Chapter three

Devon

I was sitting on the floor of my shower, sobbing uncontrollably as I hugged my arms around my stomach. I'm trying hard to sift through my feelings and I keep losing the battle. I'm torn from wanting Jennifer to get her memory back to developing feelings for Miss James.

There are a few things standing in our way. One, she's my teacher. Two, I'm pregnant. Three, Jennifer could get her memory back. Four, she misses her wife Alexis. The way she broke down yesterday about missing her, how do I express how I feel? Could it be because of my pregnancy hormones?

God, why does this have to be so hard? Why send me someone to love, then take their memory? Why send me someone else to love, but can't exactly have? Please stop torturing me.

Suddenly the shower water stops and warm hands gingerly help me to my feet. I look up and meet eyes with Miss James. Her eyes held concern as she wraps me in a towel. Before either of us could leave the bathroom, I walk in her arms and place my forehead on her shoulder. Her arms wrap around me and I shutter a calming breath.

"Devon, are you okay to go to the appointment," she asks in a soothing whisper.

"I just need a minute, please," I beg in a choked whisper.

"Of course," she says in a soothing tone and wraps her arms around me in a comforting embrace.

The smell of her perfume was comforting and I turned my face in her neck so I could get more of its calming scent. After a moment I look up at her and she wipes away the remaining tears. "Are you okay now," she asks in a soothing whisper and I nod lightly.

"Thank you," I say quietly and look down at the towel wrapped around me. I feel my face heat and say embarrassed, "Sorry you had to see me like this."

She lifts my chin for me to meet her eyes and says in a soothing whisper, "I didn't look."

I nod lightly and we stood there, holding eye contact. Her phone ringing breaks our connection and she pulls her phone from her pocket. "It's your mother. She called me when you didn't answer your phone," she says softly as she answers it. "Hi Lucia, it's Erica... No, she's okay. She was in the shower... I'll bring her by after the appointment."

She ends the call and was turning to leave my bathroom. "Miss James," I call out to her and she turns to me. "Thank you for helping me get to my appointment."

She nods with a light smile and says, "You can call me Erica. We're not in school."

I smile lightly as she leaves me to get dressed. I couldn't stop thinking about her helping me out of the shower. She said she didn't see anything. Was that to protect my feelings or did she really not look at me?

I shake my head of my thoughts and walk into my bedroom. Erica was sitting on my bed, looking at my last ultrasound from the night of spring fling. I grab my comb and start pulling it through my curls, leaving her to have her moment. After hearing her story about her wife, I'm not sure if she got to see her ultrasound printout.

My comb got stuck in the back of my head and warm hands gingerly helped me untangle my hair from the comb. I feel the comb slip from my fingers and look back at Erica. She was sitting on my bed and pats the spot in front of her. Tears fill my eyes because even Jennifer never offered to help comb my hair.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you on that last pull," she asks with concern and I shake my head.

I sit in front of her as she gently combs my hair. I was finding it soothing to have someone else help with my hair. My mom has been working extra hours and can't help me like she normally does. Jennifer would just laugh as I fought with the comb and never helped untangle it. Most of the time I just let it go and threw it in a bun.

I could feel Erica's fingers combing through my hair and let out a content sigh. Just as I thought she was finished, she took some of my hair and started braiding it. Just enough so it was out of my face. I smell my leave in conditioner as she massages it through the rest of my hair.

"All done," she says, snapping me from my thoughts. She chuckles at me jumping slightly and asks, "What did I put you to sleep?"

"Almost, it was relaxing to have help for a change. My mom has been busy working to save for the baby. Jennifer would just laugh at me," I say quietly and look back at her. "Thank you for helping with my hair."

"You're welcome. Alexis also has thick curly hair and I helped her with it," she says quietly with a sad smile. "We should get you to your appointment or we'll be late."

We walk down to her car and as we were about to get in Jennifer pulled into my driveway. She gets out and looks at me confused. "You live here," she asks and I nod hesitantly, looking at her confused as to why she was here. "My phone went off with a reminder to take Devon to her appointment. Is that you?"

"I'm running late. Miss James was taking me to get school supplies for at home tutoring. You clearly don't know who I am so there's no need for you to be here. I don't want trouble with Jessica," I choke quietly and climb inside Erica's car before anything else is said.

I watch as she drives away and break into uncontrolled sobs. I feel Erica get in the driver's seat and takes me in her arms. I hold onto her as she starts stroking my hair. I find it soothing and slide to the middle of the front seat.

She rubs my back as we drive to my doctor's office. "Until she asked if I lived there and to confirm who I am, I thought she remembered. I thought she remembered," I choke between broken sobs and hide my face in her neck.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this," Erica says in a soothing whisper. "I'm here if you need me Devon."

Hearing her say that was comforting. I shutter a calming breath, but stay wrapped in her arm. Soon we were pulling into the doctor's office and I didn't want to let her go. "Devon," she asks with concern and I let out a defeated sigh.

I slide over to the passenger side and get out of the car. I start walking towards the door when I feel Erica wrap her arm around my waist. "We'll get through this, okay," she says in a soothing tone and I nod lightly.

Erica

Devon has been quiet since her breakdown about thinking Jennifer had her memory back. She didn't even want to let me go. I can't begin to imagine how she must feel right now. I've been mourning my pregnant wife for the last year. Here, Devon is pregnant and her girlfriend lost all memory of her and their baby. Having to see her constantly must be hard.

Her doctor, I believe, comes out and looks at Devon with concern. She looks at me and asks, "Where's Jennifer? Who are you?"

Devon starts laughing as tears roll down her cheeks. "Jennifer won't be attending any further appointments. You see? We went to the school dance and then she got ran over by a psycho. Her memory was wiped clean and there's a strong possibility it won't come back.

"Can we just see how the baby is doing so I can go home? Please," she pleads through broken sobs.

I take her in my arms and stroke her hair knowing it's been the only thing that calms her lately. Her hands grip at my sides and I knew she wasn't letting me go. I place my lips near her ear and say in a soothing whisper, "It's Friday, let's get your appointment over with and I'll take you home. We can do your studies tomorrow. Okay?"

She looks up at me and asks between calming breaths, "You'll stay with me?"

I nod lightly and wiped her eyes. I help her to her feet and we quietly follow her doctor to the examination room. I help Devon up in the examination chair and she exposes her stomach that had a slight bump. It's not noticeable with her shirt and because I kept my eyes away from her until I had the towel around her.

I feel her grab my hand and look at her. Her eyes were focused to her left, I was on her right. I looked in the direction she was and saw she was looking at the monitor. Her baby was at the center of her womb and moments later the most beautiful sound filled my ears. The heart beat.

I looked back at Devon and she had tears rolling down her cheeks. I heard my phone receive a message and knew it was most likely her mother. The room falls silent beside Devon's occasional sniffle. I look at her doctor and she gives Devon a sympathetic smile. "Your baby is healthy at nine weeks along. I'll see you next month for a follow up appointment for the baby."

Devon doesn't say anything, slides off the examination chair and pulls me out of the doctor's office. Once we reach my car, she breaks into uncontrolled sobs. I didn't know what to do. The one person who could help Devon cheer up has no memory of her.

I open the driver's side door and help her in knowing she would just slide to the middle anyway. As predicted she slid to the middle so I could get in. I get the door closed and she lays her head in my lap. I start the car and pull out of the parking lot. I stroke her hair as I drive towards her mother's diner

Her sniffles calm down and I look down at her at a red light. She was asleep and I didn't blame her. She's emotionally drained and pregnant. I push forward as the light turns green and see the diner coming up on the right. I pull into a parking space and my phone started ringing. I quickly answer it before she woke up.

"Where are you," Lucia asks with worry in her tone.

"Sorry Lucia," I say quietly. "Devon has been emotional. We just pulled up outside, but she's asleep."

"Thank you for being there for her. She's been crying herself to sleep since it happened," Lucia chokes quietly. I hear her sniffle through the phone as she says quietly, "I'll be right out."

The call ends and moments later Lucia walks over to my car. I roll my window down and she looks in to see Devon asleep in my lap. "My daughter may be hurt and confused, but she likes you," Lucia says with a smile and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"Should I take her home," I ask quietly and Devon hugs to my thigh in her sleep.

Lucia chuckles as she walks around to the passenger side and opens the door. She kneels on the floorboard in front of the passenger seat and gently shakes Devon. She murmurs something in Spanish and Devon's eyes pop open. Lucia starts laughing as Devon springs up into a sitting position with her face red.

She looks at me before quickly looking away and pushing her mother out of the car. They started quietly arguing in Spanish but I didn't understand any of it. I decided to end it and place my hand on Devon's shoulder. She lets out a calming breath with just that simple gesture and Lucia raises an eyebrow at me.

The three of us walk inside and Devon gets a hug from Enrique. He shakes my hand and brings us to a table. Devon slides in the booth next to me instead of next to her mother. She rests her head on my shoulder and lets out a content sigh. "I just want chicken tenders and fries today Enrique, please," she says quietly without looking at the menu.

Lucia gets her usual and Enrique looks at me. "Whatever you're bringing Devon is fine, thank you," I say quietly and he walks away.

Lucia reaches her hands across the table, looking at Devon. Devon places one hand in her mother's never leaving my shoulder. "Talk to me Mija," Lucia says with concern as tears fill her eyes. "Besides Jennifer, what is bothering you?"

"She pulled into our driveway as Erica was about to take me to my appointment," Devon chokes quietly as tears roll down her cheeks. "For a split second I thought she had her memory back. But she had to question if I lived there and to confirm my name.

"Why is God punishing me? I'd rather she died than not remember me or our baby. It hurts to look at her Mama," she says in a wavering whisper and turns her face in my chest.

She pulls her hand from Lucia's and holds onto me like her life depends on it. I met with Lucia and she was devastated by what Devon said. She gives me a pleading look and motions to Devon. "I asked those same questions when Alexis died, planning a dinner to reveal the pregnancy. I asked him those questions when my parents died in the same accident I survived," I choke quietly and place my hand over the slight bump of her stomach. "He may have taken her memory, but he left you a part of her. It's more than he ever left me."

She shutters a calming breath, but doesn't move. I looked back at Lucia and she looked relieved. "Thank you," she mouths to me and I nod lightly.