Chapter 011

༺ KAEL'S POV.

Death…

The whole place smelled like death and it made my stomach coil in disgust.

I took a deep breath and walked into the room which I had dreaded entering for a week. The week I had once shared with her…Thalia.

The moment I stepped in, the scent that hit my nostrils almost brought me to my knees - literally.

Lavender.

The room still smelled like Thalia, still felt like Thalia...like she had just been here a few seconds, like she wasn't dead.

My heart clenched but I breathed through the pain I had been trying so hard to keep down for days, and stepped further into the room trying so hard to not glance around. I only came here for one thing - Thalia's journal.

But coming here, into Thalia's room was more painful than I'd ever imagined it'd be.

Because it brought back so many things, memories that I didn't want to recall, that I wasn't ready to face. Because facing them would mean me welcoming guilt to mince with the pain I already felt.

Facing these memories would mean accepting the harsh fact - That I was the reason behind my wife's death.

I shuddered, went to the drawer and took the journal I was looking for, before rushing out of the room without a second glance, as if there was a fire on my ass.

Maybe one day, I'd be brave enough to come to this room and squarely face what I run from…but for now, I'd just be a coward.

~~~~~~~~~

I couldn't stop the tear that slipped down my eyes as I stared at the pages of the journal, at the one entry which had caught my attention most.

∆ Dear Journal…∆

Lately I have been feeling so much like the devil's concubine herself.

I have no idea why, but a whole amount of guilt has been eating me up.

Perhaps it's this new phase of life that I'm about to enter - maybe that's what's making me reflect on my life and checking if I really do deserve this…what's about to come.

Do I?

After what I have done?

After I have so unfairly taken my little sister's happiness away from her?

Sighs.

Perhaps I do not deserve this.

But maybe this could also represent a second chance to make things right… to right the wrongs not just for my sister but for Kael.

It hurts me everytime I see him so empty and broken. I believe now that he truly loves Seraphina.

I will make things right for us all…so that I can know that I'd be the right mother for my baby.

Oh did I forget to mention?

I AM PREGNANT!!!

Yay me!

My fingers were trembling as I flipped over the page but I couldn't make out any more words from the way my vision had become so blurry with tears.

So I closed the journal and placed it carefully on the table like a fragile glass as I struggled to control my breathing.

Thalia was pregnant.

Thalia was…carrying my child when she died…when she was murdered by those monsters. She had been carrying my baby.

I would have been a father.

So not only did I lose my wife, I had also lost a child I didn't get to know at all.

My heart Clenched tightfully like a string fist was holding it and I had to grip the edge of the table to stop myself from falling.

Goddess above…

Not only am I responsible for her death but for the death of our unborn baby too.

My stomach coiled and before I could stop myself, I threw up all over the floor and table.

༺༺♡♡༻༻

I was barely done cleaning up the mess I had made when the phone rang, echoing loudly through the room.

I groaned loudly in frustration when I looked at my screen and saw who was calling.

Elias…my elder brother.

“What do you want?” I snapped immediately and answered the call.

“Come on Kael. That's no way to greet your big brother, who you haven't spoken to in three years. Where are your manners?” There was a hint of amusement laced in his voice.

“The manners are shoved up your ass. What do you want, Elias?”

He sighed, “I just wanted to hear from you, little brother.”

I scoffed.

Wanted to hear from me suddenly after three years of no contact? After three years of them tossing me by the side?

“I'm going to end the call in the next two minutes if you do not tell me why you are calling me.”

“You do not sound so well. Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.”

“I know you, Kael and although you have always been an ass, I can always tell when something is up with you. You know that right?”

I closed my eyes and focused on counting my breathing. That was the second only option I had other than ending the call right in his ears. But I know that Elias would not have called me if it wasn't an important matter.

“I'm sure recounting memories isn't why you decided to reach out.” I snapped through gritted teeth.

What do I tell him? That I had lost my wife and baby? That would be another series of stories because he wasn't aware that I had gotten married to begin with.

“Fine, do not be such a prude little brother.”

I clenched and unclenched my fist but said nothing.

“Or are you still so angry over our little disagreement years ago? One would think that you have gotten over it by now.”

“Little disagreement? You fucking my fiancé is more than just a little disagreement, Elias but no. I have gotten over that. You and that lying skank deserve each other. Now, tell me what made you call because I'm two seconds away from ending this call and blocking your number right now.”

“Fine. Our grandfather is dead, Kael. And for whatever reason, he willed seventy percent of everything he owns to you.”

My heart dropped.