4

SORAYA

The bathroom mirror stared back at me, it's clear reflection contrasting my thoughts. I brushed my teeth slowly, my mind painted scenes I didn’t want to think about but couldn’t help imagining. Scenes of telling Xaden about the baby kept replaying in my head like a movie and I couldn’t put them off. 

I splashed some water on my face, hoping the coolness would shock me back to reality. The icy droplets slid down my cheeks, clinging to my skin, the movie in my head finally ended. Placing both hands on the sink, I breathed in and out slowly, counting each breath. But my thoughts kept slipping, pulling me back into a haunted vision of Xaden’s office, and an unreadable expression on his face as I revealed the news. 

Another splash of water. I pressed my palms against my skin, making the coolness bite more into me this time around.

“Stop it, stop…” I whispered, almost pleading. “Don’t imagine too much. Just get through today.” I forced a small smile at my reflection, it was a little lopsided but it was good enough. “It’s not real yet,” I murmured, wiping my face one last time. “Just go to class. Don’t think about it until you have to. ”

With one last look in the mirror, I stepped back into my room. I dressed quickly, choosing a pale blue dress without much thought – the fabric felt light and soft against my skin –, then I styled my hair into a tight ponytail. I left my room, the cool  morning breeze brushing against my skin as I walked to the small restaurant just beside the hostel. The smell of coffee and bacon dancing to the noise of clattering cutlery and quiet conversations greeted me as I stepped inside. 

I slid into a booth by the window, and picked up the menu. The oddness of this – me picking up a proper breakfast before school – didn't go without my notice. I was now concerned about the wellbeing of the living thing inside me. I scrutinised the menu, lingering on the words on the piece of paper I had usually disregarded. I found myself wondering: what would be healthy for the baby?

I was torn between a fruit bowl and oatmeal, both seeming equally ordinary yet suddenly so important.

Then the full force of my situation hit me, was this what mothers went through? Constantly on their toes for what was best for their child. Goddess… in just a month I'd turned from a freshman student in love to an expectant mother with her life not so carefully planned anymore.

My mind drifted again, this time picturing the baby’s face. Would he look like Xaden or me? Would it be a girl or a boy?

A thought hit me like a punch to the gut— a little child with Xaden’s features would be ten times better than mine. The man was… I shuddered, remembering that night once again. If Xaden had sisters they’d definitely be models.

“What does he see in me then?” I murmured subconsciously, letting out an exasperated sigh. I was so tired of second guessing everything.

I shook my head, forcing myself to snap out of it, before my thoughts got out of hand like earlier. I quickly ordered the oatmeal, tears gathering in my eyes as I forced myself to down it without throwing up. I ate it as quickly as I could, then hurried to class. 

I'd missed a good number of classes and I wanted to make up for it. They might not have discussed anything important but my attendance was vital.

I zig-zagged through the throng of students to my first lecture. My fingers drummed lightly on the edge of the desk as I stared blankly at the professor’s lips moving, the words not quite reaching me. I knew I should be listening, but my thoughts kept pulling me. Really, what would Xaden say when I told him? I could almost hear his voice, cold and distant, rejecting me without a second thought. Or worse, he might give me an ultimatum— him or the baby. Or maybe, just maybe, he’d deny it was even his. Any of that would break me, I knew it would. But what would I do after? My thoughts spiraled and the rest of the class passed in a blur. By the time it ended, one thing was clear— I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to talk to Xaden.

With a deep breath, I made a beeline for the door, slowing down so the bulk of students would go out first without me forcing my way through them. As I shuffled forward, I realised the group of girls behind me were chatting excitedly about something and since I had nothing to do at that moment, I decided to pay a little attention. It was about an upcoming Luna ceremony. 

“It’s awesome and everything but like why did it take the Alpha so long to acknowledge her? They’ve been married for three years!” One of them expressed so passionately, one would think she was related to the Luna. 

We'd finally gotten to the open double doors and I decided I had way too much on my plate to be paying attention to pack gossip. Shaking my head, I rushed down the hallway to find Xaden's office.

By the time I located the office my stomach had twisted itself into a rubix cube. My heart pounded as I raised a trembling hand to knock. But I couldn’t. Hundreds of scenarios swamped my head. This was it. This could change everything. My hand first froze in the air for a second and I had to take several calming breaths before gently tapping on the door. Deciding to just rip the bandaid off, I pushed the door open without waiting for a response.

But instead, I froze in the doorway. There was no Xaden in the office.

But the office wasn't empty.

A woman sat behind the desk, her eyes were dark, almost black, and they locked onto me with a cold intensity that made my breath hitch. Her lips were painted a deep red, not seductive but very elegant. 

Her lips wore a smile that hinted at.. cruel? The way she carried herself, the way she sat there with such authority— it was almost regal, like a queen on her throne. And there was something in her gaze, something sharp and cutting, that made me want to shrink

I tried to sound confident, closing the door behind me and straightening, “I’m here to see Professor Xaden?”

She didn’t say anything right away. Instead, her eyes slowly traveled up and down my body, silence stretching on, the tension in the room rising with every passing second.

Finally, she spoke, her voice cool and dripping with disdain. “Who are you?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the words caught in my throat under her intense eyes. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to speak. “I’m… uh.. a student of his, Soraya Follen.”

The moment my name left my lips, the energy behind the desk changed entirely. Her expression twisted into one of pure contempt and her back straightened as she leaned forward, her nails digging into the desk as she stared me down.

“So you’re the slut that's been sleeping with my husband.”

The words hit me like a slap, leaving me stunned and unable to move. My mind scrambled to catch up, to make sense of what was happening, but all I could do was stare at her, feeling small and helpless under her gaze.

“E– excuse me? Your husband? I have no idea what you're talking about, I just resumed here and I–” I barely found my voice as I asked,

“Xaden Goldmoon is my husband.” She snarled, looking for all the world like she wanted to leap across the desk and tear me to pieces.

Husband? The word echoed in my mind, Husband… Hus–

No, that couldn’t be right. I felt my knees weaken, the floor seeming to tilt beneath me as my world threatened to collapse.

“He– he can't–” I voiced without thinking, my brain going through a major glitch.

She cackled, finally rising to her feet. Her gaze on me became different, like she'd spotted a prey and knew exactly how to get it for herself. She lifted her hand,

“Look at this ring Honey, does this look like I married myself? And why else would I be in his office?”

My body trembled as I tried to steady myself, to push away the panic rising in my chest. My heart pounded, each beat hammering against my ribs as if trying to escape. I wanted to scream, to deny it, to do something, to make her stop bringing all my fears to reality but all I could do was stand there, scared, angry, frustrated, and very very lost.

She walked around the desk and then came to stand three feet in front of me.

“You're the mate he spoke to me about.” She tsked. “He definitely made a great decision not waiting for you to show up before getting a wife.”

It was like a dagger went through my heart at that statement. The room spun around me. The only thoughts in my head were: I was a homewrecker... I'd slept with a married man..

My eyes stung, I’d been through this before, this sting of betrayal. My first mate had broken me once, cheating on me before he tossed me aside like I meant nothing. And now, Xaden— my second chance, had done the same. But this time, it was worse. He didn’t just cheat on me; he cheated with me. He’d turned me into a Sally. 

I pressed a hand to my stomach, the life growing inside me a painful reminder of how much I’d been fooled. Tears welled in my eyes but I swallowed, I would not cry in front of this woman.

I still had to tell him about the baby… but how? 

She blinked once, her head tilting slightly.

Then she started smiling and then her smile became wider and wider until she was full on laughing. Well, cackling.

“Oh Xaden!” she breathed, wiping the corner of her eye as she tried to stop laughing. “Wow, I always knew he was amazing but this– this is–” she waved her hands in the air with a dreamy look in her eye.

“E– excuse me? What are you–?”

“Oh honey, this is a good thing!”

She stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.

A good thing? What was she–?

“Xaden and I have been trying to have a child for all three years of our marriage. We've tried everything but nothing seems to be working. But now with your arrival… wow I can't imagine he thought of this so fast, although I mean with how much he loves my body and wants me to maintain my form it probably came easily to him.”

As she smiled down at me, I felt cold all over, even though her eyes were like coals threatening to burn me to a crisp.

“I– what are you talking about?” I croaked, my stomach twisting as I hoped and begged the goddess that it wasn't what I was thinking.

She tsked, pushing me backward a little as she took her hand off my shoulder.

“Goodness, breeding children is really all you're good for, you're quite daft. Did you really think Xaden was going to marry you? Make you his Luna? How naive. It's obvious you're only going to bear his heir. You've had sex so you should get pregnant soon. And once the child is born, as Luna, I'll raise him as mine, raise him to be a rightful heir.

My head zinged. I actually felt an electric jolt go through my body. I began shaking and sweating profusely. No… 

This woman— Xaden’s wife — was telling me that this had all been part of their plan. I was going to become a baby making machine for them? 

My stomach churned, nausea rising as the full weight of her words pressed upon me. The baby I was carrying— the baby I had just started to accept and love— would go to a woman like her?

Xaden had played me. He knew his wife couldn’t have children, he knew he needed an heir, and he had used me to get what he wanted. My heart raced, how could I have been so blind? 

My legs felt weak, like they could give out at any moment. I had to get out of here. As I turned to go, my legs wobbling, the woman’s voice followed me, casual and mocking.

“Don’t be in such a hurry, we need to fix a date for dinner soon so we can discuss the surrogacy plans and sign a proper contract.”

Contract? The word made my skin crawl. This wasn’t just a betrayal; it was something far worse. I was nothing more than a vessel to them. What the hell was this? How could I have let myself fall for a man who was so– I shuddered.

I knew what I had to do. There was no way I was letting them take my child. If they were crazy enough to cook this up, if a man could be so manipulative of the mate bond to be able to do this, I couldn't put anything past them.

I ran out of his office and I didn’t stop. I didn’t look back till I was out of the building and at the bus stop. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as my breath came in short bursts. Tears were flowing freely from my eyes and I was a complete mess.

Without realising, I collapsed onto the floor.

No, this wasn't the way to live. I had to get away… far away from here. My heart broke at the thought of leaving my mate but then it strengthened my resolve because my mate was nothing but a bastard. Another bastard. I was doomed to be mated to the scum of the earth. To hell with everything— I was dropping out of school. I was leaving, and I wasn’t looking back.