Chapter 3: Hold me

 Summer's Point of View

A heavy stillness descended upon us, so loud it felt like a deafening silence. My ears felt as though they were completely numb, and I could practically hear the chirping of crickets. The phrase that I shared with him was like a moment of enlightenment. 

Not even a trace of surprise was visible in his eyes anymore, but his expression had become a bit more gentle. Even though it seemed unlikely, I still held onto a spark of hope that perhaps what Celine had said about my husband was all made up and that the news had been twisted, intending to damage his reputation.

Nonetheless, my hope dwindled to nothing when he asked me with a much colder and callous question, "When?"

The once complete heart I had has been slowly breaking apart, leaving it more and more fragmented. 

My head was wrapped in thick gauze and I couldn't move because of the casts on my hand and foot. He turned a blind eye to my current situation. He had not bothered to ask a word about it since entering the ward, but had the audacity to ask me about the divorce only.

Obviously, I'm just a loser in this marriage. Both in the past and present.

With a bitter smile on my face, I stared into his eyes and answered his query, “Do not fret, when I am released from the hospital I shall contact you right away so that the divorce documents can be expedited and the process can be advanced.”

He gazed at me seriously, then slowly made his way out of the door. But before he could finally go out the door, I heard his closing words, "Very well."

When he left, a sense of relief washed over me, as if a thorn that had been embedded in my chest had been removed. 

Being in the same room and having that small space between us, I felt something I couldn't explain; it was almost like if he touched me, my heart would shatter into a million pieces. I never imagined that it was possible to experience a mixture of nervousness, pain, and joy all at the same time.

When I had yet another headache, I lay down, hoping it would help the pain subside and erase the thoughts running through my brain.

Another month passed without Steven visiting the hospital again. Since our marriage was not officially over, he should have at least bid me a polite "hello" out of respect, yet I neither saw nor heard any sign of him...

Until the day came when I was finally discharged.

“Congratulations on your discharge, Missus Carter! And since today is your discharge, I brought you lots of food!” Celine greeted me warmly as she brought out the food she had cooked.

When she finished preparing the food, I couldn't help but think why she was doing it instead of my family members. For the duration of my two months of recovery, I was not graced with visitors. I was compelled to ask Celine because of this.

"Celine, when I was comatose, did no one visit me?"

I noticed her slight surprise, but she still answered, “I think so, Missus Carter. Given that I am the only one who visits you here consistently, if there is someone else, I can guess it must be Mr. Carter.”

“Then where is my family? Why didn’t they visit me?”

Without saying a single word, she simply shrugged her shoulders in response to my question. It was hard to believe that she knew nothing, and I was even more shocked that none of my family had attempted to find out about my situation for almost three months now.

It made me wonder...

"By the way, thank you so much for not leaving me. I can't thank you enough, Celine!" I took her hand and squeezed it.

With haste, she grabbed her hand away and placed it upon mine, then spoke in appreciation, “I must be the one saying thank you, Missus Carter. If it's not because of you, I don't know where I am today.”

Celine mentioned to me she became my secretary because of our accidental meeting and me helping her. Her father wanted to marry her off to a man she had never met, yet she ran away and escaped. However, all of her belongings, including her money, were stolen and that was the day I first met her.

I just smiled, didn't answer her, and just ate. We finished with relative ease, and she graciously drove me back to the home I used to live in. If it hadn't been for her, I was not sure I would have even been able to find my house. She could not stay for a prolonged period as she had to go back to the office to sort something out, as I had been gone for a lengthy amount of time.

As soon as she said her goodbyes, I immediately went to my room, as it had already grown dark. The moment I opened the room, there was no sign of the man's scent or so whatsoever. Everything in the room was neat and organized, with a few items which lend to a more feminine look. There was not a single item of men's apparel to be found.

He probably didn't stay or sleep here...

I glanced downwards, feeling a sense of bitterness emanating from within me. I wish I could go back in time and help my past self make better decisions. Is this really the wedding I have been dreaming of for so long? Not recognized by my husband. I was just like the wind in his eyes.

Not realizing the time I had spent, I stood in front of the wardrobe, looking at the men's office suites that had obviously not been worn and were in pristine condition. All it took was one step into the room for me to be reminded of the type of married life I had been exposed to.

In the past... Am I always suffering because of the love I am craving so much?

I sighed and was transfixed by what I saw... Not until I felt a chill run down my spine as I heard the cold and crisp voice behind me.

“You’re back. I thought I was the first one you’d tell when you were discharged?”

I couldn’t speak immediately and I kept my back turned like a stump. I waited a few more seconds before I gathered the courage to face him, then asked him, “How come…what brings you here?”

“You shouldn’t be asking that. This is my house too,” he said, and his jaw tightened. As he looked deeper into me, I saw him swallow and I noticed his Adam’s apple move up and down.

“Why do you have this ravenous look that seems to suggest you will devour me?” I asked.

He smirked, yet raised a questioning eyebrow. “Ensuring that I was not being deceived into believing that your memory was gone AGAIN. Oh, well. Devouring you would not be a bad idea.”

I didn’t hear the last words he said because he turned and went straight to the bathroom. I tuned out his words and kept my focus on the items in front of me. After scrutinizing the makeup and other items for a while, I didn't realize I was almost half an hour in there, giving me a chance to spot a figure that strongly resembled the Greek god Zeus appearing out of the bathroom.

As I observed the water slowly dripping down his muscular and defined abs, I had to almost spit my saliva back into my mouth. The only thing he had to cover himself with was the towel that was draped around his waist, and I was sure that any sudden movements on his part would expose that which he was so proud of.

“Does it look good? If you want more, since we haven't finalized the divorce, I can spare you the charge.” he mocked while walking towards me.

Because of his actions, I swiftly retreated and distanced myself from his aggressive body. Because I stared at his body for too long, he noticed my unintended sticky look! At the moment before he ceased his movements, I clamped down on my lip in anticipation of the scream that was about to escape.

“S-Stop! If you take one step, I’ll really scream!”

He gave me a look as if he was amused, and then he replied, “Come on, Missus Carter, as if you don’t like it. Wasn't the whole point of throwing the bed out of my room so that I would be only next to you? You were desiring my touches. What causes the sudden change?”

“You may be forgot, Mr. Carter, that I had lost my memories. And even my love for you has disappeared.”

I need to say those words. I was not sure if my love for him had already gone but the fact that I felt heartbroken just seeing him was making me desire a little vengeance. For almost two months, this so-called husband had never shown any sympathy nor at least acted as if he cared.

 For at least on our last day of our marriage, I couldn't let him look down or break me right in front of him.

I walked in front of him, slid my hand over his chest, and touched him flirtatiously.

I felt his body flinch but he remained firm and, to tease him even more, I taunted him, “Or perhaps you really want to hold me? After all, I can’t blame you. Your wife is so sexy. No man could say no to her. Now that we are getting a divorce, I want to enjoy this body with another man and make the most of it—”

Before I had the chance to finish my sentence, he grabbed my waist and my hand ended up on his chest. His chest seemed to be visibly red, and his breathing was shallow and labored, like he was trying to contain his anger.

“Try it, Missus Carter. You’ll find what you’re looking for!"