2

"Can't you do at least one thing properly?" Sandra spat, taking me out of my revival. I swiftly turned my head in Sandra's direction. "Xavier left without having breakfast," Enmity blazed in her blue iris as she glowered at me.

"Ma'am" Yes. I am supposed to refer to her as ma'am when no one is around. That's how this has been going on for the past seven months.

"I don't know what happened. The alarm didn't-," I trailed off trying to explain the reason behind my irresponsible behavior but I was rudely cut off by Sandra.

"Excuses...That's one thing you have mastered. Stop giving excuses, you are his wife. His wife!" I pinched my brows, feeling contemplated by her insolent behavior towards me.

Most of the time, I try to ignore their taunts but sometimes, despite my efforts, it just gets through me. Some things are easier said than done.

"My son works so hard for you. But you... you can't even feed your husband. A daughter-in-law has responsibilities and you fulfill them like a maid," She threw her hand in the air in frustration. Another wave of mortification panged in my being. I have no right to get upset. Sandra was right, I'm not a good wife.

"And let's not talk about kids" Kids! Sadness loomed, it's a very sensitive topic for me. I don't know why I'm able to convince a child.

In the beginning, when I was married, things weren't this bad. Things were pretty bad from the beginning. I'm not gonna lie and say they weren't. I always had the idea. My in-laws were never fond of me. I was ignored, they acted like I was invisible.

But things went from bad to worse when I couldn't even get pregnant, even after a year of our marriage. They started verbally abusing me, at that point they didn't even care I was listening to them. In fact, I'm pretty much sure they wanted me to hear everything.

It's not that I didn't think or tried to console the doctors, but every time I brought the topic up, Sandra would shut me up. I never understood why she was so against me going for a check-up but there was nothing I could do. I am completely at their mercy.

Moisture springs into the corner of my eyes. I was almost on the verge of a mental breakdown. My hand curled into a fist as I tried to absorb the lump wedged in my throat.

"So? The truth is bitter, right?" Sandra said, noticing the switch in my frame of emotion. "Truth is always bitter," She further added. I really didn't know how to react.

The atmosphere was intensely tense and the room was eerily silent.

"I regret the moment ever since you came into our family, everything has turned topsy-turvy and we've been having nothing but bad luck," Sandra spat her orbs flare-up in exasperation and fury, saying every word laced with venom. It's like the longer she stares at my face the more her anger fuels.

"Mom let's go, why are you wasting your time on these-" Soniya, my sister-in-law, gave a grimace of disgust as her orbs traveled from my head to toe in a swift motion "She is going to listen from one ear and throw it from the other," Contempt and hatred prominent in her despicable tone.

Sandra looked like she wasn't done pouring her anger on me but nodded her head anyway.

"Why are you still standing there like a fool? Go cook something or you're going to keep us hungry too." Soniya growls under her breath.

All she did was nod in agreement before turning around and walking away from them towards the kitchen.

I don't know when all this is going to change. It's been the same ever since I got here, which was two years ago. My husband and my in-laws hate me to their core. The only person who doesn't is my father-in-law. Who blames himself for my misery?

A part of me agrees with him too. If he had handled the situation maturely instead of forcing his son into an unwanted marriage, maybe two lives would have been saved. I don't doubt his intentions were good, but his methods were horrible.

************

I scrutinized the ring on my left index finger. A gloomy smile graced my lips. It's an 18K white gold diamond ring. It's without any doubt the most valuable and costly thing I own. But what is the use? It's meaningless.

Wedding rings represent the unbreakable bond of lifelong love and commitment between two bodies and souls. But it's not in my case though. Every time I see this ring, it constantly reminds me how miserable our marriage is... how miserable my life is.

Xavier has never been afraid to voice his discontent with me. Why wouldn't he? Just look at him and look at me?

Sometimes I wonder why I am still in this marriage, but every time I think about getting out of it. I just can't. I'm scared I'll be left alone. Xavier might despise me, but I have grown to love him.

Yes, I'm totally in love with my husband. I am ready to do whatever it takes to fix my relationship with my husband. I am even ready to swallow any insult and tolerate anything if that's what it takes for my marriage to work.

Am I selfish? Maybe yes, but I'm not going to give up so soon. I cannot let myself down now. I cannot lose hope. It is not an option.

After all, I vowed to hold him from the day we got married, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.

I know what you all must be thinking.. that I have low self-esteem. Yes, I won't deny it, but I wasn't always like this. It all started when Sandra and Soniya started to criticize me for everything I do and every chance they got. First self-doubt crept inside me, which swiftly turned to depression before I knew it.

An exaggerated sigh escapes me. No matter what I do, I only find myself struggling to find happiness. My life is a mess.

My eyes traveled to the clock which was hanging on the wall across from me. The time read one forty-seven am. How I was so lost in my thoughts. I didn't realize the time, but why is Xavier still not here? I frowned, a fidgety, edgy, and unsettled feeling rising up within me. What if he is in trouble?

Relax Hope... It's nothing like that. It's not the first time Xavier has been late. There's no point getting agitated. I tried to relax my tense muscles but to no avail.

It was only when I heard the tramping footsteps of Xavier's shoes that my heart was at ease. My frantic eyes gaze towards the main timber door and my stomach flutters in excitement. I stare at the door, an old mixture of nervousness and eagerness as the constant clomping gets closer and closer.

The doorknob jiggled before the creaking door opened and I walked to my husband. His steps immediately came to a halt as he noticed my form set on the expensive black couch.

We just stared at each other for what felt like a decade when in reality it must have only been a few minutes. There was a strained silence. His impenetrable eyes and inscrutable countenance give little away.

My tongue subconsciously ran on my lower lips, trying to moistorize my lips, which suddenly felt dry. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his gaze following the movement of my tongue and he moistened his own lips with the tip of his tongue.

My heart beats rapidly inside of my chest as his erotic and alluring action. He cleared his throat awkwardly in an attempt to get comfortable as the realization of his action dawned on him.

"You are still awake?" The resonance of his voice made my skin shiver.

"I-I was wai-waiting for you-ou," My tone was barely audible but I know he heard it as he gave me a curt nod.

"I'll heat the food," I uttered, rising from my seat.

"I already ate," Ate?

I thought we could eat together. Disappointment settled in the pit of my stomach but I tried not to let it show.

"Go to your room. I don't need you today," he further added as he realized I wasn't going to answer.

It made me sad that I'm nothing but a need for him. On the other hand, he looked a little discomposed and I detected a faint note of weariness as he spoke. Did something happen?

"Is everything alright?" It slipped out of my lips before I could stop myself.

"Just a little tired," he voiced nonchalantly. I have a hunch that Xavier is telling a lie. But I don't comment, but I've got a feeling that something is absolutely wrong.

Without another word, he began to ascend the stairs. I quickly scurried after him, careful to keep an arm's distance between us. Once we were done climbing the stairs, he headed right and I left. Yes, we stay in different rooms.

I don't know how strange it may sound, but I have never seen his room in these past two years and please don't ask me why.

Once I was inside my room, I grabbed a pair of red pajamas before changing into them. Walking to my bed, I slipped inside the comforter before staring at the ceiling until I fell into a dreamless insensibility.