• 03 •

EVA

Boutiques were a special kind of hell. They could fool people with their rows and rows of designer clothes, the soothing air blasting from the AC's, the excited looks on people's faces, Satan's absence and the lack of a blazing red inferno, but they didn't fool me. 

This was where people's self esteems came to die. And mine was in danger of drawing it's last breath. 

"Let me show you to another section. " the sales attendant bared her teeth in something too shark-like to be a smile, clasping her hands in front of her. She'd clung to our side from the moment her eyes latched onto us, when we came in and had refused to leave, offering suggestions when she thought we needed them. 

One could barely blame her. One look at Mrs Lawson and the twins and you'd know they were moneyed. With Mrs Lawson looking startlingly young in blue jeans, a cashmere sweater, her face coated in light make-up, Abi, in a brown long-sleeved thigh-length sheath gown, Zoe, in a black baggy designer T-shirt that I'd definitely cop, paired with a short Jean skirt and shorts, and finally, me, in my baggy faded joggers and holey oversized hoodie, it didn't take a genius to figure out I was the outsider. 

I felt like a rat. 

"Another section? " Mrs Lawson threw an incredulous look at the girl, "When we've only just entered this one? "

My brows rose involuntarily. If spending an hour at a place counted as just entered, then she was right. 

"But there are somuch mode clothes for her to try out. Spending all her money on—"

"She can get as many clothes as she wants. " Mrs Lawson cut in, obviously offended. 

The sale's attendants already attained smile, turned apologetic as she nodded, "Of course. "

I could guess it would not be favourable getting on a customer's bad side especially at a place like this, reputable for it's top notch deliveries and customer service. According to Mrs Lawson, it was the best boutique in Abuja and the most expensive. Of course I could easily have figured that out with the decor and amount of people milling around. If the place hadn't been as huge as it was, I'd have suffocated to death. 

I looked up to find Mrs Lawson watching me. 

"Do you have all you need here, Eva? "

What a question. 

The huge pile of clothes in the cart beside her could answer that for me. They were tops. All of them. This was the first and only section of the boutique we had entered and I already had more clothes than I'd had my entire life. 

Who spent an hour shopping on just tops? Mrs Lawson apparently. Not that I was complaining or anything, but my legs were threatening to give. If she planned on spending an hour on every section we entered, then I was definitely going to pass out. 

"In my opinion, " she continued, "You need much more than these. But if you'd rather come another time for more, that would be okay too. "

"I'd rather come another time. " I hurriedly said, and in a bid not to hurt her feelings, added, "Probably newer clothes will be out by then. "

I didn't really care about the clothes, I wasn't one for trend. I'd just opted for something that would sound convincing enough to her. 

"How convenient. " I heard Zoe mutter behind me. 

I acted like I didn't hear her and stared straight at Mrs Lawson, whose face broke out in a warm smile I'd come to grow fonder of within the past two days. 

"That's true. I hadn't even thought about that. " 

"So where next? " the assistant piped in, bouncing on the heels of her feet, her vibe, restored. She had passion for her job, that was for sure. 

"Skirts and trousers. " Mrs Lawson answered without hesitating. 

"I'll lead the way. " the attendant made a grab for the cart, but I beat her to it. I'd felt fifty shades of uncomfortable watching her push my stuff around and I wasn't going to let her continue if I had a say at all. Which, apparently, I did because no-one said a thing.

We walked out and into a hallway where we almost bumped into two girls coming in. We entered the next door in the hallway, which was for bottoms, indicated by flashing neon light. 

We paused in front of the rows of clothes and I could tell we were all thinking the same thing, where do we start from?

"Do you wear skirts, Eva? " the attendant surprised me by directing her question at me. 

"No, not really. " I answered quietly. 

"But you'd love to start wearing them now? I'm sure they'd look good on you. " Mrs Lawson added. 

"I'm not sure. " I kicked at the tires of my cart. 

"How will you know if you don't try it? " she asked tentatively. 

I shook my head, but I didn't look up at her. Hell. Why couldn't I have been a normal person with a normal life, dress sense, looks, likes and all? Why did I have to be a giant oddball with baggage the size of Africa? 

The atmosphere shifted, becoming suddenly awkward. No one said a thing and I couldn't find it in me to check what their reactions were afraid I'd see the familiar irritated looks I saw on people's faces when they dealt with me, on theirs. 

"Trousers then. " the attendant clapper suddenly, catching me by surprise. Everyone really. 

She walked briskly and Mrs Lawson followed silently. I wondered if she was pissed at me. That would be hard to stomach. I turned to the twins, curious. Zoe stared at me blankly, no surprises there, while Abi gave me an apologetic smile. How... Nice? 

For the past two days, —yes, it was my third day with the Lawsons and I was still of sound body and mind— Zoe had proceeded to ignore my existence to the point that I caught myself actually feeling my body just to make sure that I was indeed flesh and not a ghost. We hadn't had a single conversation since we were never really alone together, thank God, other than the usual 'good mornings' we exchanged. Well, I said, I wasn't sure she ever responded. 

My intuitions had been right about Abi. She'd turned out to be the safe twin. Polite, nice and patient when showing me the basics around something. I wasn't that uncomfortable around her anymore. It was progress even if it was small. 

Her smile had me feeling slightly better. Slightly being the operative word. I simply couldn't handle Mrs Lawson being pissed at me. 

Mrs Lawson's voice pierced through my not-so-clowded thoughts. "You only own baggy jeans,  Eva, do you think you might want to try out form-fitting ones? "

I glanced up at her, relief washing over me on seeing the small smile on her face. I blew out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding. So she wasn't pissed after all. 

Or maybe she was over it. 

"No, they're not really my style. I'd rather stick to the ones I'm used to. " I managed to maintain eye contact with her. 

Her smile fell, "But you—" she cut herself off, sighing, "Okay then. "

How long was it before she grew tired of me? 

"This one, definitely. "

"Oh my God. Look at this color. "

"This one would look good on you. "

Mrs Lawson and the attendant finally managed to drown me in a heap of trousers. I could barely see past them. Why they hadn't just loaded them into another cart, was a mystery to me. 

"Go try them out. " Mrs Lawson waved me away. 

My eyes scanned the room, wondering in what direction the changing room was. When I couldn't find it, I turned to the attendant, "Where is the changing room? "

She pointed to the back of the room where I now saw a door was located, "Down there. It's the same for all rooms. "

I nodded, turned and marched towards my destination. I really didn't need to try most of them out as I already knew they were my size, but I'd turned down Mrs Lawson enough for one day and I wanted to make up for it any way I could. 

The changing room was a big plain space, with the only things in there being a couch, table and mirrors lining the wall in front and back. 

I dumped the heap on the couch, locked the door, took off my joggers, then proceeded to try the new clothes out.

After successfully trying them all out, I figured three of them were several sizes bigger than I was. I flung them over my shoulder in order not to get them mixed up with the rest, then I made my way back outside. 

Mrs Lawson looked up when she saw me coming. The twins, though, we're nowhere in sight and the attendant was occupied with rearranging the hanged clothes, spreading them to fill the newly empty spaces. 

"They all fit. " I dumped the clothes into my already full cart, extending the oversized ones to her, "Except these two. "

The shopping progressed from there, everything falling back smoothly into place. It turned out the twins were sitting by the entrance of the room and they got up when they saw us coming. 

Underwears were next, then slides, then finally, my most dreaded clothings, gowns. 

The doors at the entrance of the room slid open, my mouth falling open along with it. A group of people bumped into me, causing me to lose my grip on the cart for a few seconds before righting it. 

"Good God. " Mrs Lawson gaped, "Look how packed the place is. "

"Exactly what I was going to say. " Abi pursed her lips.

My body rejected the idea of having to squeeze past such amount of people and risk them bumping into me from time to time and maybe even do damage. Who knew?

"We don't have to buy the gowns today. "

"Don't worry. We will. " Mrs Lawson gave me a small smile,  that wasn't even convincing in the slightest, before her face crumpled, "But the crowd. "

Zoe's light chuckle caught me off-guard and I turned to see her shaking her head, "I remember saying that coming here today would be a bad idea. But of course no one listened to me. "

Mrs Lawson's brows dove down, "I don't remember you saying anything like that. "

"She did, Mum. " Abi said at the same time Zoe said, "I did. You just weren't paying attention to me. "

"Well, you can't really blame me for not listening to you when you always tend to be pessimistic. "

Oh, boy. 

"You think I'm pessimistic. " Zoe shot back. 

This was starting to get uncomfortable. What was I supposed to do in a situation like this? Did I shut my mouth and let them argue until one of them grew tired? Zoe showed no signs of backing down and by the look on Mrs Lawson's face, I knew she wasn't going to too. 

"Look, now is not the time, Zoe. "

A bitter smile found its way to Zoe's face, "When ever is it the time? "

I glanced at Abi but I couldn't read the look on her face. Oh, hell. 

"There she goes again. " Mrs Lawson shook her head, taking several steps inside the crowded room. 

"That she is your daughter. " her voice cracked on the last word. And for the first time since I met her, I saw an expression on Zoe's face. Hurt. It made her..... Human. 

"And that means your bad attitude should be pardoned? "

I wanted to run. Just get the hell out of there.

Zoe's face shuttered. Where hurt had been a second ago, a blank look now lived. What terrified me was the ease with which she hid her emotions. Masking one's emotions was an art, and Zoe, I realized, was a master artist. 

"Bad attitude? " she cried, "I —"

"Have some respect, Zoe. " Mrs Lawson cut her off, "If you're too shameless to have any for yourself, have some for me at least. "

Ouch.

"Mom, it's okay. " Abi finally spoke up. But she was too late. 

Zoe turned to Abi, giving me her face in profile. She had that carefully constructed mask of indifference on and I almost believed I had imagined the look of hurt on her face. Almost. 

"I'll be outside. " she made it very obvious she was speaking to Abi in particular before walking off. 

It was perfectly normal for parents to get into fights with their children every now and then but witnessing Abi and Mrs Lawson argue, threw me off. There had been an underlying tension there, like they had been talking from a place deep inside them and those were bottled up feelings they'd been dying to let out. 

I gazed at Mrs Lawson, wondering if my theory was right. Did they have arguments like this often? With the venom in her words and the bitterness in Zoe's, I'd bet they did. 

Now is not the time, Zoe. 

When ever is the time? 

It was definitely not the first time they hashed things out like this. 

But........ Why? 

Then I realized the oddest thing. They had never had a single conversation in my presence, none that I took not of anyway. Could it be that they had more going on between them than just a mere misunderstanding? 

The impenetrable Zoe's mask had skewed for a few long, uncomfortable seconds.

"Eva what do you think? " Mrs Lawson raised a blue gown in front of her, showing me it's full length and style. 

It was pretty but, really? Now? 

I shook my head, taking a step back from my cart, "I—I need to use the restroom. "

She frowned, taken aback by the abrupt change in subject, "Oh? Well, it's —"

I dashed out of there before she could finish her sentence.

The boutique was huge, the size of a whole mall. Finding the restroom without asking for directions wasn't going to be easy. Although I didn't specifically need the restroom. Any room would do. All I needed was to hide behind a wall. And breathe.

Granted, it was a cowardly thing to do, but that was the only way I knew how to deal with uncomfortable situations.

Shoppers stared at me strangely as I raced past them. They probably thought I was mad and I wouldn't blame them if they did. I tried to imagine what I looked like to them. A haggard five foot four teenager, racing through the Updated Collections with no one chasing her. 

What a view. 

I skidded to a stop when I realized I was standing in what happened to be a narrow hallway with a door on the right and left each labeled; FIRE EXIT and, thank God, RESTROOMS.

I pushed the door open, walking into a wide hallway with a total of five toilets in it. I wasted no time in trying the door knobs, searching for the unoccupied room. 

Locked. Locked. Locked. Locked. 

Please let the last one be open. Please God, let the last one be open.

I tried the handle slowly, saying a silent prayer, and yes! Open.

I shouldered in, stumbling to a halt and my eyes going wide at the sight that awaited me. It took me five seconds to process what I was seeing, five seconds to deem it inappropriate and another five seconds for me to turn away because it was somewhat captivating.

There was a guy, with his front to me and his feet planted wide and a girl on her knees before him, who appeared to be.......... servicing him.

The former merely stared at the intruder while the latter threw me an irritated look. No shame whatsoever, when she should have been considering how low she had brought herself. Literally. One look. That was all she gave me before before she turned back around and yep, she was still holding his thing. 

The guy, who hadn't taken his eyes off me since I interrupted them, pushed her head away lightly. She pouted up at him.

"Another time, maybe. " he spoke, his voice catching me by surprise.

She rose in one graceful move and my eyes flew up instantly because that meant he was hanging free. Hanging free. Wonder why it was so hard to stop thinking about that. 

She shouldered past me and that was when I got a good look at her. She looked to be in her early twenties and apparently, she worked here, in the boutique because she was wearing a shirt with the boutique logo. A long and artistically designed U.

Hanging with a guy when she should have been working. How professional. Well, technically, she had been seeing to a customer's needs but that particular need wasn't among the services she rendered. 

When did I get so judgmental? I wasn't even one to talk. Why on earth was I still standing here when in my right state of mind, I would have gotten the hell out of this place?

It must be shock. Of having being scandalized. That had to be it.

The slam of the door ricocheted in the small room, signaling the girl's departure. 

I should turn around and leave. I knew I should. I had absolutely no reason staying here. What I'd needed, was an empty room. This one was far from empty, so the normal thing to do would be to apologize, turn around and leave.

But I wasn't normal and I couldn't, for some totally ridiculous reason, pull my eyes away from the riveting male in front of me. 

He'd tucked himself in but his zipper still gaped and he made no move to roll it up. Instead, he took one step, then another, and another, then a final one that brought him for to toe with me, right in my personal space. He'd seemed to grow taller with each step and with him standing this close, he dwarfed me. I had never considered myself a short person, but he certainly made me feel like I was now.

"You pissed her off. " he surprised me by speaking again. It wasn't merely his talking that surprised me —it was his voice. It was light, raspy and yes, sexy.

By her, I assumed he was talking about the girl that just left here. 

"Are you mute? " he asked.

What a stupid question to ask a mute. 

Again, why was I still standing here and why wasn't I freaking out over him standing so close to me? Two very reasonable questions I should be trying to answer.

"My eyes are up here. Stop ogling. It's disrespectful. "

My eyes flew up to his face and with a scowl etched on mine, I glared at him, "I wasn't ogling. "

He blinked once. Twice. Then his mouth dropped open, quite comically, "Fuck me. " he breathed, "You're beautiful. "

If I were shades lighter, I would be the color of a tomato right now. Thank God for my skin tone. The only physical reaction his compliment were my eyes dropping, but even that was short lived because they had way more importantly things doing. For instance, they were currently preoccupied with the model-worthy face of this male.

He was young. Younger than I had initially thought he was and he had all the features romance authors seemed to be infatuated with; sculpted cheekbones, square jaw, straight nose, enviably long lashes, and those pouty lips that I seemed to love. He had every single thing.

It was almost annoying.

A tiny flicker of light trickled in from the only window in the room to rest directly on my face. Just as I turned to shield my eyes away from the burning, he caught my hand, shocking me with that bold move.

Warm, big, hands encircled my wrist and I stared at them puzzlingly as if they had the answers to all the questions running through my mind. 

When he spoke this time, his voice was low and filled with awe, "You have the rainbow in your eyes. How's that even possible? "

My breath caught. 

My eyes!

I'd been so caught up in the moment, I had completely forgotten about them. About everything that was wrong with me.

Tensing, I tugged my hand out of his grip, which turned out to be surprisingly free, then dashed out of there like my ass was on fire. I  regretted not stealing one last look at his face before leaving. Oh, well. I would live. 

I sighed immediately I caught sight of Mrs Lawson and Abi. Back to shopping. Sure I was excited for the clothes. Who wouldn't be? It was just the process that killed. Before we'd come to the boutique, we had gone to Abi and Zoe's school, Ivacy High, to get me enrolled in. As at now, I was officially a student of a school reputed to be one of the best in Nigeria. How...... odd. 

Monday, I started school. With new classmates, teachers, teaching pattern and syllabus. I was already getting stressed thinking about it so I tried to push it to the back of my mind.

Monday was two days away and I would deal with it when it came. Now, I had to get through this shopping. 

Mrs Lawson grinned at me, with a gown —and her eyebrows— raised.

I sighed again, plastering a fake smile on my face. 

At least it was fun for someone.