(Bakersville middle school, 2005)***“Do you think I’ll turn out like my dad when I grow up?”Emily looked up from her books. She had noticed he had been distracted ever since he walked in, and she had wanted to ask if everything was okay. She didn’t have to ask anymore. It was a bit charming, how she could always tell if something was wrong with Gabriel. He couldn’t hide it, even when he smiled and said it was nothing. She wouldn’t ask him again, because he would blurt it out eventually.It broke her heart a little that this was what had been bothering him. it must have weighed on his mind for a while. She took his head in her hand and laid it on her shoulder. He was taller than her, way taller after he’s gotten his growth spurt so he had to slide further down on the floor they were sitting on, just so that he could be comfortable.“I think the fact that you’re worried about it is a sign enough that you won’t be,” Emily said.“You really think so?” he asked.“Yeah,” Emily said, “I m
EMILY***I had been lying awake in bed for almost three hours now. It was the weekend but my body which was used to waking up at eight in the morning rudely interrupted my sleep. I wished I could sleep more. I didn't want to face this day. I wanted to sleep all my problems away, but I knew that wouldn't change anything. I would just have to wake up and face them.I had already made my decision but telling it to Harry was a whole other ball game that I was not ready for. I was sure he had decided that we should try to work things out and that we should stay together. He would be so disappointed when I told him I wanted a break. Harry was a good guy. Despite everything, he was kind and considerate and I wanted him in my life. This was just a hurdle that we needed to work through. Maybe separation would help us.I smiled when I thought about the word 'separation'. It took me back many years to the time when Gabriel's parents decided to live apart for a while. He explained to me the diff
GABRIEL *** It was Saturday so I was in no hurry to get up. I took my time because this was the first day of many days to come that would require my bravery. I would have to meet Emily, either by accident or because I was with Harry and I would have to look her in the face and act like I didn't love her. The mere thought made my heart ache. I wished I could stay inside forever. More than that, I wished I'd moved somewhere else, where I wouldn't have to worry about Emily. But I was here, this was my life and I had no choice but to face it. I slept in a little bit more before I got up and decided to have breakfast. I also needed to meet Harry. He had told me that I didn't need to worry about what he wanted me to do, but he had not told me what had happened between him and Emily that had made it that way. He didn’t owe me the information but I wanted to know regardless. I was hopeful that things hadn’t gone well and I was delusional that that meant I had a chance. But above all, I kn
EMILY *** I talked to Tiffany. She won’t be bothering you again. I’m sorry again. I’d gotten this text from Harry just as soon as I'd gotten to my dorm. It made me feel guilty but a part of me also felt relief, that I didn’t have to worry anymore. I sighed and sat on my bed. My thumbs hovered over the keyboard. What was I supposed to say? I gave up and threw my phone onto my bed, then I got into my covers. I wished I could stay there forever. It had been two days since our last conversation. I had woken up that day hoping that the conversation would go well and we would get to a conclusion, that I would leave with a heart as light as it was before everything happened, but none of that had happened. The conversation had not gone as planned, we hadn’t gotten to a conclusion and my heart had never been heavier. I had hoped that I would be able to tell Harry what I had decided but he went ahead and told me about Tiffany and it made me feel guilty. It made me feel inconsiderate, but t
GABRIEL *** How did things go? I don’t know, man. We didn’t come to a conclusion and I texted her after to tell her she didn’t have to worry about Tiffany anymore but she hasn’t responded. She probably needs time, but things will work out, I promise you. I sure hope so. What are you up to? I’m going on a blind date later. Really? That’s great. Tell me if you need anything. Sure. I’ll tell you how it goes. Okay. I had texted Harry to tell him about the blind date so that I couldn’t go back on it. I had gone back and forth from deciding I would move on from Emily and not even telling her how I felt to wanting to confess how I felt to her, Harry and everyone else is damned. I was swinging back and forth, going up and down on this rollercoaster of emotions, and I was a mess. I couldn’t go back, this I knew. I had already picked a side when I told Harry to be confident that he would get her back. It was a side I clearly needed to keep picking because my feelings weren’t cat
(Bakersville middle school, 2005)***“Ashley Brown is having a birthday party and she’s invited the whole class, can I go?” Emily asked her Mom.“Is Gabriel going?” Terry asked.“Yes.”“I’ll pick you up at 9,” she said.The party wasn’t for another two days but Emily had wanted to ask early, just in case Terry needed convincing. She hadn’t expected it to be so easy. She went up to her room. she couldn’t wait to tell Gabriel.She had been surprised that Ashley, the most popular girl in school, had invited everyone in their homeroom to her birthday party. She had expected her to only invite the popular kids and Emily had been prepared to stay in and catch up on her reading.This was new for her. She’d been to birthday parties, but never to a popular person’s birthday party. She would have to talk to Gabriel, and get a few pointers from him on how to act cool and not embarrass herself.The school was abuzz the next day. Everyone was talking about Ashley’s party. She was just as excited
EMILY *** What happened to you was hard. It’s okay that you still haven’t gotten over it. Take all the time you need. I had been thinking about this part of Juliel’s text since she sent it. It was hard to accept because I had hoped I was over what had happened. But maybe she was right. Maybe it had been too hard for me to get over as quickly as I'd hoped. I had moved from my desk to my bed because I had been bouncing my knee and tapping on my books with my pen and I feared that I was irritating Nila. But what did that mean? Did it mean that I was supposed to stay single until I had completely healed from the incident? What if I never got over it? What if it was something I was supposed to live with, not get over? Her advice was good, undisputable even, but how was I supposed to apply it to the conversation that was undoubtedly about to happen between Harry and i? It was hanging over our heads. It was bound to happen sooner if not later. I wanted to break up for good, but what if
EMILY *** “Are you ready to go?” Harry asked as I fastened my seat belt. “Yes, I am,” I said, straightening my dress. We were going on a double date, with Gabriel and his girlfriend. I hated the thought of it, but I couldn't say no. We were going bowling off campus. Gabriel and the girl he was seeing had already gone ahead of us and we were joining them in the evening because we both had classes that we couldn’t miss. It was Harry who brought up the idea, and I couldn’t refuse, mostly because he told me that Gabriel had agreed.This angered me even more. Why had he agreed? What point was he trying to prove? What message was he trying to get across? I thought that he was trying to move on. Wasn’t that the reason why he had met someone? Hadn’t that been an attempt at moving on with his life? If so, why was he still trying to involve himself with Harry and me? It was annoying, but I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to go on that date and act unbothered. I wasn’t goi