Confusion flooded me. I was sure I’d never felt this way, but starting out pretending had muddied everything up. “But once we stopped faking it, it was hard to trust what was real,” I blurted, not realizing my mistake until Mom’s face had blanched.“Faked what?” She sat up straight, her I’m-not-mad-I’m-just- disappointed face in place already.“No, nothing.”“Faked what, Lincoln?” She still had the power to freak me out. Did moms always retain that power? “You and Hannah faked what?”A noise escaped my throat that was halfway between a throat-clearing and a cry of desperation, and I was reminded of the time when Mom had learned about how I’d taken the salamander out of the tank in fifth grade and planted it in the desk of a girl who’d made fun of my little brothers at the bus stop. Only this time, I was pretty sure she wouldn’t be proud.“You and Hannah faked being together?” Mom was smart, she was working it out without me even saying anything.“Only at first,” I tried.“Why?” she as
Everything felt wrong. Wrong hair color, wrong height, wrong vehicle. Liam, with his expensive cologne shoved up my nose from three feet away, even smelled wrong. But I’d told Lincoln to go and now I was stuck with Liam in my Aunt Betty’s house, looking around in disgust.“You’re living here now?” He said it like I was living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere.I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the state of the house, but it wasn’t horrible either. Lincoln had been helping me fix it up. With an injection of cash, I could even make this place charming again. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against the Formica counter hoping it would hold my weight.“Yes. I live here. My beloved aunt left it to me.” Okay, that was stretching it since I hadn’t even met her, but the woman had left me all her worldly possessions. What was that if not love? “Why are you really here, Liam?”He dragged his gaze from the green refrigerator that kept up a constant knocking sound with a little
Tall, Dark & My Boyfriend: Just checking in. Everything okay? Text me if you need help. I can be there in minutes.I wanted to cry reading Lincoln’s message. How was he so sweet? He hadn’t looked at Aunt Betty’s house with disdain. He’d just brought his tools over and helped me fix it. The contrast between him and Liam was so stark, I couldn’t seem to find the words to write back to Lincoln. I guessed Lincoln and I were more alike than I’d originally thought. How did I explain to him why I’d been so naïve? So dumb?So I did what every girl did in times of turmoil. I tuned out real life, headed to the freezer, and found a pint of rocky road ice cream to soothe the hurt. I also found a bottle of vodka in the back I hadn’t put there. If there was ever a time for a drink, it was when your ex showed up and tried to stir the pot of your new life. I poured a shot in a glass and raised it to the ceiling.“Cheers, Aunt Betty.” Then I slammed it back.Voices on the front porch woke me the next
I hadn’t heard from Hannah in twenty-four hours. I’d sent her four texts and had finally called her late before I’d gone to bed, but the call had gone straight to voicemail.I laid in bed that night, my mind working its way slowly through all the various reasons why Hannah had gone silent, and then throwing up evidence to support the idea that I hadn’t gotten it all wrong all over again. Even my mother thought there was something real between us.Had the muppet appeared in his nice truck with his shiny hair and swept her off her feet so easily? Was everything we’d said to one another nothing more than words, easily spoken, easily forgotten? Had I somehow misinterpreted Hannah’s words or actions?When daylight began to stretch across the sky, I was already up, sitting on the tiny balcony facing the parking lot outside my building, a cup of coffee in my hand and my mind dark. It was times like this when I really didn’t enjoy being myself. When my own mind felt alien to me, like it was w
“You learn,” he said simply. “Let your tongue to decide. The grapes are ready? Or no, they need more sun.” Jacques had a habit of omitting certain words when he spoke in English, though I’d heard him speak fluently when talking to other winemakers at a meeting we attended recently. When he was flustered, words dropped.“I know how to read the refractometer,” I told him, hoping we could just fall back on the science of numbers. Those, at least, were clear.“That is half,” he said, huffing out a breath. “Maybe less than half. Wine . . . it is art. It is shadows of certainty. The winemaker, he is decisive and smart. He—or she—must trust the heart, the mind, the mouth. You decide.” He poked me in the chest, hard.I stepped back and pulled a grape from another bunch, closing my eyes and letting the juice burst on my tongue. I knew I was supposed to be measuring the sugar content to determine whether these grapes were ready to harvest or not, but I didn’t have a lot of experience trusting m
Tall, Dark & My Boyfriend: Goodbye, Hannah. I really do wish the best for you.That’s it?Goodbye, good luck, and thanks for everything?So he and his mom wanted me gone. Well, that solved that mystery.The brownie chocolate chunk ice cream turned to dust in my mouth reading the latest text from Lincoln. I had a shift at Paint It, Pal starting in an hour, but for the first time since I started, I planned to call in sick. But first, I needed to change Lincoln’s contact name in my phone. Maybe that would help me accept that Lincoln had broken up with me via text in the vaguest way possible. I mean, I knew he communicated better via text than in person, but I firmly believed some things should be said face to face.My phone rang, startling me as I hit save on Lincoln’s new name: Tall, Dark, & Silent Heartbreaker. It was my boss, Barb, the old lady who ownedthe paint store and who I hadn’t talked to since the first day she hired me. “Hello?”“Hannah? Is that you?” Barbara said loudly in
Barb’s face fell and I rushed to finish that thought.“It’s the loveliest offer I’ve ever received, but I think I should at least consider it before agreeing to anything.”Barb’s smile came back. “See? You’re a natural businesswoman! You’ll do great! Think on it all you need, but let me know soon. I have a cruise I want to book and I’d like to know the shop is in your hands before I leave.”Barb patted my hand a few more times and then left, leaving me in a stupor at the little café table. People hustled around me, off to work or running errands. I stared at them all, making a list of pros and cons in my head. Should I stay and start my dream job in a town where I’d see the man who broke my heart? Or should I leave it all behind and start fresh somewhere new? No matter how long each side of the list became, I couldn’t seem to make a decision.“Han?” Liam’s voice came from behind me.Oh, for heaven’s sake. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I was invisible. Why did that man have to keep
“Lincoln, slow down please. This isn’t the Solano Creek Grand Prix.” Mom’s voice carried all the annoyance and irritation she’d had for me all day, and I knew that I should have cancelled our post-birthday lunch plans, given my crappy mood.We’d been arguing through most of the meal, Mom trying to get me to talk about Hannah, about feelings, about life—and me trying to forget seeing the clear evidence of Hannah moving on without a second thought.I knew my life experience had been limited. I knew I wasn’t the most emotionally savvy of guys. But it still hurt to have the evidence of my own shortcomings thrust painfully in my face, and the last thing I wanted to do was chat about it with my mother—or with El’s mom, who had mysteriously joined us for lunch, though I sure didn’t remember inviting her.And I thought lunch had been bad, but at least I’d survived the prying questions and then the irritable silent treatment Mom had given me as we’d finished up. Robin, who had never even heard