Chapter Four

I frown thinking and worried about what to do. I wasn't on my normal thinking now, I was shaking dahil sa kaba. I really hit it accidentally. Cross my heart. I never did that on purpose, that was a pure accident. Nakapikit kong ihiniga ang aking ulo sa mesa. Bumuntong hininga ako ng kay lalim. It was like his name was a curse to me. Whenever, I will saw him neither hear his name I will be at the sort of bad luck o di naman kaya'y mapapahiya ako.

The pounding force of my heart coincides with the tik-tak sound of the clock. And I think it is even more louder. It was as if it sounded like a crushed drum that in its high volume I was frightened and disgusted to hear. Bumalik ako sa pagkakaayos ng upo and closed my eyes to calm down. For the five cycles of inhaling and exhaling dumilat ako.

What am I going to do now?

Sinapo ko ang aking noo. Balik na naman ako sa pagiging problemado. My mind is already hurting mentally.

"I-remove mo dali!" natataranta na rin siya. Mabilis pa sa isang minuto ko itong napindot. Ang tanga ko naman sa part at hindi ko naisip iyon. "Ikaw kasi, nagpapadala ka sa tukso,"

She's scolding me now. Parang kasalanan ko pa. I twisted my lips and smirk, kasalanan ko rin naman kung bakit ako nagpauto sa isang 'to. Now I regret stalking him. Yeah I'd saw his succulent body pero kabaliktaran naman nito ang sinapit kong kahihiyan. I rolled my eyes. Siya rin naman kasi ang may pakana ng lahat ng ito, kung hindi niya lang sana ako pinilit hindi sana ito mangyayari. Kahihiyan na naman ito sa 'kin. 

I'm not that desperate to get Sir Eric besides alam ko rin namang hindi niya ako magugustuhan, hindi ako yung tipo niya, but this girl looks like pertaining something that I can't understand. Parang may pinapahiwatig ang mga kinikilos niya.

A variety of 'what ifs' had eaten my mind. With just a blink of my eye another if's will enter. I think my mind was full now pero tumatanggap parin ito.

"Tapos mo na?" she asked again. She didn't even bother to sound sad. Tsk.

"Oo," nakasimangot kong sagot.

What if he is online at such times, What if he will knew this? What if.. what if yes?

"Oh siya, I need to hang up na. Tumatawag si Mam,." she said in a hurry. "Nothing to worry, Bra, na-remove mo naman ang react mo,"

My mouth formed a big 'O' and exhale a large amount of deep breath when her line suddenly went off. I thought that was just a joke? What a good friend of mine, she will leave me like this after what happened. I tsk-ed. 

Ngayon ko lang napansin na pinagpawisan na pala ako sa mukha kahit naman maaliwalas ang paligid rito sa taas. I shaked my both hands and stood up.

I was just hoping and praying that he won't notice it. 

I walked over to the flat bar of the balcony and set up my hands there. I closed my eyes again and felt the cold breeze to reduce the tension I was feeling. I lingered standing in there, enjoying the warmth. Bumalik lang ako sa table ng nanumbalik na ang normal kong nararamdaman. 

After I exit the page, isinarado ko na ang laptop ko at tumungo na sa loob. I'm not in the mood to sleep yet because I'm still too full. I covered my thigh with my white comforter while sitting in Lotus position. I tilted my head on the headboard and turned on my flat screen tv to watch the series I saved on my netflix account. 

It took more than 45 minutes for just one episode and very accurate because I finished at the quarter of Eight. Not bad for me to sleep. Besides sa na-digest narin ang marami kong kinain kanina, I was already feeling lethargic.

I went to the bathroom first to do my night skincare routine. It was getting dim around my room when I turned off the lamp on my side. The warm heat of my comforter haul me to my deep sleep.

It wasn't that good sleep for me that night dahil nagigising ako sa tuwing masasagi sa isipan ko ang aksidenteng na-heart ko ang picture ni Sir Eric. That was posted a year ago kaya pag-iisipan niya talaga ako ng ganun. The image of him keep flashing on my mind.

Sa pang-apat kong gising the upper limb of the sun was slowly appearing. Hindi ko na ipinikit ulit ang mga mata ko dahil for sure, I will be late.

I was sipping on my coffee when Brent appeared on my side. He was done taking a bath too.

"You up too early, Young Sis!" he commented habang pinupunasan ang mga natitirang tubig sa kanyang buhok.

"Uh-huh,"

I should never tell him what happened why I wake up too early. Sa aming dalawa nalang iyon ni Bella. Isa pa, that was an embarrassing moment hindi ko kayang makita ang reaksyon niya kapag nagkataon.

With his question, my heart suddenly beat fast. Papasok pala ako ngayon and there's a big possibility na magkikita kami. He's in to surveying each department pa naman.

"So, How's your school?" pambawi kong tanong dahil nararamdaman ko ng naguguluhan siya sa biglaan kong pagtahimik.

He's currently in his last year taking Civil Engineering at University of San Carlos. And kailangan niya pang mag-barko para makabalik doon. Ewan ko rin sa isang 'to, Sayang ang pamasahe San Carlos to Cebu and vice versa. Pwede naman gumamit ng technology para he will stay keep in touch with us pero mas nanaisin niya daw talagang makita kami in person.

I don't think if it was just his alliby. Baka naman kasi may pinopormahan siyang babae rito kaya gusto niyang maka-uwi.

"Maayos naman," he intonated huskily. Kumuha siya ng tasa at kape tsaka umupo sa upuang nasa harapan ko. "Last day ko na ngayon rito, Babalik na ulit akong Cebu,"

"Mag-iingat ka sa byahe," I said politely. "Pero--"

"Hmm, Bakit?" he look at me innocently.

"May pinopormahan ka ba rito sa atin?" he screw up his face disliking what I asked. His mood changed that fast huh. "Don't get me wrong, napansin ko lang kasi, pwede naman tayong mag-video chat hindi pa iyon sayang sa oras, but why you still choose na umuwi?" 

He lazily rolled his eyes.

"Ang sama mo naman, of all this time yan ang tingin mo sa akin, I efforted a lot of things para lang makita kayo and to make you feel that I will always and forever be at your sides tapos... "

Humagalpak ako ng tawa.

"Ang arte mo, tinatanong lang naman kita kung meron nga ba? Pwede mo namang sagutin ng meron o wala."

"Ay, tsk,"

Bumaba ako at nilapitan siya. I encirlcled my hands on his left arms and smiled.

"Sabihin mo na, Ako lang naman ang makakaalam. Promise I won't tell everyone," he smirked seeing me in this kind of position. Mas lalo ko pang nilawakan ang ngiti ko para himukin siyang sabihin.

He deeply sighed. "Wala,"

Pabagsak kong binitiwan ang kamay niya at bumalik na lamang sa inuupuan. I thought mapapaamin ko na siya. I take the last sip on my coffee and leave him there. Magpapalit na nga lamang ako ng damit.

"Young Sis, Don't be grouch at me," I let an evil smile when he hail my name when I was going to step on the first stairs. I knew it hindi niya talaga ako matitiis.

I turned to him with a smile crept on my lips. 

"So meron nga? Sino? Sasabihin mo na ba?" I asked continuously. I was just excited. My brows raised waiting for his answer.

He laughed hoarsely. Lumapit siya sa kinatatayuan ko pagkatapos hugasan ang tasang nagamit niya. His height tolds that I was little when he stopped meters away from me. Iyinuko niya ang kanyang ulo.

"Saka na, Pagbalik ko ulit rito sasabihin ko na sayo, Pangako!" namumungay ang mata niya habang sinabi.

I twisted my lips outward. Hmm, Sa susunod na buwan pa ulit ang balik niya rito. Maraming oras pa ang lilipas. But I'll trust him, I know he can't break his own promises. Allergic siya sa ganung bagay eh.

"I'll count on that, Brent!" he gave me a smile. Before I continued my steps yumakap ako sa kanya. "I know you always heard me saying this word for a long time but still sasabihin ko pa rin ulit ito sa iyo ngayon. Please keep yourself safe while you're away. Hindi namin makikita ang pinaggagawa mo, at hindi namin gusto na mapahamak ka. I can't afford lossing you, Brent."

"And pagbutihin mong maigi ang pag-aaral mo," pahabol ko.

He hugged and tapped my back. 

"I will!"

I help him heave his things para ilagay sa likod ng sasakyan. Sasabay na raw kasi siya sa akin. Ang plano, siya yung una naming ihahatid sa port at pagkatapos ako naman sa Nascar. He will traveled again unaccompannied, alam ko namang naiintindihan niya kung bakit.

"Mom, hindi kayo sasabay sa amin?" I asked ng makitang hindi pa siya sumasakay gaya ni Dad.

She shook her head. "Sa isang sasakyan na kami ng Daddy mo! Mag-iingat kayo sa byahe. Brent, please inform us kung nakarating ka na doon, Para naman hindi kami mag-alala sa 'yo,"

Brent nodded and saluted.

Hinalikan niya ang mga pisngi namin ni Brent at kumaway sa amin ng magsimula ng paandarin ni Kuya Dante ang sasakyan.

The air inside the car wasn't an irksome when Kuya Dante did the usual, playing music. It wasn't a long ride. And as expected pagkadating namin doon it was still crowded by many passengers. 

"Saan ka sasakay, Sa Lite ba o FastCat?" tanong ko pagkababa namin ng sasakyan. Isa-isang kinuha ni Kuya Dante ang bagahe niya at itinabi ito kung saan kami nakatayo.

Kuya Dante parked the car on the side where the Lite ticketing office located. The FastCat ticketing office wasn't far dahil nasa harapan lamang ito ng naturang kinatatayuan namin.

"Hmm, Sa FastCat nalang siguro para hindi ako masyadong matagalan, Kung mas matagalan kasi mas lalo akong mapapagod,"

I raised my brows and nodded.

"Are you sure you won't wait for bus? Ang alam ko kasi mas madali kapag dito palang ay sakay ka na para hindi ka na mahirapan pang humanap ng masasakyan paglapag mo sa port ng Cebu," 

That's what I've heard from my friends.

"Hindi na kailangan, Young Sis. My friends was already waiting for me naman doon. Isang tawag ko lang na malapit na ako, they're coming right up." he beamed.

He widened his arms para yakapin ko siya. He planted a soft kiss on my forehead before lossening its grip.

"Mag-iingat ka!," saad ko bago ulit sumakay ng sasakyan. Tumango siya at kumaway.

I waved at him when we're getting far from where he stands. Ng iniliko na ni Kuya Dante sa left side ang sasakyan umayos na ako ng upo.

I leaned my head on the headrest and sighed heavily. My heart pounds so fast like I was running with no rest. Naalala ko naman ang katangahang nagawa ko kagabi. 

Napansin ko ang paghina ng takbo ng sasakyan kaya inilibot ko ang paningin sa labas. He was just following speeds in accordance with the posted speed limits. 

I peered my bag carefully ng matanaw ko na ang building ng Nascar. Kuya Dante stopped the car in front of the lobby. I didn't let Kuya Dante open the door for me. I can handled it besides it wasn't that hard thing to do. Nakisabay na ako sa bugso ng mga empleyado na papasok ng Nascar. 

Ng makalagpas ako sa kinatatayuan ng mga guards, someone's calling my name on the back. The voice wasn't familiar in me plus it was a manly voice. I don't think kung nagkamali lang ba ako ng pandinig.

"Bernadette," by the time the owner of the voice going nearer, it became clearer. It articulated my name. Lumingon ako kung saan ang pinanggalingan ng boses na iyon. 

A man in a formal business attire was hailing at me with a wide smile op art on it's face. I didn't recognize him, ngayon ko lamang siya napansin. The man working on here that I knew was only Pio and Eric .

I simpered as a response. Every girls passing by on the lobby giggled. My breathing stopped for a minute when I notice who's on his left side. My heart dubs loudly enabled me to heard it when his dark eyes meets mine.

Walang ka-emo-emosyon ang mga mata niya. Hindi niya tinanggal ang paningin sa akin dahilan kung bakit nakaramdam ako ng pagiging saliwa. Mabilis akong tumalikod at nakayukong pinagpatuloy ang paglalakad.

"You're so pretty as always," he commented. He walked so fast. Nakapamulsa siya ng lingunin ko, made him to look cool. I didn't saw Eric on his side kaya bumuntong hininga ako ng malalim. That was ease.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I beamed. "Thank you-"

Inilahad niya ang kanyang kamay at hinarap ako. "Sler, Call me Sler. And you are Bernadette," he smiled widely while I was still at shocked. I was going to tell my name too when he was already known me.

"How did you know my name?" kakatawa, he knows me while I'm don't know him. Sounds unfair.

"Sino pa ba naman ang hindi makakakilala sa ganda at kabaitan mong taglay," Hindi ko napaghandaan yun. My face heated up. 

Bolero nito. We stopped and wait for the elevator to open. Akmang sasabay na sana ako kay Sler na papasok ng may sumingit sa likuran ko. Napakagat ako sa aking dila, it was Eric. Nauna na siyang pumasok. 

The elavator was already full kanina ng nagbugsukan ang mga tao papasok the time it opens but when he appeared in front of, it suddenly went empty so fast. He stood manly on the center and was looking at Sler with his blood shotted eyes.

"I'll just take the escalator. Nice meeting you, Sler!" mahinhin ko silang tinalikuran pagkatapos kong itong sinabi. Before I could go far I heard Eric's chuckled.

I walked anxiously. Ni hindi ko nagawang lumingon sa kanila. It was just I was ashamed by what I've done on Sir Eric's instagram photo. Kahit na wala naman akong nakitang reaksyon sa mukha niya ng magtama ang mga mata namin, nababalisa pa rin ako.

Good thing Sler was already inside the elevator too, hindi na niya ako masusundan. I let a deep breath, I will be alone now.

Marami-rami rin naman ang gumamit ng escalator but not like those who prefer taking the elevator. 

I still didn't know Sler kaya hindi pa ako masyadong komportableng kasama siya. Hindi naman sa pinag-iisipan ko ng masama ang pagkatao niya, It was just for my safety. The way he talks to me seems fine naman and he was gentle. But trusting him was not really good for now, ngayon ko lang kasi siya nakilala, and it need more time for me to know him more.

"Good morning, Dette!" Rufilyn greeted as I entered the area.

"Morning!" I greeted back. I putted my bag on my side table and sat down. 

"Nasaan sila?" tukoy ko kina Diana at iba pa naming kaibigan. Kakataka lang kasi there seats was unattended. 

I'm just used to see them all present when I entered the area. When they greeted me cheerfully. But Rufilyn took it all back. Her enthusiasm now seems the result of the combined vitality of my friends when they acknowledge my presence. She was so lively and energetic.

"Don't worry they're just having coffee downstairs." she said in feistiness.

"Ang ganda-ganda mo ngayon!" puna ko. Mariin niyang nilingon ako at pinaningkitan ng titig.

I giggled.

"Did you mean, I'm not pretty the past months?" she jutted, putting her lip farther forward than normal stating that she's angry.

Napakamot ako sa aking batok. She misunderstood it. 

"Hindi naman. You have been beautiful in the past few days, weeks and months," I chortled. "But I just can't deny that you have leveled up your beauty now. Uhm Eto nalang, Mas gumanda ka lalo ngayon!"

Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko and laughed quietly when she blushed. She fixed the strands of her hair that fled away on its bun behind her ear. 

They came back in a few minutes. The area filled with their laughter and noise around as they entered. Nanumbalik ulit ang kasiglaan ng Marketing Department. I think my friends are the only one na bumubuhay sa area namin, if they don't work here it is definitely boring.

"Asan si Basic?" I asked. My forehead knit ng makitang tatlo lang silang pumasok. I waited for a minute baka kasi naiwan lang siya pero wala talaga. 

"Absent daw eh!" Diana answered. Hinimas niya ang kanyang tiyan ng makaupo. "Nabusog talaga ako!" 

I purse my lips. I checked my phone baka sakaling may pasabi siyang rason. She was active for almost ten hours na but I still leave a message in case na mag-online siya mababasa niya.

After a minute of chit-chatting balik ulit kami sa pagiging tahimik. Our eyes stunned in each desktop, focusing in our assigned task. 

We stared at each other with strange looked when our Head entered with a smile plastered on her face. 

"Anong nakain niyan?" Rufilyn asked evilly. Iniyuko niya ang kanyang ulo below the barrier para hindi masyadong halata.

"Bakit mo naman natanong?" Michelle whispered.

"Gusto ko lang malaman. I-o-order ko siya araw-araw para hindi na high blood." 

I titter. That was surprising. Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa desktop at ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa. Hindi ko lang talaga maiwasang mapangiti sa sagot ni Rufilyn. 

"Bernadette!" Napatuwid ako ng upo ng tinawag ako ng Miss Christine. All eyes was on me. Natatakot na tiningnan ako nina Rose at Michelle. 

I never remember myself doing something bad. I still managed to stood up fearlessly. As long as wala akong nagawang mali hindi ako matatakot. Hinawakan ni Diana ang palad ko ng dumaan ako sa pwesto niya. Mas malamig pa ang sa kanya kesa sa akin. 

She let go of my arms when I nodded.

"Yes, Miss?" I asked.

"Can you give it to the Operation Department Head?" she handed me the white folded bond paper. Kakatapos lang i-print nito dahil mainit-init pa. 

"Sige po!" Tinanggap ko iyon. I bowed my head before I leave her office. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko, I thought papagalitan niya ako.

Nakahingang maluwag kong tinapik ang balikat ni Diana.

"Just this!" I showed her the paper. "Aalis muna ako saglit,"

Nagmamadali akong lumabas ng area. I still have things to do. Maingat kong hinawakan ang papel para hindi magusot. 

The Operation Department located on the second floor while we're on the forth floor. I was humming my favorite song waiting for the elavator to open.

I looked at my back, there were no people scattered on the lobby. It was really a mute area. Ibinalik ko ang tingin sa harapan ng tumunog na ang elevator.

I quivered. I bowed my head a little ng maglabasan ang lahat ng board of directors. They bid their goodbye's to the man who's on their back. 

"We'll get going now, Mr. Asterio!" anang ng isang naka-blue suit.

I waited him to go out but he stayed standing primly. Yumuko ako bilang paggalang. My heart started to pummel rapidly. I moved backward slowly and shifted my position. Maybe I should just go up the stairs so I can give it there quickly.

Naka-isang hakbang pa lamang ako ng tawagin niya ako sa aking pangalan.

"Bernadette," he said hoarsely. Only now I do perceive that my name sounds good to hear when he's the one articulated.

Napatuwid ako ng tayo. I bit my lower lip before turning. A forced smile plastered on my face when I faced him.

"Yes, Sir?" I made my voice sounds normal and formal. My legs was now trembling.

"Are you avoiding me?" he said raucously in his lower-pitched voice.