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Only For The Time Being

Author: Diti Koshy
last update Last Updated: 2023-11-04 19:30:50

[AVA]

“Don’t you think we’re moving too fast?” I deadpanned, giving a slight eye roll as Sean rushed to open the car door for me.

It was only yesterday when I saved his ass from his asshole friends, secretly hoping we wouldn't run into each other anytime soon. We made a deal to keep each other's secrets, a win-win situation. But now, the first thing I see from my tiny room's window is his flashy car pulling up near my awful apartment.

I had no clue what he was up to or trying to prove, but I hurried downstairs as fast as I could before my parents or nosy neighbors caught sight of him. I needed to find out what the heck was going on. I was still in my pajamas, wearing a too-small t-shirt that barely contained my assets. But I couldn't care less because Sean showing up at the wrong time in the wrong place put my entire future at risk.

If our family business hadn't gone bankrupt and we were still living in our fancy fourteen-bedroom mansion, things would be so different. Nobody cared about my life or who I dated back then. But everything changed when my dad's enterprise failed. Now, my dad was chasing some kind of miracle to save us, while my mom was eager to sell me off. She'd lose it if Sean's last name got anywhere near her. It felt like they might as well force me to marry this guy, consequences be damned. There were two big reasons why we couldn't be together, and his being gay was just the beginning.

"I couldn't sleep all night," he grumbled, swiftly closing the door as I climbed inside. He joined me in the car, taking the driver's seat and starting the engine.

"Why, was I that good?" I quipped, intending it as a joke. But instead of taking it in the light-hearted manner it was meant, he looked puzzled.

Great, the one person from my past who can't appreciate a good sense of humor. Just what my average life needed.

Once we hit the highway, I finally allowed myself to relax.

Sean seemed to notice and appeared somewhat embarrassed. "Hey, I'm sorry for startling you like that. I didn't mean to cause any trouble."

Well, the worst was already over, so there was no need to give him a hard time about the mini heart attack he put me through. "I'm just glad no one saw us together," I sighed.

However, that didn't mean I wasn't annoyed by the urgency. I gave him a stern look.

"What was so urgent that you couldn't even wait for me to reach the college?" It would have been much safer there. None of my classmates knew about my past, the person I used to be before our lives changed forever. To them, I was just a new transfer student, trying to figure out how to fit in and convincingly navigate my new life path.

Sean was taken aback by my tone. "Hey, didn't I already apologize? And to answer your question, it's related to...what happened the previous night."

My eyebrows furrowed. "I thought we agreed never to bring it up again."

"Right," he said, nervously biting his lip. "About that."

"Don't tell me you've already spilled the beans. Who did you tell?" Please, not Coraline. Anyone but Coraline. If his sister found out my secret, she would make a spectacle of it on every social media platform. She would enjoy having a chance to humiliate me.

God, I was screwed.

“I kept it a secret.” He sounded defensive, as if I had jumped the gun and it was all in my head. “What do you even think of me? I’m gay. Not an asshole.”

Okay, maybe I overreacted. Was it my turn to apologize now?

"But I want to," he continued sheepishly, and the apology on the tip of my tongue turned to dust.

"What?" I couldn't have sounded more shocked.

"Listen, before you make any hasty judgments, let me explain. How about we grab some coffee?" He raised an eyebrow, trying to focus on the road while also pleading with me. "I'll clarify everything. Just give me a chance."

I sighed, my chest heavy with uncertainty. I didn't know where this was all heading. Part of me was tempted to escape his car and never see his face again. Yet there was something about the way he looked so crestfallen and panicked outside my building that made me believe there was more to the story than he had revealed.

Perhaps there was a valid reason.

I decided to approach the situation with an open mind before reaching a final verdict on the impending mess he was about to reveal.

One thing was clear: I would be the one to determine if his explanation was sufficient.

When we arrived at the cafe, Sean ordered a mocha for me and a medium cappuccino for himself. Since my last meal was a poorly cooked batch of noodles prepared by my mom, who hadn't set foot in the kitchen during our days of wealth and abundant servants, Sean didn't hesitate to buy a substantial sandwich that I only half-intended to share.

I thanked him for it. He said it wasn’t a big deal.

"Alright, let's hear it," I said, genuinely curious about the trouble he had gotten himself into this time. Yesterday, his obnoxious friends were his main concern. I wondered who had managed to upset him now.

Letting out a noisy exhale through his soft lips, Sean leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Ava... we've known each other for a long time. You and Cora were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. Remember when we invited you over for a..."

"Sean," I interrupted, feeling puzzled. "Can you give me the shorter version? I don't have all day." I still had classes to attend and grocery shopping to do, which my brother conveniently ignored since he was too wrapped up in his non-existent football practice.

"Shorter version, right. Saves time. I understand," he replied, acknowledging my request.

"Sean!"

"I believe I have a solution to both our problems," he blurted out, and it took me a moment to grasp which problem he was referring to.

Before I could even speak, Sean cut me off.

"Ava, you need a way to pay for college, right? That's something I can help you with. You don't have to..." He struggled to describe my secret job as an escort before giving up and waving his hand as if to say, "you know what I mean. You don't have to spend every night out anymore. If you agree to let me help you, you can use that time to study or do whatever you want."

"Okay, but why would you do that? What's in it for you?" I couldn't help but notice how he seemed to be sweating more than necessary, indicating that his motives weren't purely altruistic, despite his competence.

Before Sean could respond, a baby's cry filled the café, capturing everyone's attention. The mother seemed too preoccupied to fully understand what her child needed. I tried not to let it bother me, but with each cry, my heart squeezed tighter, and my stomach twisted in knots.

Sensing my mood shift, Sean reached out and gently squeezed my hand, jolting me back to the present.

"Ava, are you alright?"

The baby's cries had subsided, and I pulled my hand away, running it through my tangled hair instead. "Yeah, I'm fine. Please continue."

Sean locked eyes with me for a long, quiet moment. He swallowed and adjusted his glasses. "I haven't had a girlfriend since I broke up with Sophia three years ago. It was during that time that I realized..."

"That you were attracted to men," I finished his sentence, and he nodded.

"It's not like I didn't know. I just... I didn't want to admit it, you know? My dad is so traditional, straight as can be. I can't even imagine how he would react if he found out..."

"But you'll have to tell him eventually," I murmured, feeling a tug in my chest, acutely aware of the hypocrisy in my words. "You can't live with a lie forever."

"I know. That's where I need your help."

“You want me to talk to your father?” I blurted out, choking in the process. Was he crazy or what?

Sean handed me a glass of water. "No, silly. All I want is for you to be my girlfriend."

The water went down the wrong way and I coughed weakly.

"Just temporarily."

"Are you crazy?" I whispered, dabbing at myself with the paper towel he gave me.

"Maybe. But you don't understand how much pressure I'm under," he said, offering me more napkins. "My parents' anniversary is next week. If I don't show up with a girl by my side, they won't let me hear the end of it."

I wanted to object, but he held my hands and pleaded. "Please, Ava. Help me out this one time and I'll owe you big. Please. Just think about it. It's not such a bad deal, right? Think about all the time you'll have to pursue your own dreams, the ones you actually want to pursue, instead of doing... things you'd rather not do if you had better opportunities, isn't that true?"

"This is risky, Sean. My family... you have no idea what you're asking for."

"I know. But I don't know who else to trust, and you're the only one who knows."

I shook my head. “I should’ve known this was going to bite me in the ass.”

“Ava…”

“Fine,” I said and watched as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. I took a deep breath and tried to clear my head. "But just so you know, there'll be an additional f*e every time I have to endure your insufferable sister."

If Sean found my condition amusing, he certainly didn't let on.

* * *

Later that evening, Sean dropped me home. I didn’t expect another luxurious car parked right outside our building. Yet, there it was. A shiny black car lined up under the streetlight, looking more out of place than a limping horse in a race.

I only thought about it briefly when Tina, a fourteen-year-old girl who lived right across from our apartment, stepped outside with her tiny Beagle tottering after her.

With a smile, I waved to her, and she waved back.

When the elevator dropped me to my floor, I heard the voices emanating from inside long before I even reached for the knob.

Though air literally knocked out of my chest when the first face came into view the second I pushed open the door, was one that I least expected.

What on earth was he doing here?

Before I could process it any further, my mom's eyes locked onto me, and she practically dragged me over to greet Brian Reinhold, who was seated next to my dad on our old, creaking couch that could barely accommodate two people at a time.

Thankfully, he was the only one who occupied that couch. Can you imagine the embarrassment if this gorgeous man ended up falling through it?

I used to think I had grown accustomed to our poverty, to the scent of damp walls and shattered dreams that still lingered in our apartment. But maybe I never truly did. Not when he was there, under the same roof, a constant reminder of everything we once had, everything we had lost.

"So, your dad mentioned you're looking for a job?" Brian spoke, his voice as deep and captivating as I remembered. Goosebumps prickled along my bare arms.

My heart raced too quickly for me to form a coherent response. I breathed a sigh of relief when my dad spoke up instead. "She's too proud to ask for help," he informed Brian, his smile genuine and grateful, intensifying my feelings of self-doubt.

"I understand," Brian replied calmly, his voice barely above a whisper. I heard every word clearly, as if my senses had been inexplicably heightened.

I felt his gaze trail over me, igniting a fierce heat that surged up my neck. It was as if his fingers were tracing a tantalizing, forbidden path down my spine.

I crossed my legs, feeling an unusual warmth and unease in all the places that were meant to remain forbidden.

"How about you join my company as a fresh graduate, Ava?" he proposed, directing the question at me, but it was my mom who couldn't contain her excitement.

"Are you serious?"

Brian simply smiled, ever the gentleman. "Absolutely," he replied, before turning his gaze back to me. "It's not a permanent arrangement, though. Think of it as a six-month program. Ample time for you to showcase your skills and prove yourself. If you excel, they may hire you as a regular employee. And if not, well, it's just six months. What's the worst that could happen?"

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