I Don't Think So

YuZhi surprised TangShi by pulling her close in a threatening manner, her body rammed up against hard masculine muscle that she found hard to ignore, and then ungracefully pushing her away with a harsh shove. Her breathing labored from the sudden assault, it sent her rolling away by a foot, with a squeal, and she had to grasp the sheets to save herself from toppling right off the bed. He was juvenile and merely wanted to scare her while exerting his dominance on what he viewed as a pitiful creature.

"I don't think so. I'm not in the mood. You definitely don’t do it for me either." It was a sulky retort, fury seeping out from all over him in his stiff and gruff manner and TangShi blanched in shock. She wasn't exactly rooting to have relations with him after today, but she was still surprised he was refusing her. Especially in such a young petulant boy and tantrummy kind of manner. She was sure she had felt his arousal so this made no sense to her.

  After all, wasn't the shotgun wedding so he could immediately begin to start trying for an heir? This was their wedding night! Wasn't that the point of dressing her up, rushing this through and sending her to his suite as soon as they got here. To dress like this too.

  It was night by then, but she was still told to ready herself for the young master accompanying her as soon as she walked in the door. Not even allowed to sit down and have an evening meal, despite not eating since morning.

  "What do you mean? Your grandfather said…" TangShi forgot herself for a moment, her resistance replaced with question, and spoke out. Confused and a little rejected by his sudden lack of desire. She wondered if she was really so repulsive to him, even dressed this way, that he didn't want to touch her. Unable to understand what was wrong with him. Most men when aroused would have to follow through, right? That's what the magazines said.

  "I don't care. I won't be forced, and I won't be seduced with slutty clothes. Don't think I don't see the intention. I have someone I care about and you and I, we'll only do what’s required when your fertile, without all this… I don't want to see it again. Cover up!" he grabbed the strap of her lacy negligee, tossing it aside with a sneer of disgust on his face. "Cheap…. Shameful. I prefer virtuous women, not ones who make bargains to sell their body to the highest bidders." He snapped it in her face while TangShi reddened from the top of her head all the way down to her toes. Knowing she couldn’t exactly refute it as that’s what her father had done.

  Truth be told YuZhi had reacted to this outfit, just as a man should and it made him so incredibly angry at his own lack of impulse. Seething over the fact his body would forget Rhea so readily for this slip of a girl in sexy underwear. Even if Rhea knew that he had to do this for the sake of an heir and had promised to never hold it against him. It still felt wrong. He didn’t care if was married to her, she wasn’t his girlfriend and wasn’t someone he wanted to have sex with.

  Suddenly ashamed that he thought the nightdress was her doing, TangShi didn't want to pass blame to Xiaosu, knowing she was probably only doing as she was told. So she shook her head instead. Oblivious to YuZhi's conflicted thoughts and growing distance.

  Dumbfounded at how much venom he had in him for someone he did not know well and had made such awful judgment of. He had never mentioned their previous encounter either, so she wondered if this was all based on something she did back then and didn't realize it at the time.

  She couldn't recall anything other than letting him kiss her passionately so many times that night. Maybe that was it, maybe her allowing his kisses and handholding back then was the reason he discarded her so coldly. He thought women who allowed such intimacy were shameless? Cheap? Easy? Surely, he was more forward thinking than that, or maybe his grandfather's traditionalism was ingrained, and he really looked down on her for it.

  But then, he was the one who had kissed her repeatedly, and pursued it when she was too shy. He had held her hand, hugged her close …. More recently he had a girlfriend who he obviously sleeps with if his manner is anything to go by.

"You misunderstand my character, I …"

YuZhi gave her no chance to defend herself at all. Despite her low pleading tone and the genuine sorrow in her expression. Her willingness to back down and the hurt in her expression at being judged like that.

  "Pffft… You think I don't know women like you? I've had years of you throwing yourself my way, all the same kind! The only difference is one of you finally had a father to do your bidding who was worthy in my grandfather's eyes. You got your wish; you cajoled a bind to me where other's failed… now go sleep over there and don't touch me. I want a list of your fertile days by lunch tomorrow." He turned his back on her, making it clear he had no intention to touch her in any kind of way. His manner bleak, his wall of iciness up and she was intimidated by his strong aura of command.

  YuZhi's words and actions almost choked her, with both shock, insult, and sheer fury. He really did think so little of her and so much of himself. This arrogant and spoiled stupid man, looking down on her for something she wasn't even guilty of and had no control over. How dare he think she had whispered begging words in her father's ear to secure marriage to this man. This egomaniac and asshole. She wouldn't have asked to even share air with him if she was given a choice!   She only wanted a peaceful life and her independence far away from anyone in Shanghai!

  TangShi opened her mouth and glared at his straight and foreboding figure in the darkness, outlined by the moonlight seeping in the cracks of the curtains in the window. Irritated by how blessed in attractiveness he was but lacked any kind of charm. She had so many harsh words she wanted to say, to defend herself, to scold this idiot, but instead she snapped her lips closed.

She wouldn't lower herself to someone like him. Let him think what he wanted. It made no difference to the situation she was in and in fact, maybe his not wanting to have anything to do with her was a blessing. She crossed her arms across her bust haughtily.

  She had heard of men pestering their women for constant sex until it became laborious and unenjoyable. Some endured it merely for a peaceful life and she had no high hopes that YuZhi would try and give her pleasure from the act. She was happy to be left to sleep! It delayed the inevitable pregnancy that might happen and gave her time to get her own life in order, and plans organized. She wasn't going to sit in this mansion and waste away her days waiting for him to grace her bed at night, and she wasn’t about to organize her life around this jerk either.

  She turned her body away too, leaving a huge gap on the bed between them where the sheets dipped down to form a visual boundary. Both stiff and angry, mirrored in posture, and each staring at blank walls ahead of them in a silent standoff. TangShi had lived through her fair share of insult and injury from callous people, but never had she been as incensed as this at the hand of a stupid man. He seemed to be able to trigger a fiery response that had long lain dormant in TangShi, and she could not push down the urge to turn around and smack his head with her pillow. She had never had violent tendencies of any sort and here she was wishing to hit him with anything close by.

  "Stop moving, you're annoying me." YuZhi's arrogant and snooty tone flickered her way and made her even more furious.

  "…" She bit her lips tight to hold back the swear words which lingered. She wasn't moving in anyway at all, as still as a statue in this huge unmovable bed. So he was just looking for a reason to criticize her and talk down to her some more. TangShi huffed, made an unladylike snort of distaste and made a point of moving around on the bed to get comfier. Plumping her pillow, lifting herself up to bash it around, and adjusting the sheets in a slow and deliberate fashion to rile him for the sake of it. She took great delight in tugging the sheets, so his arm was moved by her action. He turned angrily, leaning up on one elbow to glare at her shadowy face as they came eye to eye. Two storms meeting in a chaotic ocean.

  "Really? Are you trying to piss me off?" He snapped, his biting tone carrying a threat and yet TangShi found the inner strength to not back down. Even as a child who suffered so much and held her tongue in so many ways, she was still stubborn when it was called for. He had found the button to ignite some of her pride. Finally, someone had.

  "Goodnight, Mr Leng… If my moving bothers you, there's a couch over there. Try it. I hear it can be good for the back. You certainly look like a posture adjustment might help reduce some of your anal tendencies!" She cooed in a haughty tone of superiority, admiring her own ability to find the skill to do it.  Right back at him and smiling sweetly, flinching at her own sudden sass and goading this man in a way she had never goaded anyone on purpose before. She didn’t know she had it in her. He seemed to bring out the need in her to rebel.  A little flicker of excitement that made her feel suddenly alive and willing to stand up for herself.

"This is MY bed!! How about YOU go sleep there. Might help remove the stick from up your ass." he completely lost his temper at her sassy suggestion and yanked the sheet from between them, tugging it his way so TangShi was pulled towards him in a ferocious manner. She fell against his large body, almost on top of him with a gentle thud, and had to brace herself on her arms pinning over his shoulder and head.

  "You're a bully and a brute! So not the esteemed master of Leng, or gentleman they all say you are! You’re a despicable and immature little boy!!" TangShi regretted the words but at the same time, felt exhilarated at her sudden burst of brave.

  Pulling back to regain her distance from him and showing no hint of fear. It felt good to answer back after years of being trodden down, and despite his curt manner, and oozing hostility, something told her he was not a man who would beat a woman. For he surely would have done it already with how she was pushing his buttons. Her father would have so much faster.

  Maybe her memories of him that night tainted her instincts so stupidly, but there was a feeling that she could push his bottom line and he wouldn't cross the boundary her father had so many times. Or maybe, it was that she had been beaten so many times in her past that she no longer feared it and knew it could not be worse than anything she endured before. Her father was cruel and ruthless and had made it so she could bear pain better than most.

  "Isn't that a shame… given you fought so hard to win me. Guess you got what you asked for! Now I know you hate it so much, I'll be sure to increase this manner and let you enjoy how despicable I can be." He was furious too, to be called such things by this little waif of a woman. He lifted his hand pushing his pointer finger into her forehead and shoved her away as forcefully as he could and watched her fall back onto her space in his bed.

She had looked so pitiful and weak in the marriage office, for a moment he had felt remorse for her, and now, spitting at him like a devil in his own bed, he saw through her and that victim act. He really disliked her arrogance through and through. She was a very good actress at hiding her true ugly nature and he had no room in his heart for a manipulative female who wanted his title and his money.

  She had drawn a line in the sand, an act of war and it thrilled YuZhi more than having sex with her did. He really did not want to betray his ex-girlfriend even if he had no choice. Three years of life with Rhea and yet his grandfather refused her as his wife and made him do this instead. It had left a bitter taste in his mouth and TangShi was the one he was forcing and venting all his emotions on. He couldn’t take it out on anyone else so she was the perfect target.

  He wasn't going to make it easy for this scheming woman and her gold-digging family. He couldn't hate his grandfather for forcing his hand, he loved him deeply, but he could use this annoyance as his way to offload negative feelings. He would enjoy seeing her suffer for pushing him to marry into her family while relieving his stress about the whole thing. God, he knew Rhea would be thrilled to find out how much he detested his new bride.

  "I hate you!" TangShi's emotion broke, her voice hoarse and croaking with painful knots in her throat. Her heart wielding the pain of both eight years ago and his manner now. Something inside of her finally giving way for the years of being treated as unworthy and it came out in her rage towards YuZhi. He seemed like a good place to let it all out.

  "Feeling's mutual, now shut up and sleep. Some of us have work in the morning. Some of us have things to do." It was a vicious reprimand and retort, highlighting his understanding that she was a pampered young miss of a wealthy family and probably had never worked a day in her life.

  It shocked her that a man with his own rich upbringing looked down on noble women this way, but she sniffed back her brewing tears. He had no idea that she was nothing like this at all.   In fact, her contact with Linlin these past two days was about arranging to meet as soon as she could free herself from her family, to start looking for a job to support herself. She would never rely on money from Lei or Leng to get her through the next two years. She would still paint and sell her prints online as before, but she wanted a job to fill her days and make time pass quickly so she could see the day her divorce was final come faster.

  That was what she was clinging to and knew that the compensation for her life here would be enough to run far away this time. With money she could outrun her father once and for all.

  She knew she had to give the family Leng a child, but the contract was clear on those details. After the birth they would take the child away to be raised by their own, and she wouldn't have a chance to do anything or even see it. She couldn’t fight it and knew denying them that right was pointless. Her father signed away her right to even become a loving mother to the heir she bore and it was obvious YuZhi would never keep her around after she gave him what he wanted.

  It was a shocking and painful realization, but she had to be strong. She knew she had to focus on the bigger picture instead. To detach her emotions while stuck with YuZhi and forced to carry his child. She had to think of herself as a surrogate and not even his wife. She knew he had only Rhea in his heart and made it clear she was still going to be in the picture, no matter what sacrifices TangShi made to come here. She needed to endure, push down the emotions and ride the storm until she could be free again. The child would be raised by another woman, and she hoped would receive the love TangShi never had.

  TangShi knew she had the patience and will power to get through and as she finally laid back down and turned back away from this hateful man, she pushed her heart into a dark corner and told it to be still, be quiet, and no longer let this disappointing male affect her anymore.

Maybe she was always meant to meet him again. So any stupid hope she had held onto which stopped her from ever letting his memory go would soon be squashed.   How could she harbor any kind of anything when faced with this arrogant and unlikeable Prince of Leng.