Chapter 3

Rachel tried to concentrate on her writing, but her fictional romance plots were constantly being interrupted by her real life thoughts about the postmaster. It took all her will power not to find some excuse to visit the post office. In the past week, she spent more than two hundred dollars on postcards and stamps she would never use. She was sure he knew her motive. The last time he gave her change, his hand stayed on hers a few seconds longer than necessary, but he never said anything. In fact, except for that one visit to her cabin, their conversation was strictly business.

With only three weeks left on her summer rental, Rachel decided she had better make the first move. She reached for the phone just as it started to ring.

Maybe that’s Alex. She thought. Her voice quivered slightly when she said, “Hello?” but the voice on the other end wasn’t his.

“Rachel? It’s Sandra. Have you checked your mail today?”

“No. I’ve been working on the rewrites of Legal Briefs all day. I’m not even dressed, why?”

“Well, you can forget the rewrite. Peter Williams, the main man from Prelude Press just called and he loves the book.”

“Prelude? I’ve never heard of them.”

“They’re a small, very exclusive New York House. Started publishing poetry back in the early seventies, expanded to political non-fiction, then opened their fiction department about a year ago. Peter said he mailed your contracts express overnight, so throw some clothes on, or go in your underwear, I don’t care, but get your little ass over to that little post office of yours and pick up your mail.”

“Oh my God, Sandra. Are you serious?”

“As serious as an advance royalty check, and yours my dear is very, very serious! Congratulations.”

Rachel grabbed some clothes from the pile of laundry she planned on washing sometime, grabbed her keys and ran out the front door. She managed to pull the zipper up on her shorts as she closed the car door. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other trying to button the rest of her blouse, she just managed to miss hitting a woodchuck that had wandered onto the road. With the animal safe on the other side, Rachel hit the gas and spun around the final turn that led toward the main road. She nearly slammed into a pick-up truck full of chickens that was going about two miles an hour. Rachel cursed and checked her watch. Ten to five, and she knew Alex closed exactly at five. Well, if she were late, she’d just have to break into the place.

Fortunately, she didn’t have to commit a felony. Rachel pulled into the parking lot just as another late customer was leaving. She nearly forgot to turn off the ignition. She flew up the steps and nearly knocked the guy over as she breathlessly ran to the counter.

“Is this what you were coming in here for?” Alex said, holding out the large envelope “Or are you breathing heavy because of me?” He flashed her a wide grin and she tore the envelope from his hand.

Both, she wanted to say as she nervously opened the package and began reading. She was so absorbed with the contract, she didn’t notice he locked the door and began turning off the lights.

“Good news?” Alex already knew the answer.

Rachel looked up, expecting to see him behind the counter, and was startled for an instant when she realized he was standing right behind her. She turned around and without thinking, put her arms around him and kissed him hard on the mouth. When she realized what she’d done, she was suddenly embarrassed.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean...” she tried to pull away, but he didn’t release her.

“Hey, that’s ok. You want to try that again, only a little slower?”

Before she had a chance to answer, Alex started kissing her, slowly moving his hands down her back, gently pulling her closer. It had been so long since she had felt this kind of passion from a man. Passion that had been building up for weeks, or maybe it was a lifetime.

She pulled away from him and tried to breathe.

“I really am sorry,” she held up the envelope. “These are contracts from Prelude Press. They bought the book! I guess I got so excited, I just had to kiss somebody, and you just happened to be there and...”

Rachel knew she was babbling and wondered if her excuses sounded as lame to Alex as they did to her. Yes, she had been thrilled with the contracts and yes she wanted to share her good news with someone, but when Alex kissed her, she knew there were a whole lot of other reasons why she had not wanted him to stop.

“Oh,” he backed away. “Then, I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m glad I was the only one here when you got that contract. If you’d kissed Jake, he probably would have had a heart attack. I already locked the front door, so you’ll have to go out the back.”

Alex started to walk away. Rachel put her hand on his arm, turned him around and stared deeply into his dark, brown eyes.

“Alex. That’s not quite true. What I said about you just being here wasn’t quite the complete truth. I’ve been thinking about you ever since that afternoon you came to my cabin. In fact, I’ve been having trouble thinking about anything else.”

Alex was afraid to believe what he hoped was the truth. He tried to cover his apprehension with humor. “You sure this isn’t some research project for your next novel?”

“I never write about people I know, too risky. I’m a lawyer, remember?”

“Well, Miss Lawyer, do you think you could get us acquitted if we violated a few federal postal laws?”

“We’d have to get caught first.”

“The postmaster would have to turn us in.”

“Do you think he can be bribed?”

“I’m sure of it”

Alex took Rachel’s hand and led her into his private office. The room was hot from the afternoon summer sun, or maybe it was just the effect Alex's touch was having on her that caused Rachel to have difficulty breathing. He closed the office door and turned off the lights. The sunset filled the room with a natural orange glow that lit the red highlights of Rachel's hair.

Alex placed one hand delicately on the back of her neck, his fingertips tracing lines through her hair while his other hand gently caressed her back, drawing her body closer. Rachel was dizzy with the heat in the room and the heat of her passion. When their lips met, the hunger she had denied herself since her break-up with Mark suddenly and ravenously came to the surface.

The total feeling of safety, of being with someone with no baggage, no strings and no ulterior motive, brought out sensations in Rachel she thought were long dead. She trusted Alex. He was an honest man. There was no pretext, no illusions. She lay back on the cool vinyl couch, closed her eyes and gave in to her desires willingly, freely and without question.

As Alex watched Rachel dress, he couldn’t quite believe that he made love to this woman who was so totally and completely out of his league. She was a lawyer from New York, a published author, and a beautiful, talented and dynamic woman. Has just a guy who worked in a small town post office. Was it more than just an afternoon fling? Sounding very sure of himself, and feeling anything but, Alex said, "The place closes at noon tomorrow. Do you want to have lunch?"

"I'd like that," she smiled warmly, glad he had made the offer, almost afraid he wasn't going to. At least he didn't say “I'll call you,” she thought.

“My apartment is a mess. How about I pick up a few things and cook something at your place.”

“I was hoping you'd say that. I'm getting sick of microwave meals.”

 Rachel was glad the room was dark. She didn't want Alex to notice her knees were having a hard time holding up the rest of her body. She was trying to play it cool, and having a difficult time convincing even herself.

Rachel would never admit it, especially to Alex, but her ex-boyfriend’s comments still continued to haunt her. Every time a publisher returned her manuscript, a subconscious I told you so, would creep into her thoughts to the point that Rachel’s self-esteem level was close to zero. She stared to believe her book kept getting rejected because it wasn’t good enough, and that perhaps Mark had rejected her for the same reason.

 She didn’t want Alex to know how unsure she was, or how much she needed to prove both of her assumptions to be false. The contracts she held in her hands earlier affirmed her writing competency. Holding Alex in her arms moments ago reaffirmed her sexuality. But as she watched him watching her with eyes full of something other than simple physical satisfaction, Rachel silently asked herself, was it more than just an afternoon fling?

Alex walked her to the parking lot. He kissed her tentatively, still feeling the uncertainty of their first time lovemaking. He watched her car drive down the road until the tail lights became two tiny dots of red. Alex knew he was in trouble. He didn’t know when it had started exactly. After reading her book, he knew he wanted to get to know her better. He used the excuse of delivering the package to her cabin in order to see her outside of the office, but was not quite ready to ask her out for fear she would say no.

Almost subconsciously, he began looking forward to Rachel’s daily visits. He caught himself watching the clock and the door in anticipation of seeing her. He didn’t want it to happen, but the wall he’d built around his heart was beginning to crumble a little bit every time she walked through the door. And today, when she kissed him, it was as if she had blown the horn of Joshua, knocking down his self-imposed wall of Jericho. And he was scared.

Rachel drove up the dirt road that led to her sanctuary in the woods. Her body was still tingling with the memory of Alex and the excitement of finally selling her book. Once inside, she turned on the lights and began reading through the papers. Sandra was right. It was an excellent contract, but it did require an extensive travel itinerary for book signings and other promotional events.

She held the pen in her hand and stared at the signature line. She was about to get everything she ever wanted and possibly lose the one thing she never thought she’d ever have. Her life was about to change and Rachel knew Alex could never be part of it.

Rachel closed her eyes and immediately his endearing smile came into view. Her body remembered the way he’d held her, and how his touch had taken her on a journey of unimaginable pleasure. But when she opened her eyes, the room was empty. Cold, dark and lonely. She wasn’t ready to take that kind of risk. She was scared.

Rachel put her signature on the contract and faxed the papers through the telephone lines for thirteen cents less than the price of a first class postage stamp.