Paris came to my flat like she promised after Olivia dropped me off. I didn't want to sleep alone honestly, but I was still going to be alone at Liv's place since she's on the night shift this week."wine only is fine..." she said and I sat the bottle next to her and a glass then joined her, "how are you Paris?"She shrugged, "I'm okay you know. How are you?"I shook my head, "I've been trying to get a hold of you for the past month Paris."She sighed, "I know. It was just something big to swallow knowing you fucked Tawny the same time she was fucking me."I stared at her waiting for her to go on. I wasn't going to say something until she said everything she was feeling or she wanted to say."Amora I was just shocked okay and I was mad at you for doing that, I was with Tawny and I've preached about this so much. You can't sleep with my partner.. Sure if I was your friend you could do whatever, but Amora you're my sister. That's a whole different level of messing up."I shook my head a
"okay... I'll just leave.." Luna said and I furrowed my brows at her shocked, "we haven't even started talking and you're leaving?""Tawny wants to talk to you.." she stated the obvious and I rolled my eyes and went to pour myself a glass of wine, God knows I needed that, "can she fucking bring cameras and create an audience.. Because she most definitely loves showing the world how everyone around her is all fucked up.""I deserve that.. So I think..."I ignored her and looked at Luna, "dude!!""Amora please. She came all this way, she must have something important to say." Amora said siding with Tee.She was pissing me off. I wasn't sure if she actually was siding with her or she just wanted to leave. She knows what Tawny did and I told her a million times I don't want to talk to her and yet she was forcing me."I told you I don't want to talk to Tawny..." I said and looked at thee stairs, I was going to leave them together so that they can talk if that was the case."Amora I'm sorry
For some stupid reason as I sat here on the bottom of my steps holding Tawny I couldn't help but see her in her future. I could see her shout out encouragement from the sidelines of the rugby field, taking photos and trying to coach her teammates or better yet her own team from the bench. Of course I know she'd want to be playing with them too, but her injury forced her to quit her career soon.Many athletes experience injuries early in their careers that actually keep them out from the sport they love and hinders their goals. Tawny was lucky to have played from when she was 17 until she was 33. Many people didn't even reach that age.I smiled a bit as she sniffled a bit on my shoulder, "hey... I can see your future."She pulled away and looked at me confused. Her eyes were a little puffy from the crying. Without even thinking I wiped her tears, "wanna hear about it."She bit her inside cheek and slowly nodded her head.I kept my smile on my face, "so... I know this won't be the same
"babyyyyy... Hey"'hey Princess... How are you?'"I'm good.. And my mind is a little over the place... Today was a lot."'how's Luna? Is she still there?'"no babe but Tawny is here."It went quiet for a few seconds before she spoke, 'are you okay? Should I come?'"would you be able to come?" I asked and she laughed, 'maybe no.. But I can still try if you're not okay.'"surprisingly I'm okay babe. We talked, but I wanna tell you face to face what we talked about and everything."'okay princess. I can't wait to see you again.'"I can't wait too. So she left her things at the office and will crash downstairs and leave tomorrow morning." I said and my girlfriend responded, 'is she okay?' "no.. She's not. But we will talk all about it when you are here and tomorrow I'm going to your place. I think I can start painting again." 'you painting is a great idea baby. I'll come get you when I get off.'"I'll appreciate that, you still have a key right..?"'yes princess I do.'"see you when you
Last time I was in Soweto was more than 10 years ago when Luna convinced me to go there and party. I vowed never to go back there again.. But here I was today driving with my girlfriend in her expensive car to a place I was scared of."maybe we should have went home and take a different car." I said to her looking around us.You hear or read a lot in the news about what's going down in some parts of Soweto. Even the Tracker on her car was literally warning my girlfriend that she was in a high risk area. I had no idea what to do."or maybe we should have just stayed and let your person deal with this, I'm sure they would have come with her home." I said again and Liv ignored me and followed the GPS. It was leading us to a place called Eldorado Park. Tawny was there apparently according to her GPS in her car.We still didn't alert her mother because we were terrified that she'd freak out and maybe get sick. We wanted to get Tawny and make sure she was okay before calling Mrs King.I loo
God! Why did she have to be gone so soon? We had so many plans! She talked about marrying me! About us moving in together! We didn't get to do that! Her life was taken right in front of my eyes! Why her! Gone too soon...From that moment there were only two emotions that I could switch in between. There were times when I was crying my eyes out until I could barely breathe. And then times when I was kind of okay — but only because it doesn’t feel real at all, because it hadn’t sunk in, or because I refused to believe that it was the truth.Every morning, my body realized it before my brain did. I would wake up and already feel sick to my stomach — not physically no, but mentally. It was this heaviness in my heart. A lightness in my stomach that made me want to puke every little thing I put through my mouth. Sometimes it would take a minute for me to process what was wrong. There was a split second when my mind was still fuzzy and sleep was still clung to me, where I wondered wh
I felt weird leaving my bed and going to join the so called dinner with Tawny and Luna. But Tawny being here was the only reason that pushed me to come. She thought she could just do what she did and get away with it? If it wasn't for her Olivia would be alive right now. If it wasn't for me, Olivia would be alive."okay just take it easy... She's still not okay. Let's let her lead the conversation." I heard my sister say as I walked down the stairs."life should go on though Paris. She is alive, she can't just shut down the world you know. She needs to keep living.." Tawny said and I almost asked her if that's what she is doing. But I stopped myself. I didn't want to be a bitch. As for my sister, she was good. Treating me like an egg but also being good to me. I guess I was lucky to be dealing with this with her by my side and not someone who'd tell me life should go kn and I should keep living like I didn't watch my girlfriend get shot and have her take her last breath in my arms.
"Tawny King..." we said when we reached the reception but someone caught my attention, "Amora.... This way."It was Tawny's little sister. We followed behind her until she lead us to a room. She didn't want to go in, she just pointed at the door.I looked at her and swallowed before asking, "is she okay?"She nodded her head, "yes she is.. But our mom is not."For some stupid reason I was relieved that Tee was okay. I nodded my head at her and slowly walked towards the door.From there I could see Tawny sitting in a chair next to her bed holding her hand. Her head was rested on the side of the bed. She was talking."mom please... Please don't leave me. I'm not ready to lose you. I've lost everything already, everything. I can't lose you too." she said before sniffing, "of course this might have been caused by my actions in the past year but I lost myself mom. I lost myself and thought I could get a fix with drugs and alcohol.."Drugs? Tawny was doing drugs? What the fuck!"at first th
After the talk I had with Luna I knew I needed to do a deeper introspection on myself so that I could move forward fully like I had been advised.You know life was really hard to get. It's not like I had never been through something like this before. I have lost a loved one before. My parents, but then I guess it was different somehow because I knew with them I couldn't replace them even with any person that wanted to take the parent role in my life, somehow they could never be what my parents were, they could never give birth to me... But when it came to a partner. It was so scary. Letting go of Olivia meant opening up to someone else and being that vulnerable again. It meant forgetting what she and I shared and living with this other human being. The thought of that scared me and it also made me feel uneasy. Liv meant the world to me, and moving on fully felt like saying goodbye forever.But Luna was telling the truth. I needed to admit that she was no more so I could live my life.
After the letter my life seemed to have hit a whole full stop. Everything stopped and I started to question it all.What on earth was going on. And what was the conversation between Tawny and Olivia the day before her death.I couldn't believe that two years down the line I was still asking myself the same question. I literally asked her this before she passed away and she just couldn't tell me.. Then now this surfaces two years later.. Well, maybe if I had read the letter earlier it was going to appear then, but still I wasn't ready to read the letter back then."so what are you thinking?""I don't know... Lots of people now want to be associated with me because business is booming. Could we meet the three artists and see if they are really worth it so I can decide if I really want another gallery or just a whole new idea coz it just hit me..""as much as I love the business you and how much you're so concentrating on that.. I actually wasn't talking about that. I meant the thoughts
Today we would be dating for 3 full years.. It was one and a half year since she passed away.. But it was our anniversary. I stupidly got the reminder from my calender and now I was in my apartment looking for something I didn't know. I felt like I was going to lose my mind had I not found it... whatever it was."hey... Amora." Tawny said behind me and I quickly turned to her, "what are you doing here?" I snapped and she looked at me confused, "you texted me. It didn't make sense so I came here to make sure that you were okay."I turned around, "I'm looking for something okay.. Just... Just please.." I left my sentence short and went to my kitchen and opened and closed every drawer."Mimi..." Tawny said and I turned around to her and yelled, "don't... You don't fucking get to call me that. Not after everything you have put me through. You don't get to call me by a pat name."She looked ate so confused... And then I saw her face soften. She shook her head a bit and walked towards me.W
Helping Luh plan for her wedding felt like I was doing it for me. She wanted things I felt I'd have wanted and I was enjoying every moment of it.So when I finally saw the end product, I could not be happier at that moment. I felt so proud of myself and where I've become. I looked around the room, I couldn’t believe that I was the best woman or should I say maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding, especially after everything that had went down in the past two years and us splitting up a little bit. I never thought that I would experience this at all. But I felt so blessed to be here. Her husband looked so out of place in a black taxedo that had a little split on the back instead of the fireman’s suit that he was accustomed to wearing everyday at work. He looked way more cute by the way. My mind took me down the memory lane when I saw my best friend. I had met her many years ago when she joined the same primary school as I, and now I was given the honor of being her maid of hono
I was really shocked when the following day arrived and my name wasn't being smeared on the internet about the incident that happened at Kiddies with Tawny. But then again I guess what she said really got to those people and they didn't post about it. And since the talk in the car, my relationship with Tawny was still okay, she was still herself which was what I loved but she respected me and my decision not to cross any boundaries.In two days though, she was going to be out of rehab and she was going to be back in the real world. That kinda made me happy, she has made such a big progress."hey dude... Have you called my make up artist?" that was Luna freaking out again and I sighed, "just because you ask 4 times it won't change.. Yes I did.. Now stop worrying. You're getting married in 3 days."She smiled, "oh my God what if this is the biggest mistake of my life. We've only known each other for a little less than two years. I can't be very sure about him right now. I can't marry t
I got out of the dress and folded it then put it on the chair before wearing my clothes. I was starting to get mad. I felt like I was betraying Olivia. So whatever happened made me feel guilty. Like how could she not think, I just lost Olivia a few months ago. Now she wanted to step in. I wanted to support her and make sure she was okay or at least let her know that she had a friend in me. But she wasn't paying attention to that, she thought more could come out of this. "Amora look, I'm sorry." Tawny said joining me, she was now fully dressed back to her clothes...and I ignored her and finished up what I was doing."Amora please talk to me.""and say what?"She's shrugged, "I don't know... Anything.""I have nothing to say.""well I do. I'm not sorry for attempting to kiss you coz I didn't do that by mistake... But I'm just sorry I made you uncomfortable."I shook my head, she had no idea how she made me feel. Uncomfortable wasn't even close to describing it."Amora...""you made me
Moving back to my place wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. It just had so many memories I was terrified of revisiting.I hated it so much but I knew I had to do it. I couldn't live at Paris's place forever.. And I couldn't sell this place either, a lot of good things happened here. So I wasn't going to allow the same memories that made me happy to push me to get rid of my place.I'd literally feel her presence or feel like she'd walk in. Being back there made her death so real. A knock on the door would have me expecting her. The calls we used to have on her night shift. How I'd wake up with food or with her cuddling me. All that made me come to terms with the fact that she wasn't here anymore. She was gone. I sighed and shifted the matras in my bedroom. Like I said, I needed to clean this place. Luna was downstairs helping me. After full two hours I was done in my bedroom and it felt like it was all new. Maybe it was the new bedsheets, curtains and blankets I bought. I smile
"do you know where Tawny is? I mean she said she'll be at my wedding but she disappeared. No one knows where she is." Luna asked walking in with a bag full of groceries. I quickly got up and ran to her to help, "couldn't you just tell me you had plastic bags so I can get you... Is it everything?" "it's fine I asked you a question. Do you know where she is?"I didn't know why she was pressing on this."why would I know?"She shrugged, "I don't know. I just don't want her to not come to my wedding after promising she will. The Media is busy eating her up and making up stories about her going crazy since the outburst at your opening."I sighed, this was what I hated about the media. The ability to make one and also break them. It was just too much. "yeah I hate the media dude. Stop listening to it. Tawny will come to your wedding. What did you want her to do?""I don't know..." she said with another shrug, "maybe her to learn my steps so that she can dance.. By the way you and her are
When Tawny was ready, like I promised, I took her to rehab and dropped her off. "thank you for doing this." she said. I gave her a small smile and decided to joke a little, "it's not a big deal. I just wanted to make sure you really come here you know."She smiled a bit and just looked at me. She looked as if there was something she wanted to say but couldn't. She then shook her head and that's when I knew that she definitely stopped herself from saying what she wanted to say. So I asked," what? "She continued to shake her head no, "umh. Naah, Amora you've already done enough. I can't burden you with me and all my shit.""hey... Besides me joking about bringing you here so I could know you are really here.. I came because I wanted and I wanted you to know that you have support. So I am here, talk to me about anything. It's not a burden at all." She nodded her head a little bit before saying," so... Incase anything happens to me. I want you to know that... "My eyes shot wide open