey is my second mate."

I froze, trying to let what he just said sink in. Second mate? That wasn't something I had expected. I didn't understand and it made me sadder and confused. "What? What does that even mean?"

He stepped closer with a pained expression on his face. "It means that I thought I had lost my chance with you. I thought you stopped feeling the same way. You know I chose you…"

My heart hurt so much. I felt both mad and a bit hopeful. But did what he said even make any sense? How would he lose his chance with me? I'd always made it known that he was the only guy I loved and ever wanted in the entire pack and literally everyone knew too. So, what kind of silly excuse was he giving? 

"Why would you think I stopped loving you, Tyler? Who told you that? Did I? And did you ever ask me? I've literally only ever liked you. You fucking know that! So what are you even saying now?!"

He took my hands in his, his touch warm against my skin. " I…" Of course, he didn't have the words to speak. What could he say? 

"Audrey… she's important, but not like you." He completely disregarded what I just said and said something more annoying.

"Oh, save it." I rolled my eyes and dragged my hand away but he held it again.

He gulped and stared down at me, "Lily, I'm telling you the truth. She's a connection, but you're the one I love."

I pulled my hands from his grip fiercely as my emotions were almost out of control. "You expect me to believe that?! After everything?"

Tyler's eyes pleaded with mine. "I know I messed up, Lily. But I can't change the past. I can only hope you give me a chance to make things right."

I stared at him, torn between my heart and my head. My feelings were all jumbled up inside and I was so unsure of what to do. 

Finally, I said, "I need time, Tyler. Time to process all of this, to think about everything. But I don't think I can ever forgive you. Not ever."

He looked like he didn't really want to try anymore. He just nodded and let go of my hand, like he was giving up.

"Fine." He said.

There was a brief silence between us before he spoke again.

"Actually," he began slowly, "I think... we should break up."

I felt surprised for a moment, even though deep down, I kind of saw it coming. Then, my surprise turned into anger. "Fine," I said in a huff, my voice sharp and frustrated.

I turned away from him, feeling like I needed to get away. The emotions inside me were too much to handle, and I didn't want him to see me cry. I turned and left, feeling really sad and mad. My steps felt heavy, like there was a weight around my ankles. He stayed behind and watched as I walked away.

I didn't want to look back but I did just once and yelled at him, 'Fine!' before running into the house.