ISHTAR.His tongue burned my mouth, the kind of fire that ignited everything good within me, and I found that I was helpless against his touch. I kissed him hungrily, my hands in his hair and his on my lower back, and he pressed me tighter to him, his urgent lips working wonders on mine.I was kissing him, open-mouthed, with my eyes fluttered shut. My hands burrowed into his hair while he reached up to answer by pulling me closer to him, my back hitting the cold wall while he pushed harder against me. His hands were everywhere on my dress, grabbing me roughly. The shock of his mouth against mine wasn't cold or intimidating. The contact sparked up a passionate connection that traveled into my knees and weakened it. I weaved my hands behind his head to draw him closer, my breathing labored and ragged with a forcefully demanding heat engulfing my insides.I couldn't believe I was touching him. Kissing him hastily enough to communicate something that words weren't enough to. All our hidd
DAMIAN."You want to go to college?" I asked again, leaning back against the chair. "That's new…" Of all things, she mentioned college. What was up with this sudden and hasty decision? "Why?" "Because…" Ishtar shrugged, "It's…something new. I want to do something for myself, and going to college seems like a really good idea. You told me to wish for something, genie.." She pursed her lips. I let out a wry chuckle, scrunching my nose, "So you just want to go to college. That's it? No dream, no passion. Did anyone tell you it's going to be fun? Like a vacation or something? Was it Reiss who put you up to this?"Ishtar sighed, "You ask too many questions for someone who pretends to be nonchalant. Yes, Reiss talked about college, but he never asked me to go without him or anything of that sort, okay? I just chose to. And I'd like to study art.""You don't seem like an art person to me…""Then what do I seem like to you!" Ishtar snapped, "Someone you can kiss at random and act like it di
ISHTAR.Reiss walked in with a box of pizza in his hand, and I was more than delighted to have him over. After my conversation with Damian earlier, I was left drained and empty. And I couldn't get his voice out of my head.I couldn't seem to process the fact that he was going to keep acting like there was nothing going on between us. I liked him, and I'd made my peace with that. My fragile heart seemed to have fallen for his cheap tricks.It was saddening. "Welcome to Ishtar Flys, we are the best, and we're glad you're here," I said in a sharp, enunciated tone. I'd been pondering over what could be a good idea to study, and being a flight attendant didn't seem like a bad idea. "Flight attendant?" Reiss guessed in a go as he set down the box and sat down. "Are you taking this college thing seriously? It'd be really nice if you were."I exhaled tiredly and slumped into a chair before him, "Well, it seems like a really good idea if I manage to pass the exams. I did some research, and da
DAMIAN.As I got into the car and drove off, the question she asked me seemed to pound in my head, ringing at the back of my mind like a nevermind ending tale.I had managed to lie to her and told her I didn't know who Rebecca was. Of course, I knew who Rebecca was. She was her best friend. No, wait, she was Minerva's best friend. Not Ishtar's. Ishtar was a different person, utterly different.She had no connection with Minerva or my past. That would be bizarre and impossible. I didn't see a way by which that could happen, except the gods had chosen to torture me for the little time I have left."It wouldn't happen. It would not." My head was spinning as the thoughts kept punching me in the guts, and I pulled over on the highway to take a deep breath. "Minerva is not Ishtar," I muttered to myself, panting as I wound down the glass. The car had gotten stuffy, rid of any space for breathing. "This has to be some kind of nasty trick. I don't see a way that's possible." I paused, remembe
ISHTAR.I was going to try preparing dinners again tonight, even though I was almost sure he wasn't going to take a bite of it. Ever since I got discharged from the hospital, our interactions had been so minor. It was almost as though he didn't live under the same roof as I did.Damian tried to hide away for a reason I was insanely curious about. It wasn't helping that I reminded him of the death of his sister or how much he tried to question me about what happened when I passed out. I told him everything already, exactly how it happened, but I couldn't answer the questions he had.My heart was heavy, and I clutched tightly the bag of groceries I was holding, looking up at the moon that seemed to be walking with me. At least I wasn't alone. Not entirely. The wind slapped me in the face, and the cold air settled on my lips. It was the kind of atmosphere where everything incited tears and ill feelings, the kind of night where I wouldn't mind being wrapped up by a stranger's arms and cu
ISHTAR.My hands shook as I held the same kind of letter again, perusing it without tearing the envelope open because I was anxious about what I'd find next. The same security who had gotten the first got this one, too. This time, he didn't see who slipped it under the gate.I inhaled sharply, sitting upright as I gently tore open the tip of the brown envelope and fished out the white sheet folded inside of it. I carefully unraveled it, and my eyes fell on the words largely scribbled at the center of the white sheet.DAMIANOS KINKADE. No question marks this time? Was this some sort of confirmation? Whoever these people were, they knew me, and they knew me well. The paper was the only thing contained in the envelope, and there were no hidden messages.Just as I'd tried to read the last one with candlelight, I'd do this, too. I and the security guard had checked everything— whoever it was, they were able to meticulously bypass the CCTV cameras while on this mission.Everything was stif
ISHTAR.The moment I heard the roaring of the engine as his vehicle entered the compound, I ran back to my seat and pretended to be engrossed in my book. I'd been sitting by the window for the past hour, waiting for him to arrive.Damian was a bit late, and I wondered why. I flipped the pages and perused over a particular page when I finally heard the door open, and the room was engulfed by the strong smell of his cologne. It was to die for, literally.As though it was the key to playing with my brain, I became restless on the seat, thinking about how or when I'd ever get a chance to be that close to him again. His footsteps echoed in my direction, and it took everything in me to stay still.I was burning with excitement, like a kitten would before milk. He'd been standing there for a while, watching me while my cheeks burned, and I tried to hide between my hair. It was excruciatingly anxious to pretend like I didn't notice he was there, so I turned slowly and looked up at him, "Thank
DAMIAN.The day of the gala arrived, and the hours seemed to drag as I waited eagerly downstairs for Ishtar to be done dressing up. It wasn't anything important, so I knew she could handle it, especially after the appearance she'd pulled off on the day she tried to tempt me. Time ticked by really slowly, feeding into my anticipation, and I couldn't help it. I couldn't help wanting to see her in that dress. I was hungry to see her in a dress again, just one more time.The want hit me like never before, and I paced around the living room, my hands behind my back as I waited for what seemed like decades. The sound of the ticking clock filled my head and synced with my heartbeat, troubling me even more. It seemed as though there was a void inside of me waiting to be filled. I just couldn't wrap my head around it.Maybe it was because tomorrow was the first day of a full moon, and all my senses were heightened. Finally, Ishtar's footsteps filled my ears, and I hesitated, pausing in my t
ISHTAR"It's okay, it's all gonna be fine," I muttered as I patted his back. "Abby would be so surprised when she walks in on us like this." I loved being in his arms. It felt like the nicest thing to happen to me in a long long while, and I missed him so much. I missed us. I was so captivated by his scent that I leaned in and let myself fall deeper into it, my eyes tightly shut as I continued to hug him.Our moment ended when Abby called out to me. She'd been in my room to shower, and now she was out. Finally, they could meet. I reluctantly pulled away from Damian, but something felt different — like he pulled away first. His hands slid down my back. "Abby?" I called out as I turned, my face flushed. I was nervous, and I knew she'd tease me a lot for it when we were alone together. "Meet Damian."Damian. He was quiet. Awfully quiet, and it terrified me to turn to me. I sucked my teeth and moved my feet unsteadily. I could feel it cooking inside of me already. Unrest, sadness, everyt
DAMIANI placed my phone screen down after responding to Ishtar's texts, and I was still curious as to whom she was letting in, but some issues were more pressing— like the situation that I was in right now.That wait wasn't over, and from the look of things, it didn't seem like it'd end anytime soon. I was pulsating in my seat, my feet relentlessly tapping as I waited in the quiet restaurant. The paper was crumpled up in my hand, and I straightened it, trying to see if there was any information I needed. It felt like I was so close, but I had also taken a few steps back. I barely even understood what was going on anymore, and that somehow granted me the strength to wait longer— because I knew that I had to find answers; there wasn't a way in hell I'd leave with nothing. I'd spend the night here if I had to.As desperation was always followed by frustration, my blood seemed to boil hotter as minutes passed by. My legs wouldn't stop shaking either, so I stood up and began to rummage
ISHTARThe sun streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room as I went about my household chores. Dishes clinked together as I washed them, the rhythmic sound serving as a backdrop to my thoughts. But in reality, my mind was a thousand miles away, far from the mundane tasks at hand.My thoughts were consumed by Damian, his presence lingering in every corner of my consciousness. The moments we had shared during our recent vacation in Samoa played on a loop in my mind. The laughter, the stolen glances, and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled were etched into my memory.Meeting his friend was also a part of it. I couldn't pull my mind away from those thoughts and the happiness I felt when it happened. Why, then, did I still feel like something was missing? Like I was left in the dark, and every moment I thought I'd crawled out of, it just became that I sunk deeper.Something about Damian didn't add up, and I was tired of making all these excuses in my mind. The
DAMIAN.I must have fallen in love with her a little more after her drunken fit from last night. My God, she was adorable, and I was worried that she'd get sick. I had reprimanded Reiss that morning, probably way more than I should, for getting her in trouble.She wasn't a kid, I know, but it left me tossing and turning for a while, knowing that I was enough protection for her. Even when I remembered all the things I was keeping from her, I couldn't help but feel like shit. Like real shit because she didn't deserve it, any of it.We arrived yesterday, and things fell back into place, not us though. I was stuck in the middle of making small and big decisions like should I ask her to dinner this evening? Should I make her a cup of coffee this morning?Would it be too much if I looked at her and said she was beautiful? I wanted to do everything I wasn't supposed to do. Even now that I'd barely left her for five minutes, I still couldn't manage to swing my thoughts away from her. Ishtar h
ISHTARI was Minerva again, and I registered it in my head. This was only a dream, but even while I was aware of it being a dream, I couldn't control the narrative. I was simply a pawn in a bigger— way bigger game.I looked up at the sky outside the house where I was. It was a full moon already, but cloudy skies surrounded the moon, and there were no stars in sight. It was quiet, way quiet, and all I heard was crickets and my sighs.I saw myself waiting for someone. My fingers tapped aggressively against the wooden floor, and my heart wouldn't stop racing. All my thoughts were faced in one direction, and the person I was waiting for dominated over my mind. There was a yearning that I couldn't explain, and as time slipped by, I found myself looking towards the direction of the door, my eyes lingering on it and the want burning me alive.Anticipation could be my greatest enemy yet. I found that my legs wouldn't still so I tried to take control by walking around the room instead. It was
DAMIAN.Reiss, that loud mouth of his, and the way he spewed the question like it couldn't do potential damage. Even as I sat before my desk, pretending to focus on the unarranged pile of mess that I called paperworks before me, I could barely concentrate on anything.I keep thinking about what I could have done or said differently. The image on her face when she tiredly walked to the door with Reiss haunted it and I knew it would stay on my mind for a while. What was wrong with me? Yes, I like her. Yes, I like her. I imagined myself saying that to Reiss, and it worked out well in my head. I could have just said so, and I would have hurt her less. Everything would have been better off, and I'd be able to pull myself out of these thoughts.Now, I couldn't concentrate, and I was on my second bottle of beer. I stood up and went to the windows where the landscape spread endlessly, and I sighed, pressing the can in my hands. I was tired of everything and how I always seemed to hit a brick
ISHTAR."Well, well, well…"I lost a half the fragment of my mind when the lights clicked on, and Reiss appeared before us, obviously humored by our position. I didn't know whether or not to fume that he scared me or that he'd just snatched the chance I had to kiss Damian. God knows when I'd get to kiss him again when we get back home.I was stunned and speechless, and I watched Damian's hands slowly slip from my sides as he sighed exasperatedly and muttered something I couldn't understand underneath his breath. I think we were both mad at the interruption, not at the fact that Reiss found us kissing.Reiss leaned against the door frame and kept his sheepish smile intact, and for the first time in a while, I actually did want to knock it off his pretty face. I clenched my fist and tilted my head to move away the tendrils on my face. I heaved a broken sigh, and a small laugh followed it, "Reiss, howdy?""Howdy?" Damian echoed. "What are you, fifty?" He was being too adorable, and I did
DAMIAN."So, is it a yes?" She looked up at me as I hugged her. She was too adorable to say not to. I couldn't find it in me to decline her request, even though I'd been thinking about it myself.Maybe two more days wouldn't hurt. I mean, what was the worst that could happen? We've already hit different bottoms, and although I was standing on an edge right now, I didn't mind. "Hm, hm," I nodded, smiling down at the adorable entity whose arms were wrapped around me. Reiss had left the Resort to tour the beach immediately after the movie. Leaving Ishtar and I. The silence hung in the air, and I could feel things begin to become awkward between us. And I didn't want to do anything with her. It was as though as I was too scared to touch her because I cared about her so much.There was an undeniable tension in the air, one that I couldn't help but acknowledge. I cared about her deeply, and the fear of overstepping boundaries made it awkward to initiate any physical contact.I decided to
ISHTAR.This day would be perfect if Damian were here. I knew he'd never watch a movie with us like this, but at least I'd know that he was within earshot, and that alone would feel good.I was watching a horror movie franchise with Reiss in the home Cinema. It was the most comfortable thing I'd ever come across, and I can't even begin to explain how good it made me feel. The TV was the biggest I'd ever seen in my life while the surroundings were set like a bedroom, although dark.Reiss and I shared a blanket, and he spooked me by trembling his legs from time to time. It was fun and thrilling, unlike anything I'd ever experienced, yet it felt incomplete. I found myself drifting off and asking myself why Damian brought me here with him just to run off and start working.Was that his genius plan from the beginning? Was this never a vacation to begin with? The voices in my head wouldn't stop giving me answers, and just as I wasn't quite clear on his identity, there was so much doubt in m