VIII: The Fashion Show

Blood pounded in her ears, her heart thudding in her chest. Her hands shook as she felt a tingle in her feet. Her vision became blurry and she gripped the edge of the basin, trying to steady her breathing. Each moment that passed, breathing became harder for her.

She took long measured breaths, staring at her reflection through her blurred vision. She debated on whether to bolt out and run back home or stay and face her demons.

If she stayed, she was likely to make a mess of herself. If she left, Lale would be really disappointed. Either way, there was a sure risk on both of her decisions, besides if she left, she had no idea how to get home.

"Najmah are you okay in there?" Aslan queried, knocking on the door of the bathroom.

She couldn't give him a coherent answer due to her lack of breaths. Sensing something wrong, he ran into the bathroom and found her hunched over the basin.

"Hey, try to breathe and relax okay?" he placed his arm around her. "You're going to be okay, I'm here now. Slowly...in...out...in...out," he breathed, urging her to do the same.

"There you go," he wiped the beads of sweat that gathered on her forehead. "How do you feel now?"

"Like I've run a marathon," she joked, her voice hoarse and unsteady.

"Stay here, don't move an inch. I'll be right back," he ordered then trotted out of the bathroom. He came back seconds later with a bottle of chilled water and a glass cup.

He uncapped the bottle then filled the glass, passing it to her. She took it, feeling grateful for his presence, gulped it down then sighed deeply, her tensed muscles beginning to relax as he drew small circles on her back.

"Any better?" he queried hopefully.

"Much better, thank you."

"What happened? Why were you..."

"I don't think I can do this," she admitted, cutting him off. She twisted her fingers, keeping her eyes downcast.

"Hey look at me," he raised her chin so she could face him. "You don't have to do this. We can tell Lale that you got sick and..."

"She'll be disappointed," she cut him off again.

"What if out on the stage you have another attack?"

"I'll be fine, I promise. I'll try and not thinking about the millions of people watching me."

"Will it work?"

"For my sake, I hope it does."

"Your panic attacks have been coming on frequently, I think you should visit a doctor," he suggested, concern laced in his voice.

"I'm okay, I'll just try and stay away from anything that'd trigger any of my panic attacks."

"Are you sure?"

"I hate hospitals," she shook her head. "So yeah."

He gave her hand a tight squeeze then scurried out of the bathroom, giving her privacy to collect herself.

She stared at herself in the mirror, trying to keep out any thoughts from invading her mind."You're gonna get through this without making a spectacle of yourself," she said to her reflection, then with a smile, she scurried out of the bathroom.

"Shall we?" he queried, offering his hand to her. Instead of putting her hand in his, she looped her arm with his. Though surprised by her action, he acted unaffected by it and escorted her to the changing room.

"There you are," Lale sighed in relief. "The show's going to start in five, sit down let me retouch your makeup and get you into that dress."

"I'll take my leave now," he nodded at the two then went towards the area where the fashion show was going to take place. He thought of the whole thing as ridiculous, but he couldn't mention that to his sister, it would break her heart. She's always been into fashion right from the day she began to dress up herself. He was so proud of the woman she had become.

{••}

He stared at her as she cat walked down the stage, her chin held high. She was an epitome of beauty, looking regal in her red gown which fell into smooth waves behind her. As she reached the end of the stage, he felt like it was the first time he saw her. Feline eyes, an upper lip which was slightly thicker than the lower creating a natural pout, a nose that was neither straight nor short caked up in her oval shaped face.

The lights illuminated her body, causing a golden hue to radiate off of her brown skin. The gown sat smugly on her body like it was made for her. For someone who disliked the runway, she rocked it like she was born to do it.

To anyone watching, the slight set of her jaw would've been mistaken for determination, but for Aslan, he knew what was coming. As she walked back the way she came in, he jumped out of his seat and went to the changing room assigned to her.

"Can I come in?" he knocked on the door, twisting the knob then poked his head inside. He found her sprawled on the floor, fanning herself with the veil she tugged off her head. He crouched down towards her then helped her up her feet.

"You did well," he smiled at her, the indent on his cheeks showing. "But this is the last time you're doing this."

"I second that," she grinned placing the veil on her head. She picked a piece of tissue and dabbed on her face, to wipe away the sweat that formed there.

"C'mon let's get outta here before Lale freaks out," she tugged at his hand, moving towards the door.

{••}

"Handsome isn't he?" Lale smirked, looping her arm with Najmah's who was staring at Aslan.

"He is," Najmah admitted, feeling a little embarrassed. She hadn't meant to ogle at him, but it was hard not to.

His sleek black hair was pushed back, a few strands fell to the side of his face given him a bad boy look. She remembered the first time she had seen his eyes up close, onyx, dark, expressive and misleadingly cold. Square jaw, straight nose and too-full lips that softened his expression.

She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts that clouded her mind, moving her gaze back to the smirking Lale. "Oh no!" she groaned inwardly.

"So tell me, did we make it?" Najmah queried in hopes of taking Lale's mind off what she was thinking.

"I know what you're trying to do," Lale pouted. "But Alhamdulillah, we did it!"

"Did you see the people who were present? All the IT of the fashion world were around," she squealed. "Heidi Klum was also present! Ya Allah! You should've seen her face when she saw the dresses. She even walked up to me after the show and congratulated me in person."

"Wow, that's amazing. I'm really happy for you," Najmah responded, clasping her hand with a smile on her face even though she had no idea who Heidi Klum was.

"Thank you so much for agreeing to model for me. You know maybe you should consider being a model, no one would've expected that you weren't one."

"It's not my thing," she shook her head as they walked towards their table. "I don't like the cameras."

"But they like you," Lale protested. "You really should consider it."

"Okay," she replied, sitting down. She really wasn't going to consider it. There was nothing to think about when it comes to that. She'd faint before she reached the end of the runway. Besides, she'd rather stay at home in baggy clothes with a book in her hand than parade around in heels and dresses.

{••}

Najmah and Aslan left the party immediately Najmah began to complain about a headache. Afet hearing that, decided to join them.

The three ambled out of the building, with Najmah holding a sleeping Hilal. Afet was quick to open the front door and slide in, leaving Najmah with the option of sitting at the back. She didn't care much because she needed to lay down before they got back home. She set Hilal down into the backseat then got into the car afterwards.

The drive was silent as Najmah had also fallen asleep and Aslan had returned to his reserved self. All attempts of making a conversation died down when he refused to acknowledge her presence but Afet being Afet did not relent till he snapped at her. She recoiled into her seat, feeling sad and angry.

When they got home, Aslan picked up the sleeping Najmah up to their room after instructing Afet to take Hilal back to her room. She stared down at him then gingerly picked her up, groaning all the way up to Hilal's room.

Her plan had failed, she was stuck with carrying a child whom she didn't like while the love of her life held her sworn enemy. Najmah had unknowingly won again.

{••}

She stirred in her sleep, throwing the covers off her body. The last thing she remembered was sleeping in the car so how did she get there? She stared at her body, wondering how she got out of the heavy dress Lale had put her into. Who could've changed her into her pj's? 

"I didn't look I promise," Aslan giggled from behind her, making her jump a little.

"Gosh! Finish me off then," she rolled her eyes, placing her hand on her racing heart.

He set down the mugs he was holding on a table then faced her with a slow smile, trying to hide his grin.

"You were exhausted and I didn't want to wake you up. I changed your clothes, but my eyes were closed," he explained, picking up his laptop and placing it on the table where he kept the mugs.

She stared at him with disbelief.

"I promise," he chuckled. "I made coffee for you," he gestured at the mugs then turned his gaze back to his laptop.

"Do you ever do anything aside from work? Don't you find it boring?" she queried, moving towards the bathroom. "Don't you have other things to do like paint?"

He stilled, his finger hovering over the keyboard. As if experiencing it for the first time after it happened, he remembered the reason why he immersed himself deeply into work.

Although he still found himself in his studio, he couldn't bring himself to paint anything. His mind goes blank the moment he presses a brush on the canvas and memories of that fateful night will come tumbling through his head. He gripped the edge of his chair, taking slow breaths one at a time before he ran out of the room, leaving his laptop behind.

Najmah came out and couldn't find him so she went towards the table and picked the first mug.

"Damn!" she spat the hot liquid out. "How can one survive drinking such a bitter thing?"

She set it down, wiping her tongue with the sleeve of her shirt to get the bitter taste off her taste buds but it was futile. She picked the second mug and sipped it gently, hoping it tasted better than the first one. She smiled then sipped it again, settling down on the seat Aslan had vacated. He remembered how she liked her coffee.

When she was done, she stood up and went back to bed. Not in the mood for reading, she settled down after picking up her laptop. She typed in her password then scrolled through the list of movies she had, clicking on Descendants 2. Though a grown up, she still had a weak spot for Disney movies.

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