SIDAPA EVENING came. I finished just in time. A few died today, but most of them ended in the afterlife. “Did I make it?!” I almost fell off my tree when Libulan popped out of nowhere, haggard and a little disoriented. “Libulan? What happened to you?” I asked in awe, and came down by jumping directly to the ground. It created a loud thud, and small animals nearby ran in fear and hid somewhere safe when they saw me. [Even animals can sense the danger in me. So why can’t Libulan?] I wondered as I looked at the clueless Moon Deity. I didn’t become the God of Death just to deliver some cringe nonsense to be laughed at. In this physical world, I was the symbol of fear and the epitome of death. My looks weren’t just for show. I was meant to look hideous so I could bring out the negative sides of mortals. A human heart’s desire was the most fragile thing to deal with. If you inflicted it with the tiniest bit of fear, they could transform into something unimaginable. But fear could also
SIDAPA “THAT bear must be its mother. She was just trying to protect her young!” Libulan defended. That said, the bear that almost attacked Libulan and me was very anxious. But she chose to display a brave front in order to hide the presence of her little one. I stopped using my powers and didn’t do anything that would agitate the mother bear anymore. When she realized that I was no longer a threat, she went back to her baby and they took off. After that, Libulan came running to me and hugged me. “I thought you were going to leave me alone for good,” he cried. “Huh?” I frowned. “Libulan, you’re—” “Do you hate me, Sidapa?” he asked, and lifted his head up to me. He was teary eyed. “I don’t hate you,” I replied but he wasn’t convinced. “Then why do you always try to push me away? Am I an eyesore to you?” he added, and his tears fell down. “I wasn’t,” I denied. “You did! You always did!” he insisted. “I can’t understand your actions. You’re a mystery to me, Sidapa. But even so, I
SIDAPA “BE careful!” I told Libulan. We descended at the foot of the mountain. I wanted Libulan to see how lively the festival would be tonight. People in this village would sing, dance, and eat all together. They would all gather near the bonfire. “Wow~” Libulan gaped in awe when he saw a few of them busy chattering using a distinctive dialect that they used to communicate to each other. We concealed ourselves behind a very thick bush and a large tree that had huge branches and thick leaves. It was easier for me to hide but not for Libulan. His hair and skin color would stand out. “Amazing, isn’t it?” I said in a low voice. I still had a deep voice despite my current form. “Yes!” Libulan agreed. “Those kids over there,” he pointed a finger at a group of kids gathered in a small circle. They were a mix of boys and girls. “They’re saying something but I can’t understand it, Sidapa,” he said. “Oh. They are just talking about random stuff like what they want to become when they gro
SIDAPA “APPARENTLY, Gods need love, too. That’s why some of us marry other fellow Gods or Goddesses,” Libulan informed. “I am the offspring of *Lihangin and *Lidagat,” he revealed. “Some say that Gods were forbidden to have children with mortals because it might bring chaos between the existence of the two species. But I had no idea that having an intimate relationship with the same sex was a taboo,” he said with a sad expression. “Sidapa… Do you really think that it’s a sin for us to love each other? Because I see nothing wrong with it.” I tucked some of Libulan’s hair strands at the back of his left ear. It gave me a good view of his beautiful face. The delicate look in his eyes had a calming effect on me. His sweet demeanor was something I wanted to protect at all cost. His soft and silly expressions and his funny mood swings brightened up my evenings. He unlocked these desires that I never knew I had, and made me yearn for more. “Libulan, look into my eyes,” I instructed him, an
SIDAPA “I GUESS both of us are,” I seconded, then sighed. “You know what? I’m really insecure on what I look like,” I suddenly opened up. “I hated it when some mortals accidentally saw a glimpse of me whenever I went down this mountain to stroll around or the disgusted look on other Gods when they saw me in my true form. ‘Why do I look like this? Why are they scared? Why do they all cower in fear when they see me?’—These questions haunted me for thousands of years that I’ve been in this mortal world,” I told Libulan. “I… I also got scared of you.” Libulan’s voice trembled when he said that. He was guilty. I breathed out before answering him. “Yes, but you didn’t fear my appearance. You only feared the thought of being eaten alive by me,” I clarified. Libulan faintly smiled. “I was surprised by myself, too. I really do get scared so easily but when I saw you in your real form, I saw sadness,” he pointed out. “Sadness?” I repeated. “Yes, sadness,” he confirmed. He made me loosen my
SIDAPA I WAITED for two days, but still there was no sign of Libulan ever coming back. I ought to trust him and his words. And I will still do until he comes back, I thought to myself while I sent a group of souls that went to Magwayen’s realm. All of them committed mass suicide this morning. Apparently, they were a little group of individuals that wanted to receive divine powers from the Gods and they thought that sacrificing their own lives would grant their wish. After I was done, I decided to go to the Balete tree. I touched some of its overgrown hanging branches as I recalled that night. This tree was where Libulan and I made love. Until now, I could still vividly remember his sweet moans and loving voice each time he yearned for my name. Then I saw that piece of cloth from his robe that got torn apart when I undressed him. It got tangled on a twig with a sharp edge. We both laughed when that happened and after that he told me that he would leave that torn piece to me. I forgo
SIDAPA “LIBULAN!” I called out to him. It pricked my heart when I saw the bruises all over his body. “My beloved, Sidapa!” Libulan cried out to me as he held onto the jail bars. “He won’t tell us the reason why you two committed the crime. His mouth was shut the whole time and quietly accepted all the beatings,” Kaptan revealed. It made me feel sick to the stomach. “He is quite serious about you. Given his weak state, he even sacrificed his own powers just to spare your life.” I growled in mixed anger and pain because my beloved Libulan suffered and I was not there. “My Libulan, why?!” I yelled at him with my tears overflowing. [Ah, this is the very first time that I shed tears,] I thought to myself. [I thought crying can ease the pain but why? Why does it hurt so much, Libulan?!] I asked inside my mind as I looked at my beloved who was also tormented when he saw my current state. “Please, Kaptan! Don’t hurt, Sidapa!” Libulan begged the God Kaptan and the man turned his head at h
SIDAPA “SIDAPA!” Libulan shouted and bawled his eyes out. I was in turmoil, but he was suffering the most. He reached his hand out between the bars and wailed when he couldn’t even go by my side. “Stop this, please! I beg you! Don’t do this! You are not a bad person, my beloved! Stop punishing yourself!” While I was distracted by Libulan, Kaptan took that chance. It was already too late when I tried to block his attack. He had already pierced his right arm into my chest. Everything happened so fast that I wasn’t able to even think about it. I coughed out some blood and gasped for air. When I looked at Libulan again, he was screaming at the top of his lungs and crying so hard but I heard no sound coming out from him. “I gave you the chance to back out and I could have given you time to repent, but you chose this, Sidapa,” Kaptan said to me in a low voice. There was no anger in his tone, just pure abhorrence. He was revolted at the fact that Libulan and I chose to love each other desp
LEON/LIBULAN “I WILL.” Sidapa was taken aback by my quick response. “I was very disappointed when you told me that what Leon and Sheldon had were all lies,” I began. My spear reappeared, and I let it float up. “Because, as far as I know, I loved you both, whether it was you or Sheldon. You may be two different people, but I spent so much of my life as Leon. I treasured everyone who had been a part of my life. I value each and every one of you. In terms of my real name, I’m not sure why I didn’t tell you I was Luan. But I did hear someone’s voice whisper in my ear for a brief moment. “This is not the time,” the voice said. I apologize for keeping you waiting for so long, my beloved,” I said. “I’m also sorry for not listening to you at the time,” he added. “It’s all right. I now understand why you did it. Sidapa, you kept your promise to me that night,” I said. “I love you, too… more than my own life, Libulan. I’d do anything for you.” “You really exceeded my expectations,” I chuckl
LEON/LIBULAN “PLEASE don’t get any closer!” He growled and fixed his gaze on me. But I insisted on walking forward rather than back. “It’s fine. This time, I’m not going to leave you behind,” I assured him. “I told you not to get any closer!” he growled again. His lower body began to wither and shrivel. Whatever was causing it had to be related to his overwhelming power. From where I was, I could feel its heaviness. It was sucking my life away. “You don’t have to bear it all to yourself. If you want to lash out, you can do so with me,” I told him. Sidapa began panting and shaking his head violently. “No,” he refused, but he was clearly holding back. “I told Agui to get you out of here!” “He did, but I chose to stay,” I said, a faint smile formed on my face. “It’s all right, Sidapa. I’m sorry for abandoning you. I should’ve fought alongside you until the bitter end. I’m truly sorry.” “No!” he denied. “Get the hell out!” I came to a complete stop in front of him and was about to t
LEON/LIBULAN SIDAPA was about to stab me when a massive ball of fire crashed into him, trapping him inside and separating him from the rest of us. Only then did I realize Roark had vanished. “What happened to Roark?” In a panic, I inquired. “He was only here a short time ago,” Lisuga confirmed. She, too, began to be concerned. I could feel my entire God power flowing through me. Despite regaining my true form, I was not satisfied. I felt compelled to return just to end something else. Instead, it made me feel terrible on the inside. “Libulan, please stay here. Sidapa is dead set on killing you. He’s completely insane!” Likabutan tried to persuade me. I knew he had good intentions and was only concerned about my safety. But would anything change if I continued to flee? I couldn’t stand to do nothing and watch everyone die in front of me. “Please forgive me, brother. I will face Sidapa and stop him no matter what,” I declared emphatically. “You and Lisuga must find a safe place
SHELDON/SIDAPA [WHAT is this? These fires are very familiar,] I thought as I stared at the flames that tried but failed to burn me alive. It didn’t, however, leave me unscathed. “Sidapa!” exclaimed a familiar voice. The fortune teller appeared in front of me when I looked up to see who it was. “Who is that pathetic fortune teller? No. “You’re not the fortune teller,” I told myself, and when I realized who he was, he grinned maniacally. “Agui?!” I exclaimed, perplexed. It was the fortune teller’s body that appeared just now, but his voice and mannerisms were unmistakably similar to Agui’s. I’ll never forget his arrogant demeanor. He was a particularly vexing God. The fortune teller (Agui) jumped to his feet and boasted the moment he spoke to me. “Behold my grand presence, you arrogant God of Death!” he exclaimed, pointing at me. “I dare you to a fight!” “Because I hadn’t felt your presence before, I didn’t think much of that guy. If only I had known, I would have killed you back t
SHELDON/SIDAPA I MADE a huge mistake. I had not intended for things to end in this manner. All I ever wanted was to see my beloved Libulan again. But I messed everything up. All I wanted was for us to have another opportunity to be together. Our story was brief, and we didn’t even get to savor the moments we did have. I was well aware of the consequences from the start, but I chose to disregard them. In comparison to Libulan, I should have been able to accept our fate with ease, but the tables have turned. Death, which had always been a normal occurrence for me, became my greatest fear and weakness. I was terrified of losing Libulan forever. It drove me insane. But my desperation only exacerbated the situation. Time slowed down as Libulan stood up and confronted me bravely. He was looking down, but I could see that he was enraged at me. This was not how I intended for him to feel. And I was certain he would be disappointed in me, which is why I sealed his memories away. Part of m
LEON/LIBULAN “LIBULAN!” It was Likabutan’s voice. He dashed out and caught me just in time. The impact of my fall greatly affected Likabutan’s body. “Argh!” He groaned and growled in intense pain as he became my cushion. He coughed out some blood after receiving my harsh fall. “Libulan! Likabutan!” I could see Lisuga running towards our direction with a panicked voice. When she arrived, she quickly bent over and checked our condition. [This is not making any sense at all. Why is Sidapa doing this?] I asked myself inside my mind. I looked up to him one more time and he just remained unmoved in midair, waiting for us to beat him up again. “Why won’t you talk to me?!” I shouted at Sidapa. As expected, his mouth remained shut. “Talk to me, damn it! Was the Sheldon that this body of mine met six years ago was nothing but a fraud?! All those passionate nights that we shared together, were all of them lies?! Did you really love me?! Answer me! Don’t make me look like a clueless fool here!
LEON/LIBULAN I SNAPPED back to reality when I heard a loud explosion a few meters away from me. Beside me was my crying sister, Lisuga, who clearly tried to shelter me from whatever that was going on around us. When I lifted my head, I saw two figures endlessly attacking each other without a care in the world. The two of them were badly wounded, but none of them gave a damn, not even the people around them. When I found the strength to speak up, I shouted at the top of my lungs and called out to the man I called ‘beloved’. “Sidapa, please stop this!” But he didn’t even budge or bat an eye on me. He was simply lost in his urge to finish everything with his own hands. [Why are you doing this, Sidapa? What are you trying to prove by dragging everyone else in our problem? Shouldn’t you talk it out with me instead of acting this way?] I thought to myself while clenching my fists in anger. “Get away from here, Lisuga,” I told my sister who was trembling by my side. She quickly refused to
ROARK “RING a bell?” The man smirked at me with full confidence. I stared at him for seconds and tried my hardest not to ruin his mood, but nothing would come to mind. “Are you a psychic like—” “Ah, damn! I’m Agui!” he growled angrily and threw childish tantrums, making the fire on the fireballs hotter and larger. “How can you not tell?! I thought you were way better than Leon, who couldn’t even remember the tiniest bit about his past life, but you’re far more worse!” he grumbled. “How would I even know?!” I snapped at him. “But you’re a psychic, right?!” he retorted. “That’s not how my psychic ability works, jerk!” I retaliated. “Jerk?!” His eyes widened, and he was suddenly covered in fire but he didn’t look like he was hurting. “You dare call a God like me a jerk?!” “God?!” I exclaimed, baffled. “Don’t tell me… You are that kind of God?” “I just told you my name!” he yelled. “I am Agui, the God of Fire!” “What?!” I gaped in disbelief. “That’s impossible! What do you want f
ROARK “WHY did you do it, Sidapa?!” Leon asked his lover, sounding betrayed and hurt. “Did I oppose the judgement that was passed on us? If we were supposed to die right here before, why did you change our fates?!” Sidapa let out a sigh before answering, “There is no point explaining myself, is there?” he said sarcastically. Then, a cloud of black smoke started to disperse around him, giving all of us chills down to our very spines. “You were not supposed to retrieve your memories. If this psychic here,” he threw a quick glare at me before talking back to Leon, “didn’t find the necklace, none of these would have happened. We could have spent our lives happily.” Leon, Lisuga, and Likabutan took small steps back. Sidapa was brewing with danger. He was serious about taking us on. Even I could feel his menacing power. He was no doubt the God of Death that people feared nowadays! [Seriously, am I going to get caught up in this mess? What am I now, some kind of eye witness?!] I panicked