CHAPTER 6

"But I think rand was a fool. "He said.

"Why? "

"She accepted social medicare. "

He could throw bones from meats! She thought. "Adulf, what do you think of Damaris? "

"She's an imbecile. "

"I shouldn't understand why you hate her since you by no means condemn her promiscuous nature. "

"I condemn it. "

"I see. What makes you think she doesn't believe she's just being sexually active? "

"She doesn't care if she gets an STD. "he said, and they were both silent.

"These feelings, are they because of her? Or they're just from a week memory that you remember? For most days? "

"For most days. "

"How does that make you feel? I mean, its obvious, but from an empathetic approach? "

"No one. "

"You did not love Ursa, did you? "

"No. "

"Molly? "

"No. "

"I seemed to read rand in school. Doesnt she say sex is supposed to be appreciation of your partners virtues, more than just consensual agreement to rape eachother? "

"I don't give a damn about rands thoughts in that fashion that she reasons it. "

"I see. "She said"Cain, you must care deeply for something. "

"Yes I do. "

"Some values? Your life?"

"Babies. "

"What? Babies?"she frowned"what kind of an empathy? "

"I feel sorry for them. "

"Why? "

"That they'll have to live in this kind of a world we have. "

"What's wrong with the world Cain? "

"Happiness. "

"What? "

"Its too happy"

"What? Did you read rand to be more non commital? "

"No. To be more romantic. "

She rubbed her brows. He looked very small on that sit. the therapist had not expected all the info dump, what she grasped was he didnt mean any of his words in a passionate sense--he just wanted to get at her, but to be that knowing, and for his age.

"Adulf, do this moods improve, or they get worse? "

"Worse. "He said.

"Worse? "

"Everyday. "

"When was the last time you smiled. "

He smiled"a long time. "

"And why did you smile now? "She added when he did not speak"I seem to recall luthor saying our lives begin to end when we are silent of the things that matter. "

"Like a smile? "He smirked.

"Like a smile Cain. Try it again, it doesn't hurt. "

"It does. "

"The world needs your smile. "

He rolled his eyes. "God needs my frown. He should not be pleased with his children. "

She wondered why she thought of a quote that was contradictory with her statement but backed his up. She frowned. Don't care what the world needs, it said. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because the world wants people who come alive. She remembered that it had been Howard thurmans quote. But could everybody be born an original? Here was an original sitting before her, ignorant that he was misled by a thinker whose philosophy did her no good. She wanted to tell him that life wasn't about pursuing happiness... You would end depressed. Happiness was within, and it grew from appreciation of the little and the beautiful, and forgiveness to the mean and the old. Heroes standing on mountain top was all he saw. They tell you you'll reach happiness when you get there, but they, like her, successful careers they had, were not always the happier sorts. She had learnt years ago that happiness was found before reaching the top--it was found in the moments struggle of climbing.

"I think I love animals, mrs moorman. "He said suddenly.

She did not interrupt him. She brought her thoughts back at once.

He continued " theres a whale swimming right now in the ocean. Its called the 52 blue, and it might be the only one of its kind. "

He searched her eyes to see if she understood. She tried to tell him equally with her gaze that she did. "But.. Its alive Cain. "

"No. "He said fighting calm"it'll die soon. We'll die soon. But there's a replacement. The 52 blue won't get any. "

"You're not a whale, Cain. "

"What if I am? "

"You shouldn't be thinking of suicide--"

"I haven't mentioned anything to make you think of suicide. If I'm not a human, I am not 13.8 more likely to die on my birthday. And you know, humans are zebras, they can't sleep unless they're in a group. They'll get scared. They want reassurance.. "

"Being antisocial would do you no good. "

"Why? No, I'm not anti-life, "he looked like jesus on the cross, his head not drooping, but seeming that it should "not when a flying bycicle has become a real phenomenon. Not when we have companies that can turn dead bodies into an ocean reef, and I'm not so much of a coward. If Alfred Hitchcock, a master of horror could be frightened of eggs. Or so stupid, that I'd believe a cat could be a mayor--you know, one cat ruled for 20 years in an alaskan town. Aren't humans really stupid? "

"Knowledge expands over time. "She was sad. She would not need the questioniare. She knew he was really unhappy. "People were smart in the past. Good people, even if it took using spider webs for bandages in the ancient times. From time to time, things get improved or developed better functions. blue 52 will die Cain, but it'll not be forgotten. It'll teach us how to fight for diminishing extinction of other species. Blue 52 will be a good lesson."

"Its sickening we'd have to learn this way. "

"Mistakes are bound to happen. And sometimes they're for the best. Even depression has its evolutionary benefits cain--"

She kept on talking, trying not to lose the keen spark that had appeared in his eyes.

"You'll be resilient, a tougher boy. "She said"but sadness is not an end in its self. "

He was looking out the window, and in the steem darkness was vergil's patriots bridge, but it could be seen even from the kilometers.

No, she thought.

"Ursa would want you to move on. "She said"for her sake. "

"No. "He said"the treason is that I don't love her. Not at all. But she did love me. "

"Love would be better valued when you grow up-. "

He snapped"I thought we were done with that argument. You know, the sunglasses we use now, they we're only designed for Chinese judges so you wouldn't get to see their facial expression in courts but now is for every one? Loves evolved, nun. Damn Plato. He's kind of love is stupid. This evolved love has gotten down to children. You don't need to be scared of a pregnant 8 year old. We've got contraceptives right? "

The therapist thought she would puke.