Liam
I leave the jock room and breathe a sigh of relief. Did Dale honestly think I was going to tell everyone what we did over spring break? I was more embarrassed about it than he could ever be. I let myself get defiled by yet another closeted jock.
How original.
Then Mr. Royalty himself had to walk in right after Dale made me feel small, just adding to my already glorious day. His hazel eyes seemed to bore into me as he regarded me with curiosity and a head cocked to the side. My heart did a little flip when he looked at me, then I noticed his glorious half-naked body and had to get out of there. Did he hear Dale’s exchange? If he did, he showed no outward signs.
Trust me, I get it. All American jocks are not supposed to like guys, it’s taboo. But for some unknown fucking reason they gravitated towards me as if I was some sort of fucking light of experimentation. Half the football team had suppressed homosexual feelings, and they came to me to live it out - only to push me around when they congregated. It was only an alpha display though; I know this, but it didn’t hurt any less. I try to maintain my nonchalance but deep down my self-worth is taking a knock.
I get into my car and drive home in silence - not even Taylor Swift could lift my mood right now.
What was with that look Asher gave me? It looked like pity and if there’s one thing I hate; it was the look of pity. The hell was up with him today, anyway? Every time he passed me, he would look away as if my gaze alone could turn him gay. Oh, well. Whatever.
I pull up outside my house and park my car before heading inside, spotting the stack of mail laying on the porch. I walk towards them slowly and my heart does a flip when I see three thick, large envelopes addressed to me.
Yale. Brown and Dartmouth.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god!
I run inside and rush up to my room, ripping the letters open as I go along, and when I reach my room, I am holding all three of them with trembling fingers. My eyes were closed and when I opened them my heart stopped - I had been accepted to all three Ivy League schools on full-ride scholarships.
WHAT?!
I hear screaming all around me, only to realise later that the screaming was coming from me. My mother bursts through my door with a look of distress and when he sees me, I run up to her and swing her around. She was still wearing her white hospital coat and faintly smelled of disinfectant.
“I got accepted, mom! All three accepted me on full rides!” I exclaim and see her eyes widen, then tear up.
“Oh, honey!” She exclaims, holding a hand over her mouth and crying tears of happiness as she looks at me with pride. It’s always only been my mom and me, and her acceptance and pride meant the world to me. She takes me in her arms and holds me tight.
“I am so proud of you, Liam.” She says through hitched breaths and we just stand there embracing.
“This calls for a celebration! I will make all your best meals for supper!” I giggle as I see her do a little dance on her way out of my bedroom. Flopping down on my bed, I breathe out a sigh of relief. Three Ivy League schools deemed me worthy enough - the thought alone had me floating on a cloud! But now… which one do I choose?
A sudden wave of anxiety breaks over my skin in hives. I never expected to be accepted by all three. Now I had to choose where to go. Yale was the obvious choice, but Brown had always been my first love because of their biomedical programme. Yale would get me places and was my mother’s alumni, while Brown had my heart.
Hmm. This is going to need more than a moment’s thought. I get up from my bed and walk over to my computer to do research that I can recall right off the top of my head. But in the end, I decided on Yale because with them I could get my Bachelor’s and Master's simultaneously.
With a smile on my face, I headed downstairs to share my news with my mother - she was the only one rooting for me, anyway.
***
My fog of happiness only lasted until the third period the following day.Dale, Brock, and Matthew had me up against the lockers yet again. The blows to my stomach had me reeling and I nearly dropped my glasses. I didn’t want my mom to replace them yet again, so I just took the beatings. I know why they were doing this - all three of them were in the closet and scared I would say something.
“Got nothing to say now, faggot?” Dale says, but all I could do was grin before he clocked me one in the eye. Ah, fuck. That’s what I get for being cocky, I guess.
“What the fuck is going on here now?” I look up and see Asher behind the three stooges, looking more pissed off than before.
“Ah, just knocking him around a bit, you know the deal,” Brock says as he pushes me against the locker again. Asher pinches the bridge of his nose then grabs Brock, throwing him against the opposite row of lockers.
“You dickheads are so original, jocks picking on the gay guy. Break this up and let’s go.” He says and walks away before they could comment. They follow him reluctantly, but not before Dale lands a final blow to my abdomen.
“Ah, fuck!” I exclaim again as my glasses go flying and I run after them, snatching them up before the jocks could break them again. I get up and remove a tissue from my pocket to wipe away the stray blood and tears.
Was this because of my comment on the field yesterday? Fuck, I never know when to keep my mouth shut. Sighing, I dragged myself to my next class, knowing full well that my eye would be shut by the time the period was over. How do I explain this to my mother? She knew I was getting bullied but was under the impression that it had stopped. If only she knew how worse it had gotten since Spring Break two years ago.
Half of the football team were in denial about their sexuality and blamed me for making them feel the way they do; as if it was my fault they were closeted gay or bi. I seriously could not wait to get out of this stupid, backward town.
After that, the day goes by in a blur, and by the end of the day; I drag myself to my car and sigh in frustration. Today was supposed to be a good day, a happy fucking day instead it turned into the worst day ever. I don’t know why today’s round of bullying hurt more than usual, but it did.
The parking lot would be empty by now because, being the complete dork that I was, I stayed behind to finish my extra credit assignment - not that I really needed it, but I was getting bored with the school curriculum. The next few months would be hell, then I would finally be free of this small town and its jock assholes.
Speaking of which, was that Asher leaning against my car?
Asher Another 3 failed tests and I was ready to murder anyone in my way. Fallon sensed the anger rippling off me, and stayed clear for the rest of the day. Everyone did this until I ran into my asshole team, picking on Liam yet again. Normally I would ignore them and walk away, but I was feeling particularly bloodthirsty today. They picked up on my mood during practice. Coach was loving my enthusiasm and asked me to keep it up. Fuck him. I was playing well because I was angry and ready to rip his head off. This was all his fault; threatening me before school even started and placing this enormous responsibility on me. Not only that, but I had to deal with this shit from my dad at home as well. Constantly reminding me that if I fuck up, it would be tickets for me and my career. Fuck. “Hit the showers!” Coach bellows, signalling the end of practice and thank fucking God. I rip off my helmet and for some reason, my eyes flit towa
Liam As soon as he batted those pools of honey at me, I was done for. How could I resist the captain of the football team when he was in begging mode? Wait, so Asher was struggling with his schoolwork? I’ve seen him in class, he never used to get poor grades. Wonder what changed this year? Oh, well. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to find out while I tutor him. I rounded the corner to my house and pulled into the driveway, thinking about Asher and why he would possibly come to me when he had a girlfriend who was just as smart as I was. Hmm. Stop it, Liam! He’s straight! On top of keeping my GPA to an acceptable level, I now had to worry about helping Asher keep his grades up. Would I be able to do it, though? I’ve never had to tutor someone before and now I would be alone with a guy who makes me so nervous I could barely think… A guy who stands by idly while his friends are abusing their peers. Did Asher honestly think that
Liam “You’re tutoring the Asher Prince?” my mother asked me for the fifth time since I told her the newest happenings. What can I say? My mom is my best friend and besides, he might be here when she gets back from work at times. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea about us being alone in the house. “Yes, mom,” I responded, rolling my eyes while I shred chicken for the salad. “Shiiiit, he must be in real trouble to come to you,” she says as she takes a sip of her coffee. I look up at her with a frown. “Wait, what exactly is that supposed to mean?” I ask, feeling slightly offended at her words, but she only chuckles. “The boy is an Alpha male quarterback and probably a homophobe, yet he came to the only openly gay guy for help. I bet he told you to keep it a secret as well.” She says, and I am left dumbfounded at her answer. I look down and continue to shred the chicken, feeling embarrassed by her words. How do mothers do it?
Asher “Hit the showers!” Coach yells, signalling the end of practice. He’s been training us to the bone lately, but we all knew it was to prepare for the first game of the season between the Waterford Capitals and Mountford Rebels in three weeks’ time. To be honest, I’m pumped up about the game; it takes my mind off current things. “Y’all wanna chill at the diner this afternoon? I could fucking use one of Mamma Jane’s Capital’s right about now,” Brock asks as he stands there buck naked while we exit the showers. Mamma Jane’s was a popular mom and pop diner most of us frequented, and a Capital was a fully loaded burger exploding with carbs. It shows you how much football ruled this town; the local diner named a burger meal after our team. The majority of the guys were up for it, but I had my lie planned out already. “Can’t. My fucking dad has a tutor coming over later. The asshole is threatening my college fund if I keep on failing.” I say as I
Asher It’s been about a week since Liam started tutoring me, and yesterday I handed in my essay. I’m confident in what I wrote, but I can’t help thinking of my father’s taunt regarding my tuition. Knowing my old man would make good on his threat, I know this. As I said, I’m my father’s prodigy, not his son. “Mr Prince, please stay behind,” Mrs Williams calls as the lunch bell goes. “Fuck, what did I do now?” I think to myself as I grab my things, and I feel eyes on the back of my head, already knowing that it was Liam staring at me. As soon as the class empties, Mrs Williams gets up and walks towards me, then puts a piece of paper in front of me. I look down, and my heart stopped - it was my essay. B. I got a fucking B! I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry! When I looked up at Mrs Williams, she had a smile on her face. “Is Liam tutoring you?” she suddenly asks, and my heart jumps into my throat. How the fuck did she
*TRIGGER WARNING - POSSIBLE SEXUAL ASSAULT AND HOMOPHOBIC SLUR* Asher “It’s about fucking time the quarterback in you came out again. Good job, Prince.” Coach says and gives me a slap on my back. I feel a regained sense of unity between my teammates and me, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. We hit the showers, with the others talking bullshit while we get ready. Their shitty comments didn’t even phase me today; I felt fucking invincible. I leave the practice feeling refreshed and ready for the first time in weeks. My grades were up, and I got a booty call with my girl just now, Coach was happy with me - life is good! “Ready?” Fallon says as I approach my truck, and I nod. “Fuck, yeah,” I reply, taking her into my arms and kissing her. My dick starts to twitch at the feel of her body pressed up against me, and I squeeze her butt. It’s been a while since I got turned on by anything Fallon did to me
Liam It’s almost 6 pm, and Asher hasn’t been to my place or called to say he wouldn’t be coming today. Should I call him? I sigh and walk over to the kitchen window to look out for him, something I had been doing all afternoon since I got home from school. A smile teases my lips when I think back to what happened this afternoon. A guy from the swim team came up and talked to me; we exchanged numbers, and guess what? He’s bi! He admitted to having a crush on me but didn’t have the courage to talk to me until he saw me sitting by myself this afternoon. The guy had the most swoon-worthy green eyes, full, kissable lips and a body to die for. Ugh, what is it about jocks that just gets me so worked up? We were meeting up for a movie on Friday night, and who knows what could happen afterwards? 6:30 pm and I decided to give up on Asher coming. It’s weird, though. Usually, he would text me if he would be even ten minutes late, but now
Asher I can’t believe I just did that. What the fuck is wrong with me? I knocked into Liam on purpose just so I could piss him off, but that fucking Jason Adams only pushed my buttons more. If he had just shut up, I wouldn’t have gotten even angrier than I am now. Fallon leads me into the guy’s locker room and pushes me against the wall. “What the fuck was that all about, Ash?!” She exclaims, watching me with a disappointing expression. “You know, the reason I fell in love with you was that you weren’t like all these other fucking jocks in this school; you were kind and hated bullying. Now you’ve turned into your fucking friends!” I look at her, not even trying to deny that I had fucked up. “Don’t you think I fucking know that?!” I say without raising my voice, but the tone of my voice made her eyes widen in surprise. “I thought that after yesterday you would be over whatever slump it is that you’re in. I thoug
Seth When Asher Prince asked me to be his girlfriend back in high school, I thought it would finally end these fucked up feelings inside of me. I was head cheerleader, smart, up for an Ivy League school and guys saw me as their wet dream personified. Blonde, perky, nice ass and the perfect sized rack. People wanted me, and they wanted to be me; I had it made, boy. Little did they know that I didn’t want any of it, but I was good at faking. I needed to keep up appearances; no one could find out how much I hated myself. I hated my body, I hated my breasts, the curve of my hips, the softness of my voice. I was attracted to men, but I didn’t feel like a woman. I know they say God doesn’t make mistakes, but I do feel like a little error went into making me. I don’t feel like a woman. I don’t feel girly. I hate the skirts, I hate the dresses, the make up and lace panties. The only time I feel like myself is when I strap up my breast
LiamA headache blinds me as soon as I open my eyes, but thankfully the blinds are drawn, and the room is dark. I slowly sit up in bed and allow my eyes to adjust to the room, but then my heart drops when my eyes eventually focus.I’m at home, I’m in the room I share with Asher, dressed in my most comfortable pj’s, and I have no idea how I got home.Panic grips my chest; I don’t know what happened last night after my second cocktail. Did I come home and fight with Asher? Did I actually fucking drive home?!I look around on my nightstand for my cell phone but don’t see it at all. I don’t even see my glasses. What the fuck is the time now? It’s Friday, and I’m probably late for my first class by now. Deciding to suck it up, I go to the bathroom to do my business then head downstairs to my fate.The smell of bacon and garlic mushrooms make my stomach rumble, and I realise that I didn&rsq
AsherThree am, and Liam is still not home. Seth and I have looked everywhere we thought he might be, but we’ve come up empty. So here I am, pacing the porch while waiting for his Audi to pull into our street.The sadness I felt has been replaced by worry and fear for him. He’s never switched his phone off; we can’t even track him through his cell. Where the fuck could he have gone? Is he safe?“Ash!” I hear Seth call out from inside and am about to go inside when he bursts through the door. “I know where he is! Let’s go! How could I have forgotten?!” He says, then pulls me towards my truck. “I didn’t think he would go to a bar by himself because that’s just not who Liam is!”A bar? Liam is alone at a bar?“Which bar, Seth? How do you know this?” I ask, starting up my truck and pulling out of the driveway. When I look over at Seth, I see him biting
Asher “Liam!” I run out after Liam, but he’s already speeding away in his car. I call out to him, but I get no reaction whatsoever; he doesn’t even slow down.“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I exclaim, punching the concrete garage wall and running back inside to grab my cell phone. We can’t leave things like this, and I won’t allow us to end things like this even if it is all my fault.Liam doesn’t answer when I try his cell, but I keep on trying even after he’s killed the call.How could I have been so stupid? We spoke about having our anniversary dinner indoors and reliving our first night together, but now it doesn’t look like that will be happening. In fact, it feels like Liam has given up on me, on us.I sink down into the couch, my eyes going to everything he has set up for us and finally landing on my gift. Sighing, I pick up the gift box and open it, my heart breaking a
LiamHe walks into the living room, swaying a bit on his feet as he does so, and I stand up. “Hey, baby. You've been waiting long?” He asks me in a slurred voice, scratching the back of his hair, and I shake my head. I know he’s seen the balloon because I saw the dread creeping into his eyes as he did.I shake my head and walk towards him, catching a whiff of stale cigarette smoke on his clothing. “You know, Asher, I decided to be patient with you because I knew you loved me and wanted to make things right, but now, I’m not so sure,” I say, scoffing. I hand over the balloon to him and smile, despite my tears.“Last year today, you claimed me as yours after the first game. It was the best night of my life, knowing I had someone who actually wanted me for more than sex this time around. I felt loved; I felt accepted and cared for. It’s amazing how a year can change someone.”Horror flashes
Asher The after game win always feels like such a rush, and it doesn’t matter if you’re playing it or watching it on TV. When your team scores that winning point and you’re the one to do it, there is nothing quite like it! During the trip back to New Haven, I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy waiting for me at home. I would never have pictured living my college life like this, much less with another guy. I thought I would be at OSU, living it up in my dad’s shadow, pretending to be straight, fucking more girls than I can count and pledging to a frat house. Instead, I’m spending weekends at football practice, actually studying and coming home in the evenings to my boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, who is now transitioning, watching movies and cooking dinners. What a weird turn my life took, and I wouldn't want it any other way. It’s four pm the day after our match, and Coach has decided to treat us to congratulatory drinks. Obviously, I followed
Liam“I’m going to kill him,” Seth warns, pointing the knife he’s using to chop the veg for tonight’s supper at me. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” The glare in his eyes terrifies me, and luckily, it isn’t meant for me!I shake my head. “You can’t do that; then I’ll lose the both of you,” I say, putting my hands together as if handcuffed, and Seth shakes his head.Seth scoffs. “I’ve watched ‘Making A Murderer,’ I think I’m okay.” He says, and I roll my eyes at him. Yes, I told him about what happened this afternoon, including the flirty student.He leans on the kitchen counter and stares at me. “Liam, you need to speak to him about your feelings. Ash probably thinks things are okay between the two of you because you haven't told him how you really feel about this. Miscommunication can ruin even the most secure relations
LiamAsher came home at 4 am last night and got up earlier than me. He’s left for school as well, while I’m sitting here nursing a hangover before my first class at 11. The movie and wine with Seth lasted for two movies, and we both cried like babies, mostly because of the effect the wine was having on us.I shuffle downstairs and see a note from him saying he’ll be home late because of practice tonight, and I sigh. Alone again, then? Should I get used to this?My cell phone ringing catches my attention, and I answer it quickly as it is not helping with my hangover. “Hello? Liam? It’s dark. Are you there?”The voice of my mom breaks through the silence in the house, and I roll my eyes at my stupidity; she’s on a video call with me.“Sorry, mom!” I apologise, then turn the phone to face me, and I smile. I can’t get over the fact that my mom has been glowing over the last fe
LiamNew Haven is different; there’s no claustrophobic feel here, no judgy eyes from our peers, and everyone seems… nicer. It’s been just over six months since our move, and to say that Asher has blossomed is putting it lightly.Waterford stifled his abilities, and his father dulled his shine, but now that he’s not around either, he’s a completely different person. Obviously, he’s on the football team, and they love him. Well, everyone seems to love Asher here; he’s become even more popular than when he was at Waterford High. He also doesn’t hide the fact that he’s gay and with me, but girls still flock around him. In fact, he seems to be proud to hold my hand and kiss me in public.Although, I have to admit that I’m jealous of his popularity. Not that I want to be popular as well, but that everyone knows him now. We can never just walk somewhere without him stopping to chat with someo