(Bella)
I shove the papers on the table and Judy picks it up, her hand running through the papers in excitement.
A smile crosses her face as he mutters. "Finally," she turns to Ashley and Elena, giving them a knowing smile and then back to me.
"Alright. Let's wrap it up real quick. Go in there and pack your things. The buyers are waiting, hurry up Bella," she spat, crossing her legs and relaxing into the couch.
I stare at her, all of them, sobbing my eyes out.
Where do I go from here?
My life has been centered around Dean.
I drag my feet upstairs, each step feels heavier than the last. My heart torn apart as I packed my clothes, glancing around the house I'd started to set up as my forever home.
The one I'd build a family with Dean and live happily ever after. Fresh tears came pouring out, my eyes feels so heavy, my chest too tight to breathe.
Once done packing my personal stuff, I sit on the bed, thinking of where to go.
I really do not want to bother Derrick but he'd be so mad if I don't. And he's the only family that I have since mom passed, or perhaps the one l know of till –.
The thing is.
I'd have a sister, which I got to know on mom's dying bed, a secret or rather her past that she kept to herself. An elder sister but according to mom, she was forcefully taken by her first husband's family, after he passed, leaving her with nothing.
They left the country, leaving no trace. The only memory she has of her was her baby picture and so do I.
Mom had me after she remarried two years after.
I'd promised her on her dying bed that I'd look for her but all attempts had proved abortive since I only have her baby picture and a name, which I doubt she still bears.
I take a deep breath. Now's not the time for this as I could literally feel my eyes drench
with tears.
In a swift motion, I reach out to my phone and dialed his number, pressing it to my ears.
"Derrick," I sniffled.
"Bella," his voice sounded through the phone and then he goes silent when he realizes I was crying.
"You're crying. Damn it, what's wrong?" he asks.
"Can you come pick me up? I'd explain later," I say, wiping the tears blurring my vision.
"Hang in there, Bella. Be there in thirty minutes," Derrick's protective voice comes out.
I hang up and rolled my box downstairs. Judy, Elena and Ashley turns to look at me, their faces beaming with smiles like they've won a lottery.
"Oh, poor thing." Judy's voice comes in a mock scrutiny. "Don't be too sad. Just go back to the streets, I'm sure you're better off there,"
Elena gives a mock laugh. "That's where she belongs anyways," Ashley laughs along.
I look at her, all of them. A mix of anger and disbelief washing over me.
I feel like slapping off that smug smile on Ashley's face. Judy and Elena, they have always been like this, nothing new.
Exactly thirty minutes. I hear the honk of Derrick's car. I stood up but then I halt, my head is spinning and I feel like throwing up.
I steel myself, gathering the last strength in me as I walked out of my home, not sparing them a glance.
"Bella!" Derrick comes running up to me before I reach the ground.
I hear him calling my name, tapping my cheeks gently but everything went blank after that.
********
My eyes slowly opens, and a white ceiling comes into view, the sterile smell. It clicks.
I realize I'm in a hospital. I try to piece together what happened and how I ended up here.
The last thing that flashes through my mind is Derrick rushing to me before I could hit the ground, him calling my name and tapping my cheeks gently, everything goes blank after that.
The door cracks open and Derrick scurries in, relief etched on his face as he sees me awake.
He sits beside my bed, taking my hands. "Bella. How do you feel?"
I nod, disoriented. "I'm fine. How did l get here, what happened?"
"You fainted, Bella."
"Huh?" I exclaim, gently pulling myself up, and sits on the bed instead. "We should go, Derrick. I'm fine now," I tell him.
He shakes his head. "Your results will be out soon. We need to be sure, at least know the reason why you fainted," he says, concern etched in his voice.
I give him a tiny smile. "I haven't had anything to eat. That's why," I divulged.
Derrick stands up. "What? I need to grab you something then," just then the door opens again and a doctor walks in, holding an envelope.
Derrick sits back down.
"How do you feel Mrs Brennan?" That name brings back the hurt. I just give him a tight lipped smile but I don't correct him. "I'm fine now, I need to be discharged,"
"Sure. But you need to stay away from stress, it's not good for your condition," he says giving me a gentle smile.
Condition?
He seems to be oblivious of me saying I'm okay.
I'm about to ask but Derrick beats me to it.
"What condition?" Derrick, my cousin asked even before I could.
"Oh, Mrs Brennan is five weeks pregnant. Congratulations," he says handing the envelope.
Did I just hear right?
Pregnant, how didn't I know?
Oh, no!
I hesitate and Derrick takes the envelope instead. The doctor turns and leaves.
"Bella you're pregnant!" Derrick says excitedly but I kept a straight face.
His smile fades realizing I wasn't upbeat about it.
Tears welled up in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks without warning. "I can't be pregnant," I mutter whilst sobbing.
"Why? You've always wanted to," Derrick stares at me, confused.
Just then I realize I haven't told him about what happened.
"Dean and I are divorced."
"Huh?" Derrick exclaims, wide-eyed.
I take time narrating what happened, tears strolling freely from my eyes. Derrick looks horrified, confused just as I was earlier.
"You see why I can't be pregnant. Not now, I can't raise a child on my own, I don't know how to," I let out, my voice thick with emotion.
Instead of replying, Derrick wraps his arms around me, offering comfort through his silent hug.
I sink into his hug, sobbing on his shoulders. He pats my back gently, reminding me that I'm not alone. Eventually we pull away.
He holds my gaze. "First, you need to eat something. We'd figure this out later, okay?"
Bless him, the only person that truly cares about me right now. What would I have done if l didn't have him?
I nod.
I watch Derrick's back till he was out of the door. I'm left in the deafening silence of the hospital room.
I take the test results, my eyes gawking at it in disbelief.
God, I can't be pregnant. I'm emotionally drained to care for a child right now.
My life's a mess.
How do I get through this?
(Dean)"That's enough Dean!" Ethan says as he drags the glass away from me, eyebrows raised."You're only hurting yourself. Drinking won't solve anything," he retorts. "You need to go home and at least hear Bella out,"I chuckle bitterly. "And listen to more lies?" I blurted out. "Those pictures are all the proof I needed. She's a slut, Ethan."Ethan shakes his head. "This is quite confusing. Bella loves you, I'm sure.""Pretense, all pretense, man. She deceived me into believing that. But truth is, she still craves her old life, she wants to be out there fucking them dudes. She's on birth control, didn't want to ruin her perfect shape," I snap."My mother, Aunt Elena, they were right after all. Bella is a filthy slut, no redemption.""You're drunk, Dean. We need to get you home," Ethan says, skipping right past my tantrums.I scoff. "Home?" I laugh. "That's no home. She disgusts me, I can't even stand her," my phone insistently buzzes in my pocket, again, and again.I pull it out, and
Bella.It's been a week since the divorce and there has been no call nor text message from Dean.And each time I think about how easily he gave up on our love, it hurts me even more.I've tried to call him and everytime I do, it enters voicemail. Even Ethan's number hasn't been reachable as well.We're having a baby, one that we've always wanted and he doesn't even know.I've never imagined raising our child alone, never had to think about it and now it seems like that's becoming my reality. Dean is nowhere to be found, he hasn't reached out.It seems like I'm the only one half hoping to fix things somehow.I've been stalking our house for the past few days, waiting to talk to Dean but that gate has been closed, it just feels like I've been shut out of Dean's life for good.Judy wasn't bluffing about selling the house after all.My life has become a living nightmare.I instinctively rub my belly, I have a human growing inside of me, a baby to love me and me to love back.I don't even h
(Bella)"Sorry ma'am. But we've been asked not to let you into this premises," one of the security guards tells me.Is this a joke? I roll my eyes at him. "I'm here to see my husband!" I retort firmly. "I'm sure you know who I am?" "Of course we all do but please madam you have to leave now. I don't want to lose my job," he reply calmly, his tone pleading.I can't believe this, why would Dean give such orders. How did we get here?He disappeared on me, running away from problem and now he's restricting me?I could already feel tears forming in my eyes, waiting to spill.I turn to the guard again. "Please I have to see him. I promise not to get you into any trouble," I pleaded frustratingly.He takes a deep breath. "Trust me ma'am, if I can, you wouldn't have to ask twice." He says.I don't back down. "Please, just five minutes, it's important that I see him,""There's nothing I can do ma'am. I'm sorry you have to leave now,"I look at the guard again and he looked really sorry, like
(Bella)I step out of my ride, looking at the building in front of me, club forte. A place that used to be part of me till Dean showed up.I take a deep breath, putting my shades back on before walking into the club.I'd planned to come in time, if I hadn't, some of those weird and obsessed clients would've seen me.I walk straight to Jame's office and knock before letting myself in.A smile spreads across his face as I step in."Alright girls. We'll continue this later, I have an important guest," he smiles warmly at me, discharging the three girls. I guess they're newbies because I don't recognize any of them.They stand up, casting me a quick glance before they walk out of the door.James stands up, moving over as we share a quick hug. "It's so good to see you again, Bee. How long has it been?"I chuckle lightly. "It's been two years, James. Don't act like you don't remember,"He laughs briefly. "You know me too well. Don't you?" He retorts and then his face turns serious. "Why?" He
(Dean)In attempt to escape the nerve-wracking feelings, work had become my go-to, well even so more than usual.It's been roughly eight months since Bella signed the divorce papers and disappeared. And just like that I've spent the past months isolating from my social life and a little from the world."Can you put down that laptop for a moment, Dean. You've turned to a workaholic," Ethan says as he stepped into my living room.I don't reply him, I keep my eyes glued to my laptop, typing away.Ethan pours himself a drink and comes right back. "It's weekend, man. And you're still working your ass off," he teased.I pause a little, giving him a death stare but Ethan knows me more than anyone else.He furrows his eyebrows at me, this time he isn't about teasing me, he has this concern expression etched on his face."Look, Dean. If you think burying yourself with work is going to make you feel better, then you have to rethink, man." He says and paused. "It's been eight months and you're st
(Bella)"Mommy!""Oh, no," I mutter under my breath as I pause halfway up the staircase, laughing at myself inwardly at my poor attempt to tiptoe to my room unnoticed."Mommy you're home so late," Javier says."Were you trying to hide mommy?" I hear Jasmine's voice and her little flip flops behind me.And when I turned she has her tiny arms crossed while Javier is seated at the dinning table, looking at me with those adorable puppy eyes, and I sure as hell know where he got that from.Just then, Anne emerges from the kitchen, chuckling at the situation.I put on a smile immediately, knowing my babies won't stop asking questions if I don't answer.I walk over to Jasmine, bending to her level. "Of, course not, baby. Mommy is just a little bit tired," I replied, stretching my hand a little, just to sound convincing.Quickly I turned my gaze to Javier."I'm sorry I'm late again, sweety." I do feel guilty coming home late this past weeks but work has been pretty hectic.But then again, I ne
(Bella)"Alright honey, be good okay?" I say, smiling warmly at Jav and Jas as their teacher waits behind to take them from me.Jas smiles. "Okay, mommy""Mommy, are you picking us up from school today?" Jav asked, as he looks at me."Of, course, honey. Henceforth mommy's going to be picking you both from school,"I watch his face break into a big smile, Jas is not left out. "Really?" Jas asked, her eyes gleaming.I nod. "Yes, baby. I promise.""Pinky promise," Jav brings out his tiny finger and I almost burst out laughing with the way he did it."Pinky promise," I mutter, crossing my finger with his little one.I kissed them on the cheeks, watching and waving at them with a smile as bright as the sun as their teacher guides them away.Once out of sight. I take a deep breath, checking my wrist watch to confirm the time.I walk back to my car and head straight to work.After the early morning meeting where I delivered an excellent pitch to our future investors. Everyone seems impressed,
(Ashley)"I said I'd order when my date arrives, get lost." I snapped at the waiter, my anger bursting forth as I waved him off angrily."Such a moron," I mutter under my breath as he scurries away.I take a quick glance at my wrist watch and it's been two hours since I walked into this restaurant.Anger, fury is nothing compared to what is brewing inside me.Again, Dean's standing me up!I dressed my best, all for him but yet he never shows up.First up when he decided to give dating a shot after so much pressure from his mom and Aunt. He was cool, at least he didn't try to make me feel inferior to her, that slutty bitch.Even though I'd known, he's only doing this to prove a point, that he has moved on.But as months turned into years, he'd drifted apart, doesn't show up for our dates, doesn't pick my calls and takes forever to return them.It's just obvious that this relationship isn't working out. I've tried everything within the past few years to be just like that bitch but nothin
(Dean)"So, let me get this straight," Ethan says, bringing his glass down, his eyebrows raised. "You bought those and showed up at Bella's doorstep?" he points at the items I had gone with to Bella's apartment."What?" rolling my eyebrows, I drawled, taking a long sip from my glass. "I just wanted to do something nice, you know." I say defiantly."And you ended up messing things further up." He locked his eyes on mine, shaking his head briefly.I leaned back on the couch, restlessness building up in my gut. "I guess," I mutter in a whisper, acknowledging the truth in his words, and then I remembered her words, the part that makes my stomach churn and decided to share.I run a hand through my hair, the hurt resurfacing. "She said she doesn't love me anymore," I divulged, my voice a little tight as the weight of my words settles over me.Downing his drink, Ethan gives me a look. "I don't think she meant that,""You say that like you know for sure," I worked my jaw and sigh, not in anyw
(Bella)I flip through the last document on my desk, breathing out in relief. But that wasn't all for the day.I have a meeting with a client in a couple of minutes, I know I probably should hurry but the scheduled venue isn't far from Clein's.I've been a lot cautious since Judy pulled that client bullshit on me and it's safe to say that this was truly a client, not some red-hair grumpy woman disguising to be one.I exhaled deeply, closing the document and almost immediately a gentle knock comes to the door and Cynthia pops out her head from the doorway."You busy?" She ask, giving me a quizzical look but I don't miss the nervousness in her voice.I glance at my phone, looking back at her, I reply. "I've got to meet a client but I can spare a few minutes, come in," I offer her a tiny smile.She nods and steps in."Please," I say, gesturing her to take a seat.She settles in, dragging in a sharp breath, she looks at me and then let out an almost awkward laugh. "I know this sounds stup
(Bella)I step out of my office to Calvin's. I did stop by earlier to say hello but he wasn't around. Apparently, he hadn't been since morning.His secretary said he'll be coming in late and it baffles me that he didn't tell me, that's unlike Calvin but then I figured it must've been something really urgent.I knock gently and invite myself in."Bella," he raises his head from his laptop, a warm smile creeping up his face.I return his smile, walking over to his desk."Please," he says, gesturing to the chair just across from him.My smile gives way to a light chuckle, deciding to tease him a little, I retort. "You say that like I'm some stranger walking into your office for the first time,"That elicited a chuckle from him, he places a hand on his chest dramatically. "My bad, pardon me." He says between chuckle.I laugh, the both of us."Is everything okay though?" I ask as soon as our laugh quiets down, my eyes pinned on him. "You're just coming in, that's unlike you," I add.He lea
(Bella)I walk Derrick to the door, he steps out, turning to face me. "Don't overthink anything, one step at a time, you'll get through this," he gives me a comforting hug."Thank you, Rick. My regards to Ebony," I manage a small smile.As I shut the door, I lean against it, trying to steel my mind from everything.Once done, I made my way to Jasmine's room, quietly pushing her door open. There she is, already asleep, her small frame curled up under the covers, alongside her doll.I walk up close, and when I take a closer look at her face, I see the remnants of dried tears that crisscross her cheeks, leaving behind a subtle map.My heart aches as I carefully caressed her cheeks, my mind reminiscing over what happened earlier.I shouldn't have lost it in front of them like that but Dean he– he just have a way of getting under my skin.I gently brushed a strand of hair away from Jas's face, a small smile creeping up my face.After a while, I quietly walk to the door and carefully closed
(Bella)As I walk away from where Dean is, my steps are firm but there's a tight feeling in my chest, I'm not really sure why.I walk into my apartment and silence filled the room, a subtle reminder that I've got kids who are undoubtedly mad at me, I shouldn't have lost it in front of them like that.I see Anne walking into the living room. "They're mad at me, aren't they?" I ask, dropping my bag on the couch.Anne noticing the worry in my voice, nods slowly. "Yes, they are, but I already cheered Jasmine up, she isn't crying anymore," she tells me.I let out a deep sigh, slipping out of my heels. "Thank you, Anne. Please get the things in the car," I say, settling into the couch.She gives a polite nod and leaves.As I sit there, my mind drifts back to Dean, my thoughts a chaotic mess and for some weird reasons his hurt face is stuck in my head, refusing to go.I angrily told him that I don't love him anymore, that's not exactly true but I want it to be, for my sanity, because it just
(Dean)Her words hit me like a punch to the guts, and I struggled to find the right response. "I can't, I— I just can't stay away," I admit, my words stumbles out in a stutter. "Please don't shut me out, I'm sorry, I really am." My voice cracks, barely above a whisper.I look at Bella and she has this look, eyebrows all scrunched up. "I don't care, sorry doesn't fix anything," she spat, her voice trembling with both anger and hurt."I know, it doesn't erase the past," my voice cuts in sharply. "But moving forward I want to be the man you once knew, the man you fell in love with, a better man for you, our kids." I say and paused. "I do not want to be that man who runs away from problems anymore," I say, my voice filled with raw emotion.She takes a step forward, her eyes narrowing on me. "How thoughtful!" She mocked. "I should probably pin a medal on you or something," she spat, her voice dripping with sarcasm.Even in the midst of sarcasm, I can see the hurt buried beneath her words.
(Bella)"Mommy when's mister Dean coming again?" Jasmine asks between mouthfuls.I blink, taken aback by the sudden question but quickly I compose myself, knowing exactly how to dodge this. "You don't talk while eating sweety," I remind her with a gentle tone.Thankfully, that worked, she just nods and continues eating.I don't know how to feel about this whole thing, it's been a whirlwind. I'm angry, scared and even confused, all emotions in one, but anger is at the top of it.I've been restless since Dean showed up at my doorstep. Now Jav and Jas sees him as their new friend, they'd definitely want him around and then what?I just can't let him waltz back into our lives like nothing happened. And I definitely do not trust him, not anymore, his mother has already tried his crap on me.Jasmine's voice pulls me out of my reverie. "Mommy?" She calls, dragging my attention to her. She opens her mouth a little wider and I catch the hint. "See? I'm done eating mommy," she gives me a smile.
(Dean)As I drove home, I can't help but replay everything in my head.The pain I saw in Bella's eyes as she shut the door in my face, the way she looked at me, it's stuck in my head, like an imprint refusing to go.The deafening silence after she shut the door, it just feels like she's shutting me out of her life completely.Why did I ever let her go?That feeling when something's within reach but yet out of grasp.I feel even worse knowing I have a family I'm not part of, it leaves me feeling so empty.I don't know if there's anything I say or do that'd change anything but I do know that I'm never giving up on her, my family.I take a deep breath, my mind spirals.Ethan was right. I didn't handle things well, I should've fought for what we had. I shouldn't have let anger get the better part of me.If l hadn't, we'd still be together, raising our kids like we've always wanted.I deeply regret everything.I grip the steering, beating myself up mentally.The fear and the guilt of what
(Ashley)"You're unbelievable, Ashley!" Evelyn rants as we step into the house but I paid her no mind, walking in and replaying everything in my head."So the real reason you asked we step out this night is to stalk Dean?" She spat, her voice rising slightly in a pitch.I clench my fist beside me, stopping abruptly. Believe me, Evelyn is getting on my last nerves, I just can't wait for Kendra to get back, jezz!I turn, fixing her with a hard look. "So?" I spat, clearly triggered.She crosses her arms, her jaw set in a way that tells me she isn't leaving this alone. "You shouldn't have done that, it's wrong!" She replies, her gaze softening and then she takes a few step forward. "Look, Ashley. It's not too late to stop, you have to—,"I cut her off sharply. "Never!" I blurted out, my eyes blazing with anger. "I will never leave Dean for that bitch, he's mine and I won't let anyone get in my way," I say sternly, my voice loud and clear.Evelyn chuckles, her eyes slowly meeting mine. "He