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Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 15
Joel POV I stared at the email. They had moved the date up on Miranda's conference and she was going to be here in two days. I felt his heart pounding in his chest, from excitement and nervousness. Showing any emotion here was a weakness, especially emotions attached to a woman, so I tried not to let it show in my face or body language. I have recently started communicating with Miranda via emails, which is so much faster than that of the postal service. Although, I do like getting handwritten letters as I can read them at any time and not just when I am at the computer. They had recently brought the email function to the institutions, expediting communication but there was a catch. The emails do not work exactly like regular ones on the outside. Our emails go through like a filter. If certain trigger words or phrases are used, then the email gets held up and reviewed versus perused. Also, if any pictures are attached, then the email is held up so the picture can be reviewed for
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 16
Miranda POV The conference is every bit of boredom and stuffy-suit-productions as I assumed it would be. Nancy has been flirting non stop for three days with every single man who crossed our path and I have heard enough fake laughter to last me a lifetime. I have personally seen her pass out her number twenty six times under the guise of ‘helping establish a program similar to ours’, passing Amanda’s original guess of twenty five yesterday afternoon. Not to mention, those are times I actually witnessed the number exchange with my own eyes and ears. One can only assume that many more men have received such invitations. We were able to describe the indigenous language revitalization project we were working on and how the grant funding we received under the Department of Education and Borough of Indian Affairs had helped fund our project and the initial benefits that we have seen in the indigenous communities to date. Along with preserving native languages, the goal is to unite the c
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 17
Josh POV I slept like shit and was dragging ass all morning. "What's up man?" Shotgun inquired as soon as we woke up. "You were kinda quiet last night." I don't tell Shotgun, the last thing I need is his razzing. But yeah, I tossed and turned all night. "Just thinking about this visit with Miranda. Worried she won't like me."Shotgun kinda chuckled but gave me a look like he knew the reality of that statement. I can say now that I’m basically a good guy. Minimally, too good for prison but it hadn't always been like that. Presenting yourself in person is so different from doing it in an email or phone call. The years inside also put a type of edge on you. You can see it in someone's eyes who has done any lengthy amount of time. Someone once noted that they were like a cake in the oven. Needing and ready to come out. If they stayed in any longer they would burn and would be no good. That is kinda the worry. Not to mention, it's hard to impress a girl when you have nothing to impress
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 18
Miranda POV I was facing Joel and trying desperately to not stare appreciatively at the swell in his pants that I’m sure I had caused when we kissed and pressed myself tightly against him. My cheeks burned red and my core clenched as I glanced up and saw the crooked smirk on his face, catching me staring at his package. He shifted purposefully, forcing his pants to tighten against his harness, making the outline more prominent and I felt my panties dampen. "Like what you see?" interrupted where my thoughts were taking me and now my whole face and neck felt like they were on fire. "Its okay baby cause as you can tell, I really like what I see."I really didn't know how to respond to such forwardness, I had never been with a man this assertive and to be honest I was always a little shy anyways. I thought he said he was nervous as hell but he sure didn't act like it. He sat there and spoke as if he was quite sure of himself and while I was turned on, I was also confused. Is this just
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 19
Miranda POV My visit with Joel can be described as nothing more than confusing. I knew that I liked him. Hell, I even caught myself calling him my prison boyfriend sometimes. Still, in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself that this visit may in fact, put things into perspective for me. I could finally quit feeling like a highschool girl crushing on the bad boy who keeps getting suspended so you can't even stare at him in world history class. I’ll end up forming a whole relationship in my head, based on limited contact and then get frustrated when it doesn't work out the way I want it to. Because that is exactly what is happening here, I'm starting to fall for a man I can never have because he is locked up in prison for an undetermined amount of time and there is absolutely nothing I can do about that fact. Everything is limited and under the control of others, including our phone calls. However, after seeing him, it only made my high school girl crush problems worse. Not
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 20
Joel POV I lay in my bed, thinking of my near perfect visit with Miranda from the kiss to the casual conversation and everything in between. It's difficult to even describe in words the feeling that I have lacked for so long. I guess the clearest way is that I feel peaceful and happy. Can it really be that simple? Of course, when something good happens it is always followed by something bad and my peaceful disposition is rudely interrupted by flashbacks of the past. I heard his voice and I instantly felt anger fill my veins, remembering what she had told me about the abuse she had suffered at his hand. She squealed and I came around the bush only to find him facing me with his arms around her in a hug. His eyes got wide as he saw the gun and he instantly relaxed his hug on her. She slipped from his arms as I raised the pistol, pointing it to his face. I felt like a hero as I drew back my arm and hit him across the head with the weapon. He fell to the ground as I stepped in and sl
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 21
Joel POV After a few hours of writing, scratching out what I had just written, and just simply planning how I would convey what Ineeded to convey in such a small provided space, I set the pen down and laid back. It was amazing how mentally exhausting that was. I would still wait for Shotgun to come back in and review what I had written before transferring it to the official form. In the meantime, thoughts of what he had written will swirl around in my head because I had a tendency to overthink shit. The questions were simple enough: Along with the first one there was Discuss issues surrounding your crime. Do you admit guilt of your offense(s)? Do you have feelings of remorse? What have I learned since my incarceration? Why should you be granted parole? Why is your parole plan good? And the section for additional comments. However, the answers were so much more complex. On top of all this, I need to make a decision of whether or not to tell Miranda that I am up for parole. I ha
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 22
“Amanda, he did not kill his girlfriend! I already read the charges. It was probably like he hit someone while speeding or he had a gun that accidentally went off. That is what manslaughter is. It's not murder. I looked it up already,” I plead, “So turn the computer off. I need you to be supportive. It's not like I have anyone else in my life that supports my decisions and this is important to me. He is the only person I have felt a connection to in a long time. Don't take that from me. Please.” “Oh, God. You don't have to get so emotional,” raising her body from the computer chair and meandering into the kitchen. She grabs a bottle of Pinot from the counter. I'm not much of a wine drinker but I always seem to have plenty around. A couple years ago Nancy had a wine party and I won some wine of the month club membership so every quarter I get delivered a box of wine. Who am I to complain about free booze, but I always wonder when this prize expires. Am I just going to get free w
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Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 50-Epilogue
Joel POV Sometimes people get second chances. It is my experience that it is rare and doesn't at all follow the cliches we always hear about getting a do-over. ‘As long as you have breath in your body, you still have time for another chance..’ ‘Every moment of your life is a second chance…’ These are absolutely not true. Second chances take a lot more than just being able to suck in air. They take time and commitment to change. They take willpower and gratitude at the highest level. Often, people are given a lot more than just second chances, they are given chance, after chance, after chance. Then, after repeated forgiveness from others, they feel entitled and rarely change, leaving their people frustrated and regretful. Not me! I was given an opportunity for a life, for love and I knew exactly what was offered. That is why I grabbed it with both hands and refused to let go. I refused to let her go. Some may even say I have become dependent upon Miranda for my happiness. To
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 49
Joel POV It has been a busy week. Since I arrived on short notice, Miranda was unable to get time off work because they are finishing up her current project apparently with some sort of rush due to funding. I know she will do great, and she can easily get a new job with how smart she is, but she is nervous, nonetheless. As for me, I didn't want to get stuck sitting in front of the television waiting for her to get home every day so I called up Jim’s Construction after learning he was having trouble with current employees calling out. I told him that I was available to help for the week and he took me up on my offer and I've been busy every day. He does mostly small jobs-building sheds and shops, home additions, and even some decks. I wasn't sure Jim would want me to work for him after learning about my past, but he was supportive, mentioning that his brother had spent some time in prison and that everyone deserves a second chance. I also had to make sure I mentioned it to Mr. Bar
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 48
Miranda POV I wake up early and dig around in Joel’s suitcase for something comfortable to wear. Settling on one of his oversized Virginia Cavaliers hoodies, I throw on my stretch pants and head down to the lobby. If I’m going to make it through this day, I am definitely going to require high doses of caffeine. Since Joel is here in Alaska and there is no doubt that his place in my life is not faltering, he needs to meet my people-at the very least my mom, my brother, and Amanda. I text Amanda to meet me at my house at one o’clock. That will give us plenty of time to check out, grab some breakfast for Joel, and get back to my house to meet her. Then, I figure I might as well kill two birds with one stone, so I text Mik as well, inviting him over for a late lunch. I know he’ll come if there’s food involved, and I can grab a pack of tacos from the food truck that parks down the road from my house. The hotel’s tea collection is weak, and their coffee is stale, but I guess it will d
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 47
Joel POV I wanted to just head straight to the airport and run home but I just couldn't do it so I found myself driving to the hotel I had listed on my travel pass and checking in at the front desk. I felt exhausted, mentally, emotionally, and even physically from I can't even remember how many hours of uncomfortable traveling over the last twenty-four-hour period. I wasn't mad. Well, maybe I was mad at myself for trusting someone again. But not mad at Miranda; I don't know that I'd feel differently if I were in her shoes. “Checking in. I have a reservation. Joel Johnson.,” I say as I approach the front desk of the hotel lobby. I look around and notice the hotel is fairly nice with a definite Alaska feel to it. The furniture is rugged with red plaid accent pillows and the main centerpiece is a giant stuffed grizzly bear. I might be impressed if I wasn't so tired. There’s a kid behind the desk and I’m guessing he can't be over eighteen. “Without looking up from the computer he
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 46
Miranda POV Joel was right. I had known about the crimes he committed when I reached out to him, and I had no right to hold them against him now. Furthermore, I had knowingly built a relationship and made a commitment to that relationship knowing all the while I did not have the details of his past. How can I just turn my back on someone who means so much without even getting the whole story? Without fighting for the relationship, I swore meant so much to me. One thing I have always loved about myself was that part that can be nonjudgmental and open to other's experiences. I have always believed that we are each on our own journey and that theirs is not mine to judge. We all have different things to learn in this life and it's not my responsibility to decide what is wrong or right/good or bad. Moreso, it's my job as a fellow human being to support people through their journey, no matter how much I disagree or am confused by their decisions along the way. Now that I know the circ
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 45
Joel POV I could barely see straight, and my hands started shaking as I formed them into fists. I hadn't been this furious since that day everything had happened. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you or anyone else! Especially not your nosy bitch friend,” I say, raising my voice. “It is supposed to be you and me against the world. That's what you fucking told me, and I guess I was stupid enough to believe you.” Miranda backed away from me and I could see a glimmer of fear in her eyes, and I immediately regretted my initial reaction. I never wanted her to be scared of me. I had never forgiven myself for what had happened. So, how could I ever expect her to understand or forgive me when I can't even forgive myself? I tried to bring it up to her a few times, but when I did, I only felt shame and guilt. Now here I was, scaring her and for what? Because her nosy best friend had filled her head with bullshit, and she read some damned articles that were only half truths? I rememb
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 44
Miranda POV I sit up in my bed and am thankful that it's the weekend. It's been a long, hard week at work, and I can use both the physical and mental rest. I’m even more thankful that I am finally getting through each day without constant reminders of Joel and even though I think I am a long way from being over him, I am able to function a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. I hear a knock on the front door, Beebs barks, and I move into the living room, curious to see who could be at my house this early on a Saturday. Thinking it’s probably the local neighborhood kids trying to earn some extra money cleaning up yards, I throw on some shorts under my long tee shirt just to make sure they don’t get an eye full. However, when I open the door, I am not met by the local preteens. Instead, the very reason for my recent misery stands before me. I stare, shocked, until I can finally form words, “Joel, what are you doing here?” I should probably be scared. I mean what kind of psych
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 43
Joel POV I sat in my truck breathing deeply. It was about ten minutes before my appointment and I was collecting my thoughts. I knew without a doubt that this is what I wanted but it could very well backfire. I had requested this appointment to request an out of state pass, but I knew even without it, one way or another, I would be going to talk to Miranda. Yeah, I know it’s risky and such behavior may get me locked up again, but I can't say I care much anymore. I’ve tried to call a few times but she has not accepted my calls or returned my texts. I need to talk to her, to apologize and if she doesn't forgive me then I will move on. I at least deserve a chance to say my piece. I pulled down the sun visor and looked at the backside, where I kept the picture of Miranda clipped. I never told her that I kept her with me and I wasn't sure why. Maybe because It was cheesy but more likely because it was difficult for me to open up, to care for someone and allow them to care for me. I
Finally Free: Book 1 Locked Up Lovers Series 42
Miranda POV Amanda pulled her phone out and pulled up the article she had saved in her search history. I stared in shock as I read the newspaper headline “Boyfriend of Alecia Pike sentenced 22-years for Manslaughter.” Wait. What am I looking at? I’m confused at first but it becomes clearer as I continue to read, “Joel Johnson, boyfriend of slain woman received a sentence of twenty-two years in the murder of Alecia Pike in the First Judicial District Court of Virginia today after a week-long sentencing hearing. The extended hearing allowed the many victims and families of the victims in this case to testify for the court’s consideration. It was reported that the second victim, a minor in the case, who suffered a first-degree assault at the hands of the assailant was also present in the court….” I could not physically rad any longer as I felt bile begin to creep into my airway. “Where did you get this?” I asked Amanda, still hoping it was some sort of mistake. Or a joke, this had to
