EXPRESS YOURSELF

“Well, your wolf is locked,” Luca said, his voice calm but firm, as if he was revealing a truth that she wasn’t yet prepared to accept.

“Whoa…” Catherine gasped, her heart skipping a beat. Her face flushed with surprise as the weight of Luca’s words settled in. This wasn’t what she had expected to hear. Not today, not ever.

She blinked, trying to clear her thoughts, but the panic bubbling inside her only grew stronger. “How do you know that?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly, betraying the anxiety that was creeping up on her.

Luca didn’t answer right away. Instead, he stared at her, a small, almost cryptic smile playing at the corners of his lips. “You really have a lot to learn,” he said, his tone soft yet tinged with something else—mystery, perhaps. “By the way, I won’t tell you how I know. Not yet. But you need to understand something important.”

Catherine’s breath caught in her throat as she listened, her heart pounding harder with each word.

“When you see your wolf,” Luca continued, his eyes locking with hers, “you must communicate with it. The communication process allows the wolf to take charge of the human body over time, enabling you to shift.”

“Shift?” Catherine repeated, her brow furrowing. She had heard about shifting, but it had always been something distant—a future she wasn’t sure she’d ever reach.

“Yes. If you can’t communicate with your wolf, then something’s wrong,” Luca explained, his tone growing more serious now. “It’s either that your wolf is slowly dying… or it’s locked.”

Catherine felt her chest tighten. She wasn’t sure why, but hearing those words—*slowly dying*—filled her with a cold dread. Her mind raced, grasping for clarity, but instead, it was flooded with confusion and fear. “So, how do you know my wolf is locked and not slowly dying?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady, but the tremor in it betrayed her.

Luca raised an eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by her panic. “Calm down,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t panic. Your wolf is perfectly safe. It’s not dying—it’s just locked.”

“But… how do you know?” she asked again, this time more urgently. She didn’t need vague reassurances; she needed answers.

“That’s because if your wolf was dying,” Luca replied, his voice lowering, “you wouldn’t even be able to see it in the first place.”

Catherine gasped, her heart sinking at the realization. “So… why is my wolf locked?” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “And is there a way I can free it?”

Luca sighed softly, leaning back. “Wolves get locked when the human has been through a lot—when they’ve experienced deep pain, intense fear… or both.”

Catherine’s breath hitched. The words hung in the air like a heavy cloud. *Deep pain… intense fear.* It was as if he was describing her, and she hated it.

“And all of that kinda describes you, doesn’t it?” Luca added, his voice softer now, almost gentle.

“What?” she snapped, her defenses immediately rising. “Not all! I’m not afraid of anything!” The denial came out sharper than she intended, but she couldn’t help it. The idea that she, of all people, could be consumed by fear felt like a betrayal of who she thought she was.

Luca chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Really? You’re not afraid of anything? Because if I may remind you, I saw how you froze when the Jagusr attacked.”

Catherine’s face flushed with embarrassment, and she quickly looked away. “That was…” she stammered, trying to think of an excuse. “That was just a normal response from a girl who can’t defend herself.”

“Okay, okay, I understand,” Luca said, holding up his hands in surrender. “But that’s not the point, Catherine. The point is, you’ve been holding onto all this pain and fear. If you want to free your wolf, you have to let it all go.”

Catherine clenched her fists, feeling frustration welling up inside her. “And how am I supposed to do that?” she demanded, her voice growing sharper. “How do I just forget everything?”

By now, the sun had shifted high in the sky, casting long shadows across the ground. It was almost noon, and the weight of the moment felt even heavier under the oppressive heat.

“Sit down,” Luca commanded softly, gesturing to the ground.

Reluctantly, Catherine sat down, her mind racing with everything he had just said. Once she was settled, Luca joined her, sitting close enough for her to feel his presence, but not too close to invade her space.

“Now, Catherine,” Luca began, his voice low and soothing. “I want you to tell me everything you fear. Everything that has ever caused you pain.”

Catherine swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest. “Look,” she said, her voice quieter now, “if it’s pain… I think I’m way ahead of you. I’ve felt pain my whole life, and I’ve always suppressed it. Now, I don’t really feel anything anymore.”

“And that,” Luca said, his tone dropping, “is exactly why your wolf is locked.”

“What?” Catherine’s eyes widened in shock.

“Yeah,” Luca continued, his gaze never leaving hers. “You’ve been suppressing your pain instead of letting it out. That’s one of the reasons your wolf is trapped. You need to let it out, Catherine. You need to face it.”

She sighed deeply, the weight of his words pressing down on her. “And how am I supposed to do that?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper now.

“Start by telling me,” Luca said gently. “Tell me everything that has ever caused you deep pain.”

“There are things I don’t want to remember,” she whispered, her eyes downcast.

“That’s the first step to unlocking your wolf,” Luca said softly. “You told me you’d do anything. I believe in you. You can do this, Catherine.”

She stared at him, her eyes searching his face for any sign of insincerity. But all she saw was a quiet strength, a belief in her that she hadn’t even found in herself yet. Finally, she nodded.

“When I was small,” she began, her voice shaky, “I lost my mom. She was murdered.”

Luca’s face softened, and he nodded, letting her continue.

“I saw the murderer… but I was too weak to do anything. He slapped me, and I fell unconscious. My dad wasn’t home, so the murderer got away. When I woke up, my mom was lying on the floor… dead. Blood everywhere.” Tears rolled down her cheeks as the memory resurfaced, raw and painful.

Luca reached out, gently wiping a tear from her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Catherine,” he said softly, his voice full of empathy. “I can’t imagine how much that must hurt.”

Catherine nodded, wiping her eyes. “It does… it hurts every day. But it’s in the past now,” she said, trying to sound strong.

“And what else?” Luca pressed gently. “What else has caused you pain?”

“My dad… he died of a heart attack,” Catherine whispered. “And you already know the rest.”

Luca nodded, his face solemn. “Congratulations, Catherine,” he said after a long pause. “You’ve passed the test.”

“How?” she asked, confused.

“You’ve grieved,” he said simply. “And now… it’s time to see your wolf.”

Catherine took a deep breath, her heart pounding as she closed her eyes. Something deep inside her stirred, something she hadn’t felt in a long time.

And then, something unexpected happened...