9. First time

[Diana]

“Looked like a panic attack to me which showered on Mes like a death attack…”

I regained my consciousness to Janus’ voice. He was talking to someone who wasn’t visible to me.

“Here she is,” Janus said, leaning his back against the chair he was sitting on beside my bed. “I told you she wasn’t dead.”

With a moan, I held my head. My whole body was sore, numb at places, and excruciating at others.

“Damn it, was your dead family… preparing for my welcoming party?” My voice came out hoarse. My throat felt like it was burning.

“Quite brave of you to joke after you were almost paralysed,” Janus said.

“Almost dead,” I said, licking my lips that were bruised in the fight.

“You look like minced meat right now, quote-unquote doctor Lyvia — it’ll be better if you do not speak slowly for a few days.”

“W-where is… she?” I asked, trying to tilt my head, but it hurt. Even moving a finger hurt, as if hammers were hitting my body.

“You are not the only one going berserk. It’s quite common during the combat tests,” Janus said.

I let out a feeble sigh and peered at the ceiling. 

“Why are you here? I mean with me?” I asked Janus, and he just stared at me.

“My dead family thought you were going to die, so we came here to collect your soul in case it leaves your body,” Janus said with an impassive voice.

I chuckled, and my stomach hurt.

Dang it!

“Your fight?” I asked.

“It’ll be in the end. I topped the exams, remember?” He said.

Right. The fights were happening in a sequence from the 200th student to 1st. So, Janus’ and Reese’s turn might come tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. 

I wanted to see him fight. Hopefully, I will recover faster.

We were in the private infirmary in the stadium where only the royals were treated.

“It’s suspicious…” Janus said. “The committee decides the opponents based on the skills and marks we have. And you lacked both to a certain extent, Mes shouldn’t be your opponent. Someone weaker than him should have fought you…”

“Is he dead?” I asked.

“No. But quite serious. They rushed him to the hospital. He’s in the ER right now. They might shift him to the ICU soon,” Janus said.

“I failed… didn’t I?” I sighed.

“You’ll get many chances to kill the king. Don’t waste your energy on mere pawns,” Janus said. “After today’s incident, I am sure they are after you… maybe not your life… but you. The question is… why you?”

I licked my lips again. My mouth was completely dry. 

Janus picked up the glass filled with water and a spoon from the table beside my bed. Scooping water in the spoon, he placed the spoon on my lips. I parted my lips and drank the water.

I never thought Janus would be this — considerate. That didn’t fit his cold personality.

“My dead family is forcing me to do this,” he said, glaring into my eyes and I laughed, choking on water.

He almost threw the glass and spoon on the table. He raised my torso, helped me sit on the bed, my back leaning on his firm arm, and patted my back.

Coughing, I said, “I bet… your dead family asked you to do this as well.”

“Shut up,” he grunted.

“Oh, I will. But I think you have a soft spot for patients…” my smile immediately faded when a memory hit me.

Janus lost his mother to a chronic illness. He grew up taking care of her. When he was thirteen, he finally lost her. 

“I am better now. Thanks. Help me lie down. If I sit for a second more, I might break my spine,” I said, trying to ignore the heaviness that fell in the entire room.

Janus helped me lie down gently with a sombre face. 

“You said you miss him…” Janus broke the silence after almost half an hour.

“Him? Whom?” I asked, confused.

“When you were unconscious. You kept mumbling things, and you kept saying that you waited for him for years, you still miss him and that you were happy to see him even if he was an illusion — even if you were scared of him…” Janus looked at me with calculative eyes.

Tears blurred my vision.

“Dreams. Nightmares. Nothing real…” I said, holding back my flooding emotions.

“You also said something else…”

“What?”

“In this life, you will try to hate him because in your previous life you couldn’t… not after everything he did to you and your loved ones… not until your last breath…”

Tears streamed down from the corner of my eyes as I peered into Janus’ eyes.

“Told you… illusions… they have nothing to do with reality…” my voice quavered.

Janus exhaled, leaning against the back of the chair again.

“There is no reality.”

I looked at Janus, confused. “What do you mean?”

“My dead family is a reality for me, but not for others. They don’t see them, they don’t hear them. Meanwhile, your dreams, your nightmares are a dimensional reality for you, but not for me. Because I don’t see or hear them. So, what exactly is the reality? This world? This society? What if you are dead and this world you see is an illusion your mind has created to make you feel as if you are alive?”

My body turned limp when he said those words to me.

Yeah, what if I was actually dead, and this is a dream? A dream that I wished was my reality.

“An illusion so real, it feels like reality, but in truth, no one knows what reality actually is.”

He said and my breath hitched as goosebumps ran through my skin. I gulped, my head hurting more than before. I groaned as the ache intensified more and more.

(((FLASHBACK)))

“No. She will not attend to regular and cheap clients. She is a gem among angels. I have better plans for her,” I heard Bea, the owner of the brothel, talk to some man.

I was attacked by rogues as soon as I crossed the invisibility barriers of the Hidden pack. 

Fortunately, or I should say unfortunately, Bea was nearby and saved me from them.

I was passed out for a month and when I woke up; she talked to me and I told her everything about Reese and Willa and how they planned to kill me. 

She said she’d help me, but I had to pay her back the money she had invested in my treatment. But I had no money, nor did I know of a way that could bring me money. 

So, she asked me if I would like to earn money because perhaps people needed to earn money to survive in the world. I agreed, but I didn’t know this was the job I would do to earn a living or a fortune as quoted by Bea.

I knew what a brothel was and what it meant to work there, but I had nowhere safe to go. I couldn’t go back to my pack because if they found me, they’d kill me.

They would be on the hunt already. 

I desperately needed a place to hide, and that place was the last place they would come looking for me because of the strict rules of our pack. Men and women were prohibited from even glancing at such a sinful place (according to my pack rules).

Bea’s better plan for me was to spark intrigue about me in the upper class of the society. The way she marketed me drew the attention of only the richest people in the society. 

It took another month and a lot of running around for Bea to get me my first client, who had paid the brothel with a blank cheque.

Bea gleefully fluttered into my room and caressed my cheek.

“I always knew this face of yours was the ticket to my dreams. Fearless oceans in one eye…” she looked at my right eyes and then looked at my left eyes. “... and burning embers in the other.” 

My left eye was hazel, while my right eye was completely blue. I had a condition called complete heterochromia. I loved the way my eyes looked. They were unique and so I took pride in them.

Bea lifted my chin and brushed her thumb over my lips, “naturally pink plump lips. They don’t even need lipstick to highlight them. Long and dense eyelashes that could be the dreamcatcher of even the gods. Silky soft skin standing in the perfect shade. Neither too tanned nor too pale — just perfect.”

The staff entered my room with hangers of dresses, jewelleries, heels, perfumes and soaps.

I looked at Bea, my heart restlessly skidding in my chest.

“You remember what I taught you, right? Tonight’s the time for you to implement all that knowledge, hmm? Don’t disappoint me, ok?” Bea said.

“B-but… I have never… done this before… is there no other way?” I asked, frowning, and her smile disappeared from her face.

She took a restricted breath and sat on the bed beside me.

“You have, sweetheart,” she whispered, leaning closer to my neck and slid my hip-length pitch-black hair away from my neck. She inhaled my scent, burying her nose in my neck. “It will feel a thousand times better than what you made yourself feel only if you relax and enjoy it. Hmm?”

While teaching me stuff about foreplay, sex and pleasure, Bea made me touch myself several times, while she instructed and watched me.

Bea signalled the staff to empty my room with her hand. They left and shut the door on us.

Bea was seven years older than me. She was beautiful and powerful. Black almond eyes, tanned lips and skin and her body sculptured with the finest curves and sexiest figure. She was born in the brothel as a result of one night. Since then, she had always been in the brothel, but I knew she was looking for freedom from that place.

She had mentioned it several times, but because of money and family problems, she couldn’t and that is why I was her ticket to freedom.

“You can’t even imagine how much I had controlled myself during our practical lessons. Trust me… Diana…” she unzipped my gown from behind and slid it off my body. Her long nails, painted blood red, gently scraped my skin as she took off my bra and then my laced panty.

I sat naked before her.

Her hand slid from my navel to my breastbone as her eyes grazed every inch of my skin.

“You are the masterpiece of divinity. Your skin, your curves, your scent, everything about you can burn goddesses with envy. Even your voice…” she slid her hand over my breast and looked into my eyes.

She bent and kissed my nipple.

“I am really pathetic when you sit before me like this. All I want to do is preserve you all for myself, but… you are my key to true happiness, Diana. So… tonight… you’ll have to be his…”

I felt pain in her voice, which fell heavily on my chest.

Bea slept with both men and women. But when I asked her about her liking, she answered in a dreamy tone — ‘I search for true love. It doesn’t matter if I get it from a man or a woman. As long as it’s selfless, unconditional and pure… I am ready to fall in love.’

“There’s nothing to fear, hmm?” Bea said with a smile as she kissed my eyelids and then my forehead.  

She smiled, but she wasn’t happy.

I nodded, but I wasn’t assured. I was scared… a lot.

Bea helped me get ready by applying different perfumes on various parts of my body. The fragrances were so subtle and suffused in one another, bringing harmony to my body and mind. My stress had reduced to a certain extent.

I thought she would make me wear revealing clothes, but she covered every inch of my body south to my neck in a high neck, full-sleeved, red gown.

There were several layers of underclothing beneath it. My normal bra and panties. Then upon that was the black blouse and over that was a black corset. Below it were black trousers.

The underclothes were all made of thin skin-tight clothes that made my figure stand out even more when I wore the final red gown.

She applied light make-up on my face and styled the upper half of my hair while leaving the rest to flow frivolously on my back. 

I looked at myself in the mirror and finally understood what Bea meant when she called me a gem among angels. I knew I was beautiful, but that day I felt my beauty.

Bea wasn’t able to stop looking at my face and I couldn’t stop my heart from beating nervously.

It was time for me to enter the VVIP chamber and wait for him.

I gulped and entered the dimly lit chamber. Aphrodisiac candles were lit in the room in aesthetics of black, golden, white, and red. There was a grand circular bed in the middle of the chamber covered by a white canopy around it.

There were two tables in the room. One with exotic, expensive wine bottles and two goblets, and the other was empty.

“He’ll be here soon. Wait for him and… try to relax. Ok?” Bea said and shut the door.

I paced around the room, feeling the anxiety dig a grave in my stomach.

“I can’t do this. What did I get myself into? How did I end up in this condition? I can’t!” I mumbled to myself.

It was then the doorknob turned, and I flinched.

Panicking, I stepped back from the door, peering as the door opened with horror-filled eyes.

That was the first time I saw him with his full-face golden mask with intricate red designs. 

My heart beats and breaths fastened as the room filled with the perfume he used to cover up his scent. Bea told me he didn’t want to disclose his identity, but I didn’t understand why he wanted to hide his identity so badly when I didn’t even know him.

He was wearing a black three-piece suit that fit his chiselled body perfectly. Even though his face was hidden, his charm couldn’t be obscured. Bea told me he was in his late twenties.

I gulped hard when his grey eyes held my gaze for the first time. My heart fluttered at the thought of imagining his body under his clothes. Heat sprawled over my body, especially between my legs.

I was a mess of mixed emotions — anxiety, excitement, fear, lust, hesitation, and haste — all consumed me at once.

He shut the door and stepped closer to me. My heart was pounding in my chest as my breaths turned heavier.

“Dia…” he said in his raspy, velvety voice.

Just a word from his mouth and my body was already under his control already.