Chapter One

Going through a lot of things will teach you to look into people's eyes just as I was doing now.

I've lived with Aunt Mae for about six months, the longest I'd stayed with anyone and that was partly because Aunt Mae talked a lot so her cheerful voice managed to drown out my thoughts sometimes. Not just that, aunt Mae looked at me the way a mother would love at her child, something I never experienced even though I had a mother.

Aunt Mae was also the kind of lady who would smile a smile that passed a message. "it's okay, I understand, I feel what you feel too." The hugs she gave me every morning when I woke up and at night before I went to bed, much like she did her son, made me feel better, it made me feel normal too. Throughout my stay here I hadn't lit a cigarette even once, in a way Mae made people forget their pain.

          

           However, today I didn't feel like Aunt Mae was any of those , today I felt like she was the one feeding me those pains.

"I'm not going back home,” I stated firmly.

"You have to baby girl , you can't stay here forever," Listening now to her voice I notice how shaky they were and Aunt Mae's voice was always strong but this wasn't a subject I was willing to talk about now.

"Please Aunty I'll do anything you ask me to I won't fight anyone and I won't thrash anything when I'm angry just pleaseeee don't take me home I don't have a family." I pleaded desperately my fingers wrapped tightly around her loose gown .

She put her hands by the side of my face, her eyes shone with unshed tears, it felt like she was doing this cause she had no choice.

"Please don't take me back home , please."

She shook her head. “Bethany I promise this is for the best, it's time to go home and meet your family I know it's been two years since you last saw them,"

Angry, I snatch my face encased in her hands. "they are not my family."

"They are no matter what."

The new replaced lamp by my bedside ends up in pieces within a second

"Family don't ship family from house to house, family don't hide family to avoid disgrace, family don't ignore family, family definitely will not make you feel unwanted, family understands.” wiping my tears, "you and Morris are my only family, please don't send me away don't send me away to those monsters.” the anger and frustration were evident in my tone.

"I wish I could but this is for the best, the maids will be here soon to prepare your things for tomorrow. You just have some sleep we'll move early tomorrow morning," 

Seeing as there wasn’t going to change her mind, I accepted my fate with sagged shoulders. "Yes aunt Mae." 

Tapping me twice on the shoulder she leaves the room but stopped at when I asked a question she didn't expect.

"You're sick aren't you? Is there something you aren't telling me?" 

There was a slight gasp from Aunt Mae when I asked. "There's no sickness Bethany."

I shook my head, “you’re never home this days, there are multiple pills in you bathroom, there was blood last week and I notice you've gone pale."

The silence in the room was so loud it was possible to hear a pin drop. I knew something was wrong it was clear enough, loud enough.

"Bethany," slowly she turned back to look at me. “get ready for tomorrow you're leaving to meet your family and probably make peace with them."

At the mention of family I felt the last bit of resolve slip. "Yes aunt Mae."

This wasn't the end I was definitely going to find out what it was sometime later, with or without her knowing.

        

                            ***

              Life had a way of doing it's own things. It would give you a candy only to snatch it away when it sees how much you enjoy it. Life didn't want some people to be happy because it'd probably destroy the lives of the more important ones, yeah life sucks and it definitely was a cheat.

If I had known I would have remained depressed like I should , I shouldn't have let even the slightest bit of light into my life, if I'd known I would have rejected the candy life offered me after letting me chew bitter leaves for two years. I shouldn't have let a rose grow in my heart only to prick me in the end .

Life was filled with sad things, sad events, sad stories, sad encounters, sad everything. A dark shit.

Morris poked my cheeks, pulling me out of my reverie. “make sure to be a good girl Bethany dear,” He tried to imitate his mother but his voice was so loud I almost thought he was dying. 

I slapped his hands away from my cheeks. “shut up Morris, I should be telling you that.”

“well,” he smirked. “errr no, good people are so boring.” 

I glared at him when he ruffled the hair I’d tried so hard to tame. “you fool!” I cursed loudly, “I woke up six thirty just for my hair and now you’ve destroyed it.”

Morris still had the guts to smile, the bastard even shrugged like it was nothing. “you’re welcome.”

Before I could say anymore Aunty Mae walked out. “are you ready?”

I nodded, “yeah.”

My eyes found Morris, he was trying so hard to hide his disappointment with a smile. I was enveloped in a warm hug, “I’ll miss your big head B, take it east and always remember that I love you and…” he hesitated a little, “I hope you find it in your heart to forgive mum.” 

Pulling away from his arms I looked into his eyes. “why am I being sent home?”

“I can’t say.” He couldn’t even look at me, I wondered how big this was that they wouldn’t even tell me.

“fine, take care Morris.” Without waiting for anymore reply I turned and walked to the car, I didn’t turn back until the car was a good distance away. “I’ll miss you too Morris.”

             As we stepped out of the airport into our designated car I knew for sure that would be absent by the time I got there, my so called ‘home,’ so sure that they didn't even want me there, why would they anyways? I am after all the child they didn't expect in the first place the kid, a result if their own mistakes glaring  back at them, the one who looked nothing like them.

         Since the airport was about two hours away from my house we got to there by afternoon. As I’d predicted there was no one safe for Allan had the decency to have at least taken out of his time to come meet that particular family he hadn’t seen in a long time. That was enough to bring back the scowl on my face. The moment I stepped into the building every bit of warmth in my heart was snatched away. This house might have designs worth millions of dollar it however lacked warmth. If a house didn't have that then it wasn't fit to be a home.

Aunt Mae's had all, from the garden which was filled with daisies and sunflowers to the kitchen where different scents of food wafted the air. I shook my head, “I should stop thinking about aunt Mae’s home or anything that has to do with her at all.”

"Sis you're home!” Allan exclaimed excitedly, wrapping me in a hug before moving to hug our aunt. I don't remember when he wasn't excited because he always was, probably why I preferred him to the rest .

"Allan darling you look excellent," Aunt Mae compliments, her tone matching his. 

"I know that right? you don't look bad yourself. How can an old lady like yourself look this great still?"

"Silly I'm not that old but you know we have to give people something to look at.” she winked 

 I cleared my throat, tired of listening to them exchange compliments.

"Oh yes," Allan gasped. “I’ll show you to your room."

My nose pull up in disgust when I take a look at what he said was my ‘room.’

"You love it don't you?"

Aunt Mae knowing the answer to that before laughing softly 

"Honey whoever said Bethany will be happy with this amount of pink."

"So you don't like it?" He asked unsurely, "Janice picked the color."

Scoffing, "no shit sherlock I already guessed it was her, I hate the way she covered the place with pink, my eyes are already hurting from that amount. I prefer something purple or black and white."

"You could stay in the guest room for a little while, I'll just call someone to repaint." Allan suggested as he led me away from the there to the guest room. 

         By seven in the evening the rest of the them where back home. I desperately wished they never returned .

Aunt Mae had to force me to sit with them for dinner just to 'catch up' on old times but there was no old times.

"So Bethany you are in SS one now right?" Janice asked 

I opened my mouth to answer but Mae answered instead since she knew I was going to say something rude.

"Oh no Bethany graduated already she passed her WAEC with flying colors even got loads of awards for being the best graduating student." Aunt Mae's voice held pride, pride that made me smile but that smile immediately dropped when Janice scoffed 

"That's hard to believe, I mean for someone who has been arrested couple times, it sounds impossible."

"Janice!" Aunt Mae cut her off sharply.

"She's right aunty leave her be I accept at least better that than being dumb like this one, I can swear on my stars that you don't even know the president of our country.” the look on her face brought back the smile on mine, she looked like she was about to explode. 

Allan didn't try to hide his laugh, even though my mother kept scolding.

"Bethany you only just returned and you're already causing trouble," My mum gritted out.

"Trouble? You call that trouble? Okay then I don't know what you'll call this." at that I picked up the ceramic plate that looked the most expensive on the table and smashed it on the ground.

Aunt Mae and Dad tired to hold mom as she kept screaming about how expensive the plate was considering she ordered it from China earlier this week,  Allan held the angry Janice as she continued to curse at me and I Bethany seemingly satisfied with the wonderful work I'd done here made my way to the guest room, a grin on my lips. I was going t9 sleep perfectly well tonight. 

Next day Aunt Mae took the morning flight back to Port Harcourt because she had an appointment with a client, I didn't believe that lie but I played along with her.

Throughout that day and the next only and the one after only Allan and my dad tried to talk to me, the rest avoided me like I was a plague and to be very sincere with that, it hurt but I was already used to this kind of treatment so I wasn't all that bothered by it, I only hoped they wouldn't ship me off to somewhere else's too soon.