Chapter 5 : He's a mystery

Chrisanna 

Which message? My eyes widen at his question. Meanwhile, before I could say anything else, Kylee comes inside with Zoey. 

Zoey meows at me right away, jumping onto my lap. 

"She missed you", Kylee pets Zoey's head as I smile, rubbing her fluffy furry torso.

"Wait!" Samuel husks. As my gaze drifts back to him, he gawks at us in disbelief. "What's this?" he scoffs, narrowing his thick eyebrows in annoyance. 

I look at Zoey before focusing back on Samuel again. "This? This is a dinosaur with lots of furs and fluff"

Samuel throws me a blank look. 

"I didn't know you had never seen a cat before in your life, Samuel", I gasp under my breath as Zoey snuggles to me. 

Kylee cracks up. 

"I can see, it's a cat. But why is it here?" he shrugs.

"First of all, she's a female cat. So, stop saying 'it'. Call her 'she' And her name is Zoey. Cute no?"

Samuel rolls his eyes. "Okay. But it— why is she here?"

"Because I'm here"

"Why are you even here?" he grunts with a voice of frustration.

I totally ignore him and look back at Zoey. She looks so upset right now. 

"Hey, sweet girl, it's okay. He didn't mean that. Actually, he's still going through the trauma he's married already", I tell Zoey and she meows.

Kylee bursts into laughter again when Samuel keeps shooting me death stares.

"Kylee, shut up!" Samuel screeches, making her mum. "Stop laughing and go from here now"

"Fine. But don't argue much. Mom will get to know", Kylee sighs walking out of the room.

Right after that, Samuel looks back at me. 

"She can't stay here!" he says again. 

"Why?"

"Because I don't want a mess"

"Oh? Why would you think that I would listen to you? I can't leave my pet just because you have a problem. And this is not your house either"

"But the room is mine", Samuel again takes a step closer to me. It's like a turn-off button for everything for me when the distance between us is insanely less. I suck the air under my breath and take a step back. 

Why does he always gaze at me as if he's gonna eat me up right away?

"Fine. She won't be in your room", I let out a breath that I was holding. 

"Fair enough", he shrugs and walks towards the closet and I find it better to set up a place for Zoey.

* 

Emmy helped me to make a place for Zoey downstairs. Even though I know she is used to staying with me, I can't force Samuel to keep her in there. Everything should be a mutual decision when we have to stay together.

"Chrissie!" Kylee halts me in the corridor when I was moving towards my room. 

"Yeah. What's up?" I ask.

Kylee gulps down nervously. "I heard you talking to Samuel about the message", she mutters. 

"How do you know about the message?" I exclaim. 

"Chrissie, listen", she grabs my wrist and whispers. "I know that was a stupid move. But— I sent that message to you"

My jaw drops due to utter shock. "What did you do?"

"I sent the message. I had Samuel's phone at that time and I did it", she says, lowering her eyes.

I can't believe it. "Kylee! Why did you do that?"

"Because I didn't want anyone else to be my sister-in-law", she shrugs.

"What? Kylee, that makes no sense", my voice becomes louder as she presses my hand.

"Please don't tell Samuel about it. I know I made a mistake. But I didn't want you to call the wedding off. You and Samuel look so good together. I wanted to protect my brother from some bitches I don't even know. You were perfect", she says.

I sigh.

Typical teenagers!

I have no words to say. Her foolish act literally got me into trouble. 

"You understand that Samuel thinks it all happened because of me?" I seethe. "That was so immature of you, Kylee. You can't decide who your brother should get married to or not. You should change the way of your think otherwise, you'll end up being toxic to everyone"

As I slam her in utter frustration, she remains silent, lowering her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Chrissie. I didn't—"

"I don't wanna talk about it now", I gasp. "And don't worry. I'm not telling him anything", saying, I surge back to the room. 

When I get inside, I already find Samuel freshened up. He's only wearing a trouser with no upper clothes on which reveals a giant tattoo on his forearm. 

Once he told me he would get a tattoo when he'll be eligible to get one. He was so passionate about that.

"When I'll get one, you'll be the first one whom I'll show it to", Samuel's old words echo inside my head with his softest giggle. 

I didn't know I had been staring at him until he turns to me. Hesitated, I look away immediately, tucking my hair behind my ear. 

"You really put your clothes next to my clothes?" he shrugs, slamming the door of the closet shut. 

"Yes", I stutter. "What do you want me to do then?"

"Let me breathe", he fires back at me, sliding a red t-shirt down to his robust torso which is still wet, water drops dripping down. 

Jesus! 

I'm really watching him in such detail!

"I didn't stop you from breathing", I snarl.

"Find some other place for your clothes"

"I won't", I cross my arms, striding towards the bed and slumping onto it— just in front of him. 

He stares down at me with that typical ruddy gaze. 

"Yes. I won't. Because you have to share everything with me from now on. Accept that, Samuel. Because no matter what the circumstances were, we got married. And I'm not taking it as a joke. You have to share your closet, your room, your bed, your washroom, everything with me. Because again, this marriage isn't a joke to me. I don't want any terms and conditions because I do want to make it work. When I took those vows, straight looking into your eyes, I meant that"

"I meant that too", he snarls, interrupting me midway.

My eyes halt at him for a second as he slightly looks away.

"I'm a believer!" he tells me as if he wants to make it clear that those vows mean to him only because he's a believer.

"So am I. I'm a regular church goer", I tell him. "That's why I'm saying we should stop fighting and you should stop sulking around. Because we are both at fault. If we're stuck together, it's not only because of me, or only because of you. Our stupidity made this happen. So, just accept what happened and move on. We can't split. You know that. For our families"

My voice softens in the end. Even though I'm mad at Kylee, I can't fully blame her. We had all the time to stop it from happening but we kept pushing it away. That was our stupidity.

Samuel shrugs, nodding after a long moment of silence. 

* 

I come out after taking a long shower and finally getting rid of the wedding dress. I have put on an oversized top with my short pyjamas. 

My entire body is itching right now. Samuel is already lying on the other side, gratefully leaving some space for me. His eyes are closed. 

My subconscious automatically takes the chance to properly look at him yet again. I wonder if he even tried to look at me properly like that. I don't understand his harshness towards me. We were so good back then with so many unknown beautiful feelings embracing us until he suddenly left it all behind. I could never know the reason. I didn't think I had the right to ask him either. In so many years. Maybe, now, I have that right. 

I gulp down my heart beating faster. 

And you were bravely telling him to share a bed! I yell at myself inside my head. 

I hesitantly scoot onto the bed and slide inside the blanket. The bed is big enough so I keep much distance between us before closing my eyes.

I'm so tired after the entire day of rush that my eyes feel heavy. Sleep almost emerges when I feel something heavy on my torso. I can barely open my eyes due to exhaustion. However, I can feel a whiff of cosy breath fanning my skin. It's Samuel. He's so damn close right now. 

I part my eyes open, discovering his face near my chest as he has literally covered the space between us with his giant hand laying over my stomach. My breath hitches as I stare at him sleeping peacefully. 

It takes me back to the moment when we fell asleep in school. We were locked in the maintenance closet and had to sleep closer to each other. He couldn't keep himself organized while sleeping and his hands and legs kept coming all over me. That was the first time I slept next to a guy, the only time. And crazy enough, it's again him. And maybe, it'll always be him from now. 

I didn't realise I had been smiling the whole time while staring at him and recalling those days. 

It doesn't feel bad though. 

I close my eyes, my exhausted body giving up for the night.

* 

That's a weird sound. I squirm onto the bed half asleep as I hear the sound of something— maybe, breathing. Someone is breathing. Heavily! 

It takes my brain a while to process after waking up in the middle of the night. Through a thin light of moonlight coming from the window, I can barely see anything. But Samuel is awake. He is seated on the bed, breathing heavily.

"Samuel!" I call him but he doesn't respond. 

"Samuel", I call him again, louder this time. 

He doesn't reply this time either.

"Can't you sleep?" I ask, confused but soon enough as my vision clears, I realise he's shaking.

Alarmed, I get up right away and sit closer to him. His eyes dart aimlessly at nowhere as his breathing gets faster.

"Sam— Samuel?" my voice comes out terrified as I hold his arm. "What's wrong?"

"Get back to sleep!" he groans, still huffing. 

"But what's wrong with you?" I exclaim.

"Get. Back. To. Sleep. Chrisanna!" His fierce voice makes me shudder from the core as I take my hand off him.

I won't deny that it scared the shit out of me. 

I'm concerned yet scared to ask him anything further. Pushing myself back to the bed, I turn around, drifting to the edge and close my eyes tightly. I don't think I'll be able to sleep properly after this. 

* 

I did sleep last night. Thanks to my tired body which dominated my disturbed mind. It's seven in the morning and I'm lying on the bed. Alone. It's been ten minutes since I woke up but Samuel didn't show up. 

I get to know he has gone somewhere when I check my phone and find a text from him. 

"Sorry if I scared you last night"

My sanity is unable to comprehend anything. It feels like I have known him for so long and I still don't know a single friction of him well.

Samuel is like an ocean. No matter how deep I dive into him, I can't get past a point and more than half of him just remains a mystery to me just like the ocean is still the biggest mystery to humankind.