Chapter 4. The Alpha king's Torment.

Alpha king keiran.

Fury coursed through me as I watched Evelyn leave my room, her defiance ringing in my ears. With a repressed groan, I smashed a goblet of wine to the wall, The broken things scattered around the room showed how angry I was. Running a hand through my hair, I let out a huff, growling. How could she challenge my authority like that? And why did she make me feel so conflicted?

In frustration, I slammed my fist against the wall, momentarily easing the pain in my chest. I carried the weight of loss, a constant reminder of the things I gave up for power and control. Taking deep breaths, I tried my earnest to calm myself down. Loneliness seeped into me, reminding me of the solitary life I had chosen.

Every day, I felt the deep pain of my mate and pup's absence, like a constant ache in my soul. They were taken away from me, their lives cut short by the cruel hands of fate. I was supposed to protect them, to be their leader, but I failed. The guilt haunted me always, tearing at my heart and threatening to consume me entirely.

It's true that I had earned a reputation as a tough and ruthless alpha king. My upbringing was harsh, lacking love or kindness. Survival was all that mattered, and I knew from an early age that showing any weakness would only lead to more suffering. Yet, in the midst of that darkness, a spark of tenderness blossomed when I found my mate.

Evelyn's accusations haunted me deeply. Could it really be true? Was I the reason my mate died? The thought hurt like a sharp knife, reopening wounds that had never truly healed. The memories of that tragic night played before my eyes, a vivid reminder of the terrible things I had done. Not wanting to dwell on it, I went on to grab another bottle of wine, chugging it down my body. Still, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake what the things she said.

Her words kept echoing in my head, a harsh truth I couldn't ignore any longer. Maybe I was responsible for her death—the one who had awakened something in me, a glimpse of compassion and vulnerability. I used to resent those feelings, fearing they would make me weak, but now I realize how wrong I was.

My mind drifted back to Evelyn. I had planned to kill her, trying to get rid of the reminder of my past failures. But my wolf stopped me, sensing something in her that deserved to survive. So instead, I decided to keep her as a servant, a twisted way to control the chaos that threatened to consume me.

Despite my control over her, there was no comfort in it. The fiery anger and thirst for revenge that once consumed me had faded, leaving an emptiness that echoed throughout my kingdom. She served as a constant reminder of my own flaws, of the monstrous person I had become. But I couldn't give in to those feelings, the last thing I wanted was to tarnish my image.

I hated how my heart yearned for her, despising myself for giving in to such vulnerability. Our connection and her spark of life ignited conflicting feelings within me. I wanted to break her spirit, to make her bend to my will, but a part of me resisted that darkness.

Grief and regret overwhelmed me, chaining me to my past. The weight of my actions burdened me heavily, and I couldn't shake it off. I knew I was heading down a destructive path, but the allure of power and control still tempted me, trapping me in a cycle of torment.

And so, I embraced my torment, knowing that I deserved every ounce of pain that haunted me. Until the ache subsided, Evelyn would remain in my service, her presence a constant reminder of the choices I had made. For now, I would bury my regrets beneath a mask of indifference, a facade that concealed the shattered pieces of my soul.

As the moon ascended the night sky, casting an ethereal glow upon the kingdom, I found myself alone in the darkness of my chambers. The silence was deafening, amplifying the haunting whispers of my conscience. The weight of my actions pressed upon me, suffocating any semblance of peace.

My mind wandered back to Evelyn and a frown crossed my face, my brows scrunched together. The woman who had dared to challenge my dominance. She possessed a fire within her, a resilience that both infuriated and intrigued me. The thought of her defiance stirred something deep within my being, an inexplicable longing that I refused to acknowledge.

The truth was, I longed for a connection, a bit of comfort in the darkness surrounding me. But the guilt, like poison in my veins, reminded me of the lives I destroyed, including my beloved mate's. I couldn't let myself find solace when the blood on my hands was still fresh.

Standing by the grand window of my chamber, I looked out at the moonlit kingdom. The night whispers echoed my deepest fears and regrets. I was a ruthless ruler, driven by power and vengeance, and Evelyn reminded me of how far I'd fallen.

In the solitude of my sanctuary, my defenses crumbled. The weight of grief bore down on me, threatening to break me. I sank to my knees, letting out a primal roar that echoed through the chamber, expressing my torment.

"I loved you, my mate," I whispered into the night, my voice heavy with sorrow. "I failed you, and now I'm burdened with my sins."

Memories of our time together flooded my mind, tender moments mixed with the haunting image of her lifeless body. I had taken her life, extinguishing the light that once brightened my darkness. Regret consumed me, leaving no room for peace or redemption.

Amidst my anguish, Evelyn's face appeared before me. Her defiant eyes, filled with fire, seemed to pierce through my darkness, defying my attempts to forget her. I realized my actions hadn't crushed her spirit; instead, they ignited a flame that threatened to consume us both.

I reached out to touch the cold glass of the windowpane, seeking solace in its unyielding surface. My gaze was fixed out the window, unseeing. Evelyn's voice echoed in my mind, her defiance and resilience piercing through my hardened heart. It was a reminder that even in darkness, a glimmer of light could emerge.

I didn't know what the future held, if our paths would cross again or lead to more destruction. But for now, I would carry the weight of my regrets and search for redemption in the darkest corners of my soul.