The morning breeze blew the curtains to and fro, making Najmah shiver as she descended the stairs. She placed a hand on her bare arm, making a beeline to the kitchen. Her eyes were a little bit unfocused as she hadn't slept a wink the night before, her mind too occupied and restless to let her be.
If only Fahad hadn't gotten himself into trouble, she wouldn't have been in that situation, she thought solemnly. She spent the whole night trying to figure out what made him do what he did but couldn’t come up with any possible reason. His family was well off so why would he get himself caught up in such an illegal act?
Something wasn’t adding up she thought as she entered the kitchen, heading towards the coffee brewer. The Fahad she knew wouldn’t have done what he was accused of but perhaps, she could be wrong. After all, she didn’t know him that much but he never gave her any reason to suspect that he was partaking in illegal activities. She sat down on the kitchen island, twirling the spoon in her cup, unable to bring herself to take a sip. The clattering of plates startled her, and she let out an inaudible sigh when she saw Hanifa, her brother's wife.
"Good morning Addah Hanifa," she greeted taking a sip of the now warm coffee.
"Good morning Najmah," the lady replied with enthusiasm that was strange for a person who just woke up especially Hanifa who wasn't a morning person.
"Why are you so happy Addah Hanifa? Did you win the lottery?" her brows rose in question as she regarded said lady with scruitiny.
"This is far better than winning a lottery Najmah. I'm just so happy because...″ she trailed off, placing her hand on her belly a smile breaking off on her face, her eyes twinkling with happiness.
"You're pregnant!" Najmah blurted as realization dawned on her and for a moment, she was able to forget her predicament and race towards Hanifa, throwing her arms over her in congratulations.
"Thank you Star!" she responded, hugging Najmah back.
"Does Yaa Umar know?" Najmah queried, settling back on the island.
"No," she shook her head in response, heading towards the coffee brewer. "I found out yesterday."
"How are you holding up? I'm so sorry," she stared at her sister in law sympathetically.
"To be honest, I don't know. Yesterday if anyone told me I wasn’t gonna marry Fahad, I would've told that person that he was a liar and yet, here we are..." she trailed off, not knowing how to express her feelings. "What if he doesn't accept me Addah? You know how hard it is for me to form relations, what if he shuns me away?"
"Everything’s going to be alright in shaa Allah*, you'll see. Have faith in The Almighty, He joined you both in matrimony and by His Grace, He'll join your hearts as one."
"What if... "
"There's no what if Najmah, you're a star, our star and in shaa Allah, you'll be the star that'll shine in your husband's house and heart. You just need a little bit of work and a bit of adjustment before you both understand each other but in shaa Allah, you will get there. He will see what a unique and amazing person you are once he gets to know you and mark my words, he won't be able to help himself, he will fall hard for you."
Despite her insecurities and troubles, Najmah threw her head back and laughed heartily, grateful for having her brother's wife in her life. She always knew when to pick her up when she fell and when to tell her 'I told you so' when she was stubborn, a best friend and a sister-in-law wrapped in one package.
{••}
The sun had set and Najmah was sitting in her favorite place at the garden, reading a book. Too absorbed in her reading, she didn't realize when her mother sat beside her till she took the book out of her hand.
"Ummita!" she gasped, placing her hands on her chest. "You scared me."
"How are you doing my child?" Haj.Salmah placed her hand on her daughter's head comfortingly.
"I've been better," she shrugged, placing her head on her mother's lap, feeling odd but still unable to stop herself; she needed the comfort then more than ever.
"Najmah...there's something I have to tell you..." she trailed off, staring ahead. She felt pity for her youngest due to the turnout of her life but what could she do, it was qadr and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
"You're saying Ummita?" Najmah queried sitting upright, her heart starting to beat widely against her chest.
"It's uhm...uhm...your husband..." Haj. Salmah trailed off, unable to continue. It wasn’t often that she found herself speechless but the spontaneous change of things had her tongue-tied, she had wanted her husband to break the news to Najmah because apart from Hanifa, only he had the ability to break through to her.
"What about him Ummita?" she gulped, trying to keep her composure although all she wanted to do was break down right that moment. Had he called to divorce her finally realising what an outrageous idea it was to accept a marriage on the spot? Will she become a divorcee at the age of 22, dumped, married and then divorced within 48 hours?
"You know that Faik and his family do not stay here right? And uhm...he wants you to go to Turkey together with him."
"What are talking about? You mean I'm leaving Nigeria for a foreign country, to a stranger of a husband who might reject me the minute he sees me? Ummita this isn't fair," Najmah stated, staring ahead her face suddenly turning passive. She bit her tongue in other to refrain herself from screaming.
"It's your destiny Najmah and no one can escape his. In my heart, I know that Aslan will take good care of you.
"I want what's best for you Najmah, I know that this is a trial and in shaa Allah you'll pass this test. All I pray for you is a blessed union and may Allah azza wajjal unite the two of you."
Najmah couldn't bring herself to talk so she bobbed her head and stared into space. A lone tear escaped her eyes and quickly, she wiped it away so her mother wouldn't see but unfortunately, Haj. Salmah had caught her.
She engulfed her daughter into a hug, urging her to let out what she was hiding but being the person that she was, she sat stiff in her mother's embrace. Haj. Salmah released her from the hug, disappointment washing over her as she realised that her daughter had once again shut her out. She shouldn't have agreed to be the one to tell Najmah the latest news, her father should have.
{••}
Najmah stood at the door of her bedroom, taking in the sight of the now bare room. She walked further inside, running her hand over the makeshift bookshelf her brother had gifted her with a reminiscent smile, recalling the day he had brought it to her bedroom. She wandered over to the window and stared down at the garden, recalling all the times she had spent reading and painting while hiding away from her mother's strict gaze.
She had always known that a day would come when she would leave her beloved safe haven but leaving the country had never crossed her mind. She blinked away tears that were threatening to fall and moved away from the view, swallowing hard before sitting down at the edge of her bed which no longer felt like hers she thought bitterly as she skimmed her hand over the linen.
A loud blaring horn jolted her out of her thoughts and with one last lingering gaze, she jutted her chin upwards and strolled out into the compound where her parents were waiting to send her off.
Her steps faltered as her gaze met with her father's whose jaws were set in a hard line as he fought hard to keep his composure. If it were any day, she would have teased him about it but knowing that she was the reason behind that, she decided to let it go. After all, she wasn’t in the mood for any of that. With a deep sigh, she tried to pocket her hands in her jeans but failed as they fell down by her sides. She sighed again when she recalled her mother's stern warning about wearing jeans to meet her new family.
"Abba… " she uttered, resisting the urge to fling her arms over him knowing that she wouldn't be able to let go. "I'm gonna miss you."
"I'm going to miss you more my star. Now go on ahead your new life awaits you," he whispered into her ear, wiping away her tears.
"Ummita... " she returned her mother's hug, breathing in her scent and committing it to her memory knowing full well it might be the last time she would see her. Haj. Salmah wasn’t particularly warm but all the same, she loved her mother dearly.
"You have to be strong Najmah, marriage isn't a bed of roses there are thorns in it. You have to be strong for anything that comes your way," she whispered into her ears, squeezing her shoulders.
"What if I disappoint you?"
"You won't, I have no qualms in how I raised you."
It took a lot of effort and willpower before Haj. Salmah was able to wrench away from her daughter. It pained to see her daughter in that condition but there was no going back, the deed had already been done, there was no use crying over spilled milk but still, there was pain in her heart.
Najmah hanged on to Hanifa, never in a million years did she think they'd be separated much more by a continent. How could she ever survive without having Hanifa by her side?
It took a lot of persuasion before Najmah went into the awaiting car, taking one last look at her home, wondering what sort of life awaits her in Turkey.
Would she get along with her new family, would she be able to relate with them? And her husband, would their relationship work considering her poor communication skills or lack thereof. She wondered how their marriage was going to work especially with her condition. Would he accept a person like her, or would he send her back? What if he expected a lot from her? What if he expected things from her which were beyond her comfort zone, would she be able to do it? Would she be able to crack out of her shell and become the loving wife she was expected to be?
'But all these depend on the kind of man he is.'
________________________________________________
Najmah snapped her book shut then fastened her seat belt, staring out of the window. She had a phobia for flights, so she spent the whole flight duration reading one of the many books she had brought together with her; "Lie to me, Dan by Longrin Wetten″ which happened to be one of her favorites.She gripped the edge of her seat and snapped her eyes shut as the captain began the procedures for landing, muttering all the du'as• that came to her mind at that time, holding tight to her seatbelt as if her life depended on it. And much to her relief, it was a smooth landing. She took off her seatbelt with shaky hands then got her luggage from the compartment, sighing in relief when her feet came in contact with asphalt as she stepped out of the plane."Welcome to Istanbul, your new home," Mr. Faik beamed at her once they were done with airport preliminaries."Thank you, sir," she replied forcing a fake smile."Please don't," he scrunched up his face. "C
The next morning, Najmah couldn't sleep after fajr salah so she went out of the room and headed towards the the kitchen, tracing Lale's steps from the day before. She found Aslan perched on a stool sipping tea, a copy of the day's paper held in his left hand. He raised his head and their gaze met, his unreadable while hers was full of uncertainty.She whirled around to head back where she came from when she froze, his husky voice sending shivers down her spine. "Come in, I don't bite."His presence unnerved her and she wished more than anything he would leave the kitchen and let her gather her thoughts. On one hand, she could just leave like she intended to but she really needed the caffeine.Shoulders sagged down in defeat, she walked towards the espresso machine and tried to turn it on, but all her attempts were futile as she had no idea how to operate it.Aslan sensing her distress debated on whether to help her or leave her to it. Deciding on the former,
Aslan didn't sleep a wink the night before after Najmah had woken him up, he sat behind the desk of his office rubbing at his temple tiredly. Bags were visible under his eyes and the mug of coffee he kept on his table wasn't helping matters, the caffeine wasn't strong enough to ward off the effects of the nightmare.He shuddered as events of his nightmare kept replaying on his mind, he still remembered that dreadful night; the night that cost him the life of someone close to him, and almost cost him his sanity. It was a night he'd never forget."Sir? You have a meeting in five," his secretary knocked at the door of his office, interrupting his thoughts."Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" he grumbled, picking up the file on his desk. He straightened his tie, slipped on his suit which was hanging on the chair then walked out of the office with strides that demanded authority.Every employee scrambled up from his seat greeting him, while he gave a curt nod a
The sun rays penetrated through the glass walls of the greenhouse, stimulating the plants growth. Najmah was busy transferring the blooming seedlings into various pots after asking Ferah for permission who was more than happy for she was far too busy to take care of it.After successfully transferring them to the pots, she arranged them in a corner then set to plant new seeds. Using her thumb and index finger, she pinched the top of a few leggy plants, for them to grow fuller and healthier before spraying pyrethrum around the greenhouse to ward off ants and aphids.Using the back of her mud covered hand, she wiped away the tiny sheen of sweat that rolled down her face then bent down to pick a broom and began to sweep the mess she made while transplanting.When she was done, she stepped back to admire her handiwork. Satisfied with it, she turned around to go back in and take a shower when she froze, letting out a scream.
Lale stared at her reflection in the mirror, scrunching up her face in distaste. Bags were visible under her eyes and her face looked pale due to exhaustion from lack of sleep."You shall sleep when everything is set," she said to her reflection as she added another layer of foundation to her face. When she was satisfied with her look, she donned her hijab then padded to Aslan & Najmah's room.Just like she predicted Najmah was sitting on bed with a spoon hanging on her mouth, staring intently at the book she was holding, a jar of Nutella kept to her side. She never could understand the girl's obsession with books and Nutella."Hello Missy, care to join me on an adventure into town?" she queried, startling Najmah who threw her book away.Although exhausted Lale fell into a fit of laughter, clutching her stomach and pointing at the sullen look on Najmah's face."You...look...look.
Blood pounded in her ears, her heart thudding in her chest. Her hands shook as she felt a tingle in her feet. Her vision became blurry and she gripped the edge of the basin, trying to steady her breathing. Each moment that passed, breathing became harder for her.She took long measured breaths, staring at her reflection through her blurred vision. She debated on whether to bolt out and run back home or stay and face her demons.If she stayed, she was likely to make a mess of herself. If she left, Lale would be really disappointed. Either way, there was a sure risk on both of her decisions, besides if she left, she had no idea how to get home."Najmah are you okay in there?" Aslan queried, knocking on the door of the bathroom.She couldn't give him a coherent answer due to her lack of breaths. Sensing something wrong, he ran into the bathroom and found her hunched over the basin."Hey
She stared out of the window, her eyes unfocused. She felt empty and out of sorts like she didn't belong. She wanted to go back home, but she couldn't voice out her thoughts. Try as she might, the words don't seem to come out.She felt suffocated and trapped, like she was shackled. The Sadeks have been really kind and welcoming to her, she couldn't go to Aslan's dad and demand to be returned home. The few weeks she had spent with them were the best she's ever had. With them, she felt like she was finally living; like her life had meaning again.After Fahad, she hadn't thought she would care about anyone again but then came Aslan, and now Najmah wondered if being friends with him was the best decision she made.She sighed, pushing her hand through her hair,feeling disoriented and robotic. She hadn't felt like that in ages, not even after the news of Fahad's betrayal was broken to her. She still couldn't understand why he di
"So how was the therapy?" Aslan asked, folding the sleeves of his shirt."It went well nothing new," she shrugged scrolling through her twitter feed.Aslan sighed, sitting at the edge of the bed. He had been trying to get her to open up since she came back from visiting the therapist, but all he got were vague answers."So when did you...umm...learn..." he stuttered, trying to find the right words to say. He couldn't think of any word to use, lest he offends her."That I was crazy?" she chuckled, locking her phone and facing him."You aren't crazy," he frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're schizoid and schizoid people are not crazy. Though temperamental at times but definitely not crazy.""Did you somehow earn a degree in psychology overnight?" she teased, throwing her feet off the bed. "You seem to know a lot about my disorder than I do, Dr Aslan."