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Trigger Warnings Please Read
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Hello! I hope everyone is enjoying my work so far.
I just want to inform you that the next chapter and some of the succeeding chapters will tackle several topics and experiences that may be triggering to some.
I would like to apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended or triggered by them. I understand that these are serious matters and must be handled delicately.
Please remember that this is a work of fiction and in no way do I encourage these destructive behaviors. I will list the possible trigger warnings below (I will edit this if there are any changes), if any of them make you uncomfortable, please proceed with caution or skip the chapters altogether.
Thank you for understanding, and for supporting my work until now. I hope we can all be together till the end.
WARNINGS:
- eating disorders
- self-harm
- blackmailing
- suicidal thoughts
- mentions of rape (nothing explicit, I promise)
- human rights violations (human trafficking, physical abuse, etc.)
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Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 90
The first step is to test Dante. I know he still has feelings for me, he’s just burying them for some absurd reason, but in the event that he doesn’t love me anymore, my plan won’t matter, hence this experiment.Perhaps giving him a little scare would be worth the sacrifice I will make.For the next few days, I fall into a steady routine. My meals are brought up to me on time, and each time, I eat less and less until my body became comfortable with the new intake of food. Most days were particularly hard, especially at night when I could feel and hear my stomach grumble in protest despite the delicious food staring at me, but I stayed firm.At the end of each day, before going to bed, I take two sleeping pills normally. And every day, I wake up feeling worse than the last.The dosages of the pills are too strong to handle on a near-empty stomach, causing some abdominal pains, and slight nausea, but I’ll endure it.Three days pass like this, with me starving myself until the food prese
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 91
Dante doesn’t even seem bothered in the least about this situation. Granted Natalie and I aren’t in the best of terms after what happened. But blackmailing someone with murder, kidnapping and a lot of other shit is going way beyond the line. I read through the card again just to make sure I didn’t imagine it. “… men sent to seize assets… burn down their warehouses… kill their family— you want me to say this to her?” I ask my voice, gradually getting louder as I get to the most absurd parts. With half of my breakfast had already left my body, I feel faint. “Is she here?” I prompt further when Dante doesn’t reply, opting to walk past me and exit the room, only to have me following like a lost puppy. “She and her husband, both.” That’s when my mouth drops to the floor. “I can’t do this. I won’t do this,” I say with all the confidence I could muster. This time, Dante stops walking right in the middle of the hall going to his office. Without looking back at me, he speaks with a low t
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 92
I know it’s not blind trust that allows Luca to let me walk away. It’s the fact that he knows I’m too broken to do anything else.My tears were already streaming down my face before I even made it to the bedroom. I just threatened a pregnant woman with her own child. It might have been subtle but the threat was real and if I hadn’t noticed that she was pregnant what would I have done?My mind swims with the prospect of killing the unborn child, either by my hand or Dante’s. And the fact that she wanted me to sign their possible death sentences is beyond my understanding. I want to smack Natalie for getting pregnant during this time. The timing is so bad! What if something happens to Abel? The grief alone would kill her.I want to get out of here.Through my blurry eyes, I spot the little bottle of sleeping pills. Reaching for it, I open the bottle and dump a generous amount in my hand. The little blue pills stare at me menacingly, but it’s now or never.“Ah, fuck it.”~~~DanteThe Fo
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 93
JeanI wake up to the gentle press of soft lips against mine. In my groggy state, it takes me a while to register what’s happening. What a time to wake up. I can school my features to remain neutral, but keeping my heart rate normal is a difficult feat. I force myself to breathe slowly as Dante slowly backs away. He doesn’t seem to notice. Seconds later, I hear his receding footsteps and the gentle thud of the door as it closes.I wait a few minutes to make sure no one is coming back before I carefully peel open one eye to check my surroundings. No one is here, but making it outside is a different challenge. I don’t know when they will return so I must make haste.Despite my limbs feeling dead and heavy, I force myself to get up and get used to it. The pills despite only taking a few did quite a number on me. I don’t know for how long I’ve slept but it’s enough to cause a panic. Just like I’d planned.In a few hours, those little blue pills will have dissolved in the sewers and none w
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 94
After spending a night in the infirmary, I feel a lot better, like a pet who’d been let out for a walk. God, is this really what I’ve been reduced to? A pet that needs to be taken out every once in a while.As Nina promised, Dante doesn’t come back that night, instead, just as the clock strikes 8 PM, a soft knock sounds at the door.Without waiting for an answer, Adeline peers inside, and immediately it’s as if my world lights up anew.“Adeline,” I whisper mostly to myself, elated that she showed up. After Nina’s aversion to disobeying Dante, the thought of Adeline ignoring my request played around in my head for a while.“What can I do for you, Miss?”What’s this? Adeline doesn’t look me in the eyes for very long, instead opting to admire the geometric designs of the infirmary’s sheets. Did something happen with her too? How much shit have I missed being locked up in my room?“Did Nina tell you what happened to me?” I ask gingerly, hoping that at the very least, Adeline has a genera
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 95
Waking up in cold sweat, a pounding heart, and chills all over my body have been a regular occurrence that I don’t fight it anymore. My subconscious has stopped fighting it, so I let myself be consumed by the nightmare over and over and over.‘I won’t remember this anyway.’ I think subconsciously, because I never do, even if my body remembers the tremors and the ache in my chest.The thrashing is the worst. It’s probably why I wake up with at least half a dozen new bruises every day, from hitting it on the bedframe or the nightstand. The screaming is second because then, I wake up with a sore throat and hoarse voice. The crying is pretty bad too when I have to wake up with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.But I’m used to it.Which is why this time it’s different. Because, in the pitch black of my room, the exact same as it had been in my nightmare, phantom hands are circling my torso as I scream for dear life.I thrash and kick, anything to get rid of the foreign feeling, screaming
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 96
It doesn’t take long before the quiet tears evolve into violent sobs. The kind where your shoulders shake uncontrollably as the hiccups escape. The kind that leaves you heaving and clutching at your chest for any sense of stability.But there’s no amount of effort that I could have done to ease the hurt in my heart. I don’t know how to cope or hope to process Dante’s confession.He’s doing this for me.Is he really?He’s keeping me hidden to protect me.Am I really protected?He thinks that I hate him……but I don’t.There’s something powerful stirring in my chest but it’s not hate. Understanding, maybe? Frustration, guilt, anger, but not hate… because I love him.“I love him.”The words leave my lips followed by a choked gasp. I’d never admitted it to myself before. I’ve never allowed myself to acknowledge the feelings because I know it would never end well. Dante could never leave his empireI know in my heart that I love him, but can I really live a life of blood and violence? Where
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 97
“Don’t worry, Bub. I got you.” The boy—no, the young man— cradles a little girl in his arms, trying to calm her screaming. They’re both wet from an unexpected dive into the lake and I watch, frozen where I stand.My sister almost died and I did nothing. I’m a horrible sister.“No, you’re not. You called me. You did the right thing.”Did I say that out loud?The young man stares at me with storm gray eyes burning with determination. He wasn’t going to stop until I accept that this isn’t my fault.But it kind of is. My sister and I weren’t supposed to be here. But I wanted to see this young man. He played with us, and he cared for us.That’s right. This person holding my sister is Gavin.~~~Why did I dream of that?I shift on the bed slightly and immediately hate myself for it. Wincing at the sudden movements, memories from the previous night flashback immediately.The slow and passionate sex turned into a rough night of fucking our frustrations on one another. I’m sure that if I look
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Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] EPILOGUE
12 YEARS LATER. “Come on! We’re going to miss it! Hurry, Papa!” “Okay, okay. Slow down, sweetheart.” The man hastens after his daughter, weaving through a small crowd of people that had just arrived, same as them. The young girl complains, “We promised Lily we’d be on time—there!” she points to the entrance of the auditorium. “Lily!” Lily waves back frantically at her sister. “You made it, Rose!” Lily replies running up the remainder of the distance between them. “You missed the opening ceremony but the displays are out. Come on!” The twins leave their father behind, opting to rush inside the auditorium that was converted into a small gallery to display the artworks created by the students of the summer art program. The auditorium is large for a school with a population of only a few hundred, but the family decided that a private school was best for their kids. “Ah, you’ve finally arrived,” Jean greets her husband as he strides toward her. She looks as beautiful as ever with her
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 137
Jean“Is there somewhere we can talk privately?” he asks when he notices the tear that escapes my eye. “I won’t have tears for our reunion, love.”I quickly wipe away the tears that managed to stain my cheeks and pull away from the man I used to call my husband.With my head still spinning, I manage to get out of work immediately with the promise that I would close the deal with the mysterious art donor.Dante—or rather, Gavin and I find ourselves behind the safety of my apartment doors soon enough.“Now,” I order just as the doors close behind us. “Explain yourself.”Gavin quirks an eyebrow at me, “Quite a warm welcome, love.” I sense the sarcasm in his voice which makes me roll my eyes at him.“When you explain yourself, I might reconsider.”“Why are you mad at me?” he asks almost in disbelief. “When everything I did, I did for you.”“For me?” I scoff loudly, returning the same energy and disbelief. “You left me alone for two years! Even when I asked you to come—” then shaking my he
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 136
JeanI think it’s been three days since I learned about Dante’s death. Three days that I’ve stayed home, calling in sick for work because there’s no way I can hold myself together in public when I burst into tears every hour or so.It’s been three days since my world shattered.The television has been playing on the same news channel the whole time with me waiting for any developments. I dove into the deeper parts of the internet, looking for any information but there is none to be found.“This is it, huh?” I whisper to myself, clinging onto the fleece blanket wrapped around me as I stare out the window. The heavy rain doesn’t help my mood at all, but it gives me comfort that the sky weeps for my loss too.I go to sleep that night feeling a blackhole-sized void in my heart.~~~The next morning, I woke up with several texts from the gallery asking me to come back to work. I’ve informed them that I couldn’t come but it must be an emergency if even my head supervisor is leaving me voic
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 135
JeanI don’t remember the bar being this stuffy, but I somehow find myself suffocating in the middle of a conversation with my colleagues. And suddenly the black dress I’m wearing is too short and too tight on my body.I shouldn’t have come tonight. It’s a full night at the club, and it doesn’t take long before I request to move to a private room. I’m met with various curious and lust-filled looks but I ignore them. Parisians know how to party, and oftentimes those parties involve more than just drinking and dancing, there’s always something more.I’m sure my colleagues assumed I was asking for more, but I simply needed to get away from the crowd.Lara invited way too many strangers, but I figured this party was more for them than it was for my work anniversary. But I go along with it. I’ll just have to find an excuse to leave a bit earlier than the rest of them.“Jean, why aren’t you dancing?” Lara pipes up hugging me from behind. I chuckle softly, she’s already buzzed. “Ditch these
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 134
Jean I fumble with my coat as I reach for my phone in my purse. The rain hasn’t let up once since December rolled in. I would have preferred to stay in the office today, but the statement for Bianca’s tuition came in my email last night.I tried to call her, but Bianca’s phone seems to be turned off and I went straight to voice mail.“Hey, Bub. I’m on my way to the bank now to pay for your tuition and other fees. Let me know if you need anything else— Oh! And as usual, do you want me to release your trust yet or not? That’s all bye! Call me back!”The answer has always been the same. Bianca doesn’t want to touch the money our parents left us until she was making her own. And I took it upon myself to pay for her education despite her protests.But I still figured I’d ask her every four months or so. Bianca was sustaining herself by working part-time and getting free lessons by volunteering for every camp and workshop. But she grew up sheltered and pampered. As her big sister, I still
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 133
DanteIn the end, Jean leaves like a thief in the night. She left no note except for the signed divorce papers on top of the living room center table. I watch from the balcony as Jean shoulders a small carry-on bag with only her essentials. Despite the thundering protests I feel stirring in my chest, I know that tonight is the night I lose her. From the corner of my eye, I spot a few men with guns trained at her, ready to fire at my command. Their previous orders were to not allow Jean out of their sight, which includes having to injure her if she gets taken away by enemies again. But this time is different.Luca stands beside me, watching the same scene unfold. “Dante, are you sure about letting her get away?”I understand his sentiments. The amount of time, money, and effort I’d put into making her mine, only to watch her walk away in the end.And I was sure. But as I watch her walk away, I find out that letting her go is the single hardest thing I’ve done in my life.“Yes, tell m
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 132
DanteI let Jean cry in my arms. The contract was a way to keep us both tethered to each other, and now that it’s gone, there’s nothing officially tying us together. In a way, we both lost someone tonight.“What happens now?” Jean asks with the softest voice. She sniffles a bit before sitting up, but she doesn’t leave my lap.With us finally being at eye level, I can see how red Jean’s nose is, her cheeks are tinted pink as well. She’s beautiful, and I make sure to tell her just that.“Will you stay?” I ask instead, even though I know full well that Jean’s already made up her mind about this long ago.Her eyes soften as she takes me in fully. One of Jean’s hands comes up to cup my cheek, and she smiles ever so softly as she whispers my name.“Dante… I love you,” Jean starts and it’s the saddest I’ve ever heard her utter those words. I know there’s a but coming up. “I never asked for this life, and I—I don’t want any part of it.”Jean finishes talking, shaking her head from side to sid
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 131
DanteThe day I’ve been dreading has finally come. The day that I let her go.I watch Jean silently as she stares out of the wall windows. With the rain softly pattering outside, it reflects my mood perfectly. Jean looks stunning even in sleep shorts and a pullover she stole from my closet. She looks so perfect in my clothes, in my penthouse… and in my life.Suddenly the folder in my hand feels heavier than it should be.I ground myself before approaching Jean, needing to be a hundred percent sure I can handle this conversation. Because once I start, there’s no going back.“Hey,” I whisper in her ear as I wrap my arms around her from behind. Jean leans into my touch, resting her head against my shoulder.“What is it?” she asks, a frown on her face as she turns in my arms to face me. She must have noticed my agitation. “Is everything okay?” Jean reaches forward and cups my cheek.“Yeah,” I reply simply, offering her a reassuring smile—at least I tried to. “Come here for a sec.”“Dante,
Fallen From Grace [Married to the Mafia Novel] Chapter 130
JeanUpon hearing those words, I notice that Dante had made himself scarce. Now that I think about it, he didn’t enter the living room with me and Bianca. He most likely left the penthouse to talk to Noah. How do I know that? Because there is no way in hell that Dante would have allowed Bianca to travel alone right when the investigation for the Regis family is about to start.But there’s something in the air that doesn’t quite feel like home.The woman in front of me may look like my little sister, Bianca, but she’s different. The last time I saw her she still had her baby cheeks and that wanderlust look in her eyes, but now that’s all gone.Her eyes no longer hold wonder in them but wisdom that only hardship and experience can mold. Her features look more angled, more mature.It makes me wonder if I somehow look the same to her or if I’ve changed in her eyes as she has changed in mine.I smile at my sister, albeit a little sad that I missed out on an entire year of her life. My baby
