“I can't believe that we get to go to the grand opening of the new hotel!” Lydia exclaimed, dancing around the kitchen in her little black dress.“Considering that Jane is dating the owner, it's not that crazy. It's really sweet of Charles to invite us, though,” I replied. I looked around, trying to find my shoes. “Lydia, did you borrow my black heels?”“No. They're in the front closet,” Lydia replied.“Instead of in my closet where they belong?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. She flashed me a big grin that told me she had totally borrowed them. I sighed.“It's just too bad that Wickham couldn't get the night off,” Lydia said with a sigh. “It would have been so nice to have an agent with me at the party. I can feel it in my bones that I'm going to meet a producer tonight.”"Remember, tonight is about Charles' new hotel, not finding a producer. Or an agent, or being discovered," Jane warned. "I don't want this night to end up all about you."“Fine. You two act like I have no so
Mr. Darcy caught me as I bounced off of him, making sure that I didn’t fall. He wore his trademark dark suit that fit him to perfection. His face was freshly shaven, and he smelled amazing because of course, he did. Memories of our dance and the passionate dreams that followed surged through me despite my best efforts to forget them.“Oh, hello,” I said once I regained my balance. I wasn't sure how to talk to him now that I knew the truth. I wanted to slap him again, but I knew that wasn't appropriate. I needed to pretend to be civil. For the sake of Charles and his opening, at the very least."Elizabeth," he greeted me. The way his accent curled on my name made me sound far fancier than I actually was. "Would you like to look around the hotel with me? I was hoping you would join me for a drink as we looked it over.""Sure," I replied without thinking. My smile was brittle as I realized I just agreed to spend time with him. I didn't want to get a drink or anything else with him, but i
Mr. Darcy held my hand in his as he hurried up the stairs. I could barely keep up on my heels as we went, but there was no way I was letting go of him. Not now. Not with this heat and need coursing through my veins.Anger and fury had transformed into need and lust.The second floor of the hotel was deserted. Everyone was downstairs and in the ballrooms enjoying the festivities, so no one was up here. Mr. Darcy looked up and down the length of an empty hallway before pressing me up against the wall and kissing me.The kiss exploded into me as a hot, intense tangle of tongues and teeth. Everything was raw desire as my mouth found his. One hand gripped my hip as the other tangled in my hair, pulling me into him. I wanted more than this, but it was a good start.My hands slid into his jacket and started undoing the buttons on his shirt. I could feel the muscle and tension beneath my fingers. I fumbled with the tiny buttons, unable to focus with the onslaught of all the emotions: hunger,
"I feel stupid, oh so stupid, it's amaaazing how stupid I FEEEEL," I sang softly to myself. No one on the subway even looked at me strangely. People singing on the subway wasn't considered weird in New York City. I half expected someone to throw me a dollar.I pressed my forehead into the cool glass of the window and watched the dark brick walls of the subway pass by. I felt so stupid.Why in the world did I sleep with him?I couldn't wrap my head around it. I could understand that he was the most attractive man I knew. I could see how that might make me do something I now regretted. I wanted to pretend that I'd had some whiskey and some champagne, so I probably wasn't in full control of my faculties. I knew that was a lie.I'd known exactly what I'd been doing when I slept with him.I'd wanted it.And now I was paying for my stupidity.I checked my phone again, but there wasn't a single message from him. He'd slept with me, walked out on me, and then didn't even have the decency to
“That one makes your butt look amazing,” I said to Jane, checking out her form in the mirror. “Seriously, your booty is out of this world in that dress.”Jane laughed and turned so she could see herself better in the mirror of the dressing room.“I do have a pretty fabulous ass,” she admitted with a giggle.“That's the spirit,” I said with a grin. “You should try on the pink one next.”“You mean the one with the slit down to here?” She pointed to her bellybutton. “No way.”I raised my eyebrows at her. “You know you want to.”She rolled her eyes. “I'd never actually wear it.”“And you'd wear this one?” I pointed to her current dress. It was bright red satin and hugged every inch of her so tightly that only her skin color was left to the imagination.“Good point,” she conceded. She picked up the pink dress and headed toward the changing room. She paused at the door, turning to look back at me. “Thank you for this, Lizzie. I'm having fun.”“Good. My evil plan is working,” I teased, dry w
I wanted to turn and throw both drinks in his face, but they were expensive and I didn't want to waste good vodka on him."Mr. Darcy! What a pleasant surprise," Jane greeted him, a smile filling her face. She didn't see my wide eyes and the subtle head shake I was trying to send her. Given her state last night, I hadn't told her about what happened between Mr. Darcy and me yet. As far as she knew, everything was sunshine and roses between us. Or at least as much as there ever had been.“Indeed,” Mr. Darcy replied. “Are you two waiting for a table?”“Nope,” I quickly replied. I turned and put on my best bitchy smile. “We're actually just finishing.”An older man in a smart blue suit came up and tapped Mr. Darcy on the shoulder. “William, our table is ready.”“Excellent,” Mr. Darcy replied. “Fritz, I'd like to introduce you to Elizabeth and Jane.Fritz's gray eyebrows raised and he smiled. “It's a pleasure to meet you both,” he replied warmly. “Would you care to join us? They gave us a
“Okay, seriously Lizzie?” Jane followed me into our apartment, finally getting frustrated with my lack of words on the subway. “If you aren't going to tell me what's going on, then I have no idea what to do to help.”I slammed the front door hard enough to make the walls shake. "I don't want to talk about it right now," I told her. I vibrated with an uncontrolled fury that I was afraid I was going to unleash on her. "Go to your yoga class."Frustration filled Jane's face at not being able to help me. “You pull us out of a fancy restaurant and fume the whole way home,” she said, putting her hands on my shoulders. “Come on, talk to me. Maybe I can help.”I shrugged her hands away. “You can't help,” I told her, doing my best not to sound cruel. “And I don't want to tell you because it will just make things worse.”“That's exactly why you should tell me,” Jane reasoned.“Go to the gym. You have your yoga class that you love,” I replied. She didn't move, so I sighed. “I'll tell you when y
If someone had told me the sky was made of lemon meringue pie, I would have believed them over what I just heard Mr. Darcy said.“Is this a joke?” I asked him. “Are you serious?”“Very serious,” he said softly. He took a step forward and put his hands on my shoulders, peering into my face with unjustified hope. “Please, say that you feel something for me, too.”I pulled back from his touch. “Oh, I feel something, but it is very far from love.”Confusion and something that might even be mistaken for hurt crossed his face, but I knew better than that. He had to be playing some sort of game with me.“You honestly think that this was the way to tell me you love me?” I asked. I wasn't cold anymore. I was livid.“This wasn't what I planned,” he said looking around at the rain. “This isn't how I planned to tell you.”“No, not the rain,” I corrected. “'I can have anyone. Any supermodel, heiress, or actress. I could have women more beautiful and accomplished than you in a heartbeat,'” I repeat
Two days later I woke before dawn. It was my day off, so I didn't need to be awake, yet I couldn't go back to sleep. I itched to get up and move. My brain was too full and my heart too tender to sit in bed and think.I put on my favorite black exercise pants and a soft sweatshirt. Outside, the dark air frosted with every breath and ice hung on the tree branches and buildings as I walked to Central Park. It was quiet in the early gray morning. There were only a few runners pounding the pavement, but they kept to themselves, huffing and puffing like dragons in the gray light.It was as close to being alone in the city as I could get.A layer of snow glistened and glimmered on the grass. No one had disturbed it yet, so it was still perfect and white. For a moment, I could imagine that there were no other people in the entire world. It was just me and the cold.I wished the cold could freeze my hope. I wished that it could freeze the ache inside of me every time I thought about him. I cou
A few days later, I sat behind the nurses' station filling out paperwork. Despite going to a paperless system years ago, I still somehow managed to have mountains of paperwork for my patients. I just wanted to finish and head home. I'd already reported to the night nurses, so once I finished putting in the last few sets of vitals and notes, I could leave.A shower and bed sounded like the best thing in the world.“Hey, Lizzie,” the charge nurse called to me. “There's someone here to see you.”Lydia and Jane rarely visited me at work, and if they did, it was always at lunchtime so I could buy them cafeteria food. I knew it wasn't them, and despite my dreams, I knew that Mr. Darcy would never show up here.I sighed, hit save, closed my screens, and went to see who wanted me. Maybe it was a former patient. Those always made my day.It was not a patient.I came to the entrance of the unit to find a woman in an expensive pantsuit and a mean look on her face waiting for me. She looked like
I stared up at the tall building just outside of Central Park that Mr. Darcy worked at. I'd verified that it was the right one on the walk over and I even knew which office was his. I hoped that I could see him and thank him for what he'd just done for my family. I just had to get past security and his secretaries.The lobby was full of windows and bright, modern architecture. There were two sets of elevators, but to get to them, I had to get past security. I squared my shoulders and walked up.“Hello, I'm here to see Mr. Darcy,” I announced. My voice squeaked a little.“Name?” The big guard asked.“Elizabeth Bennet,” I replied. “I just need to see him for a minute. I'm sure if you tell him I'm here he'll let me come up, and I just really need to see him.”The security guard waited until I stopped babbling. “Ma'am, you're already on the approved list. Take the second elevator to the top. Have a nice day.”“Oh.”I nodded and walked past him to the elevator and got on. Mr. Darcy had me
Thirty-some-odd hours later, I was no closer to finding my sister.“Any word on Lydia?” Jane asked, coming into the kitchen. I sat at the table, searching my phone.I shook my head. "I called the police, but she's an adult, and she isn't really missing," I told her. "And California is a big place."“I'm so sorry, Lizzie.” Jane put her hands on my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze.“My uncle is driving down from Sacramento today, but I'm not sure how much help it's going to be,” I continued. “Mom and Dad are in the middle of the ocean on their cruise. They can't do anything.”I looked down at my cereal and realized I hadn't eaten a bite of it. It was now just soggy mush.“How are you doing?” Jane asked. I could tell she was worried about me."I didn't sleep the night of the party, and I didn't sleep much last night. I just kept looking up and calling hotels," I told her. I played with the soggy cereal with my spoon. I wasn't hungry anyway. "She's been in California for forty-e
He got out and ran around to open my car door. It made me smile and feel important to be treated like a lady. I was a self-sufficient and strong woman, but it was nice to be taken care of too.I babbled in the elevator about the weather on our way up. It wasn't because I thought the weather would interest him, but more because I was afraid I would want to kiss him if I didn't keep my mouth busy.Even in the pale neon glow of the elevator, he was the most handsome man I'd ever met in real life. Being in the elevator with him close enough to touch, I could smell his cologne. I remembered the way he made me feel. I could feel myself leaning toward him, wanting to feel that again.I needed to get a grip on myself and my hormones. I'd hurt him, and I needed to go slow if I wanted to regain any of his trust. I was still surprised that he had agreed to the drink. I didn't want to push my luck too much and kissing him in the elevator would definitely do that.Relief washed over me as the ele
Two drinks, some food, and the most amazing dinner rolls I'd ever eaten, and I was having a wonderful evening. It was the most surprising thing to me.Georgiana never stopped talking, it seemed. She always had something sweet and funny to say, and I was glad. It filled in the awkward silences whenever Mr. Darcy and I didn't know what to say. She kept the conversation smooth and flowing.He kept watching me, those blue eyes taking in my every movement. To be fair, I kept watching him from the corner of my eye. He looked so handsome sitting with us. His dark hair was combed back, and his suit displayed the strength of his shoulders and trim of his waist.It helped that I knew exactly what was under that suit, but I knew I would never have that again. Still, every time he glanced over at me, my heart did flipflops. I had slept with the man, so there was no reason to be nervous around him, yet there I was. I felt like a schoolgirl next to the captain of the football team.I laughed too h
“He won't be here, he won't be here, he won't be here,” I chanted softly as the taxi drove me to the hotel. If I said it enough times, then I knew it would have to come true.I looked out the window to see a beautiful old brick building come into sight. I could see why he'd picked this hotel.The annual holiday hospital party was being held at one of the fancy hotels on the other side of the park from me. It was close, but I would have to take a cab or walk across the park at night. That wasn't really a problem until I found out that Mr. Darcy was known for staying in the penthouse suite of this particular hotel. It was his preferred location when in New York. Because that was how my life worked.I considered not going to the party. I considered simply returning the gorgeous dress I'd rented and staying in my apartment eating chocolate ice cream and watching lame Christmas movie specials where everyone ended up happy and celebrating the magic of Christmas.But Jane told me no. And Ly
“Holy crap.” Jane stared at me with big eyes and an open mouth. “Wickham seemed so nice.”“I know,” I replied, setting down my breakfast bowl of ice cream on the counter to add a little more chocolate sauce. I needed chocolate after last night.Lydia was off at her photo-shoot this morning, so I'd told Jane about the letter. I only told her the part about Wickham, though. Telling her that she'd lost the love of her life because Mr. Darcy thought she was a gold-digger wasn't going to do her any good.Jane shook her head before going back to scrubbing the oven. Jane claimed she was over Charles, but the fact that our kitchen was the cleanest it had ever been since the 1970's said otherwise. He wasn't answering her calls or messages. She said it wasn't a big deal, but I didn't believe her. She'd even gotten a toothbrush out to clean the grout between the kitchen tiles. She'd already done it to the bathroom. Twice.Thus, I wasn't telling her. She was running out of things to clean.“I ch
“Are you okay, Liz?”I startled and looked up to see one of the CICU night nurses standing in front of me. Her hand rested on my shoulder, and she looked concerned.“What?” I shook myself, still lost in thought."You're only half dressed, and your shift ended twenty minutes ago," she said gently. "Are you okay?"I looked around the changing area. I was still in the CICU locker room after my shift. I'd managed to put on jeans, but I still wore my scrub top. I'd been sitting on a changing bench with my blue scrub pants in my hands staring into nothingness.“Oh.” I did my best to smile and shake my head like it was nothing. “Just a lot on my mind.”"Okay." My co-worker paused and took a careful breath. "I saw the video. If you need someone to talk to, just let me know. Men suck."I nodded. “Thanks.”“Okay. Have a good night,” she said, heading back out of the locker room. I stared at the closed door behind her, hating and loving the silence of the changing area. The video of Mr. Darcy a