You shouldn't be here

The feds had said that Richard should be somewhere near the Canadian border by now. Melissa had been under so much duress especially in the past months since talking with the agents,that she could barely think straight. She told herself that was the reason she'd been misguided enough to think seeing Colin one more time would somehow fill the ache in her chest.

   Everything had spun out of control. Her relationship with the feds hadn't exactly been a friendly alliance . The only reason she'd collected evidence against Richard was because they threatened to take Angelina away from her. Ever since they'd approached her while she picked up the mail that cold January morning. She'd been walking a tightrope.

Richard had been good at covering his tracks ,so culling evidence against him had been difficult. She'd eventually gathered the proof needed for the feds to get an arrest warrant. She'd risked her life,not to mention her daughter's. And what had they done with Richard? Allowed him to escape. No one could save Melissa now if Richard go to her. If it wasn't for Angelina,for that smiling Angelic face, Melissa would've lost hope a long time ago.

     Melissa was weary,lonely,and part of her felt like she'd never live a normal life again. At least her father was in protective custody. His health was sketchy but he was in a decent facility in the Pacific Northwest. That's the only information she'd been given and that's all she needed to know. She wasn't ready to forgive her father for what he'd done to ruin both of their lives,she she'd felt the need to protect him. And now,she and Angelina would be Bethany and Claire soon. A new life,a fresh start,shouldn't feel like such a death sentence. But it would be because they'd be living a life without Colin.

Head pounding, heart aching,she closed her eyes before leaning against the door and then sinking until her bottom hit the hardwood floor. She twisted off her wedding ring,noticing the red marks on her fingers it left behind because it had always been a little too tight,and threw it across the room. Relief flooded her at getting that thing off her finger. She'd put it on so no one would question her about it. The only reason she'd held on to the ring was because she figured she could sell it if times got tight. The government had made promises to her ,but who really knew if they could be trusted? They'd allowed Richard to slip through their fingers and that wasn't exactly reassuring.

  Seconds turned into minutes and Melissa had no idea how long she'd been sitting there when she finally opened her eyes again.

Her father was safe. The baby was safe. Colin was safe. And she was exhausted.

     She blocked out thoughts of how much Colin hated her now. She'd seen it in his eyes as he stalked towards her. The anger was so palpable that she'd had to turn her face away. Right then,she knew that he would never forgive her for leaving. And what had she really expected? For him to tell her everything would be okay? A hug?.

Maybe it was good that Melissa Rancic would no longer exist in less than__she checked the clock__an hour. Maybe it was time to make a new leaf. Maybe it was time to make a new life for herself and Angelina. The thought of causing Colin any more pain was like a knife to her heart anyway. He deserved so much more.

     She pushed up to stand as a knock sounded on her door from behind. She jumped. Her heart leapt to her throat and her chest squeezed. The same old feeling of panic,of the walls closing in and the air thinning, threatened to debilitate her. And that same question burned through her mind ... Had Richard found her?

No. That was impossible. He was probably in Canada by now.

   The knock sounded again, a little louder,a little more urgent.

Her mind spun. All the anxiety crashed down around her,freezing her limbs and making something as simple as taking a breath hurt.

    Hold on a second. Richard wouldn't knock at her front door nor would anyone he sent. That was way too direct. He would slip in during the night and slit her throat.

She glanced around the room. Searching for a purse or jacket. Mrs. Klein most likely forgot something and was returning to get it. The simple explanation was usually the right one no matter how much her brain protested and fear overtook her.

   Melissa flipped the switch to the porch light and checked out the peephole. The light was out. Had it been like that before? Melissa couldn't remember. This was an old house. It belonged to her cousin's best friend. It had a lot of quirks.

Yes. It had. She remembered a little while ago when Mrs.Klein had gone home that the porch light hadn't been working. No way was Melissa opening that door without confirmation.

 "Mrs. Klein?" Melissa said softly,and then waited for a response.

A high-pitched murmur of acknowledgement came. 

  As Melissa opened the door,she said, "What did you__"

And then she froze.

   She gasped as panic roared through her. She quickly regained her bearing and pushed to door trying to shut it quickly even though it wouldn't budge. There was something wedged at the base. She glanced down. The toe of Colin's boot stared up at her.

   "Not so fast, Melissa". He pushed open the door a little too easily and brushed past her.

"YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE", Melissa said with more panic than anger, and he noticed that she's positioned her body between him and the stairs. Was she blocking him for a reason? Was someone up there? Richard?.

"I almost didn't come" Colin had followed Melissa on a whim. And then he'd sat at the end of the street trying to decide if he should knock or not. Seeing her with Richard would knife him. But maybe he needed that reinforcement to be able to finally let go. He'd been stuck in a place between loving her and the kind of pain he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy for the past year. Seeing her dredged up feelings he thought he'd learned to live with,or live without, depending on how he looked at it.

    "Why did you?" She asked

"Is he here?" Colin motioned toward the base of the staircase,ignoring her question. That old anger from her leaving him for a flash-in-the-pan guy like Richard renewed.

    She looked down and then shook her head.

He didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until that moment. Forcing himself to exhale slowly ,he also noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring anymore and she looked completely wrung out. Had the two of them been in a fight?

  Colin shouldn't want to interfere with a married couple's business,but part of him needed to know that she was okay. "Did he do anything to you? Hurt you in any way?"

"No", she said quickly. He couldn't help but notice how her body was trembling.

     "He made a move towards her and she flinched. Another sign he didn't like.

"Why did you come to the ranch?" He pinned her with his stare,letting his anger show in his words. He couldn't afford to her her get inside his head or his heart.

    "I wanted to see you" she said, looking like she'd had to force the word out. She didn't budge or invite him in,and she kept glancing toward the door like she expected her husband to walk through at any minute.

"Why?" He asked.

    "We're moving out of the country and I guess I got nostalgic for the past." The corner of her mouth twitched. She was lying.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

    She flashed her eyes at him but didn't speak. Her body trembled as she brought her hand to her chest ,sign that she was in a panic.

Nostalgic? This seemed an over-the-top reaction to being a little homesick.

  "Everything going okay between the two of you?" Colin asked,a piece of him hoping she would say it wasn't. There was so much off about her,he noticed. From her reaction to him to the way she talked about her husband,Colin didn't know where to start with questions.

      She nodded that it was. And that should be enough for Colin. He should walk right out the door and never look back. She'd broken his heart once,and this little visit was reopening old wounds that he had no doubt were going to sting for a long while after she left. If his heart was a muscle,it was memory causing his body to have this reaction to seeing her again,the one where he felt like the world was going to tumble down around him as soon as he walked out that door.

None of those feelings were welcomed. He stared at her,trying to read her to see if he could figure out why she'd really shown up at the ranch earlier. There was a time when Knowing what was on her mind would've been second nature. But she'd changed. Colin might not be able to tell what she was thinking but he knew fear when he saw it. And she was afraid of something. If not her husband,then who? Him?

    "So,he's treating you right?" He asked ,unable to stop pushing for the answers he really wanted but his pride wouldn't allow him to ask. Like why she'd really ditched him for Richard in the first place.

    "I said he was", she said,and her body language changed. She folded her arms and gritted her back teeth in the way that she did when she was shoring her strength.

"You're the one who came to see me and now you act like you can't stand to be in the same room", he said.

       "Time for you to go", she shot back.

Was she there to torture him? To remind him of what he'd lost ? Did she really hate him that that much?

   A piece of him had to know if she'd walked away because she'd really stopped loving him like she'd said. He stalked towards her and she walked backward until she was against the wall. The stairs were to the left and the hallway to the right would take him into the kitchen.

Melissa's hands came up in defense and she turned her face away, shutting her eyes.

This close,her heart thumped at the the base of her throat wildly. The air changed and electricity pinged between them.

   Their sexual chemistry hadn't dimmed. We're her feelings for him really dead?

"You're not getting away so easy this time". Colin used his thumb on her chin to guide her face toward him. His other hand wrapped around the base of her neck. Being this close took a toll on him,on his body . He took in a sharp breath and,by accident,breathed in her scent. At least one thing hadn't changed about her. She still smelled like sunshine after the first spring rain. All flowers and fresh air. "Why'd you take off your ring?"

She kept her eyes shut.

   "I'm not leaving until you look at me and give me an answer". She'd never been able to do that and lie.

A piece of him dared to hope she was done with her marriage,that she could admit it had been a mistake and that she'd never stopped loving him. Colin knew it was his bruised ego wishing for that. Because he had enough pride to realize that he would never love her in the same way again no matter what excuses she gave for walking out. That innocence had been shattered into a thousand tiny pieces along with his heart,and he doubted he could ever love anyone in that same way again, especially not her.