I wake up to Robbie half-naked and asleep next to me. It wasn’t easy for him to let Sam go, and perhaps you never really let go of the person you fall in love with first. But when it comes to Robbie, I know he is worth waiting for and giving all my patience to. This luncheon with Sam will be hard for both of us. First, it will be Robbie letting go of Sam. It will mean I have to face my friend and tell her the news that Robbie and I are officially dating. It’s about time I can call him mine. He’s all I ever wanted. This luncheon will be difficult for all of us, but Robbie and Mark must meet. Once Robbie sees Mark and gets to know him, I hope that he’ll realize that he’s made the right choice but choosing me over Sam.
Robbie’s bare chest rises and falls with his exhale. As he inhales, his eyes open, and a smile appears on his jawline. That smile isn’t from Sam. It’s from me. I’ve put that good look in his eyes and that happi
The rest of the luncheon is awkward between Missy and me. I am not sure if Mark and Robbie have noticed. The minute Missy declared war against me and my feelings for her boyfriend was the moment I decided to cross the Rubicon. Like Caesar, the great Roman general, I to am willing to fight for what I believe in.If I can get Robbie alone to myself for one more private conversation, it will tell me everything I need to know. I want to hear it from his lips that whatever spark there was between us, whatever fire there has been, has been put out by him. Who does Missy think she is, telling me to back off? I understand that she has loved him for years and that perhaps she is being a little touchy on the matter. If I were in her shoes, I suppose I would be irritable and defensive about finally being with the man of my dreams. Come to think of it. I am not entirely sure why Missy is one of my bridesmaids. She was always more of Hazel's friend than mine. But Robbie would not look pro
"Why? Just tell me? Why did you read that?" I ask?I don't want Sam to know my thoughts. I read her diary back in middle school, and she got pissed. Back then, I wanted to know what was going on with her. Then, she would crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. I didn't question it. I just knew she needed someone to hold her as she cried.Her parents fought over the little things, food and money mostly. Her father tried to make her mother change her diet. It didn't end well. Well, intentions led to fights, arguing, and rumors of a divorce. The worst it got, the more I held Sam. I would hold her as the nightmares consumed her. That's when I fell for her. I didn't get to act on it until prom night. It was easier being friends. It was safer for both of us. If we meant something to each other, it would mean I couldn't hold her when she was scared."Because...I...love you," Sam says as her eyes find mine. She wasn't supposed to fall for me. I have Missy now, and
As Sam leaves the house, I rip the letter and burn it with a lighter in the fireplace. The last thing I need is for Missy to find it and to start asking questions. Letting Sam go hurts as much as a breakup. Even though we have never been a couple, it still hurts deeply within me. I lie on my bed, in the same spot I used to hold Sam when we were in our youth. I should have told her then that I loved her and wanted to be her boyfriend forever. I can still smell her hair if I close my eyes, the memory of her is beside me. The morning comes into my window. Missy has called me three times. I text her that I will go out to dinner with her. I need the day to collect my thoughts, for they are everywhere. Eating at my soul like a poisonous viper. The thing about vipers is they rattle their tails and prepare to bite down on their victims. That's how this breakup with Sam has destroyed me. We broke up, confessed our love, and gave each other up in our own way. Cupid doesn't want us to
He doesn't want me. My best friend has let me go. Maybe it's for the best, then why does it hurt like hell? I feel like I've been dumped, and I am getting married to a ghost. So why did I say yes to marrying Mark Lewis? I must have been out of my goddamn mind. Perhaps I liked the idea of Mark, he is, after all, a decent fellow, but I don't know him at all.Robbie doesn't like coffee and has it on rare occasions. Mark drinks his every day with milk and sugar. Robbie loves drinking beer. I don't know if Mark drinks. I have yet to see that side of him. I've slept with both of them, and it was terrific. But maybe that's what sex is, this fantastic feeling people have with each other to feel good and make babies. Being let go by Robbie really hurts. My stomach's in knots.I walk into my bathroom and force myself to throw up. Nothing hurts more than this. I've been rejected by my best friend, the one person I should have always been with. The person I want to hold me in the
For as long as I can remember, Robbie's been a friend. But right now, all I see are his many failings in the art of love. For starters, all he knows is the easy way. He's afraid of the challenge and avoids conflict at all costs. I can't say I'd blame him. But, with two beautiful women throwing themselves at him, I'd be confused too.But this is Samantha Laplow we are talking about. The best girlfriend he always wanted to kiss and hold. Not that it's my business to make him switch sides. They might be with other people, but it's my duty as his best guy friend to make sure he doesn't screw the pooch on this one. And all I can see are the many ways that Robbie Garvie is an idiot.If the woman of my dreams told me she loved me, I wouldn't turn her down. I would have kissed her and made love to her that night. Sam means the world to him. I can't let him forget that. I would never forgive myself if I let two of my friends in love pass each other by. They need an evening away
The last two days have sucked. I've put Sam behind me as much as I can. Missy has been clingy since the Italian restaurant. I've tried to give her grace about it. I know she's insecure that I will leave her. Her last boyfriend left her without a text or warning. I hope I don't turn out like him. If I ever did leave Missy or any woman, I would hope to do so honorably and to their face.My phone vibrates in my pocket. Since I abandoned Sam, I've felt empty and hollow. I haven't felt like myself, not for a few days. Missy has been concerned. I told her I didn't feel well to avoid questions. She thinks I have a stomach bug. I've been faking it and have been letting her take care of me.My phone continues to vibrate. I pick it up. I pray Sam's name doesn't appear. My rejected best friend, crying at my stupidity. My foolishness has sent her away. Her love for me pushed me away. We might be terrible together. Our friendship could end if this didn't work out, and Sam wouldn't
I wake with Robbie half-naked beside me. His muscles are toned even as he sleeps beside me. I've seen him rest beside me over the years when I would run away in the middle of the night into his arms. Only this is different; this is two adults after sex. It's not like prom, where it was a rebellious secret. This is two best friends finding out if they are truly in love or not."Good morning, Sam," Robbie says to me as he turns over to face me. He wipes my hair out of my face and places it behind my ear."Hi, Robbie," I say as I lean in to kiss him. He closes his eyes before our lips touch. The fire ignites, and we've started touching each other again. His touch is like a drug energizing my flesh. With every touch, I want more and more. Mark never made me feel like this. My best friend has intoxicated me with lust.The more Robbie kisses my neck, the longer I want to kiss his lips. On and on, we continue, unable to break away from each other. Before either of us r
Sam finishes getting ready for the day and heads out the door. There's no point in trying to keep her around. We need a few days to think about each other. I don't want to hurt anyone, especially Missy. But I've experienced Sam now, in a more intimate setting, and I can't just give that up or let that go. So last night meant something to Sam and me.Sam tried her hardest to keep her feelings away, but I had to make her say she loves me. It felt good to hear those words leave my best friend's lips. She used to lie beside me when she was scared of what her parents would do to her. So on those nights when she'd come over, I wanted her to love me. I've known Sam longer than Missy, but that doesn't mean we were meant to be together. It's complicated.Percy knocks on the guest bedroom door. My hair looks like I've had sex all night long."Well, I saw Sam leave. How are you feeling," Percy asks?"Oh, I'm fine. Better than fine," I say as Percy hands me a cup of