FROM HERE TO ETERNITY

Though I already saw it coming, it still hurts me… for hundreds and thousands of reasons.

I've seen it before. Every time I stared into his dark eyes, I saw the light. But sometimes light can be so blinding.

If there’s something that I didn’t see coming, it’s this. Standing in front of the judge with him, and my father on the side as our witness— I didn't see this coming.

”I, Gael Zamir Navarro, take you, Elyse Solana Ruiz, to be my wife—”

I once dreamed of an enchanted and magical wedding. But this moment doesn’t seem to level that. I only need the man of my dreams and nothing else.

I married him for a cause, for his wants and selfish reasons. But for me, right at this moment, staring at his eyes while he mutters his vow… I’m the happiest.

“To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer—”

Vows are meant to be holy, it’s a solemn promise. It’s not just swearing, but a lifetime commitment. We are the vows, we are meant to fulfill that promise.

“In sickness, and in health, to love and to cherish—”

Every word felt like a dagger piercing my heart. It was as if a movie was playing in my head, replaying the events of the past. I keep hearing his words, promises I cling to, promises I built only to break.

“Till death… do us part,” I whispered to myself, finishing his words that’s echoing inside my head.

Beads of tears dripped down my cheeks. The dark scene and the cold air are reminiscent of his eyes that spoke to me. Cold, but with warmth embracing. It was dark, but there was light peeping.

“In the presence of God, I make this vow,” I uttered.

Like the previous ones, I never saw this one. I married the only man that made my heart ache like this, the only man who can also make the pain disappear. And just like the fate of promises, sometimes they are meant to be broken.

I watch the peaceful darkness being lit by the tiny lights of the city. Every grain of light coming from the towering structure seemed to be a memory that slowly peeked into my mind.

"I have no regrets," I said. "If I had to go unto it again, I'll gladly go back and do it all over again."

I chuckled with the hint of sadness in me. The situation I'm at is enough proof that I didn't see this one coming. Because if I had seen it before, maybe it wouldn’t be this painful.

“I do, Gael. I did, ” I said in the vast echo of remorse, and sadness.

I know I that I vowed to be his wife, but I’m afraid that vow will remain unfaithful.