Liam
I leave the jock room and breathe a sigh of relief. Did Dale honestly think I was going to tell everyone what we did over spring break? I was more embarrassed about it than he could ever be. I let myself get defiled by yet another closeted jock.
How original.
Then Mr. Royalty himself had to walk in right after Dale made me feel small, just adding to my already glorious day. His hazel eyes seemed to bore into me as he regarded me with curiosity and a head cocked to the side. My heart did a little flip when he looked at me, then I noticed his glorious half-naked body and had to get out of there. Did he hear Dale’s exchange? If he did, he showed no outward signs.
Trust me, I get it. All American jocks are not supposed to like guys, it’s taboo. But for some unknown fucking reason they gravitated towards me as if I was some sort of fucking light of experimentation. Half the football team had suppressed homosexual feelings, and they came to me to live it out - only to push me around when they congregated. It was only an alpha display though; I know this, but it didn’t hurt any less. I try to maintain my nonchalance but deep down my self-worth is taking a knock.
I get into my car and drive home in silence - not even Taylor Swift could lift my mood right now.
What was with that look Asher gave me? It looked like pity and if there’s one thing I hate; it was the look of pity. The hell was up with him today, anyway? Every time he passed me, he would look away as if my gaze alone could turn him gay. Oh, well. Whatever.
I pull up outside my house and park my car before heading inside, spotting the stack of mail laying on the porch. I walk towards them slowly and my heart does a flip when I see three thick, large envelopes addressed to me.
Yale. Brown and Dartmouth.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god!
I run inside and rush up to my room, ripping the letters open as I go along, and when I reach my room, I am holding all three of them with trembling fingers. My eyes were closed and when I opened them my heart stopped - I had been accepted to all three Ivy League schools on full-ride scholarships.
WHAT?!
I hear screaming all around me, only to realise later that the screaming was coming from me. My mother bursts through my door with a look of distress and when he sees me, I run up to her and swing her around. She was still wearing her white hospital coat and faintly smelled of disinfectant.
“I got accepted, mom! All three accepted me on full rides!” I exclaim and see her eyes widen, then tear up.
“Oh, honey!” She exclaims, holding a hand over her mouth and crying tears of happiness as she looks at me with pride. It’s always only been my mom and me, and her acceptance and pride meant the world to me. She takes me in her arms and holds me tight.
“I am so proud of you, Liam.” She says through hitched breaths and we just stand there embracing.
“This calls for a celebration! I will make all your best meals for supper!” I giggle as I see her do a little dance on her way out of my bedroom. Flopping down on my bed, I breathe out a sigh of relief. Three Ivy League schools deemed me worthy enough - the thought alone had me floating on a cloud! But now… which one do I choose?
A sudden wave of anxiety breaks over my skin in hives. I never expected to be accepted by all three. Now I had to choose where to go. Yale was the obvious choice, but Brown had always been my first love because of their biomedical programme. Yale would get me places and was my mother’s alumni, while Brown had my heart.
Hmm. This is going to need more than a moment’s thought. I get up from my bed and walk over to my computer to do research that I can recall right off the top of my head. But in the end, I decided on Yale because with them I could get my Bachelor’s and Master's simultaneously.
With a smile on my face, I headed downstairs to share my news with my mother - she was the only one rooting for me, anyway.
***
My fog of happiness only lasted until the third period the following day.Dale, Brock, and Matthew had me up against the lockers yet again. The blows to my stomach had me reeling and I nearly dropped my glasses. I didn’t want my mom to replace them yet again, so I just took the beatings. I know why they were doing this - all three of them were in the closet and scared I would say something.
“Got nothing to say now, faggot?” Dale says, but all I could do was grin before he clocked me one in the eye. Ah, fuck. That’s what I get for being cocky, I guess.
“What the fuck is going on here now?” I look up and see Asher behind the three stooges, looking more pissed off than before.
“Ah, just knocking him around a bit, you know the deal,” Brock says as he pushes me against the locker again. Asher pinches the bridge of his nose then grabs Brock, throwing him against the opposite row of lockers.
“You dickheads are so original, jocks picking on the gay guy. Break this up and let’s go.” He says and walks away before they could comment. They follow him reluctantly, but not before Dale lands a final blow to my abdomen.
“Ah, fuck!” I exclaim again as my glasses go flying and I run after them, snatching them up before the jocks could break them again. I get up and remove a tissue from my pocket to wipe away the stray blood and tears.
Was this because of my comment on the field yesterday? Fuck, I never know when to keep my mouth shut. Sighing, I dragged myself to my next class, knowing full well that my eye would be shut by the time the period was over. How do I explain this to my mother? She knew I was getting bullied but was under the impression that it had stopped. If only she knew how worse it had gotten since Spring Break two years ago.
Half of the football team were in denial about their sexuality and blamed me for making them feel the way they do; as if it was my fault they were closeted gay or bi. I seriously could not wait to get out of this stupid, backward town.
After that, the day goes by in a blur, and by the end of the day; I drag myself to my car and sigh in frustration. Today was supposed to be a good day, a happy fucking day instead it turned into the worst day ever. I don’t know why today’s round of bullying hurt more than usual, but it did.
The parking lot would be empty by now because, being the complete dork that I was, I stayed behind to finish my extra credit assignment - not that I really needed it, but I was getting bored with the school curriculum. The next few months would be hell, then I would finally be free of this small town and its jock assholes.
Speaking of which, was that Asher leaning against my car?
Seth When Asher Prince asked me to be his girlfriend back in high school, I thought it would finally end these fucked up feelings inside of me. I was head cheerleader, smart, up for an Ivy League school and guys saw me as their wet dream personified. Blonde, perky, nice ass and the perfect sized rack. People wanted me, and they wanted to be me; I had it made, boy. Little did they know that I didn’t want any of it, but I was good at faking. I needed to keep up appearances; no one could find out how much I hated myself. I hated my body, I hated my breasts, the curve of my hips, the softness of my voice. I was attracted to men, but I didn’t feel like a woman. I know they say God doesn’t make mistakes, but I do feel like a little error went into making me. I don’t feel like a woman. I don’t feel girly. I hate the skirts, I hate the dresses, the make up and lace panties. The only time I feel like myself is when I strap up my breast
LiamA headache blinds me as soon as I open my eyes, but thankfully the blinds are drawn, and the room is dark. I slowly sit up in bed and allow my eyes to adjust to the room, but then my heart drops when my eyes eventually focus.I’m at home, I’m in the room I share with Asher, dressed in my most comfortable pj’s, and I have no idea how I got home.Panic grips my chest; I don’t know what happened last night after my second cocktail. Did I come home and fight with Asher? Did I actually fucking drive home?!I look around on my nightstand for my cell phone but don’t see it at all. I don’t even see my glasses. What the fuck is the time now? It’s Friday, and I’m probably late for my first class by now. Deciding to suck it up, I go to the bathroom to do my business then head downstairs to my fate.The smell of bacon and garlic mushrooms make my stomach rumble, and I realise that I didn&rsq
AsherThree am, and Liam is still not home. Seth and I have looked everywhere we thought he might be, but we’ve come up empty. So here I am, pacing the porch while waiting for his Audi to pull into our street.The sadness I felt has been replaced by worry and fear for him. He’s never switched his phone off; we can’t even track him through his cell. Where the fuck could he have gone? Is he safe?“Ash!” I hear Seth call out from inside and am about to go inside when he bursts through the door. “I know where he is! Let’s go! How could I have forgotten?!” He says, then pulls me towards my truck. “I didn’t think he would go to a bar by himself because that’s just not who Liam is!”A bar? Liam is alone at a bar?“Which bar, Seth? How do you know this?” I ask, starting up my truck and pulling out of the driveway. When I look over at Seth, I see him biting
Asher “Liam!” I run out after Liam, but he’s already speeding away in his car. I call out to him, but I get no reaction whatsoever; he doesn’t even slow down.“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I exclaim, punching the concrete garage wall and running back inside to grab my cell phone. We can’t leave things like this, and I won’t allow us to end things like this even if it is all my fault.Liam doesn’t answer when I try his cell, but I keep on trying even after he’s killed the call.How could I have been so stupid? We spoke about having our anniversary dinner indoors and reliving our first night together, but now it doesn’t look like that will be happening. In fact, it feels like Liam has given up on me, on us.I sink down into the couch, my eyes going to everything he has set up for us and finally landing on my gift. Sighing, I pick up the gift box and open it, my heart breaking a
LiamHe walks into the living room, swaying a bit on his feet as he does so, and I stand up. “Hey, baby. You've been waiting long?” He asks me in a slurred voice, scratching the back of his hair, and I shake my head. I know he’s seen the balloon because I saw the dread creeping into his eyes as he did.I shake my head and walk towards him, catching a whiff of stale cigarette smoke on his clothing. “You know, Asher, I decided to be patient with you because I knew you loved me and wanted to make things right, but now, I’m not so sure,” I say, scoffing. I hand over the balloon to him and smile, despite my tears.“Last year today, you claimed me as yours after the first game. It was the best night of my life, knowing I had someone who actually wanted me for more than sex this time around. I felt loved; I felt accepted and cared for. It’s amazing how a year can change someone.”Horror flashes
Asher The after game win always feels like such a rush, and it doesn’t matter if you’re playing it or watching it on TV. When your team scores that winning point and you’re the one to do it, there is nothing quite like it! During the trip back to New Haven, I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy waiting for me at home. I would never have pictured living my college life like this, much less with another guy. I thought I would be at OSU, living it up in my dad’s shadow, pretending to be straight, fucking more girls than I can count and pledging to a frat house. Instead, I’m spending weekends at football practice, actually studying and coming home in the evenings to my boyfriend and ex-girlfriend, who is now transitioning, watching movies and cooking dinners. What a weird turn my life took, and I wouldn't want it any other way. It’s four pm the day after our match, and Coach has decided to treat us to congratulatory drinks. Obviously, I followed