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You won’t die on me (175)
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FIRE CRACKER I actually did it (176)
Three days ago I would have imagined myself being responsible for something as horrific as this,I was a lot of things: impulsive, exaggerative, sarcastic, witty, and maybe sometimes rude. But I had never been capable of hitting anyone intentionally. That was until three minutes ago.Whether it was the uncomfortable sirens from the ambulance or the way my insides twisted in knots as she was wheeled away, unmoving and unconscious — I had no clue.All I knew was that there was a part of me that enjoyed this, that savored this moment and was hungry for me and I was a little hesitant to feed it.The sound of a loud collision filled the living room. My neck was snapped to the side and I locked eyes with Mrs. Amber when I looked up. She had the look that Alice always wore. The one that was filled with disappointment and anger.Her anger and frustration were justified. So were the yelling and arguments that we were floating in the living room below me. I was standing at the farthest top of t
FIRE CRACKER Me or Alice? (177)
I knew it had been a while since I locked myself in the room. I had my head ducked in my knees and I was leaning on the door frame I had slid down. I bit my lip to prevent a sob.No, I would not cry, I was not weak. I forced myself to my feet and took slow attentive steps toward the mirror in my room. As a child, I was fond of staring at the mirrors, it turned into a habit though because I always had a new wound or scar each day. One that didn’t leave no matter how much I scrubbed or washed.So instead of running to the bathroom to get the steam off or wash away the dirt that I felt was on me each time, I would carry out the short walk of shame towards the mirror and face the one person whose existence terrified me — Me. I was always scared that I would live long enough to see days like this. These days were the ones I dreaded as a child, days when reality would push me to lose my humanity. The same hands I had used to help Leon was the same one I used to push her down the steps. A
FIRE CRACKER Daddy? (178)
“That is not it at all,” His voice as he spoke. I scoffed, the tone sounded too familiar and shook the foundation of the memories I had bottled up over the years.It faintly reminded me of those times I had asked Alice why she was so distant and why she could never love me, this tone had been soaked and coupled with her emotionless eyes.“You know what?” I asked and walked toward the door, my legs sloppily moved and I clenched my jaw. “I’m sick of this,” I admitted in a strong tone. “I’m sick of this back and for and all of your lies,” I continued. “You are just like Alice you are perfect for each other,” I confessed my face contorted in pain, and my eyes stung. “I hate you, Elliot! I hate you so much!” I cried. “I hate that I waited for you for twenty-three years only for you to choose the woman who ruined my life over me!” I snapped. “I hated that you never did anything — That you never do anything!” I cried.I banged my head on the wall in the room. “And I freaking hate myself for
FIRE CRACKER I can’t do this (179)
"Explain" Was what came out of my mouth next.Alexander had to give me answers. Because one of these made any sense. I knew that he hadn't much luck with women and he was not the kind of man who have a wife and live alone or to even gets married.He was smart and responsible, sure and those were amazing qualities but he was never husband material and most definitely not a family man. So what was he doing here, in my room, with a little girl who had just called him dad with all the emotion in the world?"Well, I—" He began and licked his lip, I started the girl down, She was wearing all the shades of pink in the world and no one could tell me otherwise, she had plump lips and pretty dimples that made me smile but all that affection disappeared when I made direct contact with Alexander.She seemed to notice the tension in the room though because she got closer to him and clung to him tightly, her gaze hardened but she only seemed cute and chubby to me, she was trying so hard to be prote
FIRE CRACKER You and babies? (180)
"Okay?" Alexander whispered and we locked eyes, in that heated moment, his hands snaked to the back of my head and he leaned in, I didn't push him away, not because I was weak or because that moment I felt we had connected as parents of a child I just knew.Rather, the truth was that for the first time in my entire life, I felt I belonged somewhere, that I had something that was mine, that I had 'our' child as he had referred to and it gave me a sense of peace and belonging. The kiss was happening before I even realized but we pulled away almost immediately when a voice broke through."Ewww," Bella said and scrunched up her nose, Alexander chuckled and I quietly laughed. He walked over to her and picked her up, I took a few steps towards them. Bella stared at me with such curiosity that I could almost feel the intensity hit my skin in waves, her eyes tackled me before she glanced at Alex. "We finally see mama?" She asked again, obviously exhausted at this point and I cooed. "Yes, I
FIRE CRACKER You messed up (181)
"C'mon drink up, I promise, it's not poisoned," Rye said when I hesitated, I smiled softly. "I assume that you hate me for hurting Leon?" I asked with a straight face and put the cup of brown coffee down after taking a sip,"Suprised, yes. Hate you? No." She clarified."What are you surprised about?" I pressed on with a furrowed eyebrow and brought the coffee to my lips again.She took a huge gulp of her hot coffee and my eyes widened a bit, "I just thought you were different," She spoke and glanced at me with disappointment in her eyes. I was frozen in my seat.Did people expect anything from me in the first place?"I never thought you expected anything from me," I voiced out my thoughts and she perked up at me. Her green eyes were sharp and bore holes into my skin, it took me a moment to remember that they were harmless and I relaxed."You are a lot more than you give yourself credit for Danielle." She comment and took what I assumed was the last gulp of her coffee, "what some more
FIRE CRACKER Please come back (182)
“I’m sorry,” Lee sobbed and reached out to me but I recoiled. Her loose bun had fallen now and her eyes were filled with tears. I could feel the remorse oozing from her but it was completely useless at this point.The only thing I could think of was the fact that Aiden had been in the same room with my daughter and could have possibly too her away or hurt her. Living in that reality and guilt would be too much to bear.“You are not my family.” I blurted out. “Family does not do this! You knew she was my child! That is why you kept asking!” I snapped. I grabbed her by her bicep and her breath hitched.“Who sent you?!” I demanded and her eyes darted everywhere but mine. “Tell me! Who sent you? Who told you to do it?! And this time, don’t you dare lie to me!” I warned. “Look at me darn it!” I yelled and she flinched. Her eyes rested on mine.She parted her lips to speak but sobs came out, “it-it’s—“ She struggled to speak and I let her go.
FIRE CRACKER Karma is here (183)
The drive to Alexander's house had been pretty long, it was almost noon now and I knew that time was gradually running out. The more I waited, the tighter the knots in my stomach became.The journey finally came to an end when I pulled up in front of his brown cabin. I rushed out of the car and grabbed Bella from the back seat, she seemed to have slept throughout the drive and I was grateful for that because I didn't know one thing about caring for children. After three solid knocks, the door opened to reveal an exhausted Alexender who seemed to lose all his exhaustion at the sight of me. "What happened? You are here? So soon?" He questioned with a raised eyebrow and I passed Bella over to him, she subconsciously curled into him. "I have to go somewhere and I need you to promise to take care of Bella," I asked and glanced from her to him. Alexander's forehead creased and he frowned."What's going on? Where are you going and why do you look so worried?" He asked and I licked my lips
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