8 Torn Between Two Hearts

Sara***

The night buzzed with energy, the flashing lights and pulsing music weaving into a blur as Sam’s hand settled on my back. His touch was steady, like an anchor in the chaos around us, the rhythm of his thumb tracing gentle circles against the fabric of my dress. I couldn’t help but lean into it, letting myself melt into his warmth, but even as I did, something in me stirred uneasily.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sam’s voice was soft, the concern in his eyes pulling me back from the edge of my thoughts. His thumb brushed against the back of my neck, a tender gesture that sent a shiver through me.

“I’m fine,” I whispered, though the lie sat heavy in my chest. I wasn’t fine. How could I be when thoughts of Max kept haunting me, even in this moment with Sam?

Sam shifted, his lips brushing my temple in a soft kiss. His breath, warm and steady, made the ache in my chest feel just a little less heavy. “You don’t have to hide anything from me, you know that?”

His words wrapped around me like a protective blanket, and for a moment, I almost wanted to believe him, wanted to let myself be lost in this. But my heart clenched as I thought of the ghost of Max that lingered in the back of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to push him away.

“I know,” I murmured, feeling the weight of his embrace as he pulled me closer. His arms around me felt like home, like a place I wanted to stay, but my thoughts kept drifting. The warmth of his touch made me want to forget everything—but I couldn’t.

“I love being with you, Sara,” he said softly, his voice low and tender, his lips grazing the side of my neck. “You deserve to feel good, to be happy.”

My breath caught in my throat. I could feel his sincerity in every word, and yet, the emptiness in my chest refused to leave. Sam was here, holding me, loving me—and yet, my mind wandered back to the man I couldn’t seem to shake. The man who still owned a part of my heart.

“I know,” I whispered, swallowing hard, my heart racing in my chest as I fought the knot that had formed there. I leaned into him, but even as I did, the pull of the past was there, just behind the warmth Sam offered.

His lips found mine in a kiss—soft, patient, a reassurance that settled over me like a balm. But even as I responded, my mind flickered to Max—his laugh, his touch, the way he made me feel like I was the only person in the world. How could I feel this for Sam when part of me was still tethered to someone else?

Sam pulled back just enough to look at me, his gaze searching, waiting. “I’m glad you’re here with me,” he said, his voice laced with something deeper than just affection. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, Sara."

My chest tightened, the guilt settling heavy over me. Sam had been there for me in ways I hadn’t known I needed, and yet, the truth was, I couldn’t shake the past. I wanted to—wanted to be everything Sam deserved—but every touch, every kind word from him, reminded me of what I had given up, what I still longed for.

“I don’t deserve you, Sam,” I whispered, my voice trembling despite my best efforts to keep it steady.

Sam’s eyes softened, his hand reaching to touch mine. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and the warmth of it sent a wave of emotion crashing through me. “You deserve the world, Sara,” he said, his voice low, “and I want to give it to you. But if you still want to choose between me and Max, I understand.”

The words sliced through me, each one making the guilt burn deeper. I wasn’t ready to choose. Not yet. And yet, I had to make a decision.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I leaned into him, pressing my face to his chest, the weight of the decision hanging over me. "You are so bad for my heart, Sam," I whispered, the tears slipping free despite myself.

“I promise to always protect it, Sara,” he whispered, his voice steady and calm. “Love me or not, I will always be here for you.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the sincerity in his embrace, the steady rhythm of his heart beneath my cheek. The battle inside me wasn’t over—not by a long shot—but in this moment, I could feel a faint flicker of something I hadn’t allowed myself to feel in so long: peace.

"And after Max returned to your life, him claiming he wants you, he loves... you," Sam paused, his grip tightening around me. "Today at the party, I saw the way he looked at you, the way he tried to pull you away from me. The way he was dancing with you, his touch on your skin. It was clear he still has feelings for you, and I can't ignore that." Sam's words sent a shiver down my spine, his words echoing in my mind long after he had spoken. I knew I needed to confront Max about his feelings before they caused any more confusion or hurt between us.

“I choose you, Sam,” I whispered, my voice barely audible against his chest. “Even if Max wants me back, I choose you.”

Sam’s arms tightened around me, but when he pulled back to look at me, there was a flicker of something uncertain in his eyes. “So you don’t love Max anymore?” he asked, his voice soft but cutting through me with a quiet sharpness.

I shook my head slowly, the weight of my decision pressing down on me. “The man who you sacrificed so much for, the man who you left just for him to be successful, and the man who you have waited for all this time..." He trailed off, his voice tinged with the quiet sting of hope and hurt.

I stared up at Sam, feeling my heart shatter in a thousand pieces. “I can’t lie to you now... I still have feelings for Max; I love him.”

Sam's smile faded, and for the briefest moment, I saw a flicker of something painful pass through his eyes. But instead of pulling away, he nodded, his voice steady as he said, “It’s okay. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy,” I said, my voice cracking. Tears threatened to spill again, but I held them back. “With you, just… give me time to sort out my feelings.”

He nodded, his face softening, though the ache in his eyes didn’t go away. “Take the time you need. Just know that I’ll be here, waiting for you. But you have to make a choice, Sara. I’ve stood in the shadows long enough, waiting for you to choose me, and I can’t keep living like that."

The weight of his words settled over me like a blanket, warm yet heavy. I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.

Sam’s hand lingered on mine for a moment longer, his touch gentle but firm. “I just want you to be happy, Sara. And if that means letting go of me, I’ll do it—but it will hurt." His words were soft but final, the unspoken truth between us clear.

As he pulled away, I felt the coldness in the space between us. I wanted to hold onto him, to tell him I could make a choice now, but I couldn’t lie. The battle in my heart was far from over. And Sam knew it. He had to.