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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
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Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
OLIVIAHe stands there transfixed, trying to understand what I was talking about. I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose in order to gather myself. I point behind me. “Your parents, they’re in there. And your mother is somehow convinced that I’m your secret girlfriend that you’ve been keeping away from here.” The laughter that engulfs him lets me know that this was a normal behaviour for her. Which would make sense because Mac told me of how she was always trying to set him up with different girls. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. My mother can be a lot especially when it’s something that concerns me.” He steps through the threshold and dumps his gym bag at the door, probably to clean it up before keeping it where it’s supposed to be. “It’s fine,” I say from behind him as we walk to the kitchen. “She’s a lovely one.” And he should be happy to have someone like her as a mother. I didn’t have anyone to encourage me to date girls or anything. There was no one urging me to go ou
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
OLIVIA Of course I had to work for sweet old Rachel. I can only call her that in my head because she looks like she’ll really bite my head off if I so much as suggest her growing age. It’s obvious she takes a great care of herself from how she still looks younger than the age I estimated for her in my head. Happiness can do that you, I muse. It had this way of brightening up your day and everything that is around you. It made your heart lighter and less full with worries. Watching Mac and his family together made me appreciate the love hey so obviously shared between themselves. But it also made me wonder if my family could have been like this if we ended up together. Or would we have been one of those viscous ones that looked for how to bring each other down at any slightest turn. My bet was on the latter. A couple filled with love like Rachel and Peter would never abandon their child, ever, no matter the circumstances. I must have been something vile when they had given birth
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
OLIVIA We spent more time after we did the dishes before Rachel announced that they had to drop in and visit an old friend whose daughter had just put to bed the previous week. She was so excited that you’d think it was her daughter that gave birth. “That’s how she is,” Mac explained as we walked them to the door. “She gets so happy when she sees children.” “Do you have other siblings? You guys must be many,” I say but his expression turns dark before he forces himself to smile again. “No, it’s just me.” He moves forward and opens the door for them. It’s pretty obvious that there’s a story there, why a woman who loves children has just one child would be a sad story. “Olivia darling, I’m going to miss you,” she says and pulls me into a hug. “You can get my number from Mac, make sure to call me so we can put the final details on your job.” She pulls away from the hug but doesn’t let go of my hand. “When do you want to start? Next week okay for you?”I shake my head. “I’d like to s
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
OLIVIAThere are no words to express exactly how I feel at the moment. All I can say is that my heart does a strange flip before proceeding to beat faster than it ever has. A strange feeling carries its warmth past my heart and settles deep in my stomach. Home, my entire body screams but I don’t wait to hear the explanation it has for this peculiar reaction. I focus instead on watching the building we drive past and trying to commit it to memory. I’ve never been on this side of the city so it will need some getting used to before I can move around all on my own. There’s a park just down the street with an ice cream and pop corn stand. Mac must notice how my eyes linger there until he turns down another street which cuts it completely from my view. “We can stop by on our way back.” I turn my torso to look at him. “Really?” A short glance and a smile. “Really.” I relax into my seat. Looking forward to it much more than the aspect of shopping. I don’t wait for Mac to open the door
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
OLIVIA My head is resting on the window and watching the blurry images of the buildings that Mac speeds by. With the way he’s relaxed I can tell that the incident back at the store has brought this air of intimacy between us. Not the kind between people in relationships, but the feeling where you know the other party understands you and will always be there for you. Maybe always was stretching it a bit too much. Yes, he helped me back there with the woman because I genuinely don’t know how I could have maneuvered that situation on my own. Anyway he has literally being helping me since he met me for the first time but it was a bit too soon that this was a forever kind of thing. Besides once I get back back on my feet, I plan to leave the country and start over completely in a place where no one knows me. Where I can’t be reminded of the pain in my past. My head goes up when I realize the car has stopped but we’re not back at his apartment. I look at him as he takes off his seat b
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
OLIVIA All my life I’ve never felt genuinely needed by another until now. It’s something that makes my heart explode with joy and the feeling of being important to another human being. It makes me want to go back to the past and find his sister for him, or at least find out where she is so I can assure Mac that she is fine something. An idea clicks in my heart. I’ve been thinking of ways I could repay Mac and his family for all the things they’ve done for me. This could be it. With time I can save and help them find their long lost daughter, she was the one that mattered the most to them. My heart is bent on this even though I had no idea how I was going to push through to make it happen. Mac and his parents with all their money haven’t been able to find him so what chances did I have? Maybe sheer will and the gnawing need to do this for them. I can’t imagine having a family somewhere that was looking for me and I wouldn’t know. Years ago I had believed that it was my case, that
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
OLIVIAMac stays blinking up at me like he hadn’t heard me right. It’s a lot to process so I give him all the time that he needs. “What do you mean you are…” he can’t even get himself to say it. I mean I’m aware that a lot of people out there have a thing against gays, some have made nasty comments about it regarding me in the past but it didn’t matter then. Because I didn’t care about anyone or whatever biased opinion they have of me. With Mac though, I hate the judgement I see in his eyes. It makes me wonder if he would have saved me back then in the bus station if he knew then that I was gay. “It can’t be, it doesn’t make any sense,” he says ad stands up from the tool. I stay rooted in my position. “Are you regretting saving me now?” I ask quietly. He turns to me with a furious look. “Why will you even ask that? What has you being gay got to do with saving you?” “It’s as plain as day that you have a thing against me being gay. Are you going to tell your parents?” the question
Falling Just as Hard CHAPTER FOURTY
JAKEIt has been two days and still there’s no sign of Olivia. Maybe this really is how it was supposed to end between us.Still. I had not believed dad when he said Olivia wasn’t going to show up for the wedding. It had been a challenge between us, if he could bribe her out of wedding me or if her love for me would make her stay by my side. For real this time, instead of that atrocious contract we’d drawn up between us. But Father had won. At the end she had left me and all for what, money? The exact thing I had offered her from the very start. Something, or rather someone stirs beside me and I’m thrown back to the harsh reality of me being married but certainly not to the girl that my heart beats for. “How long have you been up?” Her sleepy voice makes my skin crawl because it conveys the intimacy of our situation and it is one that I’ll never be okay with. Green eyes blink up at me as it struggles to get into focus. I immediately get away when she starts to stretch.“What happe
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Falling Just as Hard Chapter 80
It’s not the strong hospital smell that wakes me up or the warm hand on my cheek. But the twinge of pain that starts in my lower abdomen and spreads to my entire stomach. The first word I say is, “Jake,” followed by a sharp gasp. I hold the side of the bed tight and try to will the pain away. But the more I try to act like it’s not there, the more it eats me up from the inside out. Something warm touches my head at the same time I hear a faint voice ask, “Where are you hurt?” I’m in so much pain that I don’t jump with glee when Drew’s worried face comes into my line of sight. He’s alive but my brain is trying to process what’s wrong with me first. It’s a blood shattering battle. “The doctor-” I gasp, “Call the doctor. Oh my God Jake,” I clutch my stomach, bending over to try and ease the contraction that I’m feeling in there. My baby better be alright, he has to be. Drew removes the needles in his arm when he processes what is happening and leaves the room to get t
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 79
I’ve been paranoid since the meeting with Father, if Drew notices he doesn’t comment on it or ask any questions. . I sigh for the tenth time since we drove out of the house. I know Drew is being patient but with the way he’s tapping his fingers against the wheel I know he’s dying to ask me what happened during the meeting. It’s not like I’m hiding it from him, I’m just waiting till I’m sure what exactly is going on with Sherp till I tell him. There are so many questions that I’m afraid of what the answers will be. The first will be if Sherp has been working for Father the whole time he knew me, which from what Father said I think is the case. Still, he could’ve easily exposed my identity from the very beginning but he didn’t. I need to know what his game is in order to access this situation properly. I mean he gave me the very explosives I used to blow up the boat, why would he do that if he was working for Father? Most importantly, why is he helping Father look fo
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 78
Skipping dinner seemed like the best thing to do when we got home. After our make out in the office, I’ve not been able to look Drew in the eye.The smile on his face hasn’t left ever since and I’m worried he thinks we’re much more than a fake couple now.I can’t deny that what happened is the only sunshine I’ve had in my life since learning that I’ll be having Jake.It’s part of the reason I’m scared to think so much about it. I’m not ready to put a name or tag on how we both feel.My only mistake was skipping out on dinner and turning in early so I wouldn’t have to talk to him. Now I’m lying down wide awake because the hunger gnawing at me won’t let me sleep.I watch the rise and fall of Drew’s chest as he sleeps before slipping out of the bed. I’m careful not to wake him on my way out, carefully navigating through the dark room.When I make it to the stairs I almost leap in joy. Food at last. I take the stairs two at a time and run to the kitchen when I’m down.I cry out in relief
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 77
I don’t come downstairs until the doorbell rings. I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding Jenny and now I was going to risk running into her. The entire house is quiet when I come down, she must be taking a nap. For some reason I tiptoe to the door and stifle a startle when I open the door to a rather grumpy looking Dr. Shelby. All since I’ve known him, he was always smiling, patient. There was this airiness that surrounded him, it always made you feel at ease with him. But all that is left now are deep frown lines on his face and I hate to be the reason for it. “How did you think drinking while being pregnant was a good idea?” he asks the moment he steps past the threshold. “Why keep a child you’re not going to take proper care of?” My breath seizes in my lung. With a slight tilt to my head I study his expression. His eyes are accusing as he glares at me. This right here is not Dr. Shelby. Someone has taken him and put in place this angry version that I’m not used to.
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 76
There’s a soft touch on my shoulder and I look up to see Drew’s worried eyes. He raises his brow asking if I’m okay and I nod. Daisy shakes in my arms, the sleeve of my gown stained with her tears. The meeting should go on but I also can’t leave her in this state when I’m the primary reason she has to go through this grief. “Let me take you home,” I whisper to her. The meeting can always wait, but for now I need to calm her down and make sure she’s okay so she doesn’t hurt herself. She nods into my shoulder. I turn to Drew, “Can you take over the meeting, I’ll take her home now,” I tell him. “Why? Everyone has agreed to you being the new chairman, so you have to finish up. And with Daisy we can’t risk them changing their mind” he whispers to me. I shake my head. “Her feelings right now are more important. You can explain the situation to them and have them vote now. They’ll understand why I have to leave right away,” I say. Daisy is already trembling from c
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 75
Never did I think I’d be back here, in this soulless city that has had nothing but pain to offer me. But here I am, sitting in Drew’s passenger seat with the window down. There’s a random song playing on the radio that fills the silence dwelling between us. I’m grateful for it because after the tense conversation we had, we both needed to process our thoughts. I have to think of myself as Cassie now, I need to slowly immerse myself into her persona. Above all, I have to become her for this irrational plan of mine to work. “Aren’t you cold, the window has been down for so long,” Drew says, his attention still on the road. “Oh, I didn’t realize,” I reply. My body chooses that exact moment to shiver. I don’t miss the smile on Drew’s lips. “What were you thinking so much about?” he asks. I twist slightly to him. “You said you want nothing to do with the company…” I start. His short laugh is nervous, “Yes?” “But I have no idea how to actually run the company
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 74
Everyday that I see the sun rise is torture to my soul. Every morning that I wake up without Don by my side, tears my heart into a million pieces. I don’t know where life ends and where death starts. They’ve both become the same to me. It has made me prisoner in this dark perilous place called my mind. I sit by the window every night and wait for a dawn that never breaks, but that even is too much to ask. This is my own hell. This is my own home. There’s nothing on the news about the explosion. If I hadn’t been there myself I wouldn’t even believe that it happened. No bodies have been found. That is both my hope and my nightmare. Two long months of emptiness and guilt, that is my punishment. What if he’s really gone? What if he didn’t survive? No one could be alive and stay hidden for that long. What if he’s out there looking for me? I deflate. The chances are unlikely, especially after the way we parted. I should have held onto him a little longer, laced his f
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 73
Something was wrong, even a blind man could see it from miles away. I listened through the entire meeting but barely heard a word. They talked mostly about shares and opening another branch in some city I didn’t catch the name. My eyes shifted to the jot pad Car had left on the table, his handwriting had to be the ugliest thing in the world as I scanned over what he had written. He was my assistant, but it felt like he was more, like I should care for him. The meeting was barely over when I stood up from the meeting and left. I went straight to the restroom, sure that a clue to whatever was wrong with him would be there. I went straight to the waste bin that was at the far end of the restroom. Lying at the bottom was a rumpled toilet paper that was stained with blood, and lots of it. There was a sudden panic as I closed the lid, there was something going on with him but what if it was something that wasn’t entirely my business. It was clear he was sick, but sick w
Falling Just as Hard Chapter 72
His lips. They tormented me more than my father. The things I had felt in those few seconds always rattled my heart and made butterflies flutter in my stomach. But then I always remembered, his panic-stricken face after and the fact that he hated me, just like they all did. “I’m sorry” I said as I detangled myself from him and stood straighter, adjusting my tie in the process. He said nothing. He didn’t even acknowledge the fall or the awkward moment his arms had been wrapped around me. Maybe he did this often, letting his male personal assistants fall into his arms. It hit me then! A scandal, Don involved with his male assistant, a gay relationship. It would ruin a respectable family like his. The doors dinged when we got to the ground floor. I walked after him making sure to put a decent space between us. I’ll rather fall on my butt than into his hands again. A black sleek limousine was already waiting when we got out of the building, the other staff glaring daggers a
