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Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 36
Miranda POV I turned and watched Joel as he walked slowly into the ocean. I loved his thick, muscular body and even though I am not usually a fan of tattoos, I have to admit that Joel’s just added to his sexiness. I drank in the way he seemed to glide and strut at the same time, like he owned this beach, this ocean and he was finally coming home in a sense. I could tell that he was trying not to break down as we arrived at the beach. I can only imagine the feelings he may be experiencing after being locked up for over ten years. I know he doesn't want to show emotions in front of me; most men don't want to appear weak. But I would never think of him as weak for having emotions. I gave him several minutes to be alone in his thoughts while I pondered myself on the last few days. I know that we both genuinely care for each other but where does that leave us? Joel was right when he said it's not practical for me to leave Alaska. I have my family and my job there and I’m not even su
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 37
Joel POV I awoke early this morning with a slight knot of fear in my gut. I propped up on my elbow, facing Miranda and watching her sleep. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that in a few hours, I would be saying goodbye to her as it was time for her to fly back home.While I know I am completely capable of carrying out the next steps of my transition plan including securing my apartment, starting my new job, and continuing with my court ordered counseling and reentry classes, the thought of doing them with Miranda thousands of miles away does not sit well with me. Having her support and being able to talk to her every day on the phone simply does not compare to having her here with me when I come home from work or when I may need some physical affection. I'm not just talking about sex either, although that's great too. I'm talking about the little things that have made me feel safe in this essentially new world over the last week. If she only knew what those little g
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 38
Miranda POV Arriving home and getting back on track with work and my normal daily schedule was much more challenging than I thought it would be. My trip to see Joel get released was more than I would have expected and now that I am home I feel an emptiness that I was not anticipating. I knew we were becoming so much more than friends even before he got out, but I did not expect to feel the level of connection that I had while I was there. I had wanted to be there for those first special moments of freedom and being there created an indescribable bond between us.I didn't really know how he was feeling until I broke down, just before getting on the plane. Joel was so tender with me and confirmed that what he said to his mom was what he was really feeling. He actually did want to continue our relationship and explore him moving to Alaska so we could really see what can come from this relationship. I couldn't be happier. Well, that's not true. Long distance relationships are no joke
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 39
Joel POV I hung up the phone, gritting my teeth then pressing the phone roughly to my forehead while trying to keep my composure. But it was useless, my self-control was lost as my muscles tensed and I exploded, throwing the phone across the room leaving it shattered on the floor. "Fucking bitch!" I yelled at the empty air.I immediately regretted smashing my phone and it surely didn't make me feel any better. I did feel the need to let out more anger, though and remembered the punching bag that hung up in the makeshift weight pit in the backyard of my apartment building. Thank God for that neighbor who was training to be a mixed martial arts fighter. I look out the window and see him out there, moving what looks like a freestanding body opponent bag (BOB) into his circle of weights and punching bags. I left the room without so much as a glance at the phone to see the damage done, grabbing my ear buds on my way. I walk outside. The fall air hits my face and while it is still warm,
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 40
Miranda POV It's been a couple weeks since our fight and I still miss Joel terribly. I have been keeping myself busy hanging out with Amanda, not at the bars, but we have been to a couple of wine and paint nights, and I am finally the proud owner of that giant dolphin painting that I always dreaded. I guess it could be worse. My brother has also been surprisingly supportive, calling to check on me daily and he's even hanging out at my house more too. He's been over four times in the last two weeks, cooking dinner and watching movies in the evenings. He doesn't say much, but his presence makes all the difference and helps distract me. In fact, he’s here right now, laying on the couch with Beebs, vegging out on some reality show where they leave a bunch of single people in the jungle for a month to fend for themselves. I’m thankful. The evenings are the hardest as these are the times Joel and I would have marathon phone conversations; lying in bed, laughing before drifting off to
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 41
Joel POV"What the fuck Johnson!" I jerked my head up and looked into the red screaming face of my foreman. I had been mindlessly nailing studs up without listening or paying attention to my surroundings. This is a big construction no-no and for the second time today my boss had almost hit me with a load of two-by-fours. "Sorry boss. Just stuck in my head and can’t really focus.""Well, you've been stuck in your head all week. You’re becoming a danger to yourself and to me and I cannot have that on my worksite. Insurance and shit like that, you understand. Plus, I fucking like you. You are a damned hard worker. I like myself more though. So, take the rest of the fucking day off and get your shit together. Get your head cleared of whatever bullshit it is and come back Monday, but you fucking better be right in the head by then," He scolded. "Sorry boss. I'll get my shit together. Thanks." I say as I walk toward my truck. I was able to pick up a cheap beater with a heater for a f
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 42
Miranda POV Amanda pulled her phone out and pulled up the article she had saved in her search history. I stared in shock as I read the newspaper headline “Boyfriend of Alecia Pike sentenced 22-years for Manslaughter.” Wait. What am I looking at? I’m confused at first but it becomes clearer as I continue to read, “Joel Johnson, boyfriend of slain woman received a sentence of twenty-two years in the murder of Alecia Pike in the First Judicial District Court of Virginia today after a week-long sentencing hearing. The extended hearing allowed the many victims and families of the victims in this case to testify for the court’s consideration. It was reported that the second victim, a minor in the case, who suffered a first-degree assault at the hands of the assailant was also present in the court….” I could not physically rad any longer as I felt bile begin to creep into my airway. “Where did you get this?” I asked Amanda, still hoping it was some sort of mistake. Or a joke, this had to
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 43
Joel POV I sat in my truck breathing deeply. It was about ten minutes before my appointment and I was collecting my thoughts. I knew without a doubt that this is what I wanted but it could very well backfire. I had requested this appointment to request an out of state pass, but I knew even without it, one way or another, I would be going to talk to Miranda. Yeah, I know it’s risky and such behavior may get me locked up again, but I can't say I care much anymore. I’ve tried to call a few times but she has not accepted my calls or returned my texts. I need to talk to her, to apologize and if she doesn't forgive me then I will move on. I at least deserve a chance to say my piece. I pulled down the sun visor and looked at the backside, where I kept the picture of Miranda clipped. I never told her that I kept her with me and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because It was cheesy but more likely because it was difficult for me to open up, to care for someone and allow them to care for me. I
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Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 50-Epilogue
Joel POV Sometimes people get second chances. It is my experience that it is rare and doesn't at all follow the cliches we always hear about getting a do-over. ‘As long as you have breath in your body, you still have time for another chance..’ ‘Every moment of your life is a second chance…’ These are absolutely not true. Second chances take a lot more than just being able to suck in air. They take time and commitment to change. They take willpower and gratitude at the highest level. Often, people are given a lot more than just second chances, they are given chance, after chance, after chance. Then, after repeated forgiveness from others, they feel entitled and rarely change, leaving their people frustrated and regretful. Not me! I was given an opportunity for a life, for love and I knew exactly what was offered. That is why I grabbed it with both hands and refused to let go. I refused to let her go. Some may even say I have become dependent upon Miranda for my happiness. To
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 49
Joel POV It has been a busy week. Since I arrived on short notice, Miranda was unable to get time off work because they are finishing up her current project apparently with some sort of rush due to funding. I know she will do great, and she can easily get a new job with how smart she is, but she is nervous, nonetheless. As for me, I didn't want to get stuck sitting in front of the television waiting for her to get home every day so I called up Jim’s Construction after learning he was having trouble with current employees calling out. I told him that I was available to help for the week and he took me up on my offer and I've been busy every day. He does mostly small jobs-building sheds and shops, home additions, and even some decks. I wasn't sure Jim would want me to work for him after learning about my past, but he was supportive, mentioning that his brother had spent some time in prison and that everyone deserves a second chance. I also had to make sure I mentioned it to Mr. Bar
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 48
Miranda POV I wake up early and dig around in Joel’s suitcase for something comfortable to wear. Settling on one of his oversized Virginia Cavaliers hoodies, I throw on my stretch pants and head down to the lobby. If I’m going to make it through this day, I am definitely going to require high doses of caffeine. Since Joel is here in Alaska and there is no doubt that his place in my life is not faltering, he needs to meet my people-at the very least my mom, my brother, and Amanda. I text Amanda to meet me at my house at one o’clock. That will give us plenty of time to check out, grab some breakfast for Joel, and get back to my house to meet her. Then, I figure I might as well kill two birds with one stone, so I text Mik as well, inviting him over for a late lunch. I know he’ll come if there’s food involved, and I can grab a pack of tacos from the food truck that parks down the road from my house. The hotel’s tea collection is weak, and their coffee is stale, but I guess it will d
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 47
Joel POV I wanted to just head straight to the airport and run home but I just couldn't do it so I found myself driving to the hotel I had listed on my travel pass and checking in at the front desk. I felt exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and even physically from I can't even remember how many hours of uncomfortable traveling over the last twenty-four-hour period. I wasn't mad. Well, maybe I was mad at myself for trusting someone again. But not mad at Miranda; I don't know that I'd feel differently if I were in her shoes. “Checking in. I have a reservation. Joel Johnson.,” I say as I approach the front desk of the hotel lobby. I look around and notice the hotel is fairly nice with a definite Alaska feel to it. The furniture is rugged with red plaid accent pillows and the main centerpiece is a giant stuffed grizzly bear. I might be impressed if I wasn't so tired. There’s a kid behind the desk and I’m guessing he can't be over eighteen. “Without looking up from the computer he
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 46
Miranda POV Joel was right. I had known about the crimes he committed when I reached out to him, and I had no right to hold them against him now. Furthermore, I had knowingly built a relationship and made a commitment to that relationship knowing all the while I did not have the details of his past. How can I just turn my back on someone who means so much without even getting the whole story? Without fighting for the relationship, I swore meant so much to me. One thing I have always loved about myself was that part that can be nonjudgmental and open to other's experiences. I have always believed that we are each on our own journey and that theirs is not mine to judge. We all have different things to learn in this life and it's not my responsibility to decide what is wrong or right/good or bad. Moreso, it's my job as a fellow human being to support people through their journey, no matter how much I disagree or am confused by their decisions along the way. Now that I know the circ
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 45
Joel POV I could barely see straight, and my hands started shaking as I formed them into fists. I hadn't been this furious since that day everything had happened. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you or anyone else! Especially not your nosy bitch friend,” I say, raising my voice. “It is supposed to be you and me against the world. That's what you fucking told me, and I guess I was stupid enough to believe you.” Miranda backed away from me and I could see a glimmer of fear in her eyes, and I immediately regretted my initial reaction. I never wanted her to be scared of me. I had never forgiven myself for what had happened. So, how could I ever expect her to understand or forgive me when I can't even forgive myself? I tried to bring it up to her a few times, but when I did, I only felt shame and guilt. Now here I was, scaring her and for what? Because her nosy best friend had filled her head with bullshit, and she read some damned articles that were only half truths? I rememb
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 44
Miranda POV I sit up in my bed and am thankful that it's the weekend. It's been a long, hard week at work, and I can use both the physical and mental rest. I’m even more thankful that I am finally getting through each day without constant reminders of Joel and even though I think I am a long way from being over him, I am able to function a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I hear a knock on the front door, Beebs barks, and I move into the living room, curious to see who could be at my house this early on a Saturday. Thinking it’s probably the local neighborhood kids trying to earn some extra money cleaning up yards, I throw on some shorts under my long tee shirt just to make sure they don’t get an eye full. However, when I open the door, I am not met by the local preteens. Instead, the very reason for my recent misery stands before me. I stare, shocked, until I can finally form words, “Joel, what are you doing here?” I should probably be scared. I mean what kind of psych
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 43
Joel POV I sat in my truck breathing deeply. It was about ten minutes before my appointment and I was collecting my thoughts. I knew without a doubt that this is what I wanted but it could very well backfire. I had requested this appointment to request an out of state pass, but I knew even without it, one way or another, I would be going to talk to Miranda. Yeah, I know it’s risky and such behavior may get me locked up again, but I can't say I care much anymore. I’ve tried to call a few times but she has not accepted my calls or returned my texts. I need to talk to her, to apologize and if she doesn't forgive me then I will move on. I at least deserve a chance to say my piece. I pulled down the sun visor and looked at the backside, where I kept the picture of Miranda clipped. I never told her that I kept her with me and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because It was cheesy but more likely because it was difficult for me to open up, to care for someone and allow them to care for me. I
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 42
Miranda POV Amanda pulled her phone out and pulled up the article she had saved in her search history. I stared in shock as I read the newspaper headline “Boyfriend of Alecia Pike sentenced 22-years for Manslaughter.” Wait. What am I looking at? I’m confused at first but it becomes clearer as I continue to read, “Joel Johnson, boyfriend of slain woman received a sentence of twenty-two years in the murder of Alecia Pike in the First Judicial District Court of Virginia today after a week-long sentencing hearing. The extended hearing allowed the many victims and families of the victims in this case to testify for the court’s consideration. It was reported that the second victim, a minor in the case, who suffered a first-degree assault at the hands of the assailant was also present in the court….” I could not physically rad any longer as I felt bile begin to creep into my airway. “Where did you get this?” I asked Amanda, still hoping it was some sort of mistake. Or a joke, this had to
