41: The Calm Before the Storm

He gripped the wheel tighter as he drove down the familiar route to the OB-GYN clinic. Anticipation hung in the car as Khana sat beside him, her hand on her tummy. For both of them, this routine monthly checkup now turned into an affair of prime importance—a ritual that brought mixed feelings of excitement and nerves.

Khana's eyes lit up as she turned to Richard; her smile was radiant. "I can't wait to hear his heartbeat again," she said, her voice oozing with warmth and anticipation.

Richard glanced at her, his heart filling with affection. "Me too," he said, squeezing her hand gently. "It's always the highlight of my month."

As they walked into the clinic, antiseptic hit her nose, followed by very soft murmurs from other expectant parents. They checked in at the front desk and then took a seat in the waiting area surrounded by pamphlets on prenatal care and magazines on babies. Richard's mind strayed back to what had brought them here—the journey they set out on together.

He was elated, to-be-a-father, with an iota of anxiety that he simply could not shake off.

Before long, a nurse summoned them by name, and they followed her back to an exam room. Attending OB-GYN Dr. xxxx smiled at them warmly and asked, "How are we today?"

"We're good," replied Khana, hardly containing her excitement. "Looking forward to hearing the heartbeat."

A white-coated woman nodded, helping Khana up onto the examination table. She squirted some gel onto Khana's belly and rubbed the doppler device around her skin. In just a few seconds, the steady, rhythmic sound of their baby's heartbeat filled the room.

Khana's face brightened; welling up in her eyes were tears. Richard looked at her, feeling satisfied. Seeing her so happy lifted his heart, but beneath his glee, his chest pinched with sharp loneliness. He tried pushing the feeling away, but it lingered, snagging on the edges of his mind.

Khana noticed the sudden change in his expression. "Richard, is everything okay?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

Richard quickly masked his feelings, brushing Khana's hair back and kissing her forehead. "Everything's fine," he said, forcing a smile. "I just can't wait to meet our little Santillan."

Khana looked at him, her worry mounted until she could not hold back, and her mouth slipped what she had in her mind. "I keep thinking if I'll be a good mother to him," she admitted softly.

Richard caressed the back of her hand, his gaze tender.  He said, "You are a lovely wife. I am sure you will be a good mother as well. It's your own flesh and blood. What makes you think you can't take care of our child?"

Khana sighed, then smiled back at him. "Thank you, Richard. That means a lot."

After the checkup, Richard asked his wife if there was a place she liked to visit, "I have emptied my schedule for this day. I want to spend time with you while you can still travel."

Khana laughed a little over her husband's statement. She replied, "You made it sound like I'll be a disabled person."

Richard replied, "It's just that you need ample time to recover from giving birth. You have to stay at home for quite some time."

The drive was quiet but comfortable, both were lost in their thoughts. When they arrived, the sight of the serene ocean waves greeted them, the water sparkling under the afternoon sun.

Khana turned to Richard, her curiosity piqued. "Why did you bring me here?"

Richard squeezed her hand and stared blankly at the clear sky. Then, his gaze landed on the calm sea. "I wanted you to see the waves of the ocean. Isn't it too calm and refreshing?"

Khana nodded, taking in the view. 

Richard's expression grew serious as he looked at her. "I wish we can always be this calm, even after a storm," he added.

"What do you mean by that?" Khana asked, sensing there was more to his words.

Deep inside, Khana thought his guilt was telling him to confess whatever it was that he had been hiding from her. She lent her ears, bracing herself for what he might say. She had been eyeing his movement for a while, yet the only conclusion she had was her father's company was on the verge of bankruptcy due to losing investors.

"I'll tell you something when the time comes," Richard began, his voice heavy with emotion. "But please don't hate me for whatever it is. I did it because I love you so much."

Khana's heart raced, her mind spinning with possibilities. She searched his eyes, trying to understand. "What is it, Richard? You can tell me."

Richard looked away, the pain in his eyes evident. "I am not a bad person. I don't need you to love me wholeheartedly, but please trust me this time."

Khana felt a lump form in her throat. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "I do trust you, Richard. But you have to tell me what's going on."

Richard remained silent, his gaze fixed on the horizon. Khana felt a mix of fear and frustration.

Although Khana badly wanted to hear his confession right away, she also had a soft spot for him. She felt how big his love for her was, thus he would never harm her. To be honest, it was Bettina whom she lost trust with, since Bettina and Richard are different people, she can't be mad over what Bettina might have done. She has this feeling that the one who is involved in such an incident at her father's business was all instigated by  Bettina and she simply hostage her kind relative Richard.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at the resort, the calm waves providing a stark contrast to the turmoil in Khana's heart. As the sun began to set, they sat together on the beach, watching the sky turn shades of pink and orange. The beauty of the moment was bittersweet, overshadowed by the unspoken tension between them.

Khana couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. Richard held her close, his arms wrapped around her protectively. He tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her hair. "I promise, Khana. When the time is right, I’ll tell you everything."

"I've been thinking about what you said," Khana continued. "About the storm and staying calm. I need to know, Richard. I need to understand."

Richard sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. "I know, Khana. And you deserve to know. But I need a little more time."

Khana felt a pang of disappointment but nodded. "Okay. Just promise me you won't keep me in the dark forever."

"I promise," Richard said, his voice barely above a whisper.