CHAPTER 4- SUICIDE

AUTHORS POV

SYDNEY'S heart thudded in her chest at Gavin's words. She wasn't sure she heard him right. Tears immediately began running down her cheeks. Gavin's eyes softened, he had no choice.

“I said I was sorry.” She hoped it was just mirth.

Gavin looked away.”The divorce papers will be ready tomorrow. I'll mail it to your office, you'll probably be busy with work to care.”

How could he say that? She loved him, but she wasn't sure he felt the same. Was Avery right? Is he using the baby as an excuse to divorce her because she sexually castrated him?

She grabbed the collar of his shirt and looked up at him. “How can you say I wouldn't care?”

He wanted to wipe her tears away but he held himself. “If you'd care, you would have been a proper mother.” and wife.

“What do you mean? I was always there for Ethan and Emily. I never missed PTA meetings, I read them to sleep every night.” and what about your husband?

Gavin tasted something bitter. “That wasn't enough Syd. After you suddenly had a longing to go to college, you were never the same.” He ran a fingertip over her cheek. ”You weren't the same girl I fell in love with.”

He was lost in her eyes as always. “You aren't the same carefree high school girl I used to know.”

“People change Gavin.”

He hated her change. “You were perfect the way you were.”

She moved away from him. She wondered how many times her father must have told her mother that. “I was a stupid kid who gave her body to a boy anytime he wanted to empty his scrotum.”

Gavin grimaced. “Is that all you thought of our relationship?”

Daring eyes meet his green ones. “Was there more to it?”

Gavin's anger surged. Was she accusing him of loving her for only her body? He remembered the time she had been teased about her falling in love with a lecher. He hated being called that.

“Fine, think whatever you want to think. I’m freaking tired of enduring your shit.”

She stood defiantly .”I'm not signing any divorce papers, don't bother sending it.” She held her tears.

His dark eyes swept over her face. “You don't have a choice Sydney.”

“Why!” She went berserk. She grabbed his shirt aggressively with anger and hurt. “How can you do this to me? I love you, Gavin. How do you expect me to live without you.”

He wilted for a second but pulled her hand away from him exasperatedly she nearly fell. “I'll send the papers tomorrow and you will sign it.” He slammed the bathroom door shut.

Sydney burst into tears, the stitch on her chest was opening. She walked out of the room crying, she had no idea where she was going.

How could he ask for a divorce? Didn't he love her? Was their twelve years together just an erotic dream to him? Sydney felt ants crawling in her chest and she wanted to rip it out.

She had no idea she was walking towards the busy road. Many unanswered questions plagued her mind. The powerful headlights of an incoming mail van revived her. Her heart skipped many beats; she had cataplexy. She wanted to move but couldn't.

People shouted at her to get off the road. Just a few seconds and maybe she'd wake up from this horrendous nightmare. Maybe Xavier would still be alive and Gavin would still love her. However, a hand wrapped around her waist in a flash and pushed her off the road before the van could hit her.

“She must be mad.” Someone said and sighed.

“Isn't that Mr. Reed's wife?”

“No, Mrs. Reed is a cheerful woman; she would never think of suicide.”

Was that how everyone saw her? A woman who was happy and without fault? Sydney thought as she held the stranger who had saved her life.

She got back to her senses and straightened immediately. “I'm sorry.” She avoided his gaze in case he was one of those crazy paparazzi.

The stranger was frowning. “You could have died, watch how you cross the road.”He spoke in a thick British accent.

And she broke again. She covered her face with her palms and cried. The stranger was taken aback. He looked around nervously. “Are you okay ma'am?”

Her heart ached; she couldn't believe she had almost killed herself. Gavin was right, she was a bad mother. Didn't she consider how Ethan and Emily would feel if she died?

The stranger allowed her to cry for a while when she dropped her hands; he took out a multi-colored handkerchief from the pockets of his worn-out pants.

“Here, your makeup is ruined.” He could see the smudges of mascara on her cheek.

Sydney sniffed and took the handkerchief then cleaned her face. When she was done, she lifted her head and looked at him.

She gaped at him for almost a minute. He was handsome, very handsome, maybe not as much as Gavin, but his creator had to be applauded. He had black shiny hair that scattered across his face, brown eyes that held concern, and light freckles on his nose. His jaw was perfectly chiseled; his biceps flexed from his plaid shirt as he ran a hand through his hair.

He chuckled wryly. “I'm not quite good at comforting women. Do you want a hug, or do you want to talk about it?”

Normally she'd slap someone who said such a thing. “Thank you for saving me,” she handed him the handkerchief but he told her to keep it. “I lost it for a minute.”

He saw the ring on her finger. “Marriage issues?” her eye widened. “You wear a ring.” He clarified.

She looked at the ring. It then occurred to her Gavin never asked her to marry him, it was their family's agreement since he got her pregnant before marriage. “Oh.”

“So I'm assuming my guess is right?”

Tears pricked in her eyes again but she covered it up with a stony demeanor. “Wearing rings could mean many things.”

He understood she wasn't ready to talk about it. “You shouldn't be walking alone by this time, it's close to midnight; you could get mobbed or worse.”

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I had no place to go.” She was afraid of seeing Gavin's cruel face.

The stranger's eyes washed over her petite figure. Her stomach was swollen; she looked like she had just been put to bed. She was in her pajamas.

“You could stay in my place for the night.”

“No, I can't. You've helped me enough.”

He smiled. “I insist.”

She didn't know this man but she didn't have a choice. She couldn't bear to see Gavin. If she tried staying at a hotel, they'd recognize her quickly, and suspicions would fly.

Sydney nodded. “I'm Sydney Morgan by the way.” She didn't want to say Gavin's surname or she'd cry an ocean this time.

He stretched out a hand, with a friendly smile on his face. “Gabriel Patel.”

She shook his hand. “Are you, by chance, related to Mr. Alfred Patel?”

He shook her hand for a bit too long. “I wish.” His smile didn't reach his eyes.

Gabriel took her to his motorbike across the street. Her eyes glowed with glitz. It had been so long since she had ridden on one of these.

Gabriel put her helmet on for her. “Should I be concerned?” He gestured to her stomach.

Sydney forced a smile. “I delivered days ago.”

“Oh, congratulations.”

“He's..um…resting.”She stammered.

Gabriel looked at her with pity. He had been riding back from a meeting with his father when he'd seen Sydney's depressed figure strolling carelessly into the busy road. He didn't know what came over him when he ran out of the bike and risked his life saving hers.

Sydney stared ahead at the fleeting light, her hair in the air and her eyes barely open due to the wind. She wanted to be seventeen again.

That moment when she had no care in the world, she had Gavin. She remembered when he rode her to the Brown's Movie room; That was their favorite hangout spot as lovers. They were so in love or at least that's what she thought.

“You are crying?” Gabriel felt a drop of water on his body.

Sydney sniffed and looked at the sky. “No, it's just the rain.”