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Chapter 100 — “I’ve always loved you.”

My first love, my first kiss, and my virginity... All my firsts belong to Julian Adams. Maybe he’s not aware of how much he meant to me, what he means to me, but somehow I’d like him to know.

I’m tired of hiding how I feel, of running away from my feelings, masking my emotions, and trying to fit into labels that don’t fit me. I tried to move on, and I did. I somehow loved Eric, even if it wasn’t in the same way, with the same intensity.

I know that love doesn’t have to be the same, but I secretly wish it were because keeping my feelings for Julian deep in the bottom of my heart isn’t the same as destroying them. But I suspect that even if that had happened, I would have learned to love him again.

Now, the decision is in my hand again. I can pretend and lie and bury it all, or face how I feel and the consequences... even if it means hurting the person we both love most in this world. But yeah, I made my choice.

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