Share

2

last update Last Updated: 2023-02-03 04:36:43

Joel POV 

“Johnson, you got mail.” I hear the CO (correction officer) say as he shoves an envelope through my cell bars. The envelope hits the concrete floor face up and I turn my head on my pillow enough to notice what appears to be female hand writing on a standard white envelope.  “I’m surprised anyone gives a shit about the likes of you.”  He’s such a dick. Why can't he just keep his fucking mouth shut.  If I was anywhere else, I’d shut it for him.  I glance back at the letter.  Who the fuck would be writing me? 

My cellie grabs it off the floor before I can get to it.  “From Miranda Harris. Joel, you have a woman or what?” I wish.  But, I’ve never even heard of this person. 

“Shut-up, Shotgun.” Yeah, we call my cellie, Shotgun.  Apparently, he got the nickname because he shot his father and two of his uncles, all in the head with a shotgun when he was nineteen, but no one really knows for sure why he did it. We get along pretty good since we both got sentenced young and have basically grown up in the system, except he’s kinda nosy.  Strange, he wants to be up in everyone’s business when he won't even share one single detail about his own life or what got him in here.  I feel lucky I never really got a prison nickname.  That’s one thing I can be happy about. 

I snatch the letter out his hands and crash back into the bottom bunk. I open it, thinking the whole time, who the fuck is Miranda Harris and what does she want from me? 

Dear Joel, 

I came across your cousin’s post online that you were wanting a penpal and since I’m also twenty-eight years old, know your cousin, and like to write letters, I thought I would send one along in case you really were wanting to write to someone.  I met your cousin in an art class and I also saw some of your paintings on her post.  You are very talented.  I imagine you would love the view of the mountains and even the wildlife that I have here in Alaska.  Have you been here? To visit your cousin? 

I live in Wasilla which is about an hour drive north of Anchorage. It’s mother effing cold right now haha and even worse, it's winter so we get barely any sunlight with daylight coming around ten fifteen am and darkness coming around three forty-five pm…short days for sure…

I have a decent, but boring job working in an office.  Mostly, I research Alaska Native languages/dialects and prepare what will someday become dictionaries for traditional language teaching. 

I am learning to draw but I’m not very good yet. That is why I am taking the art class.  My grandma taught art and my brother is an amazing artist as well (acrylics mostly).  It’s not going well, and I think all the artist genes skipped me, unfortunately.  

I admit, I did look you up online and read just enough of your story to be sure I felt comfortable writing to you. I didn't delve too deep because that’s your story to share if you choose to do so. I didn’t tell your cousin I was writing to you, but I’m fine with you telling her if you want 

Anyways, have a good one, 

Miranda

Well, that is not exactly what I was expecting.  Someone actually wants to talk to me? To be my penpal?  I can't help but wonder what is wrong with this chick, writing to an inmate. She’s probably butt ugly or has no arms. Well, I know she has at least one arm, the letter is handwritten. Over the last nine years, I have had a couple other people write to me, but they were mostly people from churches and they were more interested in talking about their religion than actually getting to know me or letting me get to know them. 

“What's it say?” Shotgun asks, breaking my racing thoughts. 

“Man, she knows my cousin and introduced herself. It’s nothing. Go find yourself some business,” I replied. 

“You get no love now, brother. Write the bitch back and maybe get some scratch on your books while you're at it. Fill up that box,” Shotgun insisted. 

“Hey! First, don't call the only female who has talked to me in years a bitch and second, you know I don't need anything enough to use people for it. That's for the druggies. Those clowns give the rest of us a bad rep.  If I do write back, it will be to pass the time and get to know someone. Plus, I dont want to fuck over anyone who is my cousins friend and the last thing I need is some crazy bitch stalker when I get out. No cling-ons allowed.” 

“You're right,” he says, “Bad habits picked up in here and all that shit. How about we go get in our workout” 

Yeah, our workout.  We have been locked down for over a week now for the quarterly shakedown.  The correction officers (or CO’s as we call them) had already been on our cell, going through our measly belongings looking for contraband, but they still had other places to shakedown so it would be another week or so until we could go back to our normal schedule.  This meant that there was no outside recreation time and no weight pile. We are basically stuck in the cells all day with no phone calls, no computer use, and minimal meals and shower outings. For meals, they manage to scrape even lower than the bottom of the barrel on lockdowns. They consistently feed us, for breakfast, boiled eggs that don't peel right, grits...that are usually extra watery and normally all over the eggs and potatoes that are cubed and cold. Lunch and supper are usually boiled hot dogs or bologna with mustard spread all over everything. It is so damned frustrating to try and eat when the quality of food is so poor, so Shotgun and I always try to have extra commissary foods in our box like ramen noodles, tuna fish, and chocolate protein shakes. 

Anyways, to work off excess energy and to prevent being sore when we regain access to the free weights, my cellie and I do a series of callanetics everyday and even made a weight bag out of books and magazines for biceps and tricep curls, and to add some resistance to other exercise routines.

Still thinking about the letter I received, I tried to focus on my workout. Shotgun had the music playing on the television, which is a completely plastic thirteen inch clear flat screen that costs over two hundred dollars.  My own mother said my television cost more than the big screen she got Black Friday shopping last year. He turned the front speaker to face us and we faced each other at opposite ends of the cell. “Time for burpees,” I told him and he groaned. We jumped up in unison, squatted down, did a push up, then ended by standing back up. “One,” he said. Only one hundred and ninety nine to go.  We continued with our workout and an hour later, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, we stopped. 

Shotgun sat in the chair and I turned the music down.  I sat in my box, which is a three by two foot storage locker that was only about a foot deep. I kept all my commissary and my property, like books, in it. Technically we are supposed to store all of our stuff including our issued and purchased clothes but they usually don't push the issue unless you get a CO on a power trip, which sometimes happens. drinking water and breathing deeply. I looked up at Shotgun who gave me a questioning look. “ I think I am going to write to her tomorrow. I just don't know what I am going to say.” 

“Be yourself,” he said, “She already knows why you're here and still she wrote. Its all good man. Plus, she may have some pretty tits.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” said laughing, “Get the fuck out the way so I can take a bird bath.”

Related chapters

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    3

    Joel POV Shotgun moved over to sit on my bed and I draped a blanket like a curtain from the top bunk. I then stretched a sheet across the front of the cell, blocking most of the view from the cell door window in case a female CO walked by. I stripped off my clothes, soaped up my washcloth, and started to wash off starting with my upper body. My arms and chest were sore from today's work out and the veins in my forearms protruded as I glided over them with the washcloth. At least that is one benefit to this life, years of prison workouts have resulted in my body being covered in thick muscles, matching my height of six foot two. I am no longer the scrawny, uncoordinated adolescent I was when I was first sentenced to this hell hole. I also have a shit ton of tattoos and while some are truly exquisite works done by some amazing artists I've met along the way, others are just scrawls with prison ink completed out of boredom or as a favor for other inmates to practice on blank skin.

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    4

    Miranda POV “What are you doing here? I thought you had the week off, “ I tell my boss, Nancy, as she walks into my office. I was really looking forward to having a week without anyone bothering me. I can get so much more done without the constant distraction of small talk and meetings that take forever when a simple conversation would suffice. It's just like the coffee mug Amanda got me last year for Christmas says, “This meeting could have been an email.” Nancy is in her late forties and she's the type of woman who is fighting aging hard. She has her hair dyed an entirely too blonde color that doesn't match her features, and is always talking about which facial creams are reducing her wrinkles by adding collagen or Retin A or whatever new wonder chemical removes crows feet. Last year she swore by a cream that boasted they used human sperm in their secret anti-aging solution. Damn, Nancy, if you want sperm on your face I can think of a few easier ways to achieve that without

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    5

    Miranda POV My mind keeps wandering back to the letter I received even after I completed my nightly routine of taking care of my dog’s needs and chatting up Amanda so she doesnt run off and do something crazy, like call over some stranger she met on social media. Ever since her break up with her long term boyfriend, David, she has started meeting men through different social media apps and even some dating or hook-up apps. It doesn't really bother me. I mean, to each is his own and her sexual business is just that-her business. I’m a strong believer that no one should be shamed for who they are attracted to and/or if they have any kinks or fetishes as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. As long as it does not include any vulnerable populations or animals, then their preferences are their own to manage. I've got enough of my own life to manage, to worry about judging others. The only worry I have about Amanda is that sometimes her actions seem unsafe. Just last week

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    6

    Joel POV “You dicks ready to get out of lockdown?” the CO barks as he walks by finishing count. “Really?” Shotgun asks hopefully. Me, I never get too hopeful. When it comes to the COs in my pod, I’ll believe it when I see it. I’ve been disappointed more than once and have learned the hard way not to be too optimistic when it comes to promises from the ones in charge around here. Once the CO has passed, I flop back onto the bottom bunk and turn on a television show. Not so much for me, but Shotgun doesn't have a television and I know he will want to kill some time watching something before they hopefully let us out for breakfast. The entire prison is sectioned into pods that hold around eighty men. There are two floors of cells that circle an open area in the center. On the bottom floor, the center circle holds two phones, two televisions, and two kiosks where we can plug in a tablet and download games, music, and emails from a secure email site. The showers are also on the botto

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    7

    It almost feels like freedom, to be out of lockdown, to be walking around again, even if it's just in our own pod and around campus. It's dinner time now, Shotgun and I are standing in line for chow, talking while waiting for the doors to the cafeteria to open, when the COs escort in a large-built, light skinned cat. We both recognized him from other pods as it's pretty common to be moved around a lot. He goes by the name of Richmond. Shotgun and I both look at each other knowingly. The word is they moved him because someone in his pod set up his younger cousin, but we’re pretty sure the narc he’s looking for is in fact, in our pod. We know something is about to go down by the way he’s carrying himself and looking around. Richmond carries his property into the cell that is empty, continuing to look around. Shotgun and I shift ever so slightly to keep whatever is about to happen in front of us. We know he is part of a group of friends, or what the COs refer to as a ‘gang’ and a hand

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    8

    Miranda POV I’m happy to report I was able to make it through Thanksgiving without being further traumatized by scarecrows or anything with the words pumpkin-spiced attached. Thanksgiving turned out to be a nice lunch with my mom, step-dad, and brother. It was practically painless and really, who can complain when my mother’s blueberry pie is involved. I just got off work and ran to the grocery store and of course I am assaulted by the holiday regalia the second I walk through the sliding doors. I maneuver as fast as I can around a gray haired man wearing scraggly jeans, ringing a bell over his empty money bucket for a corporation that claims to be religious and non-profit, but I know better. They make the public believe they use the donated money to help poor children and recovering alcoholics when what they really use it for is to pay their executives fat Christmas bonuses. Shame on them pretending to be santa. ‘They should rename their whole corporation Satan's-Army’ I think

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    9

    Miranda POV Its true, I do feel comfortable writing to Joel; more so than I have ever felt with anyone else in person or via mail or rather email since I haven't actually written a hand letter since I was in second grade and Mrs. Sendrick wanted us to learn about the history of the United States Postal Service. I should be thankful to her now that I have the skills to properly write and letter and address an envelope, but I can't forget how she mocked me, calling me “poor baby Miranda who lost her new crayons.” Those crayons were the one thing I wanted for Christmas back then and she laughed when they went missing. I’m pretty sure mean Bobby White stole them as he had the whole sixty-four color pack mysteriously show up in his desk the next day and I seriously doubt that his parents bought him those crayons when he never even had a lunch. Even after he stole my crayons and called me “poor baby Miranda” for the entire year, I still snuck granola bars into his desk when he wasn't loo

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03
  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    10

    Joel POV We stopped and I looked up at the house from the front seat of the car. It was a traditional two-story colonial style home with a well manicured yard. I remember it was yellow because I wondered who on earth would purposely choose to paint their house yellow. My heart started to beat faster as we quietly opened the car door and stepped into the sidewalk. It's almost as if I could feel that something terrible was about to happen, yet I was powerless in stopping it. "His house is the second one up there." she said as she pointed to the house on the right. "What we are going to do is go up there and I will ring the doorbell. You stand off to the side where the bushes are so he can't see you. When he opens the door, I will ask if I can come in so we can talk. As I step in, I will turn him around, his back facing the open door and give him a hug. That is when you will come up behind him with the gun." The closer we got to his house, the more my heart raced and I started

    Last Updated : 2023-02-03

Latest chapter

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    50-Epilogue

    Joel POV Sometimes people get second chances. It is my experience that it is rare and doesn't at all follow the cliches we always hear about getting a do-over. ‘As long as you have breath in your body, you still have time for another chance..’ ‘Every moment of your life is a second chance…’ These are absolutely not true. Second chances take a lot more than just being able to suck in air. They take time and commitment to change. They take willpower and gratitude at the highest level. Often, people are given a lot more than just second chances, they are given chance, after chance, after chance. Then, after repeated forgiveness from others, they feel entitled and rarely change, leaving their people frustrated and regretful. Not me! I was given an opportunity for a life, for love and I knew exactly what was offered. That is why I grabbed it with both hands and refused to let go. I refused to let her go. Some may even say I have become dependent upon Miranda for my happiness. To

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    49

    Joel POV It has been a busy week. Since I arrived on short notice, Miranda was unable to get time off work because they are finishing up her current project apparently with some sort of rush due to funding. I know she will do great, and she can easily get a new job with how smart she is, but she is nervous, nonetheless. As for me, I didn't want to get stuck sitting in front of the television waiting for her to get home every day so I called up Jim’s Construction after learning he was having trouble with current employees calling out. I told him that I was available to help for the week and he took me up on my offer and I've been busy every day. He does mostly small jobs-building sheds and shops, home additions, and even some decks. I wasn't sure Jim would want me to work for him after learning about my past, but he was supportive, mentioning that his brother had spent some time in prison and that everyone deserves a second chance. I also had to make sure I mentioned it to Mr. Bar

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    48

    Miranda POV I wake up early and dig around in Joel’s suitcase for something comfortable to wear. Settling on one of his oversized Virginia Cavaliers hoodies, I throw on my stretch pants and head down to the lobby. If I’m going to make it through this day, I am definitely going to require high doses of caffeine. Since Joel is here in Alaska and there is no doubt that his place in my life is not faltering, he needs to meet my people-at the very least my mom, my brother, and Amanda. I text Amanda to meet me at my house at one o’clock. That will give us plenty of time to check out, grab some breakfast for Joel, and get back to my house to meet her. Then, I figure I might as well kill two birds with one stone, so I text Mik as well, inviting him over for a late lunch. I know he’ll come if there’s food involved, and I can grab a pack of tacos from the food truck that parks down the road from my house. The hotel’s tea collection is weak, and their coffee is stale, but I guess it will d

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    47

    Joel POV I wanted to just head straight to the airport and run home but I just couldn't do it so I found myself driving to the hotel I had listed on my travel pass and checking in at the front desk. I felt exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and even physically from I can't even remember how many hours of uncomfortable traveling over the last twenty-four-hour period. I wasn't mad. Well, maybe I was mad at myself for trusting someone again. But not mad at Miranda; I don't know that I'd feel differently if I were in her shoes. “Checking in. I have a reservation. Joel Johnson.,” I say as I approach the front desk of the hotel lobby. I look around and notice the hotel is fairly nice with a definite Alaska feel to it. The furniture is rugged with red plaid accent pillows and the main centerpiece is a giant stuffed grizzly bear. I might be impressed if I wasn't so tired. There’s a kid behind the desk and I’m guessing he can't be over eighteen. “Without looking up from the computer he

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    46

    Miranda POV Joel was right. I had known about the crimes he committed when I reached out to him, and I had no right to hold them against him now. Furthermore, I had knowingly built a relationship and made a commitment to that relationship knowing all the while I did not have the details of his past. How can I just turn my back on someone who means so much without even getting the whole story? Without fighting for the relationship, I swore meant so much to me. One thing I have always loved about myself was that part that can be nonjudgmental and open to other's experiences. I have always believed that we are each on our own journey and that theirs is not mine to judge. We all have different things to learn in this life and it's not my responsibility to decide what is wrong or right/good or bad. Moreso, it's my job as a fellow human being to support people through their journey, no matter how much I disagree or am confused by their decisions along the way. Now that I know the circ

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    45

    Joel POV I could barely see straight, and my hands started shaking as I formed them into fists. I hadn't been this furious since that day everything had happened. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you or anyone else! Especially not your nosy bitch friend,” I say, raising my voice. “It is supposed to be you and me against the world. That's what you fucking told me, and I guess I was stupid enough to believe you.” Miranda backed away from me and I could see a glimmer of fear in her eyes, and I immediately regretted my initial reaction. I never wanted her to be scared of me. I had never forgiven myself for what had happened. So, how could I ever expect her to understand or forgive me when I can't even forgive myself? I tried to bring it up to her a few times, but when I did, I only felt shame and guilt. Now here I was, scaring her and for what? Because her nosy best friend had filled her head with bullshit, and she read some damned articles that were only half truths? I rememb

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    44

    Miranda POV I sit up in my bed and am thankful that it's the weekend. It's been a long, hard week at work, and I can use both the physical and mental rest. I’m even more thankful that I am finally getting through each day without constant reminders of Joel and even though I think I am a long way from being over him, I am able to function a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I hear a knock on the front door, Beebs barks, and I move into the living room, curious to see who could be at my house this early on a Saturday. Thinking it’s probably the local neighborhood kids trying to earn some extra money cleaning up yards, I throw on some shorts under my long tee shirt just to make sure they don’t get an eye full. However, when I open the door, I am not met by the local preteens. Instead, the very reason for my recent misery stands before me. I stare, shocked, until I can finally form words, “Joel, what are you doing here?” I should probably be scared. I mean what kind of psych

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    43

    Joel POV I sat in my truck breathing deeply. It was about ten minutes before my appointment and I was collecting my thoughts. I knew without a doubt that this is what I wanted but it could very well backfire. I had requested this appointment to request an out of state pass, but I knew even without it, one way or another, I would be going to talk to Miranda. Yeah, I know it’s risky and such behavior may get me locked up again, but I can't say I care much anymore. I’ve tried to call a few times but she has not accepted my calls or returned my texts. I need to talk to her, to apologize and if she doesn't forgive me then I will move on. I at least deserve a chance to say my piece. I pulled down the sun visor and looked at the backside, where I kept the picture of Miranda clipped. I never told her that I kept her with me and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because It was cheesy but more likely because it was difficult for me to open up, to care for someone and allow them to care for me. I

  • Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series    42

    Miranda POV Amanda pulled her phone out and pulled up the article she had saved in her search history. I stared in shock as I read the newspaper headline “Boyfriend of Alecia Pike sentenced 22-years for Manslaughter.” Wait. What am I looking at? I’m confused at first but it becomes clearer as I continue to read, “Joel Johnson, boyfriend of slain woman received a sentence of twenty-two years in the murder of Alecia Pike in the First Judicial District Court of Virginia today after a week-long sentencing hearing. The extended hearing allowed the many victims and families of the victims in this case to testify for the court’s consideration. It was reported that the second victim, a minor in the case, who suffered a first-degree assault at the hands of the assailant was also present in the court….” I could not physically rad any longer as I felt bile begin to creep into my airway. “Where did you get this?” I asked Amanda, still hoping it was some sort of mistake. Or a joke, this had to

Scan code to read on App
DMCA.com Protection Status