My day starts in a gloomy atmosphere which is a very accurate representation of how I feel. I’d woken up in Sherlene's arms but they had not provided the comfort we had both hoped that it would.“I know you’re awake,” Comes her voice in my ear but I don’t move. I don’t even open her eyes to confirm her statement.“Sulking is not going to help any of us Olivia, so please just talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling.”I exhale deeply. “No one can help me Sherlene. It might seem harsh but not even you can help me.”“That’s where you’re wrong,” she says. I feel her side of the bed dip before her warmth spreads closer to me. “No one else cares for you as much as I do. You probably don’t believe it but I’ll go to the ends of the world for you.”“Then prove it,” I say, my eyes flying open. “Prove it to me and leave!” I yell.She doesn’t deserve it but I’m too far gone into my rage to do anything about it or access the situation logically.She opens her mouth and t
Today our one month anniversary of our therapy sessions, Jenny and I. It’s been weeks of staring at the pale cream wall of Dr. Kent’s office and hoping that Jenny will miraculously say a word.He says her muteness is as a result of the trauma she had suffered from witnessing her mother’s death. But I think it’s much more than that. To have this constant nagging at the back of my head that I’m the reason she has turned into this shadow of herself is unbearable.It’s the only reason I sit on this mint green couch every weekend and bear the constant reminder of my own guilt.It would’ve been okay if she spoke to everyone else but me. It would have been understandable. Shutting everyone out only signifies the depth of the damage done to her person.I squeeze my hands tighter on my lap and watch her side profile.The blank expression is on her face, with her mouth pulled down at the corners in an attempt of a frown.What I would do to see her smile again, too hear her speak again.“Mrs. C
My day starts in a gloomy atmosphere which is a very accurate representation of how I feel. I’d woken up in Sherlene's arms but they had not provided the comfort we had both hoped that it would.“I know you’re awake,” Comes her voice in my ear but I don’t move. I don’t even open her eyes to confirm her statement.“Sulking is not going to help any of us Olivia, so please just talk to me. I can’t help if I don’t know exactly how you’re feeling.”I exhale deeply. “No one can help me Sherlene. It might seem harsh but not even you can help me.”“That’s where you’re wrong,” she says. I feel her side of the bed dip before her warmth spreads closer to me. “No one else cares for you as much as I do. You probably don’t believe it but I’ll go to the ends of the world for you.”“Then prove it,” I say, my eyes flying open. “Prove it to me and leave!” I yell.She doesn’t deserve it but I’m too far gone into my rage to do anything about it or access the situation logically.She opens her mouth and t
I looked at my dull brown eyes which was a result of the uncomfortable contact lens that I knew was a bad idea but wore them anyway. I was a person now and was going to look every bit of it. My now short hair hung down the side of my head in uneven waves just barely reaching my ears. I tucked in my crisp white shirt which was no doubt the cheapest in the building into my pants that must’ve seen better days. My phone kept ringing disrupting what was supposed to be a badass imagination of myself busting into the office that was on the floor above me and shooting my boss in the head. It would have been game over for everyone. Finally picking up the phone and connecting the call, I spoke “What is it Charles?”, Unable to conceal the irritation in my voice. I rummaged through my suitcase that was on the floor leaning into the side of my leg. I needed to make sure the files and fake documents I had in them were not abandoned in the drawer at home. “What are you still doing
His lips. They tormented me more than my father. The things I had felt in those few seconds always rattled my heart and made butterflies flutter in my stomach. But then I always remembered, his panic-stricken face after and the fact that he hated me, just like they all did. “I’m sorry” I said as I detangled myself from him and stood straighter, adjusting my tie in the process. He said nothing. He didn’t even acknowledge the fall or the awkward moment his arms had been wrapped around me. Maybe he did this often, letting his male personal assistants fall into his arms. It hit me then! A scandal, Don involved with his male assistant, a gay relationship. It would ruin a respectable family like his. The doors dinged when we got to the ground floor. I walked after him making sure to put a decent space between us. I’ll rather fall on my butt than into his hands again. A black sleek limousine was already waiting when we got out of the building, the other staff glaring daggers a
I waited. My heart growing in doubt for a moment. If there was no reaction from him then I was in trouble because the vase was bound to hit him square in the face. I had the perfect aim. It was the split of a second as my heart jumped that he flipped and kicked the vase. His eyes sparkling with a lot of violence before he realized where he was and put his calm exterior back on. He was hiding something. “Seems like my calm assistant has a past of his own that he is trying to hide” I said, unable to hide the sneer from my voice. He said nothing which infuriated me even more. “There’s one thing you should know about me Car if you’re going to keep working here” I said, walking straight to him and keeping eye contact. “I hate fucking puzzles, there’s nothing I can’t figure out” I stood in front of him now, only noticing then how much shorter he was, his head only coming up to my chest but in spite of his small exterior there was something burning inside him that could c
I waited. My heart growing in doubt for a moment. If there was no reaction from him then I was in trouble because the vase was bound to hit him square in the face. I had the perfect aim. It was the split of a second as my heart jumped that he flipped and kicked the vase. His eyes sparkling with a lot of violence before he realized where he was and put his calm exterior back on. He was hiding something. “Seems like my calm assistant has a past of his own that he is trying to hide” I said, unable to hide the sneer from my voice. He said nothing which infuriated me even more. “There’s one thing you should know about me Car if you’re going to keep working here” I said, walking straight to him and keeping eye contact. “I hate fucking puzzles, there’s nothing I can’t figure out” I stood in front of him now, only noticing then how much shorter he was, his head only coming up to my chest but in spite of his small exterior there was something burning inside him that co
When I woke up the sun was barely up in the sky. But that wasn’t my problem, the pain that had me writhing was. I clutched my chest in pain, hitting it severally like it would automatically stop. The little cupboard by my beside had never seemed that far away until now. I stretched out my hand in agony and tried to get my pills, but my fingers only ended up brushing the edge of the cupboard. I tried to get up but only succeeded in falling back to the bed as something strong pulled at my chest almost suffocating me. This couldn’t be the end of me, I was yet to accomplish all the things that I wanted. Maybe I should’ve listened to Charles and gotten treatment but that would only post-pone the inevitable. I just need a few weeks at the most to get my revenge done and then death could lay its cold hands on me. I didn’t mind. I laid in that position for what seemed like eternity before the pain returned, even more intense than before. I couldn’t help but scream at
It’s not the strong hospital smell that wakes me up or the warm hand on my cheek. But the twinge of pain that starts in my lower abdomen and spreads to my entire stomach. The first word I say is, “Jake,” followed by a sharp gasp. I hold the side of the bed tight and try to will the pain away. But the more I try to act like it’s not there, the more it eats me up from the inside out. Something warm touches my head at the same time I hear a faint voice ask, “Where are you hurt?” I’m in so much pain that I don’t jump with glee when Drew’s worried face comes into my line of sight. He’s alive but my brain is trying to process what’s wrong with me first. It’s a blood shattering battle. “The doctor-” I gasp, “Call the doctor. Oh my God Jake,” I clutch my stomach, bending over to try and ease the contraction that I’m feeling in there. My baby better be alright, he has to be. Drew removes the needles in his arm when he processes what is happening and leaves the room to get t
I’ve been paranoid since the meeting with Father, if Drew notices he doesn’t comment on it or ask any questions. . I sigh for the tenth time since we drove out of the house. I know Drew is being patient but with the way he’s tapping his fingers against the wheel I know he’s dying to ask me what happened during the meeting. It’s not like I’m hiding it from him, I’m just waiting till I’m sure what exactly is going on with Sherp till I tell him. There are so many questions that I’m afraid of what the answers will be. The first will be if Sherp has been working for Father the whole time he knew me, which from what Father said I think is the case. Still, he could’ve easily exposed my identity from the very beginning but he didn’t. I need to know what his game is in order to access this situation properly. I mean he gave me the very explosives I used to blow up the boat, why would he do that if he was working for Father? Most importantly, why is he helping Father look fo
Skipping dinner seemed like the best thing to do when we got home. After our make out in the office, I’ve not been able to look Drew in the eye.The smile on his face hasn’t left ever since and I’m worried he thinks we’re much more than a fake couple now.I can’t deny that what happened is the only sunshine I’ve had in my life since learning that I’ll be having Jake.It’s part of the reason I’m scared to think so much about it. I’m not ready to put a name or tag on how we both feel.My only mistake was skipping out on dinner and turning in early so I wouldn’t have to talk to him. Now I’m lying down wide awake because the hunger gnawing at me won’t let me sleep.I watch the rise and fall of Drew’s chest as he sleeps before slipping out of the bed. I’m careful not to wake him on my way out, carefully navigating through the dark room.When I make it to the stairs I almost leap in joy. Food at last. I take the stairs two at a time and run to the kitchen when I’m down.I cry out in relief
I don’t come downstairs until the doorbell rings. I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding Jenny and now I was going to risk running into her. The entire house is quiet when I come down, she must be taking a nap. For some reason I tiptoe to the door and stifle a startle when I open the door to a rather grumpy looking Dr. Shelby. All since I’ve known him, he was always smiling, patient. There was this airiness that surrounded him, it always made you feel at ease with him. But all that is left now are deep frown lines on his face and I hate to be the reason for it. “How did you think drinking while being pregnant was a good idea?” he asks the moment he steps past the threshold. “Why keep a child you’re not going to take proper care of?” My breath seizes in my lung. With a slight tilt to my head I study his expression. His eyes are accusing as he glares at me. This right here is not Dr. Shelby. Someone has taken him and put in place this angry version that I’m not used to.
There’s a soft touch on my shoulder and I look up to see Drew’s worried eyes. He raises his brow asking if I’m okay and I nod. Daisy shakes in my arms, the sleeve of my gown stained with her tears. The meeting should go on but I also can’t leave her in this state when I’m the primary reason she has to go through this grief. “Let me take you home,” I whisper to her. The meeting can always wait, but for now I need to calm her down and make sure she’s okay so she doesn’t hurt herself. She nods into my shoulder. I turn to Drew, “Can you take over the meeting, I’ll take her home now,” I tell him. “Why? Everyone has agreed to you being the new chairman, so you have to finish up. And with Daisy we can’t risk them changing their mind” he whispers to me. I shake my head. “Her feelings right now are more important. You can explain the situation to them and have them vote now. They’ll understand why I have to leave right away,” I say. Daisy is already trembling from c
Never did I think I’d be back here, in this soulless city that has had nothing but pain to offer me. But here I am, sitting in Drew’s passenger seat with the window down. There’s a random song playing on the radio that fills the silence dwelling between us. I’m grateful for it because after the tense conversation we had, we both needed to process our thoughts. I have to think of myself as Cassie now, I need to slowly immerse myself into her persona. Above all, I have to become her for this irrational plan of mine to work. “Aren’t you cold, the window has been down for so long,” Drew says, his attention still on the road. “Oh, I didn’t realize,” I reply. My body chooses that exact moment to shiver. I don’t miss the smile on Drew’s lips. “What were you thinking so much about?” he asks. I twist slightly to him. “You said you want nothing to do with the company…” I start. His short laugh is nervous, “Yes?” “But I have no idea how to actually run the company
Everyday that I see the sun rise is torture to my soul. Every morning that I wake up without Don by my side, tears my heart into a million pieces. I don’t know where life ends and where death starts. They’ve both become the same to me. It has made me prisoner in this dark perilous place called my mind. I sit by the window every night and wait for a dawn that never breaks, but that even is too much to ask. This is my own hell. This is my own home. There’s nothing on the news about the explosion. If I hadn’t been there myself I wouldn’t even believe that it happened. No bodies have been found. That is both my hope and my nightmare. Two long months of emptiness and guilt, that is my punishment. What if he’s really gone? What if he didn’t survive? No one could be alive and stay hidden for that long. What if he’s out there looking for me? I deflate. The chances are unlikely, especially after the way we parted. I should have held onto him a little longer, laced his f
Something was wrong, even a blind man could see it from miles away. I listened through the entire meeting but barely heard a word. They talked mostly about shares and opening another branch in some city I didn’t catch the name. My eyes shifted to the jot pad Car had left on the table, his handwriting had to be the ugliest thing in the world as I scanned over what he had written. He was my assistant, but it felt like he was more, like I should care for him. The meeting was barely over when I stood up from the meeting and left. I went straight to the restroom, sure that a clue to whatever was wrong with him would be there. I went straight to the waste bin that was at the far end of the restroom. Lying at the bottom was a rumpled toilet paper that was stained with blood, and lots of it. There was a sudden panic as I closed the lid, there was something going on with him but what if it was something that wasn’t entirely my business. It was clear he was sick, but sick w
His lips. They tormented me more than my father. The things I had felt in those few seconds always rattled my heart and made butterflies flutter in my stomach. But then I always remembered, his panic-stricken face after and the fact that he hated me, just like they all did. “I’m sorry” I said as I detangled myself from him and stood straighter, adjusting my tie in the process. He said nothing. He didn’t even acknowledge the fall or the awkward moment his arms had been wrapped around me. Maybe he did this often, letting his male personal assistants fall into his arms. It hit me then! A scandal, Don involved with his male assistant, a gay relationship. It would ruin a respectable family like his. The doors dinged when we got to the ground floor. I walked after him making sure to put a decent space between us. I’ll rather fall on my butt than into his hands again. A black sleek limousine was already waiting when we got out of the building, the other staff glaring daggers a