Chapter 9

I couldn’t stop shaking.

I tried. God, I tried.

Curled in on myself, pressed my face into the pillow so hard I couldn’t breathe, dug my fingers into the sheets like I could hold myself together.

But it didn’t matter.

The sobs still came. Loud. Broken. Ugly. My chest felt like it was caving in, my throat was raw, my whole body locked up like it wasn’t even mine anymore.

I should’ve left.

I should’ve fucking left.

I should’ve walked away before this moment could brand itself into my skin, before it could claw its way into my bones. Before it could rot inside me like something sick and twisted and permanent.

But I didn’t.

And now?

Now I was here.

Falling apart over something I could never, ever change.

God, I was so stupid. So fucking stupid.

If Mom were still here, she wouldn’t have let this happen.

She wouldn’t have let him do this to me.

She would’ve fought for me. She would’ve looked my father in the eye and dared him to say that my mate—**my mate—**belonged to someone else.

But she wasn’t here.

She was gone.

And instead, I had him.

And her.

The door slammed open, rattling the walls, shaking the floor.

Of course.

Of fucking course.

I barely had time to wipe my face, barely had time to swallow down the wreckage of my sobs before I heard her.

"Aww."

That voice.

Syrupy. Mocking. Drawn out like she was savoring it.

My stomach twisted.

I didn’t move.

Didn’t speak.

Didn’t breathe.

Just curled in tighter.

"You’re actually crying?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. My breath hitched.

Don’t react. Don’t react. Don’t react.

But she laughed.

Really laughed.

Not a chuckle. Not a scoff. A full, delighted, sharp-edged, cruel fucking laugh.

Like this was funny.

Like my pain was funny.

"Oh my God, you are," she giggled, stepping inside like she belonged here. Like she didn’t just walk in to watch me fall apart. "You’re actually crying over this."

I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek. Hard.

Focus on that. Not her. Not this.

She sighed, shaking her head, fake sympathy dripping from her voice.

"God, Ellie. How much lower can you sink?"

I wanted to say something.

I wanted to do something.

But I couldn’t move.

"You really thought you had a chance, huh?" she went on, her voice almost soft now. Almost gentle.

Like she actually felt bad for me.

Like she wasn’t fucking ripping me apart.

"You? With Ryan?" A little tsk, head tilted, pity in her eyes. Fake. Fake. FAKE.

"That was never going to happen."

I felt sick.

And still, she kept going.

"Anyway," she said, voice all fake lightness, fake sweetness, like she wasn’t killing me. "Ryan asked for you."

My heart stopped.

My stomach dropped.

Crystal’s smirk widened, slow and satisfied.

"Yeah. He wants everyone there to wave goodbye." She sighed, all mock sympathy. "You know, for his and my big send-off."

The air was too thick. I couldn’t breathe.

She took a slow step forward, voice dropping into a whisper.

"So," she murmured, "are you coming?"

“Yes.” I whispered. 

“Hurry up. I'd prefer if you had said no.” Crystal finished and dashed out of my room. 

I exhaled slowly before walking out of my room. 

I shouldn’t have gone.

I shouldn’t have gone.

But I did.

And now I was here.

Standing in the middle of a celebration that felt like a graveyard.

My graveyard.

Laughter. Cheers. Smiling faces. All of them. Happy. Excited.

Like this wasn’t wrong.

Like this wasn’t breaking me.

The air was thick and too warm. My skin felt tight. My chest felt like it was being crushed.

Ryan stood tall, shoulders squared, blank-faced as he turned to my father.

Then—

He spoke.

"I want to thank you," he said, voice calm, steady, like this wasn’t fucking killing me.

"For the invitation. For the welcome. And, most of all—"

I knew.

I knew.

But when he turned to her, when he looked at Crystal like that—like she was his, my whole body locked up.

"For giving me your stepdaughter."

The world cracked open.

The pack cheered.

Loud. Deafening.

They were celebrating.

Like this was right.

Like this was something beautiful.

Like my soul wasn’t being ripped apart.

I dug my nails into my arms, breath coming too fast, too sharp, the world spinning, cracking, breaking—

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

But I felt small.

Weak.

And maybe I was.

Because no matter how much I wanted to run, to shift, to disappear forever, I couldn’t.

Because I couldn’t shift.

Never had.

While everyone else had felt their wolves awaken, had embraced their true nature, I had stayed the same.

Powerless. Stuck. Defective.

I told myself it didn’t matter.

I told myself it didn’t define me.

But right now?

Right now, I hated it.

Hated that I couldn’t run.

Hated that I couldn’t let my wolf take over, couldn’t just vanish into the trees, disappear into the night, escape this fucking nightmare.

Hated that I couldn’t do anything but stand here and take it.

Crystal’s laughter rang through the air, sharp and victorious.

Ryan still wasn’t looking at me.

He wasn’t looking at me at all.

And that—

That was what shattered me the most.

But I stayed and watched. 

I couldn't do anything except stand there and let the world cave in around me.

But his next words left him dumbstruck. 

"I will be taking Ellie with me."

I felt the words before I even processed them. Felt them slam into my chest, sharp and merciless, tearing right through the barely-healed wounds that had already been left gaping open tonight.

The entire pack went still.

Everything went still.

Except for my heartbeat.

That was still pounding.

Too loud. Too fast. Too wrong.

Someone gasped. Someone stiffened. I didn’t know who. I didn’t care.

Because I—

I was stuck.

Frozen in that moment.

Frozen in the sound of Ryan’s voice as he stood there, calm, collected, like he wasn’t ripping my entire world apart with one sentence.

"What?"

I didn’t even know who said it.

Maybe my father. Maybe Crystal. Maybe some poor, clueless soul in the crowd who couldn’t believe what they’d just heard.

Because this—this wasn’t just unexpected.

It was insane.

Ryan was taking me?

Taking me where?

"This is a decision I have thought about thoroughly."

His voice was so even. So steady. So perfectly detached.

Like this wasn’t a bomb he had just dropped.

Like this wasn’t the most insane, horrifying, gut-wrenching thing he could’ve possibly said.

"Ellie needs guidance."

My stomach lurched.

"She needs discipline. She needs to learn the expectations of a proper pack member."

Proper.

Proper.

The word clawed at me.

Like I was some wild, untamed thing.

Like I was something to be fixed.

He still wasn’t looking at me.

Not once.

Not even when my breath turned shallow and my fingers curled into fists at my sides.

Not even when the weight of his words sank into my bones, crushing me from the inside out.

My father stepped forward. His voice was tight.

"Ryan, be reasonable."

Reasonable.

Like this was just some minor inconvenience.

Like this was just a little too much.

"Ellie is not—" A pause. A sharp inhale. "She has never lived outside this pack. It would be... unnecessary to uproot her."

Unnecessary.

Not cruel. Not insane.

Unnecessary.

I felt sick.

Crystal was next.

Her voice was clipped, fake-sweet, just on the edge of losing it.

"You’re taking me, Ryan."

She stepped closer to him, fingers twitching like she wanted to grab onto him. Hold him here. Keep him from making this real.

"Not her. There's no need for her to—"

"My decision is final."

Ryan cut her off like she was nothing.

And then, finally—

Finally—

He looked at me.

For the first time all night.

And something inside me collapsed.

I don’t know what I was expecting.

Anger? Regret? Some hint that he knew what he was doing? That this wasn’t just some calculated, emotionless decision?

But there was nothing.

Nothing except a stare that pinned me in place.

Something dark. Something cold. Something I couldn’t understand.

And I?

I was done.

I was done fighting.

Because what was the point?

—

I didn’t remember walking.

Didn’t remember moving.

One second, I was standing there, and the next, I was being led away.

Two warriors flanking me like I was some prisoner.

A horse waiting at the gates.

My father watching, stiff and unreadable.

Crystal watching, eyes wide, furious.

And me?

I was gone.

Drifting.

Somewhere outside my own body, staring at the girl being dragged toward an unknown future.

A girl who had lost everything.

A girl who wasn’t even fighting it anymore.

I was leaving.

Not because I wanted to.

Not because I chose to.

Because Ryan said so.

Because I was nothing.

Because I never had a choice.

And as I climbed onto that horse, my hands gripping the reins with fingers that wouldn’t stop shaking—

I knew.

Whatever was waiting for me in his pack...

It was going to be worse.